Tugging on the Wedge Driven Between Us (Roselle)

[Aftershock]

Cairenn paced back and forth in front of Roselle's door, as she had been for the past fifteen minutes. Her thin fingers gripped the edges of the slightly overlong, loose sleeves of her navy blue blouse, and her booted feet barely made a sound as her light frame traversed the stone corridor in one direction, then the other, her slate blue knee-length skirt swishing past her petite legs as they moved.

It had been two full weeks since the Gather, and the notorious events that had occurred between her and A'nd in the Ice Maze... and the awkwardness of her aunt finding them together at the Maze center after pursuing her with A'nd's Wingleader, M'gnum. She had been spending some time with A'nd in the weeks following, but felt much too awkward to speak with her aunt beyond simple greetings in the hallways in passing... she imagined anything more than that would lead to questions about her and A'nd, questions she wasn't ready to answer... or likely didn't know the answers to.

Finally, she decided enough was enough, and stopped in front of the door, taking a deep breath before knocking quietly. "Auntie Roselle, are you there? It's Cairenn... c-can we talk?"

[Ivy]

Cooped up in her weyr for the past few weeks had left Roselle in a less-than-great mood. Sure she'd had the company of a certain bronzerider lately, company she appreciated and surprisingly enough enjoyed - but not being able to get out and about freely left her grumpy. She was nearly healed though, if truth be told she probably could get about just fine - Tserieth accused her daily of milking her injury so M'gnum would visit more. That may or may not have been true, Roselle preferred to think she was being overly cautious to avoid injuring herself further.

The knock at her door brought a brief smile as she folded the book in her lap and stood up. Making her way towards her entryway with only a slight limp, the smile faded when the voice on the other side of the door spoke up. Cairenn. Before the Gather she would have been delighted to see her niece, now... Now she wasn't sure what this visit would bring - or what they'd even talk about. Annoyance fluttered over her features as she wondered if A'nd would be with her or not. At the door she opened it partway and upon seeing the bluerider was absent she opened it fully, "Hello Cairenn."

Moving away from the door she made her way back into the main sitting area of her weyr, giving her niece the choice to follow or stand awkwardly in the doorway. Taking a seat she picked her book back up and glanced down at the pages, "What did you need?"

[Aftershock]

Cairenn physically cringed at the ice in her aunt's voice, wondering if she'd made a mistake coming to the woman's weyr after all. She stood for a moment in the doorway, unsure whether she should just excuse herself and retreat, or push forward, when she finally collected up her bravery and moved forward into the room, walking over to stand in front of Roselle where she sat with her book.

Whether her aunt chose to pay attention to her or the book as she stood before her, Cairenn took a deep breath and said, "I want to talk about A'nd... I know you don't like him, but I hate that me being closer to him seems to have pushed you away. I don't want to have to choose." As she spoke, her voice became more and more choked with emotion, and with her final words, her eyes were misted with the beginnings of tears.

[Ivy]

"No one said you had to choose. I don't like him much, no. Do you realize what would have happened when Nildath rose had I not kept him away like you wished? Then his attitude towards me at the Gather... He's full of himself, just like half the men in this Weyr. He isn't good enough for you." Eyes remained trained on her book as she spoke, even though she wasn't really reading it anymore. Looking up at her niece she sighed and patted the couch next to her, setting the book aside. "You are family, I will love you no matter what choices you may make in your life."

Closing her eyes for a moment she opened them and slowly exhaled, "You like him that much, aye?"

[Aftershock]

Cairenn sniffled back her tears a bit as Roselle spoke, and took the offered seat beside her aunt. Grabbing one of her aunt's hands in her own as a form of emotional support, she replied, "He's not that bad, auntie. He just thought you sheltered me too much, and after my reaction when he stuck his hand down my shirt..." Suddenly, Cairenn trailed off, freezing like a herdbeast in the eyes of a hungry dragon as she realized she might have said too much.

[Ivy]

Roselle let her niece take her hand and gave a gentle squeeze. Nodding through most of what Cairenn was saying she was about to speak up, until the girl practically dropped a bomb. Eyes widened a bit before narrowing and she nearly stood up - before realizing she'd probably hurt herself if she did so suddenly.

Instead she avoided her niece's gaze for a moment and took a deep breath. Tserieth for her part sent soothing thoughts to Hers, realizing how badly the woman wanted to go find A'nd and kick his head in.

A few silent long moments passed before Roselle finally spoke, "Just be careful with him. People, men in particular, can seem as if they care about you - when really they are just using you for something."

[Aftershock]

Cairenn winced at Roselle's reaction, and as her aunt averted her gaze, Cairenn desperately explained, "It's not what you think! His salamandyr ran down my shirt, and it started tickling me, and I couldn't breathe, so I asked him to get her! He wasn't trying anything, really!" She bit her lip, then, watching her aunt's face with worry in her eyes, her grip on Roselle's hand tight as if she worried she would have to hold the woman back from stalking after A'nd to do something horrible to him.

Finally, after her aunt spoke and it seemed like the threat of homicidal action had passed, Cairenn said, "I... I know, auntie. I don't really know what I feel about A'nd... I like him, and I like spending time with him, and he's really nice to me. But... I've never had a boy as a friend before, so I don't know if this is just how you feel towards boys who you're friends with, or whether I feel something more than friendship towards him..." She sighed deeply, then, her one hand still holding firmly onto Roselle's as her other hand nervously picked at a loose thread on the cushions of Roselle's couch.

[Ivy]

A pang of guilt jolted through Roselle as she regarded her niece, she should have spoken to her sooner - the poor girl was inexperienced with so much. It was her job as her aunt, as her friend, to help her. And she'd instead spent all this time being angry and resentful towards the girl and A'nd over what happened at the gather. Sighing softly she moved her hand away from Cairenn's so she could wrap an arm around the girl's shoulder and pull her close against her. Kissing her forehead she nodded a bit, "Relationships - be they just friendship or something more - can be quite complicated. Especially when the opposite gender is involved."

Staying quiet for a moment she nuzzled her cheek against the top of the girl's head, "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I'm so sorry. If you have questions, I want you to know you can ask me. I can't tell you what it is you feel about A'nd though - it may be just friendship, it may be more. You could try finding other boys to be friends with, see if there's a different feeling with them?"

[Aftershock]

Cairenn wrapped her arms around her aunt's shoulders as she was pulled in, tears streaming down her face and quiet sobs wracking her body as the tension from worrying about her aunt's feelings or reactions flowed from her body. "Oh, a-auntie, I was so w-worried you h-hated me," she quietly sobbed into Roselle's shoulder.

Finally getting her emotions clear for the most part after a couple minutes of this, she pulled her crying-reddened eyes from her aunt's shoulder as she sniffed a couple more times and said, "I-It's hard for me to make friends, auntie. I wish I did have another boy as a friend so I could know better, but you and A'nd are the only friends I really have..." Pausing a moment, she then resumed with, "A'nd is a good guy... I enjoy spending time with him, and he never pressures me. We've only kissed, and I was the one who initiated it. I... I think he knows how inexperienced I am, and he doesn't want to hurt me..."

[Ivy]

"I could never hate you love, never. I'm sorry." Kissing her niece's forehead again she offered a soft smile as the girl sat up and looked at her. Reaching out she gently wiped the tears from Cairenn's cheeks and nodded a bit as she spoke. Roselle managed to keep the smile on her face from turning into a scowl at the news that A'nd had kissed her niece, but just barely.

"Well it isn't that hard, you're just thinking too much about it. What about at wing training? I'm sure there are other people there, some of them are probably men right? Starting a conversation with one of them can't be that hard..."

Offering a reassuring smile she nudged her shoulder lightly, "I could help you if you wanted."

[Aftershock]

Cairenn looked away as Roselle spoke, then replied quietly, "I-It's hard for me, auntie. I-I'm not pretty and confident like y-you are... I couldn't even save myself from my family like you did, I had to have you come save me." She wrung her hands nervously as she recalled the eventful day that Roselle had extracted her forcibly from the grasp of her horrible family in Hyphen... she had never heard from them since that day, but she was honestly glad that she was in Inverness now, and thousands of miles separated her from her father and brother.

At Roselle's next words, she turned slightly, taking one of Roselle's hands in both of hers as her tear-reddened eyes lit up. "Would you, auntie? I would love you to help me make friends, show me how it's done!"

[Ivy]

A smile flitted over her features, though her brows furrowed together as Cairenn claimed herself not pretty. Reaching out with her free hand she tucked some of those brown locks back behind her niece's ear. "First things first my love, you're not only pretty - but beautiful as well. Never let anyone tell you differently. If they do, they're not your friends."

Leaning forward she kissed the girl's forehead before sitting back and glancing around. "Here, let me do your hair." Pulling away gently she stood and made her way over to the desk to fetch a brush from one of the drawers. Making her way over to the couch once more she sat down and turned her niece by softly guiding her with both hands on her shoulders. Once she was turned she began to run the brush lightly through Cairenn's hair. Beginning to hum quietly she smiled.

"Really it isn't hard. Even if you're not fully confident in yourself, the key is to act confident. No one will doubt you if you appear to have no doubts in yourself. Do you think I really think I'm that fabulous and can do no wrong? Well most the time, yes..." She teased and nudged Cairenn gently with the brush on her arm before resuming brushing her hair, "There are many times I have doubted my ability to do different things. Plenty of times I have felt insecure about something, but I never showed it."

Soon she was finished and set the brush aside. Picking up a few strands of that dark hair she began to work them together in a braid along the side of the girl's head to tuck back. After she finished that one she worked on the other side. Over, under, over, under. Soon that side had a braid as well and where they met behind Cairenn's head she braided them together and then secured them with a spare runner-tail holder she had on her wrist. "There. Now you cannot hide behind curtains of hair. People - men in particular it seems - find confidence to be very... intriguing. Even if you're not looking for a weyrmate, which you shouldn't be at your age, you'll find some decent friends by just changing your attitude a bit."

[Aftershock]

"Thank you, Auntie," Cairenn mumbled, embarrassed at her aunt's compliment on her looks. She turned readily at her aunt's guidance, and sat silently as the brush ran through her hair, followed by braiding. It had been a long time since Cairenn had anything done with her hair beyond simply brushing the copious locks herself to keep it from becoming a rat's nest of tangles, and she found that she quite enjoyed being paid attention to like this, even if it was just by her aunt.

Listening to her aunt speak, she finally replied, "I do try to act confident, auntie... but sometimes I do it too much, and I get myself in a situation where people think I know how to do something I really don't, and it's so embarrassing," she said, coloring yet again at the memories of her faked confidence getting her in over her head, and the consequences of it. She then continued, "I think I've been staying away from people as a whole lately because I'm worried I'll get myself into trouble again." Turning slightly as her aunt finished braiding her hair, she looked sidelong at her aunt as she asked, "How do you act with confidence you don't have, but keep from getting too far over your head?"

[Ivy]

"Well you don't have to put yourself too out there - and you should never be embarrassed to speak up if you don't know how to do something. There is no shame in admitting you need help with a task or to further understand something." Roselle spoke very matter-o-factly to the girl as she smiled. It was strange, having someone else come to you for advice after so many turns of feeling like you were on your own. Taking care of a dragon was a lot easier than taking care of the emotional needs of a teenaged girl.

"I'm not the best at everything and there have been many times I've floundered in a situation - but you'll find in time you will always regret the risks you never took." Sighing she bopped her niece's nose lightly. "Believe me. Living with regrets... Well it sucks."

Sitting back she gave a smile and shrugged a bit, "You'll get the hang of it dear. Like I said, I am more than willing to help."

[Aftershock]

Cairenn listened silently to her aunt, nodding softly and looking up slightly in surprise as her aunt admitted to making mistakes and floundering herself... the teenager didn't think her aunt capable of such gaffes. As Roselle mentioned regrets, Cairenn quietly asked, "Regrets, auntie? What regrets do you have?" Just as soon as she asked, however, she realized that it might not be the nicest thing in the world to make Roselle relate her personal embarrassments like that, and she dropped her head as she quietly whispered, "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask about such things..."

At her aunt's promise of continual support, Cairenn smiled and wrapped her aunt in a tight hug, saying, "Thank you, auntie, so much. I'm so sorry for everything, and I never want anything to come between us again."