Nothing to Say [R'wign]

[boober]

Aryna looked wary, like a feline slowly sneaking up on dangerous prey. It was a look she didn’t have often and one she would prefer not to have at all. It wasn’t normal for her to be in this part of the Weyr. It just wasn’t. She didn’t really even know why she was there now, only that she was. After a few seconds of standing in the hallway the brown rider squared her shoulders and punched herself mentally for being a deadglow. They were just babies; what could they hurt? Really? The worst thing they could do was what? Slobber on her? And that was terrifying why? She didn’t know but she would much rather face an angry Benden rider than one innocent gurgling baby with gas. The gas was scarier.

But after she’d managed to make herself feel sufficiently ashamed for being an idiot, Aryna rounded the corner and came face-to-face with the crèche... there was a slight hesitation in her step before she gathered herself and walked in. So many babies... the crèche workers seemed haggard and worn from looking after all the children, and it was busy. She was hardly given a glance as she walked in. It was enough to make her stomach sink. The siege had created so many orphans by either death or abandonment. Never in a million Turns would she have admitted it but Aryna felt something for the children. Some maternal instinct that she buried under the much more important survival instinct, perhaps. But she hadn’t come here to feel sorry for every child in the nursery. There was just one she was sort of morbidly curious about. The only one whose parents she’d even remotely been familiar with. And now she couldn’t even think of them without seeing their dead bodies strewn on the floor like so much rubbish. It was baffling. It was irritating. It was haunting. Nothing bothered her so much as that scene in the weyrling barracks. She hadn’t said anything to anyone, and likely never would, but that didn’t mean she could ignore it totally.

And there he was. Aryna leaned against the wall after making sure there were no brats underfoot to step on. Folding her arms against her chest, she stood hipshot and watched a little boy with dark curls and pale skin play quietly by himself near a corner. Apparently he was building something, something that others found interesting. A younger child crawled over and immediately knocked whatever toys Calerin had stacked up to the floor, gurgling in amusement as they clattered to the ground. Patiently, the toddler simply picked them all up again and began building anew. It didn’t seem to upset him in the least that his hard work and concentration had all gone to waste in a matter of seconds. Aryna would have smacked the other brat across the face if it had been her... no matter that it was an infant who wasn’t even walking yet. But really, would one expect any different from Aryna?

But now that she was here, what was she going to do? She didn’t even know… all she knew was that she had to come and see if he was here. She’d have breathed a big sigh of relief if he hadn’t been, because she would have assumed he’d been fostered out and that would be that. But no one was taking care of him. Not even the crèche workers, who could only ignore the quiet, well-behaved children for the noisier, more outgoing ones that all but demanded their attention. It wasn’t really fair but there was nothing to be done for it. And now she didn’t know what to do. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Straightening, Aryna let her arms fall to her sides. There was nothing she could do. Nothing at all. Are you not even going to speak to him?

And say what? 'I'm sorry your parents are dead'? Her reply was snappish and full of anger, but Dramuth knew his rider better than anyone, and he could read the thoughts going through her mind right then. However the brown refused to comment further. This was one argument the dragon knew he was not going to win. Perhaps another day.

[glamourie]

“He’s an orphan now, you know.”

The voice belonged to none other than R’wign. The brown rider was standing several paces away from all of the cribs; odds were, Aryna wouldn’t have noticed him upon her arrival if only because he was… half-hovering in the shadows, as though he was afraid of someone seeing him. Which… he was.

R’wign did not normally visit the Creche. He didn’t like children until they were old enough to amuse him and even then it depended on the child. He was a patient sort and many had argued he was good with them - particularly child-patients - but R’wign disagreed avidly. Considering that he could barely hold a baby without feeling like he was going to break them, he thought himself absolute rubbish where children were concerned. The Creche was one of the last places in the Weyr he could ever be found as a result. He came by once or twice to see Calerin, made faces at the baby, and fled; that was his tactic ever since the Siege, and he’d only done that out of a feeling of obligation to the little dough-ball that was Cezine’s offspring. He almost never held the child, but he did talk to him… sort of. At least, he talked to him more than R’wign did any other child. He just felt incredibly awkward, like a bumbling, overgrown fool. How anyone could adjust was beyond him.

But he was going to have to learn, wasn’t he? That thought was what drew him to his spot in the corner of the Creche, hovering as if being seen would make him more vulnerable, or at least have to explain his presence. He had a good reason for lurking and his reason was due some time near the beginning of the next Turn - probably late spring/early summer. The idea of being a father was staggeringly terrifying to R’wign. Aside from the fact that he’d always been - well - terrible with children, he was also worried he just would not be a good parent. What if he failed? It wasn’t just him that he’d be failing, he’d be ruining an entire life. How could he live with himself like that? The thoughts left him absolutely petrified, and the only thing that kept him from panicking was the knowledge that if he started to make mistakes, he could always run away and hide. It would be cowardly, but Meira wasn’t forcing him into it. So it was a choice. Having a choice made it more bearable somehow.

He did hope that his offspring had better manners than most of the ones in the Creche, however. He was confident his would be much better looking.

The baby of whom he spoke was Calerin - Cezine’s son. He’d known the child since he was born… literally. Of all the babies in Selenitas, Calerin and Kahrelir were the only ones he didn’t feel awkward and fumbly around, with more emphasis on Kahrelir than Calerin. Nothing personal against Cezine’s child but Kahrelir was mute; he didn’t talk, he didn’t fuss, and he didn’t seem to care one bit that R’wign was about as graceful with him as a drunken gold dragon. The baby just liked him. So did Calerin, oddly, but - he was around Kahrelir more. Not lately, but before. That and he was closer to K’lir than he was Cezine. Strange, but true. K’lir practically forced the child down his throat in terms of interaction; every time he needed a babysitter, it was R’wign that he dumped him on. But… R’wign was going to have his hands full soon. So awkward…

“Both Cezine and E’ri were killed during the Siege. Some of the drudges have been trying to find him a family; he’s well-behaved, and already potty trained. You’d think most people would jump on that opportunity,” R’wign said, then pushed off the wall. His arms folded behind his back as he stepped up beside Aryna. Then he lifted one hand to awkwardly adjust the eye patch over his missing left eye. Despite buying a glass eye, he found himself falling back on the patch more often than not; the fake one was just for special occasions. The patch, while itchy, felt somewhat familiar, and he was getting used to its presence… slowly. He glanced at Aryna, then down to Calerin before sticking his tongue out at the child. “Both of E’ri’s other children - the twins - were fostered out. It’s only Calerin who didn’t get someone to take him in. I’m pretty sure it’s because he’s younger, and therefore more responsibility. People at Selenitas seem to squirm away from anything that demands time. You’re Aryna, right? K’lir’s friend?”

[boober]

As if on cue, Calerin suddenly turned and looked over at the two brown riders. Upon second glance though it was obvious that the boy had eyes more for R’wign than Aryna. He didn’t know Aryna and therefore she was all but ignored. Abandoning his toys, he clumsily got to his feet and waddled over to the pair. He gave one look at Aryna but that might have been because she backed away from him as he drew closer. No, no… Aryna did NOT do babies. She didn’t do anything that hadn’t hit puberty yet and even that was pushing the limits. Since she clearly didn’t want him, Calerin turned his attention back to R’wign and raised his arms expectantly. Obviously he was demanding to be picked up. R’wign was the only familiar face he saw anymore and that had a profound effect on him. He didn’t really understand too much, like why his parents were suddenly gone or why he was stuck in this place with all the other babies, but what he did know was that wherever his parents had gone they weren’t coming back. As far as Calerin was concerned, all he had left was R’wign. So was it any wonder that the little boy was always after the healer to pick him up?

Aryna was all but hiding behind R’wign and peering almost fearfully at the toddler. She hadn’t seemed to realize that he was completely ignoring her for now. She’d made it clear she didn’t want him so why would he waste attention on her? Aryna glanced at the healer as he spoke, a slight frown marring her face. She took in the eye patch and was instantly reminded of her own injury. She regretted thinking of it immediately, as it annoyed her. The scars she could deal with, but her injured eye was just… ugly to her. Although there was absolutely nothing wrong with it aside from the much, much darker coloring, it looked… weird, and just… well, ugly. Others would probably argue but they would likely just get a stony stare for their efforts. The eye was the reason Aryna had pretty much stopped looking at her reflection. There was no logical reason for this; the injury was in no way gruesome, just a bit odd. If she could think of something to say, Aryna might have made some dry comment about eye injuries as a result of the siege but nothing came to her.

All she could think about was babies, and how much she DID NOT WANT one. Ew, it was getting closer. She sidled to R’wign’s other side, putting as much of him between her an Calerin as possible. It seemed that the brown rider’s weakness was… well, babies. Although it may have looked like she wasn’t listening though, she was, and she shook her head firmly. “I know; I saw them.” She didn’t get any more specific than that; did she really need to? The image of E’ri and Cezine’s bodies were still plenty fresh in her memory; there was no need to remind her of that. Oddly enough she didn’t snap at R’wign, which would have been the most likely course of action if she hadn’t been distracted between keeping distance and (even better) another body between her and Calerin. It only dawned on her what R’wign might be suggesting a few minutes after he spoke. Frowning, she gave the healer her full attention for the first time since he’d stepped out of the shadows.

“What are you saying?” The tone, along with the expression that accompanied it, was obviously suspicious. Aryna had a sinking, cold feeling in her gut. Surely he wasn’t trying to get her to take… a kid? She thought about lying and saying she was someone else but what good would it do? He’d probably still be trying to fob the weyrbrat off on her anyway. So she simply nodded. “Yeah, that’s me.” To be honest, Aryna didn’t think that highly of K’lir’s spawn either. She just… did not do babies. Period, end of story. It gave her the creeps just coming into the crèche in the first place. What was she doing here again? Right, right… that thing that had his little arms up waiting for R’wign to pick him up and make stupid faces at him. Best decision of her life, really. Despite her silent complaints to herself Aryna continued to watch Calerin closely. Only Dramuth knew that she felt… almost guilty that the boy had ended up parentless in the crèche. She hadn’t killed his parents, but still she felt guilty all the same. Emotions were such funny things….

[glamourie]

Uhhhh. He was holding his arms out to him. Awkward. Holding babies always made R’wign uncomfortable. What if he accidentally slipped and dropped the kid on his head? Cezine would come back from the dead to rip him a new one, then drag him to death with her. The thought was half-amusing, but - but he stared at Calerin nervously, then glanced at Aryna. Her fearful look amused him enough that he summoned up the courage to act. Leaning forward, he picked Calerin up and looked straight at the toddler’s face. His hands remained under the boy’s arms, holding him with his feet dangling in what was almost certainly an uncomfortable position. He held the toddler away from him, as if he was afraid of being burnt. At least it got him out of that horrible little pen but still… he didn’t know if he could - what he could - R’wign scrunched up his nose and made a face. He always made faces at Calerin, primarily because he didn’t know what else to do. Was he supposed to talk to him like an adult? He did; he was incapable of the cooing that most people did with babies. It seemed so unintelligent. Was he really going to have one of the squirming meanies of his own? At least Calerin wasn’t entirely impossible. It could’ve been worse. So many children were spoiled and would cry and fuss if they didn’t get their way on everything. He was hoping that he didn’t spoil his own as badly as them. A second Calerin he could live with. Maybe. He still wanted a girl.

Aryna’s question made him turn and instinct took over; he moved Calerin to hold him properly, propping the child up at his side as a result. In the same motion, R’wign turned around to look Aryna over skeptically, as if he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of her. He didn’t know the other brown rider at all. In fact, he barely knew her name. What little he did know was that he probably wouldn’t have gotten along with her on a personal level; aside from the fact that R’wign outwardly could get along with almost everyone, it took a lot to actually be his friend. Yes, he was personable, yes, he was pleasant, and most people didn’t realize he was also exceptionally judgmental and prone to holding grudges as a result. He wasn’t going to tell them, either. He liked that people underestimated him and took his personality to be exceptionally nice without question, or believed him to be a jokester. The less they knew about his real personality, the better. But Aryna struck him as someone who was too open. Nothing personal - he just didn’t make real friends that easily. He only considered a handful of people his friends in truth.

“I’m saying that Calerin has no family. His mother and father are both dead, and he doesn’t have anyone else to look after him,” R’wign said simply; he thought the statement blunt enough that even the most dim person could comprehend it. His gaze flicked over Aryna curiously. “Are you afraid he’ll bite you? He doesn’t; he’s actually very well-behaved for a child. Considering I don’t do babies, it’s remarkable how well I get along with him. You can stop backing away as if he’s got something infectious, it just makes you look ridiculous.”

His words made him realize that he was holding Calerin in a very normal posture, as if he’d done it several times before. Which… he had, but it was strange to do so without Cezine there. Crinkling his nose, R’wign turned to look down at Calerin and gently bounced him. When was the last time anyone else held the kid? Probably not often - from the looks of things, the creche staff had their hands full with other people’s screaming menaces. Being well-behaved had some disadvantages; it made him easy to overlook. Poor little guy probably got ignored a lot. Crinkling his nose, R’wign turned to glance from Aryna then back to the baby. If they were alone, he probably would have talked Calerin’s ear off… but they weren’t and Aryna was neither his friend nor associate, and therefore, she wasn’t someone who he considered worthy of knowing his personal business. And Calerin was, somehow. He was Cezine’s son and… well, what was he going to do, judge R’wign? … laughable.

“I think he gets ignored here a lot. He’s really quiet, always has been. Easy to overlook. Cezine would probably be unhappy if she knew,” R’wign tacked on, his forehead coming down to press against Calerin’s. He felt somewhat nauseous and more than a little tense, but -- he was trying. He was. “It makes me mad that E’ri’s brats got adopted before he did…”

[boober]

Never in the history of the crèche had there been such a happy baby as when R’wign lifted Calerin off his feet. Aryna watched dubiously as the toddler dangled from the other brown rider’s hands. It really didn’t look like it was very comfortable but clearly the babe had no intentions of complaining. In fact, a small smile spread across Calerin’s face. He was used to R’wign and was always glad to see the healer, no matter how awkward he was. The smile broadened almost into a grin when R’wign began making faces at the child. It was obvious that Calerin was in no way hard to please… all he wanted was a little attention now and then. Was that really so much to ask? But he wasn’t going to throw tantrums to get it, unlike some of the brats he shared the crèche with. For now he was completely ignoring Aryna, which seemed to be an advantage. Without the child’s attention on her (although R’wign’s words probably had something to do with it as well), her obvious unwillingness to get near Calerin was dissolving into a sort of morbid fascination as R’wign held and made faces at the boy.

As far as Aryna was concerned, R’wign was the baby whisperer. She was so awkward and clumsy with babies and small children that she wasn’t just afraid of dropping them on their heads, she was absolutely certain that she would. There was no doubt in the brown rider’s mind that she would do something to inadvertently harm any small child placed in her care. It was one of the reasons that she couldn’t believe she was here, surrounded by all the orphans in the Weyr. Fortunately with Calerin distracted she could just observe for a moment. R’wign wasn’t exaggerating when he said the boy was quiet. He didn’t even laugh out loud although he was certainly grinning by now at the healer’s faces. He quickly grew sober again though when the other brown rider brought the baby in against his body, the way they were meant to be held. It didn’t happen often; in fact, the last few times he’d seen R’wign, Calerin hadn’t been picked up at all.

But he wasn’t going to complain, and rested one small, pudgy hand on R’wign’s shoulder. He lowered his head somewhat, a few stray curls falling against his face. His dark hair contrasted sharply against his pale skin and his small forehead resting against R’wign’s made a disgustingly touching picture. Aryna was still standing there watching, perhaps forgotten but not gone. In any other situation, some of what the healer had said to her would have been met with unpleasantness, but at this point she really didn’t care. Maybe it was exaggerated a bit but she wasn’t afraid to admit that she was actually intimidated by babies. They were just… so tiny. And defenseless, and needy. It was terrifying to Aryna for reasons she couldn’t really explain, and the biggest reason as to why she didn’t have any children of her own and planned to keep it that way. She couldn’t remember ever being so dependent on someone, even if it was far more realistic to assume that she had in fact been helpless and reliant on someone else at one point in her life.

“May I hold him?” It was perhaps the politest sentence that Aryna had ever uttered and it had clearly caught her off-guard. Wait, what? But before she could take it back, Calerin was looking at her and suddenly being handed off to her. So she reached out and took him, tentatively, under the arms. Much as R’wign had done at first, she held the toddler out away from her as if she expected him to do something disgusting and cover her in filth at any second. Calerin simply stared back at her almost expectantly, dangling from her hands almost like a doll. The first thought that entered her mind was surprise: Calerin was much heavier than she’d expected him to be. Someone so small shouldn’t weigh so much! Blinking at him, she stared for a moment before quirking an eyebrow. “Faranth, kid, what do they feed you down here? Rocks?” Whether it was serious or not, Aryna was actually rewarded with one of Calerin’s slow smiles. Strange lady made a funny! But even if she wanted to Aryna couldn’t hold him like that forever; it was either give him some support or set him down, and she wasn’t sure she could set Calerin down even if she wanted to.

So, very gingerly and rather awkwardly, Aryna actually brought the little boy against her and slid her arms around him for support. He didn’t seem to mind, and latched onto her like he was as familiar with her as R’wign. At first Aryna resisted the sudden urge to shake him off, tensing visibly. But after a moment or two she relaxed, at least enough to where she didn’t look like she was made of wood. As a result the toddler in her arms relaxed a little too, although he looked over at R’wign as if to ask what exactly was going on. Who was this person again, and why was she holding him?

[glamourie]

It really did make him mad that the twins got people to look after them before Calerin did. Not that he had anything against E’ri’s older children - far from. No doubt Cezine would have been pleased that they had someone to look after them. But Calerin was someone he cared about. He might have even considered adopting the weyrbrat, if not for Meira’s pregnancy. He’d toyed with the idea for awhile as a weyrling, but when Meira became pregnant, the idea was all but nixed; he was focusing a lot more on the fact that he was… well, going to be a father himself. It would not have been fair to Calerin or his own child to adopt him after that. Had Meira not become pregnant, would he have taken in the boy? Probably; he would’ve come around to the idea. He almost had as it was. But -- he was selfish, inherently so. He was going to have a child of his own, his own flesh and blood, and it would need his attention, his focus. Yes, Calerin came potty-trained, but it was his fault that Meira was pregnant in the first place, and he owed it to her to do his best by their child… and, part of him was looking forward to the idea of a little Meira-R’wign hybrid running around. He was starting to get excited by the prospect of… of being a father. So strange.

Her request to hold Calerin made him blink, but R’wign casually handed the baby off, and instantly felt strange without him. Was that how it would be when his own was born? Possibly. No, probably. He liked Calerin well enough, but the boy wasn’t his, and everyone told him that all the rules changed when the child was yours. He fidgeted, watching Aryna with Calerin when the boy looked at him and an amused look crossed over the healer’s face. And then an idea occurred to him - a mischievous, almost devilish idea, and he forcefully kept the wickedness from his face lest she guess what he was up to. He didn’t want her getting any ideas and trying to flee, not while he was… plotting. Yes, plotting. There was no other way to describe R’wign’s behavior. He could be highly devious when he wanted to, and Aryna had unintentionally walked in on that side of him… so to speak.

“Aryna, meet Calerin. Calerin… this is Aryna,” R’wign said softly, but his eyes were all on the child; he was speaking more to him than to Calerin. “Maybe if you’re really good, Aryna will come back and visit you some more. After all, you don’t have anyone else to take care of you, or even pay attention to you… I can only do so much.” He sighed, putting just enough dramatic tone to it to make it sound real -- if he played his cards right, he might be able to get Calerin someone to stay with. As far as he knew, Aryna didn’t have a weyrmate, or any children of her own. He didn’t know what pets she had either, but probably less than he had (not that it was hard to do, he was numbering nine thank you). She was a brown rider, too, which meant that no matter how gruff she acted, she probably had a good, firm understanding of responsibility beneath it all. Most brown riders did, himself included, even if he did act like a spoiled little child more often than not. R’wign liked goofing off… but when the chips were down, he showed his true colors through and through.

The comment about what he was fed made R’wign thoughtfully click his tongue. “I think he eats baby food still. I’m not sure whether Cezine got him onto solids, or just solid mush. I know she got him potty trained -- probably merciful to the creche workers, really,” he said with a shrug of his shoulder. “But I always assume when babies smile at me, it means they’re making poop and thinking of me as they do it. I don’t care what anyone says, they have a trademark grin that means exactly that and nothing else.” Except all the babies he knew were potty-trained. Kahrelir and Calerin both. They were the only babies that he knew at all… and neither of them spoke, though theoretically, both could. Personally he thought Kahrelir just couldn’t get a word in edge-wise with his overly talkative father and… after everything Calerin had gone through, it was a wonder the kid was as well-adjusted as he was. R’wign was betting in his position, he wouldn’t want to talk, either.

“I think he likes you,” R’wign added absently, with a nod toward Calerin. “Just venturing a guess there, but he seems content enough. Probably happy to have someone hold him -- I’m not too good with babies, and I’m pretty sure they ignore the well-behaved ones here for those that are not well-behaved.” He cast an awkward glance in the direction of the creche workers before turning back to Aryna. “I considered adopting him myself, you know -- when I finished Weyrling training I was going to take him in as my fosterling. I was toying with it, fighting the idea, but I would’ve done… but… well… I’m going to have one of my own soon. It seems unfair to him to take him in just to ignore him for a newborn. Worse than cruel, that…”

[boober]

Aryna stared at R’wign as he spoke and the more the healer talked the more convinced she became of what he was trying to do. Nice try, but Aryna wasn’t a deadglow. She could be a jerk, thoughtless and impulsive but she wasn’t stupid. And now every instinct she had was telling her to put the kid down and run like Faranth herself was bringing fiery wrath down on her head. It wasn’t a bad idea; in fact it was a damn good one as far as she was concerned. But for some reason the brown rider couldn’t move. Maybe it was what R’wign said about the crèche workers ignoring Calerin… maybe it was the way the baby was clinging to her almost as if his life depended on it, even though she was a complete stranger. And who knew, maybe his life did depend on it. Sure he was getting the basic essentials in the crèche: food, clothes, shelter… but what about other things? Someone to smack him and set him straight when he needed it, for example? Among other things of course.

Even as she considered what it would mean to take Calerin out of the crèche and back to her weyr with her, Aryna realized that she was scared. The prospect of raising a child had rendered her so frightened she could hardly speak. She’d held lives in her hands a few times before, but it was always more a matter of whether or not to just extinguish said lives. This was a different thing entirely. How would someone like her affect a child, especially one as young as Calerin? She wasn’t necessarily a good person; she knew this, was fine with it, but what about him? Would it really be fair to take him and teach him all the things people hated about her? Normally Aryna was an extremely confident person but babies and children were completely out of her realm of comfort. They threw her into confusion and now a headache was starting to throb in her temples as a result of too much wondering, worrying, and thinking in too short a period of time. At least that was what she was going to blame it on.

The brown rider shook her head, still looking at Calerin and getting looked back at in return. “I can’t take him.” The words were soft, almost breathless, only because she was still reeling from the whole idea.

And why not? It was all she could do not to groan aloud as her dragon’s voice filled her head. Apparently Dramuth had been listening to the conversation quite intently through his rider.

Shut up, you big brown turd! I just can’t, okay? I have you to take care of, for one thing. Aryna felt more than heard her dragon’s snort of derision.

Mine. I am not a weyrling anymore; I have not been for a long time. I do not take up even half the amount of your time that I used to. You are no longer assisting the weyrling masters; you have no duties outside of Threadfall, and—

All right! I get your point! But I’m still not taking him with me. She shook her head again, although it was more at Dramuth even though he couldn’t see it. The dragon was puzzled, she knew; he didn’t understand why she was so opposed to taking Calerin in. He knew she was afraid, but of what? He only knew His to be confident almost to the point of cockiness, and very brave. A small human hatchling couldn’t possibly be the source of the fear he was feeling from her. He thought of asking but she seemed to sense what the brown wanted to ask. I couldn’t do right by him; I know I couldn’t. I’m not meant to be a parent, Dramuth.

You can do it if you believe you can. That hadn’t been the answer that she had expected… or wanted for that matter. She’d expected him to admit that she wasn’t parent material, that any child under her care would probably end up miserable for life, at the very least. But shells, if she didn’t have her dragon backing her up in this, then who was on her side, anyway? Aryna looked over at R’wign and raised her eyebrows at him. Did he really think she could do this? He didn’t know anything about her, that’s why.

Calerin was looking at her still, and he seemed to be quite expectant. For some reason, she was less afraid now but she was getting irritated. That was usually the way it went with her; not much genuinely scared Aryna but when it did it was usually short lived, quickly replaced by irritation or even anger depending on the situation. She was still shaking her head as she experimentally loosened her grip on Calerin. His hold tightened slightly before resignedly loosening in preparation to be set down. Instead of setting him down, however, Aryna settled him into a more comfortable position. “Okay. You all win.” She couldn’t believe what she was about to say. “I’ll take him.” Technically she supposed she could always bring him back if it didn’t work… but she knew that wasn’t really an option. Not even she was heartless enough to bring him back to this place.

[glamourie]

Harumph. R’wign eyed Aryna thoughtfully, his fingers lacing together behind his back. The entire posture was innocent and meant to look harmless. See how cute he was…? He could never hurt a fly. So cute, so innocent, so sweet~ He’d never try to manipulate another brown rider, oh no. R’wign would never do anything so devious; he was incapable of ever trying to mislead or suggest anything that others might not think of on their own. He was just simply trying to get Calerin more visitors, you see. That was clearly the extent of his capacity to manipulate. He was trying to help the cute, helpless little boy - that was it. He’d never try to guilt trip someone into adopting him so that Calerin had a stable home environment without being neglected by the creche workers (no matter how well-intended they happened to be). Right. R’wign would never do anything of the sort. Just like he would never drug a greenrider into unconsciousness, write ‘FREE RIDES’ across her breasts, and then tie her up (still naked!) in the main hall for all to see. R’wign just wouldn’t do anything like that.

Cocking his head to the side, the brown rider watched Aryna. Watched. He could just see the wheels in her head turning as she processed what he was up to, from that long stare. He didn’t speak anymore, though; instead his gaze fell to Calerin, who was clinging to her pitifully. It was almost as though the child sensed exactly what was needed of him. Act cute, innocent and pathetic. No one could resist the googly eyes. Not permanently. As she spoke, he raised his eyebrows and moved over toward Aryna, as though to take Calerin from her. If she wasn’t going to take him, he would hold and console the baby. If it came down to it, maybe he could convince Kaegan to take Calerin in. The boy would be well-cared for, even if he had to start going door to door. Or… maybe Ka’rys. Hnnn. Cezine might not have liked it, but Ka’rys was good with children and he doubted the bronze rider could turn Calerin away with the boy staring him in the face. He knew Savitri couldn’t.

And then she shook her head, and R’wign froze, arms half lifted as though to remove the boy from her grip. His head cocked to the side and he glanced at Calerin inquisitively.

“Did you fart or something?”

Well, she looked frightened or at the very least unnerved. Farting was a logical jump of thought as far as R’wign was concerned. The look she gave him made him cock his head to the side and the healer raised an eyebrow right back at her, as if to ask what she was looking at him that way for. It wasn’t as if he’d said anything to her. Maybe she was adverse to being farted on or something. Hmm. Clucking his tongue thoughtfully, the brown rider turned to look at Calerin when she spoke again and --

--- heh. Heh heh heh.

Resisting the urge to smirk (that would make it obvious what he was up to and he was playing innocent), R’wign nodded slowly. “All right.” Most people would have said ‘Are you sure?’ but he wasn’t going to give her a chance to back down. He hadn’t worked up his best guilt-tripping skills just to be thwarted by some attempt at false consideration and she looked ready to bolt at the first chance she got. “Well, you’ll need his things. Cezine had a lot of very nice stuff for him - didn’t spare a mark on the kid. With him in the creche, he couldn’t really use any of them, but I think you’ll find she had everything he needs. Well. Except clothes. He’s grown a bit. You may have to get him some new clothing from the next Gather ‘round, unless you’re a weaver.” Skeptically looking Aryna over, R’wign motioned to one of the closets. “They took his bed apart, but everything of his is in the wooden boxes in there. Toys, clothes, blankets, bedding, his bed itself… I’ll go talk to one of the creche workers about you fostering him officially. Excuse me.”

Without waiting for a response, R’wign stalked off to do just that. Aryna would no doubt be busy trying to collect Calerin’s things. The kid had quite an impressive selection, too, considering Cezine spent most of her marks on him and not herself, like a goofball.

[boober]

Aryna glared after R’wign as he left, but didn’t say anything; she wasn’t fooled though. She knew he’d been trying to get her to do… well, just what she did. Hopefully he wouldn’t give himself too much credit though because if it hadn’t been for Dramuth she never would have agreed to take Calerin. Well, it was possible, but much less likely. She resisted the urge to groan. What had she gotten herself into? She was not made to be a parent, she never had been. It was the reason she always looked for an excuse to go between somewhere after a roll in the furs. At least with a guy. Odds were she was barren by now but quite frankly Aryna was too terrified of the possibility that she wasn’t to risk it. She knew that if she ever did get pregnant, Dramuth would probably refuse to carry her between to terminate the pregnancy. But she’d been determined not to let that happen and so far it worked.

But now all that trouble seemed pointless. She didn’t even want kids of her own, why in Faranth’s name was she taking someone else’s! As she looked down at Calerin though, she found it impossible to put him down, impossible to tell him she was too much of a coward to take him out of this place and at least try to give him a decent life. And the thought didn’t sit well with her. She’d escaped from Benden, made a life for herself here at Selenitas, but she was afraid of taking on a child? Put that way, it sounded pathetic even to her. Shaking her head slowly, the brown rider sighed before absently flicking an errant curl from Calerin’s face. The babe had been watching her intently with big blue eyes the whole time, as if he knew how close she’d come to setting him down and walking away. How could she leave him behind when he made such pitiful faces?

“Yeah that’s right. Looks like you’re coming with me. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He looked unsure for a moment… he didn’t really know her but surely staying with her was better than staying here. It was the slightest of hesitations before the boy nodded and made his dark curls bounce. Seeing that there was no way she could get out of this, Aryna turned and looked toward the closets that R’wign had mentioned before walking off. So all the kid’s stuff was there, was it? “How about we get your things then?” She made her way over to the closet and peered inside. How was she supposed to tell what was Calerin’s and what was junk? R’wign had said the kid had nice stuff, except clothes. Aryna figured if a green rider could afford to get him the best, then so could she and made a mental note to get him some new clothes at the first opportunity.

Fortunately it didn’t take long at all to find all of Calerin’s stuff… thanks to the fact that he quickly began to point excitedly at everything he owned. The boy never said a word but Aryna could tell just from his actions that he was happy to see his things again. Poor kid, he must not have seen his stuff in months. Eventually she had to set him down so she could use both hands to move the things quicker. So it wasn’t long before they had all of the little boy’s belongings stacked up ready to be carted off to her weyr. It was a lot of stuff for someone so small. When she finished, she realized that Calerin was looking up at something. Blinking, she followed his gaze; perched at the top of the stack was a small floppy green dragon made out of the softest material. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. Aryna reached out and picked the toy up, handing it to Calerin. He took it and hugged it to him before staring down at it as if in disbelief.

Aryna didn’t know it, but the toy was an almost exact replica of Brennath, his mother’s dragon. Somewhere in his things there was also a blue one made in much the same fashion: Bazeth. Calerin bowed his head until his hair all but hid his face as he picked lightly at the toy green’s wings. He missed his parents, and any fool with a thought in his head would know that. Still Aryna was taken aback and panicked a bit; what would she do if he started crying? She wasn’t comforted much when he looked up and there were tears in his eyes. Before she could even begin to think of what to do, Calerin stepped forward and buried his face against her leg, reaching up with small hands to grasp her shirt and cling tightly.

Awkward. But to her credit Aryna didn’t step away or brush him off; in fact, she reached down and smoothed his curls back in a manner that was presumably meant to be comforting but was really just… well, awkward. But she would get better at the mommy stuff; she would have to. Glancing over at the stack of Calerin’s things, the brown rider was hoping that someone intended to come help; there was no way she was carrying all that junk by herself.

[glamourie]

It didn’t take long to get the permission for Aryna to take Calerin home. The creche staff, being over-run with orphans as they were, was happy to see one of them be fostered out. The fact that Aryna was a brown rider with no extra responsibilities and no children of her own made it a pleasant surprise for them as well and R’wign was actually alarmed by the magnitude of delight that the workers offered him. Some even offered to enlist a few drudges to help carry Calerin’s things (all of which, if R’wign remembered correctly, appeared to be far too much for a mere baby), and R’wign casually made sure to let them know that if Aryna needed it, she’d ask. Once he was sure that everyone was clear of where Calerin was going (and the records were changed to accommodate his move), the healer turned on his heel and sauntered (for there was no other way to describe the languid, lazy way he walked, almost as if he owned Pern itself -- he knew from beyond, Cezine would be pleased with him at finding her son a decent place to live) back out to the nursery where the babies were screaming, crying, playing and otherwise doing what children did… and reminding him of why he did not like very many of them until they were old enough to be amusing to him. He hoped that feeling went away by the time his own child was born, otherwise it would be a severe problem… but then, maybe his kid would be an exception. Maybe.

The healer wandered up behind Aryna and paused, briefly, before looking down at Calerin. “Kiddo, you have way too much crap,” he said with an amused look, before glancing up at Aryna. His eyebrow raised slightly, emphasizing his amusement. Hopefully she knew how to put half of those things together. He didn’t know a thing about cribs and the procedure for compiling them. He probably could’ve constructed one just fine if he tried, but -- he hadn’t tried before and he had very little desire to help Aryna do so. He could get his learning experience in with his own spawn. Much more fulfilling that way anyway. “I’ve got things straightened out. The creche staff knows where Calerin’s going, they’re happy to hear he’s got somewhere to live now. They asked me to remind you that if you want a family weyr, you will have to talk to Senior Weyrwoman Kaegan or Senior Weyrleader K’roi about changing your location, and should do so soon in that instance.”

Kneeling down, R’wign held his hands out to Calerin, so that the toddler could come to him if he felt so inclined. He wanted to get used to holding babies. Calerin was approaching three, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a great practice experience. He was. Much better than trying to hold any of the ornery brats that called themselves children in the other cribs and playpens. They all just made him want to wear tighter pants, and about fifty belts, just so that it was too inconvenient to even bother with the process of making one. R’wign, not fond of children…? News flaaaaash. Although, in his defense, he only disliked the loud and messy ones. It wasn’t his fault that most babies just happened to fill those quotas. He could even handle it if it was one or the other -- but children were usually both, exasperatingly enough. Calerin wasn’t, though. Calerin was the only child he deemed bearable… after Kahrelir, who was flat out mute and therefore didn’t count.

“I can carry him if you need help carrying that stuff,” R’wign added absently. He was not about to try and lug the thousands of things Cezine spoiled her kid with. He’d rather tote the child, he weighed less. Besides that, he had a feeling Calerin would be more comfortable with him, at least for now. Then he wouldn’t feel totally abandoned. “On the subject of stuff -- do you have any fire lizards or anything like that? Cezine had two, which is why I ask. I think he’s used to having them around. I’m pretty sure that at least one of my blues checks in on him from time to time -” He meant Collision, oddly enough, “- which also might be bad if you’ve got some, since not all fire lizards like their space invaded…”