Night Shifty Eyes (G'tor

[dragon]

She was frustrated and bored ... not to mention still stressed out and hollow feeling. Her chest felt like half her organs had been excavated and removed. Losing a flitter was hard enough on a body ... she'd done that before, sadly enough. But no one had prepared her for what it was like to lose a 'mandyr. Much less a mandyr and a flitter at the same time. Dorava still randomly burst into tears over the loss of Valiant. Between him and Mandyr, she was just miserable.

And mad.

Valiant had had a rough life of it ... it was probably a mercy to him that he was finally gone. The stress of so many dragons being killed had proven too much for his damaged system, and he'd simply ... stopped. As if the shock of an attack at an insane hour of the morning hadn't been enough, losing Valiant so suddenly and unexpectedly had left her practically useless. Not long after that, some random dragon happened to stomp around wherever it was that Mandyr had just happened to be sleeping through the attack. The fat f'lizard just ... slept through everything. And for it she got stepped on and squished out like so much jelly.

Love, however, was still around, thank goodness. Though the little green mandyr had yet to leave Dorava's breastband ever since that awful morning.

Dorava wanted to do something. Something useful. Something to end this madness. Something to return her home to the way it was. But she couldn't even think of an appropriate excuse to go talk to anyone at all. Anyone. So she sat, and stared out the opening of her Weyr, over Aonith's back. The green was lounging on the ledge ... or at least appearing to. Mostly to keep suspicion that she was up to anything abated. That, and to also keep an eye on the canyon too. Just in case anything else went down, she'd see it happen.

Things were oddly peaceful for the moment though. So long as everyone was where they were supposed to be, and did as they were told. Dorava had no idea how long that was going to last. Idly she stroked her shirt where Love was hiding. If someone were to happen to see her do that and not know there was a critter in there... it would be quite the odd sight to see indeed.

Then a random thought occurred to her when she randomly looked over at her furs and saw her folded shift laying there. Her shift! Someone had her shift. Not that one of course, but her other one. Someone ... who had it? Dorava thought hard, trying to remember who it was that she had given it too. It was a brownrider, she was pretty sure... but if she could remember who had it, that was plenty an excuse enough to go see someone. Talk to them ... under the cover of retrieving her wardrobe. These invaders didn't need to know how many months had passed since she'd technically 'lost' the thing.

I believe that it's Ruskeath's you're trying to remember. Aonith offered quietly from the ledge.

Dorava pulled a face. "How come you're the green and I'm the one that can't remember what I ate yesterday?"

Aonith rolled her head over and looked inside at her rider. You expect me to know the answer to that?

Dorava shrugged, and got to her feet. "I am going to go visiting. You be good."

I'm not the one prone to starting things. Why are you telling me this?[/color]

"Ha ha. Thanks for the vote of confidence." Dorava answered, before stepping through her door and closing it behind her. For a moment she just stood there, before inhaling slowly and making tracks down the hall. 'Be casual' was so hard when one's nerves were shot. Acting nervous was a good way to get cornered. But ... by the first egg how was a body supposed to be calm and nonchalant when the world was upside down?

Remarkably she made it to the chosen door without any mishaps. Balling up a fist she hesitated, and then knocked. Hopefully G'tor would be in. She didn't really know him at all ... but getting to talk to anyone without strangers breathing down her neck would be a relief. Not that she really had any ideas on what she could talk to him about.

[Rowana]

A knock on the door made G'tor look up from his desk. With all the changes going on, he supposed he should feel glad that had let him and Mi'rah keep their positions. Part of him wished they had assigned someone else. Then at least they could torture them with all this work. Still, G'tor was relieved and that the violence had stopped after the initial attack. Hopefully they would all be able to calm down, but it would take time. Maybe he was too easy going, but he just wanted to things back to normal around the weyr.

Getting up, G'tor headed for the door. Ranchan trilled happily and fluttered up to claim G'tor's shoulder before Tervain could. The older green glared at the young one. She was still tiny, but looking quite plump. Ranchan ignored her. She wanted to see who was here and she certainly wasn't going to fly when this was a perfectly good ride. Rolling his eyes at them, G'tor opened his door.

"Dorova?" G'tor's voice was confused. True, she was on his wing, but he couldn't think why she was coming to see him. They'd never been all that close. Ruskeath had chased her green a few times, but he'd never won. He looked her over in concern. She didn't look entirely well, but none of them really did these days. "Is everything alright?"

[dragon]

Dorava offered a small smile when G'tor opened his door. "Hi." She answered, grateful that he'd actually answered. Instead of sat there and stared at the door in mute horror ... like she might have done had someone come to her door. But, of course, he was not only male, but a ranking one. So ... yeah. Guys tended to handle stuff differently. "Can ... can I come in?" She asked tentatively.

At the sound of a semi-familiar voice that hearkened from semi-happier days, Love offered a quiet cheep. Blushing slightly, Dorava covered the spot. It was always so embarrassing when her boobs started talking, after all. That was one thing that she wished Love did like Valiant had .. the least she could do was poke her head out before she started talking.

"Um ... as alright as things can be considering the circumstances...?" She offered in answer to his question. An innocuous answer, right? Nothing she'd get beheaded for if one of the invaders happened to overhear her saying it? But one never knew ... she'd overheard a few of them talking, and wow. She hadn't known people came in that particular flavor of stupid.

[Rowana]

G'tor looked embarrassed. "Of course, please," he said quickly. He hadn't meant to be rude and keep her standing there. Pulling the door further open, he stepped aside so she could come in before he closed it. The noise from her chest made him look automatically. He looked back up quickly, turning a little pink. "Um, that's good," he answered quickly, hoping she hadn't noticed.

Ranchan was fascinated and did a hop over to Dorova's shoulder to get a better look at Love's hiding place. She chirped curiously at the salamandyr. Was it fun down there? But it must be so hard to see! Tervain claimed G'tor's vacated shoulder while the man glared at his latest charge. Ranchan ignored him. "Please don't mind her," G'tor said apologetically. "What did you need?" He was very curious to here why she had come now, of all times.

[dragon]

Dorava merely nodded, and stepped through, grateful to be inside and out of the hall. Faranth, it was a sick feeling to so fear the hallways of one's own home. She felt like things had just descended to a level lower than Benden had been ... there she knew who she could trust; no one. Here, she had no clue. She didn't want to drop back to a level of not trusting anyone again. It was a terrible and stressful way to live. Breathing a little easier after the door closed, she took a quick glance around to make sure there was no one else around.

"Well ... I suppose ... my excuse to be coming over here in case anyone asks, is ... well ... I ..." she blushed a bit harder then, before clearing it a bit by inhaling more air. "I loaned you my nightgown, do you remember...?" He probably didn't, and really ... she would be so very surprised if he even still had it. "But, that's just my cover. I really just ... I wanted to talk to someone. Someone ... not them. I ... " She breathed a slow sigh. "I can't even think straight. I ... I ... lost ... oh, Faranth. I'm sorry. I just ... I can't think straight. I wanted ..."

She was fixing to cry again ... she didn't need that. No. Tears. No ... Tears. No - no ... it would help if she got her mind off the hole in her mind. Off of her lost pets. What had essentially been her family. Oh, she was such an idiot. "I'm ... sorry." Dorava scrubbed her face fiercely, trying to both compose herself again and conceal her face for a moment. Straightening, she blinked and looked over at him again and offered a small, tentative smile. "I need someone to talk to."

[Rowana]

G'tor blinked at Dorova blankly. "You're...nightgown," he repeated slowly. He couldn't recall ever having a need to borrow something like that. He couldn't even recall talking that much to Dorova before, much less ask for women's clothing. Unless during one of Aonith's flights something had happened. "I can look," he said sheepishly. "I might have it around here somewhere." She hadn't come here for that, though, as was clearly obvious.

G'tor put a calm hand on the woman's shoulder, hoping she would take the gesture as a comfort like he intended. "Calm down," he tried to speak in a soothing voice, but he hadn't had much practice. Ranchan purred loudly from Dorova's shoulder in her own attempt to cheer her. "I can't claim to be the best person to talk to," he admitted, a little embarrassed. "But I promise you're safe here and I'll listen. Would you like to sit?" He gestured to the chair he'd just left. At least if she was sitting, he wouldn't have to worry about her falling over. She really did seem very upset, close to tears even.

[dragon]

Dorava waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. I didn't come here actually expecting to get it back ... it was just ... an excuse ... " She trailed off, and blew a slow sigh, before shrugging again. "Don't bother. I have a new one already." Faranth have mercy, she hadn't intended to fluster the man over it either. Really ... she probably should have thought of that. But that also would have been so unlike her, too. To think before speaking ... her bane, her mouth was. There was no filter between thoughts and tongue, apparently. Oof.

She smiled hesitantly before nodding jerkily. "Sit... right. Um ... okay." She agreed, looking around for the place he intended for her to use. Obediently, she took the place, settling to a lower altitude that was closer to the floor ... oh. The seat was warm. Interesting. Dorava scratched the side of her nose absently, and then reached over to stroke the green on her shoulder. "Hi." she offered, with a small smile.

"I really appreciate that. I do... I just ... I don't know who I can talk to anymore. I mean ... " Yeah, it was worse than she was willing to admit. She'd been second guessing her notions on people ever since Sel'n had gone and spilled her bean to the very person she hadn't wanted to know it... deliberately. And that was before the takeover. Now? It was just worse. Dorava looked around a moment, slowly inhaled, and let out another shaky sigh. "I ... I lost ... they're gone." She looked up at G'tor. "Val ... he just ... quit ... I .... I don't know ... he just ..." She made empty gestures, unable to stop the tear from tracing a line down her cheek to her chin. "In the middle of everything. He just ... stopped. Right there in my pocket. And then right after that ..." She still couldn't believe Mandyr's impossible bad luck of being in just the right place to get stepped on. Seriously ... what were the odds of that? In the same hour?!

"And ... and ... then all the rest of it." She gestured at the walls in vague everythingness. "I don't know what we're doing. I mean ... are we really just going to cave to them? Or is there something we can do about it?" She asked, on a failing note of despair. "I don't know what to do. I can't ... I can't think. I don't know what to think. They're gone, everything is upside down ..." Dorava laced her fingers together to keep her hands still in her lap, and she just looked at G'tor. It was probably quite stupid of her to think that G'tor had any answers. But ... maybe? Maybe he knew something she didn't? Not that she expected to be let in on anything like that either ... she had this horrible habit of ruining stuff totally by accident. Which she was quite aware of.

[Rowana]

G'tor smiled briefly. It was a good thing Dorova had a new one now, because that flight had been months ago. He wasn't sure he wanted to imagine what she'd been doing without a nightgown all this time. Still, he slept without any clothes sometimes, so why shouldn't she if she wanted to? That wasn't important now anyway. At least Dorova was now sitting, which seemed to help. Ranchan was purring non stop and acting her quite friendly. G'tor was grateful for that. Tervain was more like to growl and bite people and Star just ran away. It was nice to have a fire lizard who liked to socialize.

Leaning against the desk, the brownrider listened quietly to his guest. He didn't dare interrupt for fear she might not be able to get it all out. He knew it was important to voice certain things before they bottled up inside, especially with times as stressful as they were now. As she talked, he slowly understood. He'd never lost any of his bonded pets before, but he could only imagine the pain she must be feeling.

"Dorova," he said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder again. "I am so sorry." It was small consolation, he was sure, but what else could he say. "I'm sure Val would have stay with you if he could. I know it hurts, but he was happy with you. You need to remember that." Hopefully it wouldn't always hurt so bad. Losing a salamandyr or even a fire lizard wasn't like loosing a canine or a feline. The pain went far deeper, but the memories were also stronger as well.

"As for the rest," he continued with a sigh. "I don't know what I can tell you. Kaegan didn't give in willingly, but it's this or lose half our people. No one wants any more violence than we've already had. Thread still falls, no matter who is in charge. For now, we just need things to keep running or the whole Weyr will fall apart from the tension." He offered her a wry smile. "Try not to worry, I'm sure it'll all work out in the end." Yeah, he was an optimist, but he liked thinking that way.

[dragon]

Dorava pulled the green flitter down off her shoulder, and hugged the little beast before releasing her to a more gentle hold and scratching her gratefully. Mandyr hadn't been the most responsive or even wakeful of pets. But Dorava missed her anyway. "You're a little sweetie aren't you?" She told the little green, before scritching her between her knobs with a finger. She offered G'tor a small smile. "What's her name?"

She was glad that he hadn't interrupted her tumbling spill of words, even though it hadn't hardly made any sense, of that she was more than sure. She barely made sense on her good days. Now? She was just a wreck. But Dorava did manage to sort of pull together a small effort of a smile. "He ... he was." She agreed, with a small sigh. "He was adorable. If shy. A real sweetie. Not like most 'mandyrs, you know?"

She hugged his flitter again. Hugs were so scarce these days ... but then, when had they not been scarce? "So we're just going to bend over and take it then?" Why did that sound so familiar and foreboding? Dorava wished she had G'tor's insight and optimism. But turns of being stomped on had kind of ruined that for her. She heaved a slow sigh, and nodded, though. "I can follow orders." No way was she going to breathe a word to these people about the training she'd been doing with Aonith though. They didn't need to know she could dragon-dive ... or that Aonith could between without her aboard. Their little secret. A card in the sleeve as it were. They didn't need to know that. "Thank you, G'tor ... I appreciate the help. I really do."

[Rowana]

Ranchan continued to purr, rolling over in Dorova's hold so the woman could scratch her belly. It was so nice to be the center of attention. This woman was nice, and so gentle too. G'tor smiled, relieved that his fire lizard was helping his guest to relax. Looked like it was good she had chosen him after all, even if Star still hated her. "She's Ranchan," G'tor answer the question. "One of the wild clutch Erilena found not long ago." He nodded slowly. "Val was a wonderful mandyr," he agreed gently. "The memories won't always be as painful as they are now."

Leaning back, G'tor glanced up to the ceiling lost in thought. "I wish I could tell you more," he sighed. He wasn't exactly in the know himself. The wastelanders weren't that forth coming with their plans. "Someday it may be time for action, we just need to be ready." He was relieved that Dorova had agreed to accept the situation for now. He didn't want more violence just now. At least she was on his wing and he'd be able to watch out for her. He was just sorry he couldn't have them all on his wing. "Anytime, Dorova," he smiled again.

[dragon]

Dorava obligingly scratched Ranchan's belly. "Ranchan." She repeated, thoughtfully. "That's an interesting name. She is sweet, though." The barest hint of a small smile twitched the corner of her mouth as she spoiled the flitter's hide completely with attention. "Wild, huh? You're not too old then, are you?" She asked, talking more to the flitter than to G'tor. She didn't mention Val again, mostly to try and let the sting of his loss fade. It never really truly went away, but there were times she could pretend that he wasn't gone. At least externally. It was like a crippling injury ... it never stopped hurting, but eventually a body learned to deal with the pain.

She looked up at him when he spoke of the affairs of the Weyr. Dorava tilted her head to one side a bit, completely understanding. "I will be ready." She promised. "I can't imagine how difficult it must be ... to be where you are. Trapped, between them and the rest of us." Mi'rah and G'tor had both somehow managed to keep their positions. How or why, she didn't understand. But she was pretty sure the pressure on them was great. The Wastelanders would be watching them more closely than anyone else, she was pretty sure.

A more substantial flicker of a smile crossed her features, in response to his own. "Maybe next time I come calling, I won't be a basket case about it." She said, wryly.

[Rowana]

Ranchan trilled happily for Dorova. Her plump belly felt good when it was rubbed and it was nice to have such attentive company. G'tor smiled at the picture they made. He knew Dorova would never get over the loss of her own, but maybe this would help the healing along. "She's spoiled too," he commented with a chuckle. Tervain snorted in agreement from his shoulder.

G'tor ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Politics were the main reason he and Mi'rah were where they were right now. It forced him into difficult compromises and confrontations. Even so, he had agreed because it was the best way to keep peace for now. Sometimes he did wish it hadn't been him. Politics and ambition had never been strong suites of his. "I knew it would be hard when I took the job," he agreed with a grim smile. "At least this way I can watch out for everyone."

"Can't say I won't be sorry for another visit either," he went in a brighter tone. "Don't go thinking you need an excuse." He winked jokingly. The night gown had been a flimsy excuse at best, and she was bound to run short of those before long.

[dragon]

Dorava smiled, and patted the green's tummy a bit before turning her back upright again and rubbing down along both sides of the ridges with her fingertips. "Ah, but spoiled pets are the best kind. So lovable." Especially when you were the lonely sort, loved company, and had nothing better to do. Getting rubbed on and loved on by one's pets often put off looming insanity and boredom. Quite comforting to know that something loved you, after all. Hugging the flitter again, she looked up at G'tor and smiled again.

Yes, she missed Valiant and Mandyr both. But for right now? She would be alright. So long as she didn't think about them. Thinking about them made her miss them, missing them made her want to cry. Dorava hated crying, even if it was a healthy reaction to heartbreak.

Her expression ran blank for a moment as she thought about what he said. "You mean they gave you an option?" Now this was surprising news. Not something she would have expected of an invading force. Usually it was 'Do this or else', while waving a knife around. Or a dragon. "I am grateful, though ... to have things remain as same as they have." She wasn't sure how she would have handled all this loss and upheaval, and getting a new superior thrust at her that she didn't know and would make unpredictable demands of her new wing.

Not sorry for another visit... Dorava smiled hesitantly. "Okay. No excuses huh?" She laughed lightly, and shrugged, looking at Ranchan for a moment before looking up at him again. "I'll remember that." She smiled slightly again. Though, it was hard for her to follow up on things like that. Mostly because she really hated intruding ... or possibly intruding ... interrupting ... being a nuisance. Things like that. "I like company, myself." She said, finally.

[Rowana]

G'tor nodded absently. "It wasn't much of a choice," he admitted. As the only Selenitas bronzerider left, Mi'rah basically either had to submit or be killed. Letting him keep his wing had probably been the best way both to control him and keep other Selenitas riders in line. G'tor's choice to stay had mostly been born of his desire to keep the other man alive. Losing his friends wasn't something he took easily. He didn't want it to happen again, even if it put him in the line of fire.

He smiled at Dorova gratefully. It was nice that someone saw how difficult this was and not think he was just giving in to the new authority. Good thing he didn't have much of a temper. "I do what I can," he agreed. "I'm glad they let us keep most of you." It made transitions much easier and smoother and he didn't have to worry about too many strangers on his wing. He did feel a bit sorry for those put on Ja'kin's wing though. In some ways, maybe it would have been better to divide them up more. That wasn't his department, however.

"Don't know if I'm the best company," G'tor chuckled lightly. He would have thought one of the other female riders would have been first on Dorova's choices. In his experience, women tended to flock together. "But it feels lonely around the weyr these days. I don't mind." He waved at his room dramatically. "Just me, Rusk and the little ladies anyway."

[dragon]

Dorava nodded. "I figure we all do what we can." She agreed. Though maybe it was not enough. But what was? Killing themselves trying to do more wouldn't garner them anything, now would it? Really, there was nothing good about the whole situation. "Do you ... do you think the others got out? I mean, really got out? Not got somewhere and then got killed?" She asked. She couldn't even begin to think what they would do out there if they had managed to successfully escape. Escape, she suspected, was the easy part of their side. They were now out there with no resources, no tithes, no shelter, nothing. What would a bunch of dragons and people do out there? How would they feed everyone? And then there was thread...

Dorava couldn't help but laugh a little bit wryly. "Who is the best of company, G'tor? Really ... we're all pretty much at our wits end. Everyone is stressed to the t." She shrugged. "I mean... I was about ready to fall apart at the seams not half a candlemark ago." She rearranged Ranchan's wings and smoothed them down along the greens back, just in a twitchy, reflexive, must-do-something gesture. Looking up at him again, she tilted her head to the side just a little bit. "Why don't you sit, too? I am sure you're as tired as everyone else." Or ... maybe he was just more comfortable on his feet. Some people were like that.