Better late than never [F'ur]

[rii]

F'lix relaxed, not realizing he had tensed up, and he settled more easily against F'ur's side. The other hand came over to join the first, together starting at the base of F'ur's neck and slowly working down the man's back. The warm skin beneath his hands gave him something to focus on–as well as an excuse to be close, to touch. Not that he should need a reason other than wanting to be near.

His foot twitched at first contact, almost as if ticklish–similar enough to the initial reaction of having his hand held. He wiggled the digit under F'ur's touch, at least until the ex-Fortian spoke. F'lix hands paused in their progress, idling in the subtle inward curve of back. Still here, yes. F'lix casually circled both thumbs firmly into muscle while a mild brooding expression took over. A dozen pitiful thoughts darted through his mind first, his voice refusing to vocalize them. Was he not suppose to be there? After a moment he shrugged, "As long as I am welcome to stay."

The attention returned to F'ur's neck, sliding up along skin and momentarily threading into the man's hair before retreating back down. F'lix could be as affection as the next person, perhaps even more so, but for the most part the option before him was an entirely new one. A lopsided grin stretched along his lips regarding the skirt comment. His head canted to one side as he lightly teased. "But a dress is okay?" He squeezed F'ur's shoulders, hopefully conveying the message that he just playing, not picking a fight.

F'lix listened thoughtfully, then shifted his gaze away as F'ur rolled onto his side. It had been much easier to touch and be close when he didn't have eyes on him. Hands slipped away to settle in his own lap while F'lix flicked a curious glance at the ex-Fortian; quickly shifting line of sight to the room–looking honestly thoughtful to F'ur's words. Most people likely would have brushed the idea aside and make fun of the older bluerider, joke that he should just flounce around in a colorful dress.

"Maybe something like a sleeveless.. vest styled duster of sorts.. made of leather? Knee length or a bit more.. from the waist segmented into four sections.. weighted hems.." Yes, he could see it in his head, but translating the image into words eluded him. F'lix head began to turn about looking for where in the disorderly room a sheet of paper might be hidden. His fingertips on his left hand brushed against his thumb as he decided he could likely draw a visual aid. "An.. open styled.. long tunic that could be worn over regular clothes.."

F'lix could feel the heat starting to rise up in his face, but did his best to push the feelings aside. He questioned whether or not he was being helpful, or just amusing. "Or a wide-legged pants. Seen that before, when at a stand still it looks like a long skirt.." Another peeking glance at the ex-Fortian. "Your fan's seem to detract from the legs well enough. I know I wasn't paying much mind, if at all, to your feet."

Of course, he always seemed to become distracted around F'ur regardless for an entirely different reason, so maybe his opinion wasn't the best. As he reflected on the moment he still thought anyone would have a hard time paying attention to legs. A hand came up, running fingers through the raven black strands at the back of his head. "I don't know.. what did you have in mind that involved hiding your leg movement?"

[Requiem]

F'ur wasn't oblivious to the stillness at his almost playful comment. Sensitive, wasn't he? The older bluerider wasn't much of a one for paying lip service, though - possibly because he wore so many masks from day-to-day the value of words was rather small for him (though that was true for most men as active as F'ur) - and he let the moment pass. F'lix would learn to trust him eventually, or they'd both move on. No sense trying to force F'lix to accept that he liked having the ex-Bendenite around.

He snorted mildly at the younger man's response to his skirt comment. And...didn't respond otherwise. F'ur was impulsive and often got odd ideas that he wished to try out, but he didn't tend to be completely out there. If it didn't serve a practical purpose, it wasn't meant to be used on a regular basis. And he was seriously considering something to better conceal the movement of his legs indefinitely. It was one of the reasons he tended to wear looser clothing anyway...because it helped distort the timing, which was important for two well-trained fighters facing off. Things happened so fast then that reacting just a second too slow or fast made all the difference. Anything that could increase his advantage was good.

It was pleasing that F'lix was apparently taking him seriously. Quite pleasing. That happened...rather rarely, in his experience. Most of that was most decidedly his own fault, but still. He considered the suggestions just as seriously as F'lix presented them, tugging lightly at the furs beneath him with his fingers. "Mmm." His hand brushed the other man's leg, a slight smirk twitching on his lips at the blush. What was that blush about, eh? "I don't know about leather...tends to be pretty stiff." Not necessarily a problem to move in, but it probably wouldn't be supple enough to mask his movements as much as he would like.

"I like the concept, though. With something lighter than leather." He gripped F'lix's knee. "See? Without you I'd be forced to be normal. Such a bore." F'ur was already trying to figure out where he could acquire this 'long tunic' of sorts. It would probably end up being one of those long, formal shifts women wore, tailored to suit him. They simply didn't make anything that long for men. A shame, really. There was nothing he would call particularly feminine about long clothing, in his opinion, other than the fact that only females seemed to wear it. Social conditioning. Tch. If it made sense, do it, yeah?

"You've got the idea," he stated, almost kindly. Why was F'lix so nervous? He squeezed his knee once and released it. "Inocenth should be waking here soon," he commented, the words not really meant for his company. Or anyone in particular really. He scrunched his nose.

[rii]

The nervousness waned and F'lix let his gaze wander back to the older bluerider. "Mm.. no," he softly agreed. "Leather won't work." Wouldn't flow right with F'ur's movements. Too rough, choppy. Anything that dragged or got in the way too often would not serve the purpose. F'lix gave a curt, decided nod to the unvoiced thoughts in his head. "Lighter fabric, weighted hems."

Touching his knee spurred F'lix to shift, turning to more properly face F'ur. F'lix couldn't help his finicky reactions about his hands and feet. The former more so. His hands were vastly important to his range of skills, his livelihood. On some level he knew F'ur wasn't going to hurt him, but in the corner of his mind the voice of doubt sat patiently waiting to smile and purr 'I told you so'.

An amused snort sounded as F'lix smiled down at F'ur. The younger didn't comment. Instead silently leaning forward, arching his back to bring his forehead down to lightly press against the side of F'ur's. One hand brushed along the other man's jawline. Maybe F'lix shouldn't encourage such antics–if they could even be called that. F'lix could see a reason behind masking the movements of the legs. In his opinion, F'ur merely added a certain.. flair to the method. It seemed normal enough – for F'ur.

Just as sudden as he made the contact, F'lix pulled back and stood from the bed. He honestly didn't trust himself that close to F'ur. Sooner rather than later his hands were not going to keep politely to himself. "Is that a bad thing?" The question concerning Inocenth came out as F'lix padded away, making a circle around the torn sheet. Hands were clasp at the small of his back and his eyes were downcast to examine the fabric. He paused, glancing over his shoulder at the bed before fully turning around on heel.

"The idea, yes, but I meant more specifically," He shrugged to suggest it wasn't important. F'lix liked details, part of his curious nature. Using his foot he lifted the sheet up to his hand, gave it a quick cleaning snap before stretching it between both arms. One foot pushed forward on the fabric. "I guess you wouldn't really know though, since this is new–I assume– so you'd have to learn what can be done without getting it.. " He kicked his foot, the sheet wrapping momentarily around the limb in that short movement–more hindrance than use. "Tangled."

Another shrug as F'lix began to fold the sheet. Not one to throw something aside as total waste. He laid it over his arm, free hand coming up to rub the side of his head in a nervous gesture. "Just trying to think what would go more with.. whatever you were visualizing."

[Requiem]

F'ur's posture remained relaxed, only his eyes following F'lix closely as the man brushed his forehead against him, the light touch of fingers along the ex-Fortian's jaw eliciting a flicker of confusion behind his eyes. He wasn't sure what the other was doing, and his hand came up, seeking to draw the younger man closer to him, only F'lix was already up and moving and he only succeeded in brushing his fingertips along the other bluerider's arm. His eyes half-lidded as he watched F'lix...fidget...with the sheet. That was really the best word for it. F'ur was almost certain that F'lix was trying very hard to concentrate on that sheet. Too hard.

"Yes, that would be a concern. There will be issues to work through, as always," he commented, though it was clear his focus wasn't really on the question of how to conceal his legs anymore. He was watching F'lix's face closely. Between the backrub and that odd...affectionate gesture that he didn't really have a term for...he was beginning to think that the younger man wanted to be close. Which definitely was fine with F'ur. But then, why was he retreating? The older man couldn't be certain, though there was definitely a way to test it.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and rose, stretching languidly. The kid's hands were certainly good; most of his aches had vanished. Stepping forward, he gently plucked the sheet off of F'lix's arm, moving to place it on the countertop before collecting the limp Terror and slipping the mandyr into his pocket. Might keep him from freaking out the moment he awoke. Maybe.

F'ur stepped up behind F'lix, threading his arms around the younger man's waist and letting his head come to rest on the ex-Bendenite's shoulder. He didn't press into him, simply because he didn't want the other mistaking his intentions. F'ur merely wanted to hold him for the moment. "You keep on forgetting you were here to continue working on my leg," he murmured quietly. "Am I distracting you?" His smirk could be felt against the other bluerider's neck as he turned his head to kiss it lightly. Very lightly. Roughness seemed to be a turn-on for the ex-Bendenite, and his aim here wasn't to make the younger man hot.

He figured if he made it clear that he didn't mind affectionate gestures - welcomed them, even - the other bluerider might be more bold and less confusing. Either that or he was just seeing something where there wasn't anything because he wanted it to be that way. There was always that possibility.

[rii]

F'lix tilted his head, letting his eyes narrow in a clear, questioning suspicion. The gaze flicked away as F'ur stretched. In fact, F'lix simply turned aside to avoid catching himself eyeing the ex-Fortian. The arm extended to allow the sheet to be taken, assuming that to be part of the reason why the subject had been dismissed. Still F'lix had that moment of unease, standing in the silence and waiting for whatever F'ur had suddenly got into his mind.

Such a confusing flutter inside his chest. F'lix smiled bitterly to himself as he raised a hand to brush fingers through F'ur's hair. Lightly tugging on the occasional idle curl. He stared distantly at the far side of the room, mulling over the fact that he was a terrible player at this game–wait–F'lix eyes slitted and his face turned further away from being viewed. Why did he keep thinking it was a game? Mentally distancing himself, as usual. F'lix lightly shook his head to his own thoughts before resting the side of his head against F'ur's, fingers still absently stroking the other's dark hair.

"I didn't forget," Almost whispered, since F'ur was so near. F'lix shifted his weight, swaying so he could lift one foot and tap it on the ex-Fortian's inked one. "Your leg isn't going anywhere." The younger rider neatly tip-toed over the distracting comment. If he finished the job, he wouldn't have the excuse to come over. Apparently he needed that reason, because his feelings weren't a good enough motivation. "I came over last night to do your foot, figuring you'd sleep afterward and it would heal faster if the cuts weren't aggravated by moving around. No sense doing it in the morning."

Afraid. That had to be the caused of his slightly increased heart rate, of which had little to do with how distracting F'ur could be. It was starting to get really annoying – the fact he couldn't seem to keep himself calm. He would get a handle on it for a moment, relax, but then it would suddenly flare back up and give him the strongest impulse to leave. Why did this all bother him so. He liked F'ur, he enjoyed being close to the man, it was nice—

Realization dawned. Of course. He was always at his worst when being nice. Getting in close, being nothing less than sweet; usually after doing something cruel. At times just before. Oh Ja'kin had hated him, for some reason, but had loved messing with his head. F'lix had his feeling involved then. After Ja'kin had grown bored of him, it really was no wonder why F'lix had never wanted to be close to another person. He had thought it all was his choice – of keeping people at a distance, to having nothing more than a physical exchange of pleasure. Oh no. Now he realized just how damaged he was.

With a hand still in F'ur's hair, F'lix turned to look fully at the other man Golden eyes, darkened with his thoughts, searched F'ur's face. Not blue. Not blue. He should just save the older rider a bit of trouble, walk out of the weyr and not come back. F'lix was such a wreck on the inside. Not something F'ur should have to deal with – dealing with the mess someone else created. F'lix seemed to be more trouble than he was worth.

It just never ends, does it. Would need a lot of good memories.

"Do people usually dive head first into all this?" A quiet musing, a hint of honest curiosity behind the words, but mostly a playful jab at himself. He wouldn't know how people behaved in these particular situations. It had become clear to him that he.. couldn't shove himself into the situation and hope to instantly adapt. Rather, to fully accept the somewhat new feelings. It was proving to be a tricky switch to flick. "I just.."

F'lix quickly shook his head, dropping his hand from F'ur's hair. "Neverrmind." He flashed a smile. See? Nothing wrong. "Memories consume." Being inside his head was a very baaad place. F'lix clucked his tongue with a touch of nervous laughter. "Anyway, I can finish it now, if you don't have a lot planned today. Otherwise I can come by this evening..?" A slight pause as his gaze flicked between F'ur's eyes. "Or you could stop by when you're not busy."

[Requiem]

"Definitely not going anywhere," F'ur agreed, laughingly. Kind of hard to tell if he was still talking about his leg or not. He was placid beneath the other bluerider's touch, though that was likely more a matter of patience than anything else. F'ur didn't have a tendency of interrupting people, especially if they were acting a bit skittish. His arms did tighten a little around F'lix's waist, though, in response to the hand in his hair.

He met F'lix's eyes steadily, wondering, as he did so, what the younger man was trying to read in his. The man was tempted to nip at the tip of his nose. So serious. F'ur frowned slightly at the question. This quickly? It had been months, hadn't it? Months and months. Long months. How was that quickly? He thought the timing was most definitely slow enough, given they'd only just started actually communicating in a way that wasn't 'growl, slink, thrust, repartee, dance around the subject, etc.

F'ur was quick. That didn't mean he read people perfectly - not by a longshot - and F'lix definitely wasn't like any of his previous interests. In some ways he was less skittish...extremely aggressive, even. But in others? He'd never run into anyone he had to be so delicate with. The littlest bit of nothing seemed to be enough to send the other rider skittering off - if not physically, then into whatever hideaway he'd constructed in his mind. Complex little kitten.

All he knew was - with each suggestion - F'lix was distancing himself more and more. Do the foot now, he could come by later or...oh, when F'ur had time maybe he should swing by. "I think this one will require a few more meetings, don't you?" he murmured quietly, the arms around the other bluerider's waist drifting up and crossing his chest, gripping each shoulder and pulling the man solidly back against him. "Stop dodging, kitten." He nibbled F'lix's earlobe lightly. "I'm not the enemy. You can do part of my foot now...or wait till evening if you want, but there won't be any 'coming back.' Last time you were invited it took you a sevenday."

Excuses, circumstances, whatever. He knew the drill. He also knew that F'lix had a habit of pulling back. F'ur wasn't going to let the kid's head get in the way - and that's what it was. The bluerider was accustomed to people's heads getting in the way of what they really wanted and - in F'lix's case - needed. Because letting these memories the bluerider talked about...letting them go unchallenged was asking for trouble. And F'ur cared enough about the younger man (odd as it was to admit that so early) that he didn't want to see it fester in F'lix.

"That's another thing. No neverminds. What's just?" He urged the younger man around, stepping back but keeping his hands lightly on F'lix's biceps.

[rii]

F'lix's lips parted, but he caught his tongue before it could retort, and calmly he pressed his lips together. He had been about to question 'dodging what?'. But he knew, F'ur knew, and the question – feigned naivety at best – would only go to further demonstrate his quickness to avoid the subject. He also refrained from picking the other man's words apart, to point out he had to eventual leave and come back. Such useless nit-picking is why he hated speaking, hated talking with people who put so much effort into their words – to twisting them around and casting aside any original meaning. What was the point of talking if no one really listened.

So F'lix appreciated that F'ur was – in a way – blunt. No dancing of words, of fleeing glances and shuffling feet. Although being on his own two feet, despite the two arms around him, F'lix still felt he could get away. Some how, some way. Run, run, run. What a coward. Hn. F'lix lips twitched, but his for the most part his expression stayed stoic.

The younger only gave a split second of hesitation before he turned to face F'ur. Golden eyes once again locking on the ex-Fortian's face. A good sign, maybe, that F'lix wasn't avoiding the other man's gaze. "That obvious, hm?" Hardly a raise of tone at the end, at least not enough change to make it a true question. "Alright."

F'lix stepped forward and to the side to go past F'ur, not toward an exit, but the entrance of the bathroom. He paused in passing long enough to speak, "If you really want to know. I'll tell you." The younger rider doubted anyone really wanted to know his inner musings. Those personal, questioning, doubting.. worthless tithering sort of thoughts that he spared from abusing people's ears. "But first.." He lightly touched F'ur's hand to make sure he had the man's attention. F'lix made a wordless motion with his head toward the bed.

Into the bathroom he went, stilling by where his boots laid. F'lix reached down and.. picked up the pack he had brought over the previous night. "So I can do your foot," he added, helpfully or uselessly, whatever the case may be. He came back into the room, holding the pack by one strap and letting it hang limply down against his calf.

[Requiem]

F'ur frowned slightly, searching F'lix's face - for what, he wasn't sure. Whatever it was, he wasn't finding it, though. The bluerider visibly twitched at F'lix's response. Well...he'd been expecting something a little different. His mouth twitched into what was suspiciously close to a sneer. Yes. It was that obvious. Kind of hard to miss, really. Even had he been a good twenty turns younger. What was it exactly about F'lix's behavior that was so irritating him? Perhaps that he admitted it so flippantly....like it wasn't important that he kept on being evasive. Open, close, hot, cold, left, right. F'ur could handle a little up and down, but not when he didn't know whether they were going to end up on a mountain or in a valley. And F'lix just didn't seem to care that he was jerking F'ur around. Oh, that obvious, huh?

Shards yes it was obvious.

And now he was moving around him. The older man could have just blocked F'lix out, smiled, joked, covered the inner twitching. Shoved his hands in his pockets, the fingers of which had curled reflexively. Could have. Part of him didn't want to, though, and that part was significant enough that he just watched F'lix through half-slitted eyes. Didn't move to stop him, but stayed his ground stubbornly. Stubbornly because he really just wanted to leave right now. Nevermind that it was his weyr and F'lix should be doing the leaving. Of course, the kitt - no, too angry to think of him that way - the kid would be leaving soon enough, anyway, if F'ur did nothing to stop him.

Which he wouldn't.

The eyes narrowed even further, the suspicion behind them quite clear. People didn't move past other people to talk. And...yes. But. Got to love those buts. He didn't know what he was thinking, really. It was hardly F'lix's fault that the kid was so skittish, and he recognized that part of the anger - a significant part - was directed at himself for letting it go this far. For letting F'lix get under his skin this much. Tch. "The bed, is it? Fine." His tone was inflectionless, and flopped bonelessly down, draping his hands over his knees as the younger man disappeared into the bathing room adjoining the weyrs. He rubbed at his temple, eyes closing. Shards, he was a fool. Too old to be making mistakes like this. What was wrong with him?

"That door is blocked. It's this one that you're going to have to use." The words should have sounded bitter, but they just came out weary.

Wait, what? He glanced up, his hand still at his temple, taking in F'lix and the bag... And here was where F'lix would flee, not because he'd initially intended to, but because of F'ur's little fit of peevishness. The man entertained for a brief moment...just letting it happen. They'd just run into this again, wouldn't they? But in the end, he was too stubborn. He'd already invested too much to let the kitten walk out on him. Again. Again. "You've got to learn to communicate better," he commented dryly. F'ur gestured for F'lix to come over. Could have asked, but some of the irritation still lingered and...well, if his moods kept fluctuating, too, they'd really be in trouble, eh?

"You're good at confusing me, F'lix. I have no idea what it is I'm doing wrong. And...shardit, I want to see if we can work this, you know? Am I out to lunch? Is that what you want, or am I just someone of interest for a short while? Because...I can do that, too, but it's not the way I...it's not where I thought we were taking this."

[rii]

A good thing F'lix had partially retreated emotionally in order stop the fear-laced memories from leaking all over his mind. He didn't want to leave, to run like a coward. Stubbornly he had firmed up – closed off a bit – and resolved to face the issues head-on. Only, he wanted to get into a position of comfort, to deny himself the option to flee. Yet, as F'lix watched behind his more guarded expression, the reactions on F'ur's face, the curling of fingers. A new tension filled the air and it was not a sexual one any longer.

F'lix didn't falter, just moved on with his original chosen course of action. If he backed out now.. F'ur's palpable irritation would be enough to edge the younger rider out the door. He idled just outside the bathroom, a faint furrow on his brow at F'ur's comment. His lips twitched into a brief smile, an expression that faded slowly back into the neutral mask. No. He had made a decision, he wasn't going to leave.

Silently he came, invited or not, he still had an intention in mind after all. The pack dropped to the floor at the foot to the bed. Far enough away to convey that F'lix was in no rush to work on the inking. "I'm not good with words." He responded softly, apologetic even. Hands rested lightly on both of F'ur's shoulders as F'lix sank a knee down on the bed beside the ex-Fortian – avoiding the side a pocketed Terror occupied. He remained there, half straddling the other, but still keeping something of a distance. The baby salamandyrs were not forgotten.

The wisp of a smile returned, visible a moment before F'lix leaned in and pressed his lips to F'ur's. A very light, closed mouth kiss that the younger rider held for a short moment, not spurring it into anything more than a show of affection. He did say he was bad with words. "You're not doing anything wrong." Pulling back, F'lix lightly bit on the inside of his bottom lip as his gaze swept over F'ur's face. "I'm just.. "

Further back he went, slowly easing himself to the side to move past F'ur and further onto the bed. He laid down on his back, putting himself between the wall and the older rider. Clear enough that he held no plans of leaving any time soon. One hand lifted to slide fingers through his own dark hair, his other arm laid across his stomach. He wanted to pull the other down with him, but he wasn't one to force, even if he merely wanted to be close to avoid allowing his mind to be evasive.

Dark golden eyes observed F'ur quietly a few more moments before falling to a close. "I've placed my trust in you, and it.. scares me." His eyebrows still lifted despite having his eyes shut. Admitting fear never was easy. "It's been turns since I've opened up to someone and I'm beginning to think I've forgotten how to.. be close? I'm trying and obviously I'm failing. Horribly." F'lix chuckled softly at his own expense, even gave a full smile – despite it being a bitter one. The expressions were flowing more freely across his face now that he no longer was looking at F'ur or.. anything. Even the hand near his head raise a bit as he spoke – little surprise that he was prone to talk with his hands.

"I had accepted a while back that there wouldn't be anything between us. That I had misplaced feelings. A sevenday ago you were telling me I couldn't be anything more than a pastime for you. You.. changed your mind – I'm not arguing with that – but for not knowing you that well it's a lot of blind trust I'm giving and.. I don't know what you want." It was almost funny, both of them unsure about the other's feelings. "I don't want just a lay. I want more.. what that more is I can't really say. I don't have much–shards, let's just say I don't have any experience with anything other than freinds with benefits. So you tell me where you think this can go. I'd like it to go.. and go.."

F'lix made a leading motion with his hand. Such a master of words, the ex-Bendenite. The limb fell back over his face, the fingers splaying over his features. Golden eyes peeked out from between digits, almost hiding from whatever humiliation he had welcomed on to himself. "If you can be patient with me." He scrunched up his nose, attempting to make light of the situation. "These are neglected feelings. It will take a while to work out the kinks."

[Requiem]

He didn't even really think about it. Maybe it was to keep F'lix there, close, or maybe it was simply his natural response to a hand on his shoulder, but his right hand came up, resting lightly on F'lix's. F'ur glanced up at the younger man partially hovering over him, the familiar half-questioning expression that was a single arched brow again on his features. Close again. Part of his mind sneered that he should just wait a few seconds, for the kitten to recoil. Waiiiit for iiit. That voice was effectively silenced by the lips pressing against his, F'ur's hand squeezing F'lix's lightly, though he let the younger man lead. F'lix had initiated, after all, and he had no idea where he stood.

He watched the ex-Bendenite silently, his hand falling away. His exhale hissed slightly through his teeth. Clearly he was doing something wrong. (Funny, but F'ur tended to take responsibility for more than he probably should. If F'lix wasn't comfortable with him, it was clearly because he had been doing something wrong.)

The older man twisted to look at F'lix while he spoke, one leg coming up to rest on the mattress, his hand resting not far from F'lix's head. He found his eyes roaming, though not in the usual sense - reading any signs he could find. Words could be deceiving, but body language rarely was. No, he didn't think F'lix was trying to deceive him, but the kitten could be so obscure at times that the results weren't that different. Tch.

He frowned mildly, leaning down and lifting F'lix's hand at the wrist. His hand slid upwards, pushing the arm back with no real force if F'lix decided to fight it, fingers curling with the bluerider's. His other arm came to rest near F'lix's waist on the side closest to the wall, his torso twisting, and he returned the kiss, suckling gently on F'lix's lower lip. F'ur pulled back after a moment. "You started trusting me before then," he chided quietly. The hand at F'lix's waist moved up, brushing aside the hair on the ex-Bendenite's forehead, making it clear what he meant. "When you probably shouldn't have." A pause. "You cried."

Perhaps too blunt. F'ur had that habit, though, even when teasing. And especially when he was serious. "I'm good at fooling myself," he continued quietly. "But not good at fooling Ino. The day we met...he knew we'd end up here. Too sharding smart for his own good, the worm. Or, I guess I should say that he knew you were the type of person I fall for. Couldn't get you out of my mind after that first day." His lips quirked, wryly. "It was irritating. I tried so hard to find reasons to hate you, to get you out of my head, because you were from Benden and for some reason that actually meant something. I don't know. Seems silly now. The point is...I didn't really change my mind a sevenday ago. I just finally gave in to the inevitable. And you didn't just start trusting me, either. That doesn't make your point less valid. Just know that this isn't some...spur-of-the-moment decision I made that I'll regret tomorrow."

Lowering himself down onto an elbow, he released F'lix's hand, tugging the younger man over, until shoulder touched chest and all he had to do was lean over a little to nuzzle the man's cheek. Which he did. "As for where I want it to go...I play for keeps. Just one of my oddities." He smiled, though there was a definite nervous edge to it. Probably coming on too strong, but the man had asked in a rather roundabout way, so he felt the need to answer. "Unless the one I want isn't interested in playing for keeps." He searched F'lix's face for a long moment. "But yeah. I don't really do friends with benefits. One night stands or...serious commitments." Lifelong, really, but that definitely would have been coming on too strong. Cue self-deprecating smile. "What can I say? I'm an extremist."

[rii]

It had been gradual, the trust. Starting small with the simple entrusting that F'ur wouldn't hurt him; regardless that the man threatened to take his life. The ex-Fortian had shown to possess enough self control to keep from breaking F'lix – physically. With each encounter a little more confidence was given and F'lix couldn't seem to stop it. Or maybe he didn't want to. He'd argue that the heart did what it wanted, regardless of any chastening rationality. All little details that F'lix felt no need to put to words. He didn't want to sound as if he was debating the trivialities. Pointless.

Although, F'lix squeezed F'ur's hand, the younger wondered if this was going to become a habit for the older man. Kiss him, chide him for one reason or another, then talk. A soft smile spread, partially amused by the thought. It seemed to work – at least the first part did for quelling F'lix sense of unease. But, hn, F'lix gave a brief scorning narrow of eyes at the comment of having cried. A few tears that happened to escape didn't amount to crying. Not as if he had been sobbing like some heart-broken sap. His inner musings rallied in a masculine spurred defensiveness, but other than the short – and mostly playful – look, he remained quiet.

Golden eyes slowly shifted back and forth between F'ur's dark ones. Not actively looking for a tell of a ruse, but honestly.. staring at the man. It wasn't too obvious, but definitely a cat-got-your-tongue reaction. F'ur cleared away a good deal of F'lix's doubting thoughts. Really left little to no room for his mind to misconstrue the words. Yet what had F'lix oddly aware of his own heart beating inside his chest were the answers he finally received. Likely could have known his position with F'ur sooner if he had just been brave enough to ask. Instead he had reverted to an evasive behavior that distanced himself from the issue entirely.

He really did need to learn to communicate better.

Play for keeps. An odd phrase, F'lix reflected on that while turning his head to better view F'ur. The nervous smile didn't go unnoticed. Seeing it only strengthened F'ur's words, if he had been overly confident about them F'lix would have found reason to once again worry. F'lix didn't respond immediately, still attempting to find his tongue while thinking about his own feelings. He knew what he wanted, but he still took the moment to roll it over in his mind – to try and remove the majority of emotion driven impulsive responses. He was the type when he fell.. he fell hard. Loyal to a fault as well. A good reason why he had been reluctant. It had been proven in the past that even if it was a bad choice, he didn't back away..

F'lix turned on his side to face the older man, moving into him as once again his lips found F'ur's. A light touch. If only he could just express himself in actions alone. He didn't know what to say to it all. "You fooled me," He said first, a quiet and rather pointless phrase. Had to start somewhere. At least it was true, he really had thought F'ur wanted nothing to do with him. "For keeps then." A more serious tone, and F'lix quickly followed it with action. A more firm press of lips, ending with teeth lightly pulling at F'ur's bottom one.

The younger was pushing in more closely, arm inching around the older man. His attention shifting to F'ur's neck with intentions of giving his own brand of affection – not often did he give kisses. They were few and often far in between. He was more of teeth and nails, but before he do more than nuzzle against the warmth – teeth grazing over flesh – F'lix gave a heavy sigh and retreated. Not far, but enough to accompany his following words. "Mm, I hate salamandyrs."

Shardit. F'lix really needed something to focus his mind on. And, not at all masking his the grouchy tone, F'lix let out a small snort while making very little effort to remove himself from F'ur. "I guess I'll work on your foot."

[Requiem]

Lack of reaction. How...encouraging. An edge of defiance entered into F'ur's eyes, the man preparing to laugh the whole thing off, though he was wilting a little inside. You'd think it would get easier the fifth time. (And five over a period of twenty turns wasn't really all that unreasonable given how short life expectancies tended to be.) It didn't, though. In some ways, it got harder, because there were a lot more options for people like him up north than there were here, and F'ur was not a solitary person. The location and the fact that this was a young Weyr, with not so many options for a man his age anyway even if he hadn't been ridiculously picky, all served to make it harder. No one liked rejection.

Then he was moving. F'ur felt the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding leave his lungs in a rush, F'lix's lips speaking in a way that a verbal responsed wouldn't have managed. He cupped the side of the man's head, hand sliding around to the back of his head, playing with the shorter strands. The older man wasn't thinking of much aside from the warmth against him. He barely heard the words. Even so, they were superfluous; F'lix's response had been in the kiss.

F'ur protested the younger rider's assertion that he'd fooled him...only to be silenced by another kiss, pressing his body closer to F'lix's until there was really no space between them at all. His fingers curled in the other man's hair, a slight tremble in them at the touch along his neck. F'ur truly did love to be touched there...anywhere where a pulse was strongest, really. The vulnerability was exhilharating. (And who knew better than F'ur, aside from healers, just how truly vulnerable these spots were?)

He grunted, a brief flash of irritation in his eyes, even as the warmth retreated a short ways. F'ur was inclined to drag him back over - not necessarily because he wanted to do anything, though yes, he did, but because it would have been nice just to have F'lix close. Of course, he knew that was likely to lead to things that they shouldn't be doing. Because of the salamandyrs. Just...tch. The timing was definitely poor. Then he shrugged, smiling wryly. "What's one or two more months?" came the droll response. One or two more months where they'd have to be careful not to ignite an easily sparked flame - at least on F'ur's end. Bother.

"Would likely be a good distraction," the man agreed, though he was in no more of a hurry to have F'lix withdraw further than the other bluerider was. F'ur's eyes coursed over the other rider possessively, and he grinned with clear self-satisfaction. A kitten of his own.