The best of us can find happiness in misery [Rei]

[rii]

It was quiet.

Not entirely usual for the bluerider to find himself encompassed in silence, but it was the first time it actually bothered him. Saboth was asleep, Lilitu was trailing Ba'sun, F'ur was.. well, F'lix didn't exactly know. Inocenth was gone so the older dragonpair had to be out doing something. Just.. the quietness to the shared weyr was.. depressing.

Padding up to the desk, F'lix gathered a few wooden tiles he had carved a few days prior. Now that F'ur had organized his.. impressive.. collection of randomness (dodats, thinges, etc.) F'lix had moved some of his own projects into the weyr. In the past he always tucked them out of the way to not get mixed in with the former chaos. Now he actually had room to do his so called 'arts and crafts'.

Today, though, he needed not just room but an.. environment. F'lix slipped a carving knife into his belt, and with and several small tiles in hand, made his way down to a spot just below the weyrs and main hall. Dragons in the sky, drudges meandering about with their tasks – this spot would do for now. F'lix sat in the grass, set the tiles on his folded legs and retrieved his thin knife to begin his carving..

[Rei]

Sel’n had just finished his afternoon nap. Kaaoloth was still asleep and Vanity was with Lust as per normal. It had been initially hard to acclimate to helping at the infirmary at night while still doing wing drills during the day. But managing time was getting easier. If anything the older rider had always been good at balancing things. Just enough of this to cope, just enough of that to survive, feeling without feeling too much.

Yes it was all about balance in his life. Without that subtle balance he’d likely drive himself insane. As it was the Ex Weyrlingmaster wasn’t in such a good mood. hadn’t been for a couple weeks now. Initially it had started with irritation at suddenly being moved off S’rei’s wing. Yes in return he had been made a wingleader and given his own wing. But that wing was made up of mostly degenerates or dragons that had a one problem or another.

The next graduating weyrling class wasn’t to promising either and he was getting those on his wing next. Where was he going to put that four winged disaster waiting to happen? Or that sexless one with the extreme anger issues? It was a problem and besides that there where more of them. The bad attitude bronzer, the green who rose mid lesson. That whole class was an exercise in failure. Not Iskierka’s fault but still…. Glorified babysitter was basically what he would be. However Sel’n had never been one to coddle or stroke egos.

It was simple. If his wing didn’t perform and perform well they would do it over and over till they got it right. If he lost one or a few of them in threadfall. Well then that was one less useless dragon and rider pair for the weyr to feed. Children or not. There was a time to step up and if you didn’t make the cut. It was your own fault. He would do what he could for them of course but after that. It was up to them. So yes. Maybe it wouldn’t be all bad. The weaker would be weeded out first after all. His wing was practically guaranteed not to like him. But that was not really his problem. He didn’t have to be liked to be respected.

So involved was Sel’n in his own faults he almost missed F’lix. Almost being the key word. He hadn’t seen the bluerider much since their little meeting in the jungle. The outcome of that little standoff?, game? still raised questions in his mind. Oh he had seen the younger man in wing drills before he got reassigned but even then things seemed a little strained… In fact part of the older brown rider wondered if F’lix had some part in getting him shuttled off S’rei’s wing and given instead control of the lowest wing.

Slowly he approached the bluerider “Good afternoon F’lix. Busy?” His voice was deadpan and completely unreadable as he regarded the younger man. Perhaps all he had to do was ask. F’lix had his ways of hiding around things and game playing but he was also fairly blunt about a lot of things. Shifting his stance to get a better look at what the younger man was carving he gave a light snort. “Keeping yourself occupied?”

[rii]

F'lix didn't show any acknowledgment of the words. His eyes remained downcast on his work, carefully tracing the design from his mind to the wood. Sel'n's voice was easily recognized, having been on the same wing for so long and having had a partial friendship. In all that time, F'lix was mildly disappointed the brownrider had not picked up on the fact he detested small talk. F'lix's eyes narrowed on his work – what kind of question was that anyway. Busy? With both hands full, the bluerider was more than certain that by appearances alone he silently answered that question.

Only when Sel'n came neared enough to pass through his light, then shift to better look over his shoulder, did F'lix finally lift his head, bristling just beneath the skin. Calmly he lowered his hands into lap, turning his head just enough to better view Sel'n. The lack of infliction in Sel'ns tone suggest the man might get to the point – but alas, no. A disdainful snort paired with something of a rhetorical question came out instead.

F'lix waited a long moment to see if anything more would be said. Privately he weighed the the option of bluntly asking what Sel'n wanted, but no doubt the brownrider would try and feed him some crockery about wanting to check up on his 'friend'. Hn. "I was," His own tone low and bordering on the touch of cold – more to do with Sel'n's half position looming over him from behind than hinting at the brownrider being an unwanted disruption. Alas, couldn't have the more bustling environment without the drawback of possible conversation. "Not to be confused with your idea of keeping yourself occupied."

His gaze lingered somewhere around the brownrider's knees before F'lix turned his face forward, raising hands back up to continue with his meticulous carving. Sel'n's presence, obviously, wasn't the most welcomed.

[Rei]

Sel’n examined F’lix with a near unreadable look. A twinge of annoyance flashed through his eyes however. Brushing him off. Yet again. It was getting to the point where he was growing truly tired of these circles. Running a hand through his hair he gave a dry chuckle. “Keeping myself occupied works. Anyway I choose to do it.” Shifting his voice became deadpan. “I’ll have plenty to keep me busy now that I’ve been saddled with every deadbeat and moron in the weyr. Stellar wing I’m sure I’ll have. Not that it matters. They’ll quickly find themselves shaping up or shipping out.”

Trailing off the older rider moved to intentionally block what light F’lix had been able to keep. Determined the brownrider was to not be ignored. Had issues to resolve and the only way he could resolve them was to force F’lix to hash it out. One way or another. Part of him was mildly worried about upsetting F’ur. But it was a small part. Not enough to dissuade him surely. Not like he expected to get violent. Although when tempers ran hot anything was possible.

How to begin…Blue eyes flicked to the carving in F’lix’s hands and it took a supreme effort of will not to just grab it to get some type of reaction. Biting the inside of his cheek Sel’n considered for a moment before speaking. “Tell me something F’lix. What exactly is your problem. I know you’ve been avoiding me. I’m not blind contrary to seemingly popular belief. I’m not that old yet.” The brownrider gave a humorless chuckle. “I can’t say that I quite understand why you bother to keep the stoic act. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what your problem is. I can stand here all day if you like.” Towards the end Sel’n’s voice lowered to something resembling cold indifference. “Tell me F’lix are you relived that I’ve gotten reassigned?”

Was Sel’n trying to bait the other rider into an altercation? Not really. That being said he wouldn’t be inclined to avoid one if it did happen.

[rii]

A single brow rose at Sel'n's initial – defensive? – response. F'lix didn't take his eyes off his work, but his thoughts did wander; trying to make sense off those first few words. The curious ambling of F'lix's mind ended as the brownrider continued to speak. The second brow rose to join the first. F'lix still opted to not respond, keeping his breath slight as he carefully made an arcing curve of a dragon's neck on the small tile.

"Quite the pride you still have, brownrider," He idly rubbed his thumb over the carved line. "I wouldn't separate you from your merry band of deadbeats and morons, as you eloquently put it." A man's worth could be seen in the work he put forth, and if Sel'n wanted to think of wing as a fail, then.. well, it was no different from the times he listened to the man complain about his squad. "As I see it, everyone on that wing needs to prove their worth."

The threat of violence loomed in the air. F'lix wondered if Sel'n sought to intimidate him by stance and tone alone. A touch amusing. The bluerider had grown up in C'leon's Benden, violence was – sadly – a comfort zone. He lifted the tile near his lips, blowing aside the wedge-like shavings while also finally raising his gaze to regard Sel'n. "Avoiding you suggests I'm afraid of some sort of confrontation," A mockery of a smile flitted across his lips. "And it's hardly an act, I don't pretend to be what I am not." Accusation fluttered just beneath the words. "It's simply me no longer bothering with you."

The knife was flipped around, the flat of blade resting against inner wrist to be out of immediate sight. F'lix didn't bluster with empty threats – which was more or less all a person was doing if they thought to wave a knife around. It also suggested he might feel some need to keep Sel'n at bay. The absurd thought sent a trickle of amusement through the otherwise frank look F'lix gave the older man.

"No, I'm not relieved you were re-assigned," The pause that followed had to be purposeful. Curious if Sel'n would garner that moment of relief before F'lix corrected him. He traced his nail through the tiny crevice in the wood, examining the line a moment before returning his attention to Sel'n; the humor gone. "Irritated, actually. If it were up to me, you'd have responsibility over no one. I image it's the color of your dragon and your history that keeps you that position. I have a hard time giving responsibility to man according to what he was, not what he is."

[Rei]

Sel’n took F’lix’s words with a barely disguised twitch. Well now. The brownrider’s eyes carefully examined F’lix. Noting each movement and keeping the knife the other rider wielded in view. Paranoid? Most definitely for good reason likely to. A grimace briefly flitted across the older riders features. “Everyone hmm? Pride has nothing to do with it. I am neither a moron nor a deadbeat and that is what make me different from the idiots I am forced to beat sense into.” Icy blue eyes examined the younger rider, Sel’n sifting to a more defensive position behind F’lix. The anger welled just beneath his skin. Where did the bluerider get off? Had Kaaoloth been awake he would surely by now be attempting to diffuse the situation. But the brown was not there.

The brownrider gave F’lix a long searching look. “You don’t pretend to be what you are not? I find that hard to swallow.” The words he offered where mocking and cold. Shifting to put a bit of distance between them solely so F’lix would have to work if he wanted to hit him Sel’n laughed the sound mirthless. “No really? I couldn’t tell.” The sarcastic words held bite and perhaps just a tad bit of upset. The brownrider didn’t quite like where this was going but he wasn’t going to stop now. Not at all. Not until he got some kind of closure. This wasn’t helping. “People don’t avoid people just to stop confrontation. There is plenty of reason for avoidance and excuse me for thinking you are lying. You are avoiding. Whether you accept that fact or not.” Boots shifted as he centered his weight.

The movement was entirely in reaction to the blade he saw flick against F’lix’s wrist and just out of sight. Not stupid. Sel’n had been alive long enough and survived though enough to realize the benefits of being observant. In the past he had given F’lix the benefit of trust because he regarded the man as a friend and a comrade. Now…Now it was different. The brownrider still liked the bluerider. But he was also upset and hurt and that tended to manifest itself in either self destructive behavior or violent displays. Seemed the later was more likely currently.

Patient the brownrider was as he awaited the bluerider to speak. When F’lix finally spoke Sel’n examined him with mild amusement waiting. That wasn’t what he meant to say and the older rider knew this. More of F’lix’s games. Currently he wasn’t in the mood for them. A soft chuckle followed the younger rider’s words when he finally spoke.

“Well you’re not the one who makes those decisions and it has nothing to do with the color of Kaaoloth. What you think of me had no bearing on what I am F’lix. Sad to say I don’t much care what you think. My wing is my wing and I’ll do with it what I want. See what happens hm? I’d die for my wing, which is more than I can say for you. You’ll bite the minute things turn sour. Case in point.” He raised his hands in a all encompassing gesture his right one subtly hovering close to his belt knife, just in case.

[rii]

The crunch of earth, and the hiss-like whisper of grass beneath Sel'n's boots was all F'lix needed to hear to pair action to sound. He didn't need to know the reason. Knowing the emotions behind the actions didn't, in the end, help to hasten F'lix reaction time. Delving into the whys of another person's mind would only lead down a road that had a man anticipating another's reactions – only to be caught by the blow they didn't see coming; didn't anticipate.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," F'lix dismissed Sel'n's words. Didn't care to repeat himself to a man that in the past had shown he was only interested in hearing what he wanted to her. F'lix had spoken the truth of his opinion and it wouldn't be the first time people all but choked on it in protest.

"Oh?" Again the smile slipped across his features, eyes half-lidding in amusement – an unseen expression given the brownrider had shifted even further behind him. F'lix didn't care to turn his head to keep track of the man; instead watching the head of Sel'n's retreated shadow through the corner of his eyes and listening to his movements. Where as the small inflictions made it into Sel'n's voice, F'lix's tone remained the same mix of jovial ridicule. "You're right, I'm not the one that makes the choices. Yet here you are.."

The last three words he said slowly, carefully emphasizing each one. To F'lix it was clear as day that Sel'n was there to be angry, to blame someone. The position a disgustingly familiar one to the Bendenite. The smile remained on his lips as he began to roll the wooden tile back and forth over his knuckles. A definite coldness beginning to take over his eyes. "What are you then, aside from a dead man trying to pass off as a living one. You'll do only as much as you need to keep that wingleader position and nothing more. I pity those that have you for guidance. I'd never follow you into a fight. What kind of person would follow a man that acts ready to bend knee to death, silently wishing for his misery end?"

Sel'n's last words did amuse him. F'lix turned his head, viewing the brownrider with the scarred portion of his face. Backstabber, was he – the bluerider couldn't be offended by the truth. He had killed a friend in cold blood in the past. "Strange, I believe it is you behind me with detest in your eyes, not the other way around."

[Rei]

Sel’n kept his eyes focused on F’lix’s form carefully watching for traces of movement even as he gave a wordless sigh. To much to hope for that F’lix would just spit it all out. Always had to be these careful barbs. Designed to fuel another’s rage perhaps. Well thanks be to Faranth they where working and the older rider was beginning to seethe a little inside. Really it shouldn’t be bothering him. He should be able to merely brush it off as he had in the past and just walk away. But somehow walking away now felt so very cowardly. Perhaps it was the untouchable facade that the younger rider put up. Part of Sel’n wanted to try something just to prove that F’lix wasn’t as untouchable as he seemed to view himself. Pride aside it was more a matter of anger than anything else now.

Rarely did the brown rider even get angry but when he actually did it wasn’t an easy emotion for him to quell. Probably because it was such an infrequent one. Still the brown rider wasn’t quite stupid or arrogant enough to hit someone who had their back turned to him. No matter how badly he wanted to. “Yes here I am. Because I wanted to know what the fuck your problem was.” Now he felt he had a bit of a clue to it the matter and it only served to piss him off more. Sel’n was what he was. A creature of habit. Had been for turns now. Emotions where kept to a minimum because that was how he coped. What right did F’lix have to pick him apart and analyze him. Was it all for amusements sake? Well it was no longer funny.

Gritting his teeth Sel’n ran a hand through his short hair trying to regain some bit of calm. Anything to keep him from completely flying off the handle. It was really a wonder Kaaoloth hadn’t awoken yet with the slight loss if control. Biting his tongue Sel’n forced himself to stay quiet until F’lix had finished. “Lucky you. You never have to follow me into a fight. Likely neither do they. It’s a thread fighting wing. If they get hurt there it is due to their own stupidity not mine. I can give them the knowledge. It’s how they use it that makes the difference. Why I bother even trying to explain myself I don’t know.” The icy edge to his voice continued. “You’re assuming a lot here anyway by telling me what I am and what I will do. What give you the right?”

The brownrider took a careful measured step forward. Testing the waters so to speak. He could hardly hit someone with their back turned after all. Nor would he hit a man who wasn’t yet to his feet. Morals in war Sel’n did not have. It was kill or be killed there. Strike when you where able and aim to kill. However this was not war. “I think you need to read a little closer. If I detested you I’d have no problem stabbing you in the back. As it is I’d rather you stand and face me. That way if I decide to knock you upside the head I can sleep tonight.”

[rii]

The tile stopped, held loosely between pinky and ring finger as F'lix gestured lightly – a lazy cutting motion away from his body. "As I said, teach them just enough to keep that position." And pass the blame on to someone else's shoulders. "Be sure to tell them that when Fort comes back, or Benden changes plans, that they should tell the enemy that they belong to a thread fighting wing. I'm sure they'll just pat them on the head and send them on their way." He felt that fighting should be taught to weyrlings. It had been that way at Benden, because after graduation there wasn't a period of time to transition them from weyrling hood to the art of war. Waiting until they were adults also came with the draw back of people already being too set in there ways. He didn't have the time to teach each member of his squad the basics that they should have already known. He wanted to be able to teach them beyond the basic.

.. but his mind was deviating from the true topic at hand.

"You came to me, asked me the questions, not the other way around. If you can't stomach the answers you get then you should of kept your mouth shut." F'lix eyes narrowed as Sel'n neared, the tile on his fingers shifting back into the dexterous dance across his knuckles. The detest didn't have to be at him specifically, could even be self aimed, or just in dislike to an attitude; it was still detest.

F'lix outright snorted at the absurdity to Sel'n's words. In what day and age did people actually fight face to face like gentleman and exchange blows. Ridiculous. "Apologizes," He sneered with the word, "We backstabbers don't believe in gentlemanly duels. Piss off already. Go wrap yourself up in that misery that comforts you so." His hand repeated the previous motion, sharply gesturing for Sel'n to leave.

[Rei]

Sel’n said nothing because there was nothing to say. His wing would be primarily a thread fighting wing. He could teach the, fighting yes. But to what end? What would it accomplish. Handing some of those children weapons and forcing them into it just wouldn’t work. For example did Erilena or Dy’shi even know how to properly hold a weapon? Doubtful and what of X’rx? Could that kid ever intentionally stab someone in cold blood with the aim to kill? Again that was doubtful. As far as the dragons went. Feyrianth would be useless in battle. To much wing to protect and no way to do it sufficiently and some of the others... Did they even have the temperament to be fighters? Most dragons up north where raised form birth to know that fighting would be necessary. Here not so much. It was all speculation at this point but the assumption that he would sit around and watch his wing perish was not something the older rider could tolerate currently. Not at all.

More words. That where currently so very unnecessary. Deep breath and all that crap aside, a man could only take so much. Yes perhaps it was very juvenile to let words bother him. But currently the brownrider didn’t much care to rationalize his actions. To much to rationalize. Action was easier. He had been teetering emotionally a bit in fact since the whole fellis situation. Things carefully tucked away and then hidden. Well for once fuck it. What did it matter anyway?

It was with sudden determination that Sel’n moved even before F’lix finished his gesture. Turns of fighting made the movement near seamless but the brownrider wasn’t stupid. F’lix had just as much experience and he was quicker. More agile. One of the only openings the older rider had lay in the advantage of surprise. He rather hoped he could make a connection quickly. Otherwise it could go badly for him.

Not that he cared currently. His belt knife was drawn with his offhand, only because he realized that F’lix to was armed. He needed something to block should the younger rider strike out that way. With a sudden movement he aimed a kick at the side of F’lix’s head readying himself to pivot and follow up with a strike with his fist to the opposite side of the blue rider’s head. He wasn’t holding back either. Solely because if he left any type of opening he would likely stand no chance.

Only now with the sudden anger and strike did Kaaoloth wake with a growl. Blinking sleepy eyes the large brown uncurled on his ledge with a hiss, his wings mantling and beating the air. What is going on? The sudden blocking from his rider’s mind was not comforting at all. Arching his neck he growled again as he tried to piece together the situation.

[Requiem]

Off-key whistling, as the words bounced in his head - though, fortunately for everyone nearby, F'ur was sparing them the voice that made mandrakes seem like the heavenly chorus - the bluerider was half-bounding in what might have been mistaken for a skip back from his little near-daily session with Mi'rah. Nothing like putting a bronzer on his ass and being thanked for it to lift a man's spirits, hm? Now if only it could be one of the more arrogant bastards floating around here. S'rei. Ka'rys. Even that tall long-haired kid with the attitude.

I like my hats and I cannot lie,
You crazy people can't deny
That when I put this on and tie it in place
With that shadow cross my face
It looks cool, want one for y'self
Cause-

Well now, what was that?

He didn't quite stop, but the bounding gait shifted into something a touch less bouncy as he saw all that body language radiating with anger off two very familiar figures. Not that he'd felt entirely comfortable with, you know, the old news and his current getting all buddy buddy (though whatever had interested F'lix about Sel'n seemed to have vanished given the few conversations they'd had about the brownrider as of late) but looking like they were gonna start rolling around in the dirt at any given moment wasn't really an improvement. Unconcerned, he shifted course, coming up behind the pair with a decidedly curious expression on his face. Of course it was hidden by his hat, his uber cool hat that everyone coveted secretly. Yeah, he knew it, even if they didn't want to admit it!

Whoa, wait a second there! F'ur didn't really think so much as react, coming up onto the balls of his bare feet and darting forward to land a brisk jab to Sel'n's kidney on the side of the kicking leg. F'lix undoubtedly knew it was coming, and he was pretty sure the kitten wasn't about to take a kick to the head from Sel'n (punches were bad enough, but there was enough force behind a kick to kill anyone, much less someone who already had a previous injury to his skull) but seeing as how F'ur intended to keep the kitten around for quite some time yet he wasn't too keen on taking the chance. Letting Sel'n absorb the momentum of his dash (read: running full into him) F'ur's arm crossed diagonally over the man's chest, digging his fingers into the meat of the shoulder of Sel'n's good right arm and sliding his foot against the brownrider's boot to widen the man's stance awkwardly. All in an effort to delay the man enough for both F'lix to react and Sel'n to maybe stop being a complete idiot.

Who went for a fatal blow in full daylight with over a dozen witnesses? F'lix could kill him at his leisure, now, and not know an ounce of blame after a fool move like that. Not that F'ur cared to stop whatever F'lix might do in retaliation; he figured Sel'n could take whatever he had coming to him, for being a dumbass if nothing else. F'ur's presence should preserve his life if F'lix got the impulse...possibly. If not, he'd tried. Sure, he cared a touch about Sel'n, but not enough to really care if the man threw his life away by being a stupid hothead. Tch. "Selaaaarin, don't you know you're supposed to get calmer with age?" He drawled. The use of the given name was by no means an accident.

The younger ex-Fortian peered around the taller man at F'lix curiously. "Kitten?" What was going on between these two, anyway?

[rii]

F'lix's left arm came up – the armed hand – to catch against the leg coming at his head. His arm folding protectively against the side of his face to lessen the blow. He didn't move to bury the blade into flesh, but he also wasn't too careful about the way it happened to dig into Sel'n's booted foot as opposing forces collided. It annoyed him, on a minor degree, if only because he understood taking a punch or two to sate someone's anger. A kick though, to the weak side of his skull, was not something he could take in stride.

He didn't know F'ur had come upon them, if he had he would have taken more notice to the awkward punch and the near over-burdened man hovering over him. F'lix moved back just enough to turn his head and have Sel'n's fist grazing his cheekbone and catching the side of his nose in passing. Brawling had never been F'lix's brand of violence. He killed, simply put; went for the nearest weak point to cripple or finish off his opponent. Thus so, F'lix not realizing an intervention was in process, the Bendenite twisted on his position on the ground, curling a knee up to his chest before kicking out hard at the side of Sel'n's knee – his grounded leg.

A side roll afterward sent the wooden tiles spinning. F'lix was already on his feet in a half crouch, the knife buried in the ground with intentions of staying there. His other fingers curled through the grass as he settled his narrowed eyes on Sel'n. He knew better than to kill the brownrider, regardless of who started what. If argued F'lix would admit to prompting the man to attack (wouldn't be the first time he waited until a man attacked first to put an end to him with little questioning).

"S'rei wouldn't give you up," The tone was low, skimming just above disgust. F'lix didn't pay mind to the figure that had arrived, his mood directed solely at Sel'n. It should be expected, being in such a public place that someone might think to intervene. "Would have been easy to hand you over. Instead we fought." of course there were more key points to that attack, but none of those involved the man currently in front of him. "My weyrmate nearly died. And you know how you thank us - think to repay us? By wanting to die anyway. It's sickening to watch. You whine about those you get charge of – what are you even teaching them aside that you have no passion for life and that they are hopeless in your eyes. That what, they are bound to be up like you?"

He rolled forward on the balls of his feet, the energy moving just beneath the skin, itching to spring forward and put the end of the words with a blade instead. But this confrontation could not have a ending writ in blood. It had to be done with words. Bothersome. He hated words. "Please, teach them nothing. Damn them all to die with you because you see them as lost causes. It's one thing to put a blade in their hand and teach them the basics to give them a chance, another thing entirely to send them witless into a slaughter. But it's no sweat off your back, is it. It's their own fault they didn't learn elsewhere even though you were their teacher. Nothing is ever your own fault. You want the responsibility, but then all you seem to do is view it as a burden. So yeah, I went to S'rei about you, but I doubt my opinion of you had much effect on his choice to move you. But you know I can't help but think, after all this time, we should have just let you die. And since you want to die, die alone, don't be dragging anyone else with you."

Only then, temper exhausted through words, did F'lix golden eyes shift to regard the stranger. Instantly his features paled, the glare lessening – a small degree, but it wasn't as harsh as the one he had put on Sel'n. Abashed to be found in such a peculiar situation, F'lix eyes found the ground and his jaw firmed as the words escaped him. His gaze flitted over the scattered wooden tiles, the annoyance welling up a second time.

[Rei]

In retrospect maybe the move he pulled wasn’t the smartest one ever. Sadly Sel’n was too wrapped up in his own anger to care overly much about much of anything at that moment besides making contact in some way. Concentrated as he was on F’lix and the block, the other bluerider coming up behind him wasn’t noticed at all. Until the pain exploded through his back. That in itself was distracting enough that the punch he threw afterwards lost quite a bit of power. As he felt F’ur hit into him from behind and quickly incapacitate him by half grabbing him in a pin changing his stance completely, the brownrider gritted his teeth. More from the pain in his kidney than any actual annoyance. The freezing of movement however was also in response to F’ur’s words. Not that he heard much besides his given name (surprised registering there) and the word calmer.

Next moment he felt F’lix’s kick make contact with his knee and with the flare of pain came a slumping of the older rider’s weight to the right. Most likely just had his kneecap kicked out of place. Wonderful. That was his only sarcastic thought as the brownrider hit the dirt. Instead of struggling to right himself some way, Sel’n gave a hiss of pain and a grimace before stilling completely to await at least some part of the pain to dull a little. Pain was a nice barrier to word comprehension currently. As the haze of his mind cleared it was F’lix’s words that he concentrated on, not that he offered the younger rider anything to make clear that he was listening. The words themselves caused him to stiffen but as far as speaking went, it was better not to open your mouth when one was in pain.

Instead he shifted to view the younger rider with cold blue eyes and fixed him with a look of interest. So that was it hmm? That was what was bothering the younger rider so much? As interesting as that all was, who said he wouldn’t be responsible with his wing? He had always taught his weyrling classes defensive maneuvers. Aerial ones with the dragons strictly but lessons nevertheless. He had even went as far as to teach Hepaticath them, as her class was the first he was ever in charge of. The Zodiac class also, for one, even Jingth, knew the basis of dragon combat. At least how to defend.

Maybe in ways Sel’n didn’t have respect for his own life. But he wasn’t as selfish or cold as to take others down with him. Especially the young. Nor was he truly ready to give up and die as much as he tried to tell himself he was somedays. In he end he wasn’t going to be the one responsible for ending the lives of his wing. He would teach them what they needed but it was often what one did with the knowledge that mattered in the end. With a half smile he struggled to prop himself up on his elbows, spitting onto the ground in an attempt to clear his head, but still he offered nothing. There was nothing more for him to offer. What could he do? Apologize for the way he viewed things? It wouldn’t help. Best to just move on and prove F’lix wrong. That was the best way to shove it in the bluerider’s face that what he assumed wasn’t always right.

Upon his ledge Kaaoloth rumbled, the sound displeased. I nap and you go and get yourself hurt. Please don’t do anything stupid now. I’d rather keep you in one piece so you can ‘prove Saboth’s wrong’ as you so eloquently put it. By the way you will likely have Phremath’s raging at you later. Vanity is quite angry and that never goes well for you. Flicking his tail he sighed. His was coming a long way from his fellis addiction and he was getting better mentally, bit by bit, but little setbacks like this where beginning to be tiresome. When it all boiled down to it complaints from his where just that. Complaints. Sometimes the brown believed his just liked to listen to himself gripe.

Settling himself more firmly on the ledge the large brown snorted as he tried to pick apart the mess and find the cause and effect of it all.

[Requiem]

And there went the knee. Feeling the tug of Sel'n's weight and knowing he'd end up half-trapped beneath the larger man if he stubbornly held on, he quickly disentangled himself from the other rider and watched him slump to the ground rather blankly. Timber? Shrugging the hat that had fallen back into place between his shoulderblades, any further thought about maybe helping the brownrider - since Sel'n looked like all the fight had gone out of him in a rush, and little wonder - halted with the hissed words coming from the man who shared his furs.

He found himself staring at his weyrmate, a couple of rapid blinks the only indicator of his attempt to process all the spite, completely out of context as it was. Some of it he was getting, but he was feeling distinctly like he shouldn't be here right now, like this wasn't something he was supposed to hear. This was about the wings stuff, wasn't it? Sel'n had been bothering F'lix for some time now, F'ur knew, but even during those brief discussions - which were more F'lix coming back twitchy and F'ur hearing out what he chose to say and otherwise finding better distractions - he hadn't realized how deep it went. Or perhaps that was mostly the residual anger of a foot flying for his head. Knee looked like it hurt. Good. Much as F'ur wasn't actively angry, he definitely would have been justified had he been, and there was a part of him that was decidedly irritated that anyone would strike out at his with deadly force. So, yes, he was unsympathetic.

Perhaps moreso because of how riled F'lix was, in truth. A small pang of guilt, ridiculous though it might have been, that he'd upset the kitten as much as he had during that fight. He pushed it aside.

Healers were coming for Sel'n. And why not? Half the weyr had seen. At least it didn't mean he had to cater to the man, though. F'ur slipped toward F'lix, crouching down and helping to gather the tiles that had spilled. He was silent. The silence was for Sel'n to fill, but the man didn't say anything, and maybe it was wrong or unfair, but a prickling of unease coursed up his spine. Last time the man's pride had been wounded F'ur had seen the inside of an interrogation room. His dark eyes focused on his task, a hand briefly moving over to squeeze F'lix's thigh. He held out a handful of the tiles to the younger man, glancing back as healers carefully moved Sel'n into a stretcher, apparently not wanting to lug him up to the infirmary.

[rii]

Golden eyes intently studied the grass, tracing the gentle arc of each blade until his eyes paused on the drop of dark red against green. Blood. Only a few drops, but F'lix loose stance briefly stiffened as a cold sensation swept through his body. Adrenaline often trumped the feeling of pain, paired off with F'lix's dulled sensors the blood was suddenly a cause for concern. Sel'n was holding a blade. Maybe he got in a proper blow after all. F'lix didn't budge from his position, not wanting to give the brownrider the satisfaction of knowing he had drawn blood.

A tickling sensation ran over his top lip, followed by another red droplet falling to the ground. Ah. The concern vanished. F'lix lifted his hand, smearing fingers through the small trail of blood leaking from the side of his nose Sel'n's fist managed to hit. F'lix almost flinched, the barest shifting of balance on his feet in response to the hand reaching for his thigh. His gaze honed in on the offered tiles, slowly drawing out of his inner thoughts (the Bendenite was ever prone to retreat into his mind without noticing). The former scowl smoothed out, the last traces of ire fading from the golden hue of his eyes.

It was such a kind gesture.

Clean fingers reached forward, hovering over the tiles before simply reaching for F'ur instead. The digits threading into the dark hair at the base of F'ur's neck. F'lix tended to not be very physical when out in public – there was a fair amount of onlookers gathered by this point – and then there was the matter of their little playful negotiation concerning the hat. But.. but, he was willing to overlook those small details.

His weight swayed forward, as if to pull the older man into a one armed hug, but he settled back on his heels in the end. Had seen the look on F'ur's face a moment past, and his silence now was a touch disquieting. Instead his hand slid to F'ur's shoulder, F'lix offering his weyrmate an awkward half-smile. His eyes cast over F'ur's shoulder at Sel'n and the healers. "You cut out his tongue?"

Sel'n's sudden silence was a touch.. odd. A change that F'lix would chalk up on the account of F'ur's presence. His fingers squeezed lightly at the muscle between neck and shoulder – not wanting to draw his hand away; wanted that small bit of contact to clear his mind. "Thanks," Spoken softly, for F'ur's ears only, because one of the reasons F'ur was there was for him, right? "And.. sorry."

His head chin dipped, eyes once again fell away along with his fingers. The blood absently wiped off onto the grass before F'lix made motion to rise, pushing F'ur's hand close in the process to make the older bluerider keep the tiles. Again a harsh look shot in Sel'n's direction, "I suppose I should go find and talk to S'rei."