CONTEST Talk Like a Sailor

[Requiem]

It was a colorful figure that stalked purposely across the pier that led to the large barge at his back, placing his hands on his hips and bellowing at foghorn decibels into the roar of the gathered crowds. "SHUT YER TRAPS YE GREAT WINDBAGS!" As soon as a hush settled over the crowd, he sauntered forward another couple of steps, unrolling a really old looking piece of parchment. Squinting down at it, he huffed for a moment, then rolled it back up with a flourish and tapped it against his thigh. "I have here uh challenge. The scurviest dogs of the seven seas have come here, to Southern Hold, to cut with the sharpness of tongues and wit, a swathe through the other champions to claim the title and that there dinghy." He gestured to the small boat offered up as a prize, anchored alongside the barge. "Or its equivalent in dubloons. All are welcome to watch this duel to the death, in which the losers walk the plank. But first..."

He stepped up on a barrel, calling out, "Iskierka the Irritable! C'erc the Chaotic! Cr'oph the Corrupted! Tenlie the Tigress! Raebeli the Renowned! G'tor the Gaseous! And J'ash the Jaunty! Come. Only one of you will survive!" Turning, he swept down the pier, walking up the gangway to the barge, where he gestured for each of the seven to forum a half circle, facing out toward where the crowd could follow. "There will be three rounds. The top four for the first round will move on, the top two from the second round, and the last round will be the death match. Are you ready? It doesn't matter, because here we go. Any order, but you get just one insult this round. Make it good." He folded his arms across his chest.

[Rowana]

G'tor stalked onto the pier with a deep scowl on his face. He'd dressed in ragged old pants and a faded shirt. His bare feet were callous and dirty, since he hardly wore shoes anyway. Adding to his messy appearance was his shaggy dark hair, and stubbly beard. He'd recently started growing a beard on a whim and it was perfect for the occasion. He could have worn nicer clothes, but sailors didn't need to dress well. Besides, all the more fitting for G'tor the Gaseous! Tervain glared at the audience from his shoulder, as if daring anyone of them to insult her. She'd bite their noses off if they tried. Star, meanwhile, was hiding in G'tor's shirt. She didn't really like all the attention.

G'tor didn't really think he was going to do well at this contest. True, he'd been a fisherman in his youth and learned his far share of nasty swears. He just wasn't sure he could be nasty enough now without laughing and ruining the whole thing. He didn't really care though. This was going to be such fun no matter who won. G'tor sized up the competition with a leer. Most of them were young and hardly threatening, but looks could be very deceiving. He'd hardly met them either.

"Yah call these dogs of the sea?" he spat in mock disgust. "A one-winged wherry could sail better then these mud suckers!"

[Ember]

Iskierka the Irritable? The title actually earned a very faint smirk from the woman. She'd been amused by the idea of a contest solely to insult people. The bluerider had entered on a whim and she intended to actually have some fun out of it. She cared not if she won. Just the excuse to insult anyone in the contest if she wanted to...it was just too good to pass up. She'd escaped from Rhino by waking up rediculously early. She didn't need the distraction if she was going to come up with good insults.

She took a place in the semi-circle, her amusement doubling as she realized most of the others were young people. Wouldn't it be interesting if she made one of them cry? Iskierka let her face fall into a mask of barely supressed anger to suit her moniker. The blades in her thigh sheathes may also scare some people, she realized. Iskierka heard one of the competitors speak and she said, "What is that that speaks? It is uglier than a one-winged wherry by far! I cannot lay my eyes upon it for fear of them rotting out."

There was no trace of mockery in her tone or her body language. Indeed, she meant every word. Were the truthful? That didn't matter. The point was to hurt the other person. What was an exaggeration of the truth in the face of mortifying another? With her insult for the round done she waited to see what the others had to throw at them.

[Ruby]

Tenlie twitched her tiered yellow skirt, shifting a piece of straw stuck to the lace at her knee. The dress was a pastel confection of eyelet lace and ruffles, managing to make Tenlie look both feminine (for the first time in her life, perhaps) and childish. Her only accessory was what appeared to be an odd, faded blue necklace that was actually made of Big Brother, who had refused to be left out of the fun. The outfit was something her mother had sent her when she heard of Ten's Journeyman posting, and something she would not normally have worn under other circumsatnces. It wasn't exactly the most practical thing on the planet, although she loved the ruffles. She knew, however, that it made her look angelic and distinctly female, two things one did not usually associate with the speech of sailors. Ten enjoyed surprising people.

So she smiled beatifically and batted her eyelashes gently until her name was called, baring her teeth a little more dangerously when she was called 'tigress'. Oh, that she liked. Taking her place next to the so-called Iskierka the Irritable (who certainly looked to fit her nickname better than Ten did), she clasped her hands in front of her like a child at a harper's recital and politely allowed a few others to go first while she scoped out the competition.

With big-eyed innocence, she eventually piped up, her tone dripping acid. "Aye," she agreed with Iskierka, then picked out another competitor at random to fix with her terrifyingly innocent gaze. Slipping further into her rough Glasshall accent than usual, she continued, "But I'd bet every flaming Thread in the sky that yer ma did be a tunnel snake and yer da as fertile as a green dragon." Belatedly, Tenlie hoped she didn't get punched.

[Rei]

Cr’oph the Corrupted? The bronzeweyrling couldn’t quite mask the smirk that covered his face at that. Why he had signed himself up for this contest he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know a sharding thing about boats. He had done it mostly because Mavenath was sure he couldn’t do it and he wanted to prove that wherry wrong. He felt his dragon’s amusement coil through his mind like a puff of smoke at that thought.

He had to struggle to keep a straight face as the contest began and he got a good look at his opponents. Darn. Did they have to be all serious? The bronzer rolled his kohl rimmed eyes and idly flicked at one of his beaded braids before stepping forward after Tenlie. Eye for an eye? Sounded good to him. Giving her a sidelong wink he fixed his features into a sneer and leaned toward her.

“Ay thar Lassie. Yarr a skirt wearing sea drinking son of an eyeless tunnel snake. I’d be shutin my trap afore Ye attract every rum swiggin runner in the place.” He threw his head back and laughed heartily after that. Lowering his head he smirked at her. No offense meant of course.

[Shiny]

Standing in the semi-circle, J'ash took note of the contestants' serious expressions and molded his to match with just a touch of self-centered attitude added. He watched as the others insulted each other. When was he going to step in? He wanted to, but no insults were coming to him. Vomit, who was coiled up under his shirt, scratched his stomach while shifting, only adding to the butterflies fluttering inside him. Why did he even sign up for this? He was hardly ever downright mean to people, and he didn't think he was creative when it came to insults. He was Jaunty, yes. Not a bully. But he had to try, and even if he sucked, it was all just for fun. He reminded himself of this as his turn inevitably approached.

He turned to Cr'oph after he'd finished with Tenlie the Tigress, looking him up and down. Perhaps he should have refrained from eating vegetables - scurvy would probably have made him more believable. Either way, it was time to put on the best sailor accent he could.

"'Ay, I wouldn' be talkin' if I was ye! Ye be more ambiguous th'n my Blue-Green dragon, ye dude-lady!"

HEY![/b][/i] Ignoring Craivaruth's angry response, J'ash stared mockingly at Cr'oph with a put-on cocky air, despite the fact that he wanted to laugh/cry. The redhead was scary, and J'ash really didn't want to get his teeth knocked into the recesses of his skull.

[mierce]

Cer’c had thrown on the most sailor-worthy clothes he could find in his trunk that morning, determined to play the part through and through despite it simply being a Talk like a sailor contest. What this meant was that he showed up shirtless in all his scrawny boyish glory (at least his skin was tanned) wearing thin brown pants that had been torn off just below the knee to become shorts, and a muddied maroon sash around his slender waist. His feet were bare and suitably crusted with sand, mud and grass, and a colorful bandana had been wound tightly around his head, doing well to tame his unruly hair into a tangled bush of a hot mess. He hardly looked all that threatening--just chaotic as his new moniker had so succinctly described--so he had taken a brush and a well of ink and drew himself a wicked curly moustache, stubble, and a crooked goatee.

He stalked up to the stage along with the other contestants, shoulders squared, chest puffed up, and ready for a showdown! He exaggeratingly sneered at the others as they gave their lines, the expression intermittently broken by a barely contained snicker. When J’ash finished, he promptly followed up with a sudden burst of laugher. He took one imposing step toward J’ash with his right foot, following with a gesture of his index finger towards his fellow senior weyrling.

“Hidin’ behind yer poor li’l dragon?” he inquired, pausing only to spit something out to the side. “If yer too pussy to tell ‘im--“ an impolite jab of a thumb back towards Cr’oph “--straight that he’s got diseased seaweed for his mop uv a ‘ead, ye best be off before yer piss yerself.”

[Lotty]

Hehehe. Who would ever think that the mindhealer of all people would be one to go around using a foul mouth? Raebeli the Renowned! The one who said goodness and darn and oopsie daisies on a regular basis, as if she really stood a chance...well she thought she did. Just because she never uttered a foul word didn't mean she had never heard one. Come on now, she has worked in the infirmary for how long now? There was no doubt she had heard every bad exclamation in the book, she just never mentioned it before because really language was all about context. It wasn't every day that there was a forum in which you competed to use insults...but as the saying goes, When in Rome...

Whatever the that actually meant....

Like some of the others, most notably Cer'c, she really took the festivities to heart and dressed up for the occasion. Yes, she had one of those frankly adorable tricorn hats on, but more importantly she had the ultimate prop. Her very own Cap'n, given to her by a real life sea captain (maybe, it was still more likely he was a delusional bum), perched on her shoulder shooting glares at the other contestants. The darter was being an awfully good sport about it all, and if things panned out for her, well then her feathered friend would most definitely get a treat. Now only if she could figure out how to tell them all that they all had oedipal complexes in pirate speak.....hmmmmm.

"Argh," she began, her airy voice had to really be strained to get the right effect, "What does yer mother say when ya kiss er with a dirty mouth like that? Suppose she's used ta seadog tongues by now?" Oh oops. Rae blushed after it slipped out her mouth and had to make a conscious effort not to hide her lips behind her hands. She didn't mean to be that mean really! But this was just a game right?

[Requiem]

OOC: Alright, folkets. The winners so far: Tenlie, Cr'oph, Cer'c and Raebeli. Feel free to play the others walking the plank. -snerks- (Don't worry, the water's shallow, hope everyone knows how to swim though.) For the next round, all of the four 'contestants' get to go twice. Same thing as before, a couple sentences is enough. Don't worry about order. I think Mierce might be gone for a little bit though? Not sure, just don't run away with anyone, okie day? Okies!

[Lotty]

Rae could understand being a little apprehensive...maybe just waiting for a moment to settle down while the loser walked the plank. The mindhealer waited as she heard the board waver under the weight and release and then the sound of bodies hitting the water. One splash, two splash, three splash. Frankly, she was a little surprised that she wasn't joining them, but the crowd had apparently spoken, so in the contest she stayed. That hat and bird of hers must have gone a long way and although the darter was hardly telepathic he gave a good screech in agreement and the pair waited.

And waited, and waited....

A moment that was painfully too long had passed and the girl - all revved up and only encouraged by the fact that nobody gave her any trouble for her last comment - decided to take a step forward again. Certainly she shouldn't be the one who had to go again. She just went after all! Oh well, if they were all too afraid of a little girl like her then they all should lose, "Yaaarg..." She took a few authoritative steps, "Whatsamatter with ya landlubbers?" She strode right over to between where Cr'oph and Cer'c were standing and made a quick nod towards their pantal regions, "Got a wee little performance anxiety do we?" She smirked. It didn't really do anything to defame Tenlie but....she could get her next time she supposed.

[Ruby]

Ten needed a moment to compose herself before stepping forward. It had been surprisingly exhilirating to hear the crowd cheer for the winners, then a little scary to hear them scream even more enthusiastically for the losers as they walked the plank. This wasn't an easy crowd. The shouting died a little, and Ten realized in a panic that her next insult was gone. Totally gone. She flailed mentally for a minute until Raebeli stepped up, insulting the men's... manhoods. Or ability. Or something. Ten didn't have a lot of experience in the area, but she did know one thing: no one liked it when you insulted their mothers.

With a wink in the direction of the boys, she rounded on the Mindhealer, cocking her hip in the direction of the audience. "You do be a pretty bright glow there, Mindhealer. Must have taken all yer Ma's smarts with you when you left her oven - I did hear she got a Fire Lizard th' other day, stuck it between her legs, and thought the tingle meant she did be a Dragonrider. Then again..." she added with a pointed glance at Raebeli's shoulder, "That do be no Lizard you've got there. In case you did no notice."

[Rei]

Cr’oph was honestly completely surprised that he was still standing. The red head thought he his insult had been pretty stupid last time. He knew he had barely scrapped past at least. He was obviously better with his knifes than he was with words. Words where M’kai’s department. Not his. The weyrling didn’t feel the least bit sorry for the plank walkers. The water was probably preferable over standing here baking in the sun anyway. Soon it was time to exchange “pleasantries’ again. Sadly the bronzerider found himself at a loss for words yet again. Ugh. This really sucked. Titling his head slightly to make the beads braided into it click together he watched Raebeli waltz up and deliver her line. He chuckled a bit and raised his eyebrow. Seriously?

Tenlie was quick to follow the other woman and with a roll of his shoulders Cr’oph decided he might as well get it over with. After a moments debate he let a laugh ring out. “Firelizard? That twas no Firelizard wench.” He jerked his thumb back at Cer’c. “Unless ye be calling that foul kraken a lizard.” Turning to Cer’c he smiled. Yeah that was the best he could come up with at short notice.

[mierce]

Cer'c barely favored the plankwalkers with anything more than a passing glance (though the water did look quite inviting); he was, of course, still in character and what sailor worth his salt would falter under the threat of walking the plank? He did, however, watch the remaining contestants with interest as they came up with their threats. Really? Mama jokes? It took every fiber of restraint in the boy (a rare thing indeed!) to now snicker in immature amusement.

Instead, he merely chuckled, adjusting his hat and regarding his fellow competitors as if they were mere flecks of dust to be brushed off his arm. "Say what you want, yer overgrown sea urchins," he said rather dismissively to Cr'oph and Tenile, "But Raebeli's Ma had a hootin' time with this here 'kraken'." He folded his hands behind his head and gave a few rather shameless thrust forward, a somewhat ridiculous scene to behold, considering his scrawny physique. "Why, she be askin' for a good schoolin' ev'ry oth'r night!"