The lucky don't care at all (Ember)

[rii]

"Stop it."

F'lix demanded, not for the first time, in a soft tone directed as his moping blue salamandyr. It was enough to have his own set of depressing thoughts, and too much to tack on the press of Simper's mourning over Aliene's death. F'lix never realized how loyal Simper felt toward the late green despite chasing after others. As the saying went, never know what he had until it was gone. Not that F'lix felt a thing for T'san, but Simper's emotions on the matter were difficult to ignore.

So, in attempt to cheer up the sorrowful dark blue, F'lix had brought him along to take another tour of the gather. Offering to buy him a piece of jewelry had no effect. The smells of the cooked food didn't stir the salamandyr. And F'lix had given up, resorting to sitting himself out on the beach apart from the gather. Boots were off, the bottom of his pants rolled up to mid-calf – exposing the tattoo'd lines on his left leg.

"Look." He tried in a compromising tone. He dug his toes into the sand before leaning over one leg to poke at one of the many shells dotting the pale sands. "It's pretty, isn't it?"

Is pretty, came the apathetic response. Simper coiled his tail more tightly around where he was forced to perch on an up-bent knee. At least he had moved his muzzle so he was looking in the general direction of where F'lix pointed.

"Maybe it would make a nice present?"
For who?
"Lilitu?"
Lililove no like. Lililove say fool. Very fool. Say stop being fool.

Growling with frustration, F'lix picked up the shell and rolled it between his fingers. He didn't know what to do. Trying to cheer up someone was.. not in his skill set. "What about Terror?" Terror scared. Always scared. Shell eat him. Oh shards. F'lix lightly shook his head before flinging the sea shell out toward the incoming wave.

[Ember]

T'san was clinging. There really was no other word for it. Since Aliene's death he'd done a lot of it. At random times his depression would get worse and he'd just have to hold something in order to anchor himself to the world. If not for the fact that His was so upset, the brown might have found it amusing. As it was he let the man wrap his arms around his snout was best he could. It would pass soon enough. The length and amount T'san had to cling had dramatically gone down from when it first started. A young blue firelizard tolerantly stood on the hot sand, loving emotions constantly streaming through to His.

Dsoleth was glad he'd gotten T'san to buy the egg. It had hatched a wonderful little blue. It was almost as if he'd been hatched just to help His. The blue was loving, patient, blue, and not a salamandyr. He did have a couple of quirks but overall he was a good companion for His. A blue that wouldn't steal T'san's mind during flights either. He'd been named Nevroti. Finally the brownrider pulled away from Dsoleth and patted the brown's nose lovingly. "Someday, Dso, someday," he said. The words seemed to be the sign that he was somewhat okay again and the brown nudged His hard enough to knock him over.

Good, now go away. Go walk the beach or something, Dsoleth suggested. Back to the usual discreet helpful nudges. His needed to start getting back to normal, which meant no moping. A walk would be good for him. Besides, along the beach there were likely to be less littlings to bother T'san. The brownrider managed a small snort that bordered between amusement and annoyance. Silly beast. He stood up and brushed the sand from his clothes. Nevroti kicked off the ground and flew loose circles around his bonded. T'san pulled out a flask of water. He'd taken to carrying water to cool off Nevroti with since the firelizard hated to be away from him. He placed one palm face up and the blue landed on his hand. He licked T'san's thumb once. The brownrider poured a bit of water on the blue.

Satisfied that he wouldn't be losing this pet too he set off down the beach. Nevroti took up a spot on his left shoulder, huddled close to his neck. The brownrider hadn't walked far when he recognized a familiar form. F'lix. A lump formed in his throat. He remembered his horror at the mere thought of not being connected in some way to the bluerider after Aliene's death. He would have preferred a hundred F'lixs to losing his mandyr. He wanted badly to simply walk away and pretend he hadn't seen the man but when the bluerider threw something towards the surf he went against his better judgement to approach him. The man had two salamandyrs, he knew; a green and a blue. It was entirely possible he'd be faced with one or both of them. He walked closer anyways.

"F'lix," he said blandly. He'd rather not be strangled because he somehow surprised the man. Or rather, he figured Dsoleth wouldn't like that too much. The brown nor the blue firelizard liked his line of thinking so he shifted his attention back to his wingmate (and wasn't it just lovely that they'd been put on the same wing?). He remained conveniently out of reach of the bluerider but he still noticed the blue on the man's knee. Aliene's pseudo-mate. The one that chased others and had earned the green's anger time and again. Yet she'd loved the blue, or at least had obsessed over him. Much to T'san's surprise, the blue's eyes were whirling a sad colour. Surely he wasn't so upset over Aliene, was he?

[rii]

Speak of the devil.

"T'san." There was no hostility in the name. Wing drills had him overly accustom to the other man's voice. Golden eyes flicked over to take in the sight of the brownrider, narrowing in consideration. The maintained distance wasn't lost on the Bendenite, and if he had been in a better mood he would have been amused. As it was, F'lix quietly watched the man come to a halt and let the silence stretch on.

Digging his feet a little further into the sand, F'lix finally let his gaze drop to the pale sands. It felt like he was looking at some sort of ghost, with Simper mourning Aliene – but here was her human half alive and well. Unsettling in a way, and the presence of the brownrider drew a piteous croon from the dark blue. Hate fuzzball? Why Alienelove go? So mad, so sad. Simper sorry. Give shell and she forgive? Come back then?

The stream of dislodged words were directed at T'san, and the blue dived down to the sand to seek out a new shell. F'lix visibly grimaced, not sure if he should stop his salamandyr from searching the sands. He was completely use to humoring the creature and it's silly notions.

"How are you.. ?" The bluerider attempted, gaze flicking back toward the brownrider in question. Cared? Maybe. A little. F'lix had checked on the man when he had been knocked silly during the attack from Fort. He fully blamed the concern on Simper's feelings. Dismissively he waved a hand at T'san in attempt to remove the awkward question. Just the brownrider standing there made him feel inclined to say something. "The firelizard is new."

Oh yeah, that was much better.

[Ember]

It came as a surprise that F'lix dropped his gaze first. The brownrider took it as enough of an invitation to sit where he stood. He'd never cared much if he bothered people. He was only careful around F'lix because he always seemed determined to cause him pain. T'san was the type not to care much if he did get hurt but he wasn't stupid enough to actively seek pain. Since F'lix had looked away first that gave the brownrider a good enough reason to abandon most of his usual care around him.

As the blue salamandyr spoke to him the brownrider closed his eyes for a moment - a long blink, more like - before he felt he could face the salamandyr. The blue had apparently loved his green back which meant he was someone that could sympathize with him. His gaze flicked briefly to F'lix when the salamandyr went searching for shells. T'san picked up a seashell and turned it this way and that to examine it. "If only that could bring her back," he said wistfully. "I'm afraid she won't come back, Simper. She would have wanted you to be happy. Well, that and bite your owner's green."

Actually, he was fairly sure that she would have wanted him to mourn her for a while. It was the kind of twisted logic she employed when it came to the blue. If he mourned her then it showed that he was truly hers. He did know she'd never wish for the blue to be depressed forever. She also really wished Simper would bite Lilitu. She'd hated the green and since both salamandyrs belonged to the same person it had gotten awfully confusing.

At the tentative question, T'san looked at his wingmate. The swift change to a different topic made him slightly amused. "Mm. Dsoleth made me buy an egg. Nevroti, F'lix. F'lix, Nevroti. As for how I am," he continued with a faint grin, "I'm getting better." Despite the short time he'd had the firelizard the blue had helped him more than the brownrider would have guessed. Dsoleth did occasionally know best.

[rii]

Sitting. How very odd. F'lix's brow raise but he reassembled his expression to something more neutral before raising his face to the brownrider. The eyes were still partially narrowed, the hue leaning more toward yellow than the darker gold due to the bright landscape and sun glinting of the waters. A touch of curiosity stirred in F'lix mind. He had never been nice to T'san. Never given the brownrider the impression that he'd ever be a friend. Yet here T'san sat – albeit at a distance – and F'lix had to wonder how far fallen and bad things had gone for the brownrider to look to him for company.

But for all he was lacking in social graces, F'lix wasn't about to kick a man when he was down. Losing someone close, even a mandyr, had to be rough. F'lix wasn't that cruel. Not nice, but he certainly didn't make it a goal to meddle with the emotions of others. For the most part he just wanted people to leave him the hell alone.

No... no, no. Simper had found a small pale disc swirling with shades of pink. The words were soft, but the distress was there. He nudged the shell toward T'san's hand. No. Please.. give. Rather be sad and Alienelove here than happy and Alienelove gone. Tell her. Give her. Please..

Pushing off the sand, F'lix move onto his knees and reached over to scoop his salamandyr up. He ease back to sit on his ankles, a little closer to the brownrider but not that he took any real notice. His eyes had fallen down to the small scarred creature, wondering if it was just his imagination, or just because they were out in the sun, or did Simper look paler than normal. It'd pass. He hoped.

"Better is good. What would we do with a forlorn T'san? Just not right." Quiet, as usual, in his speech and oddly dead-pan as he flicked a glance at his unusual company and his freshly hatched firelizard. What was he suppose to say. It was cute? Nice name? Small talk had never been a skill F'lix possessed – it honestly felt like a bunch of rubbish and lies to him. "So.. would this is where I say something equivalent to how terrible this heat is and I miss the north?"

[Ember]

The firelizard huddled against T'san's neck, watching the salamandyr and his person warily. Nevroti was like a guardian angel to His, but to others? Forget it. He wanted nothing to do with them. All he needed was His and the fact that he was needed in return filled him with bliss...when he wasn't around others, of course. He rubbed his head against the underside of T'san's jaw. He loved His. All would be okay in time, His would see.

The brownrider still didn't see how but perhaps he really did just need time and the affection of the little blue and his dragon. He shifted so that he was sitting crosslegged, a hand resting on each of his ankles as he watched Simper search for something for Aliene. When the blue talked to him again he lightly rubbed his forehead. He was at a loss of what to say to the blue. He could hardly comfort him at that moment.

F'lix, thankfully, saved him from trying. The brownrider picked up the shell and gave it a quick once over. He wanted to just toss it into the surf and be done with it but he couldn't. It was Simper's offering of sorts and so it would be kept. At least for a little while. He tucked it into a pocket and looked out at the waves gently washing at the sandy shore. Hah, so little to talk about with his odd companion. Their salamandyrs might have gotten along just fine but they sure hadn't.

T'san glanced at F'lix with flicker of amusement. The fact that he thought the bluerider was very contradictory still stood. He recalled that the other man had wanted him to be more serious when they first met. Now he was suggesting a semi serious T'san was a bad thing? The next thing the bluerider said made the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. "Mm. Not bad timing, considering the source," he commented dryly. "It is hot. Never thought I'd miss the harsh winters of the North. Easier to get warm then to cool off though."

[rii]

Also not right with the world was a forlorn Simper. The blue had always been nothing but loving. The wallowing had only gotten stronger with T'san's presence and F'lix dare say he felt just a touch ill. He plopped the salamandyr onto his knee. His gaze slid over to T'san's legs as the brownrider made himself more.. comfortable. Staying a while?

A narrowed, inquiring look moved up to other rider's face. Amused, no doubt, at his attempt at being civil. F'lix absently brushed a spot of sand from his calf, his mind an odd blank for once instead of spiraling off with pessimistic thoughts. Simper's lethargy was effecting him more than he was willing to admit. "Considering the source.." F'lix repeated with an arching brow. His tattoo'd foot came out of the sand to flick some of the pale grains at the brownrider. He gave a light snort before loosely wrapping arms around his knees.

"I miss the snow." He said bluntly. Also missed not having two little mindmates tugging and waring with his emotions – but he was certain that kind of information wouldn't be well received. Why still here? F'lix actually coughed at the salamandyr's broadcast. He swiped Simper off his knee and slipped him into his pocket. The created had wanted to know, if Aliene was dead, why was T'san still around? It wasn't fair. F'lix didn't bring light to those words. "Yes, why are you here, T'san."

Shifting the meaning of the words, if only slightly, to avoid the awkwardness multiplying any further. "I doubt it's for an exchange of sentimentals. Is there something you wanted?"

[Ember]

T’san managed a weak smile. “You’re strong suit isn’t conversation,” he responded neutrally. The brown rider noticed the foot more than the sand lightly tossed at him. He picked up a pinch of sand and tossed it back. He tilted his head and asked, “How’d you manage that? Its very interesting.” And it was. He hadn’t seen anything like it before. He thought of a couple of ways it might have been accomplished but there was no way to be certain without F’lix telling him.

He blinked at the admission. “Snow…yes, it would be nice to see snow again. Most of these Southern born folks will never get the chance to see it,” he mused aloud. He used to like snow quite a bit. Snow ball fights never got dull no matter how old you were. Sand fights in the south? Not so much fun. Really, sand in swimming shorts was kind of nasty.

Simper’s comment brought T’san out of his thoughts and he frowned slightly (cue dramatic increase of loving emotions courtesy of a certain blue firelizard). There was here and then there was here. He wasn’t sure which one the blue salamandyr meant. F’lix clarified for him and he shrugged. Why was he there with F’lix? It was a good question. He hadn’t had a particular goal in mind in joining the bluerider. He simply had.

“Beats me. I came over because I felt like it.” The only thing he wanted was Aliene back, but that didn’t need to be said. So he settled for pretending to be like a proper Wingsecond. “I suppose it can’t hurt to ask, just so that I know. Are you taking any of the lessons from the so-called experts?” The brown rider was. He knew he was probably under qualified for his role, despite the trust S’rei seemed to place in him.

[rii]

"Nn, what was your first hint?"

F'lix scrunched up his expression, shooting T'san a rather childish look of displeasure. He then wiggled his bare toes after catching the brownrider's gaze drawn to the inking. All the way up his leg it went until disappearing under the rolled end of pants. Continued where it could not be seen, with the final clawing lines peeking out from under his shirt collar. "A sharp blade, some ink.."

He made a graceful stroke through the air with his hand. Being a touch silly, yes, but all the while he maintained a rather frank expression. There was a certain dry drawl to his words that lacked the typical rasp of growl he typically directed at the brownrider. "Such a free spirit you, doing what you want when you feel like it."

Another small flick of sand at the other man. Oh, playing the wingsecond role. F'lix laid down on the sand and folded his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes as if ignoring the question entirely. "So called experts?" F'lix didn't know much about the other teachers, but F'ur he knew.. more than well enough. "Let's see.. Mi'rah is too craven to take seriously. Alisica is a bit round about the middle at the moment, and .. who was the other one? Dorava. Yes. She thinks F'ur and I plot to kill her.. and I see F'ur enough outside of a set time to get lessons.

"So no, I'm not taking any lessons. But I suppose if my wing-second wants me to, I can.. humor him."

[Ember]

"Actually, as I recall we had quite a long chat the first time we met," T'san told him, a hint of amusement in his tone. "Though you negated that fairly well by threatening to break my neck...and then later on trying to strangle me. Do you have some odd fascination with my neck?" Nevroti curled his tail around the brownrider's neck and glared distrustfully at F'lix. No strangling His! Despite the fact that even His didn't really trust the man, the blue had to admit that he was helping His.

T'san made a thoughtful sound at the explanation of the tattoo. That was interesting. He was mildly curious how high the pattern went but he didn't ask. Normally he would have but he doubted the bluerider would answer. The semi-companiability of the moment was better than violence and he was being deliberately careful not to ruin it. "I wouldn't be me if I wasn't a free spirit." Lately he hadn't been very much himself but that would change in time.

As F'lix laid back the brownrider relaxed a smidge. T'san did indeed think of them only as so-called experts because he had yet to see their skill. Until Aliscia beat his ass into the next week or Mi'rah stumped him beyond belief he'd continue to refer to them as such. He glanced at F'lix as he partially explained why he wasn't taking any lessons. It sounded like at least F'ur knew what he was doing, or at least that's the way F'lix made it sound. He waved his hand dismissively even though the bluerider had his eyes closed and said, "Nah, no need. There's only a few I intend to...suggest go into lessons. And you're not one of them." A few of the ones he was thinking of were actually taking the initiative on their own, thankfully.

[rii]

"Did we?" F'lix opened a single eye to spy at T'san. The bluerider often didn't draw up those memories, and whenever he thought of his wingsecond it only summoned up the irrational rage of waking up next to the man. Worse yet to have unwanted feelings for the man, once that still persisted even after Aliene's death. It was very inconvenient to have that happened when he had carefully put up his shields to keep people out. Damn salamandyrs. "Oh right, by the river.."

The bluerider made a show of eying T'san's neck before closing his eyes once more. "Suppose so. A man's very life is there." He made a little flick of his wrist. Slash, snap, what have you not. A life taken, and why would a dark individual such as himself not have a mild fascination for the vital point.

"And you, dear wingsecond, are you going to be taking lessons from the so-called experts? As far as this humble bluerider's opinion goes, you need it." F'lix again opened an eye to regard the other man. The former fortian didn't seem to have the will to fight unless he absolutely had to.

[Ember]

T'san wasn't too surprised it took a bit for F'lix to remember that first meeting. No doubt the bluerider didn't care to remember such things. The brownrider always remembered the first time he met anyone. It beat him why that was since he preferred to leave the past in the past for the most part. Anything before he came to Selenitas wasn't even touched in his memory. It was a part of his life he couldn't relive and that was fine by him. He looked down at the bluerider when he noticed his gaze on him.

More precisely, on his neck. He rolled his eyes skyward at the answer. Of course. "A man's life is in other parts too (and didn't that sound a little...wrong). Heck, if you want to be symbolic go for the heart. At the risk of sounding cheesy, all a man's hopes and dreams are there" T'san shrugged even though he knew F'lix wouldn't see it. The brownrider reached to stroke Nevroti, actually pulling the compliant blue onto his lap to better pet the firelizard. He was't a very useful pet, not in the fetch-and-carry sense, but he still comforted the brownrider.

He snorted and said, "You'd be right there, bluerider. Hardly fair to be wingsecond and a worse fighter than my wingmates." His tone was rueful as he spoke. T'san was very much aware that he was not a fighter but times called for it. Selenitas was smaller than the northern weyrs and he could no longer choose to be on a thread wing or a fighting wing. He'd have to be both. "So yes, I intend to take lessons. Perhaps someday I'll be able to knock a certain humble bluerider on his ass."

[rii]

"Not interested in that," F'lix responded, his voice still soft but there was a distinct sharp snap to the words. Taking a man's life was one thing, but crushing hopes and dreams was something entirely different. He had been through that fun at Benden and the idea that he would turn and do the same to someone else was.. monstrous. T'san may have a misconstrued impression of him from their first meeting, but F'lix really thought of himself as little more than a blade in the dark when it came to those matters. "After the life that's in the blood, not a man's spirit and soul.."

Wrinkling his nose, F'lix finally opened his eyes and kept them that way, squinted against the sun to regard the brownrider that remained in his company. "Not to mention lazy. You have all the motivation of a wher during noon." His brows raised at T'san's last words. A soft snort as he extended his tattoo'd foot to push at T'san's shoulder. "Lucky you he's already on his ass. Maybe you should call yourself a victor now before he decides to throw you out into the surf for good measures."

And he would too, T'san wasn't that much bigger than him. Although, that would require him getting wet and F'lix did ever-so-much like staying dry. He pushed again, this time at T'san's knee with his bare foot as if to spur him into doing something about it. A little too much like their first meeting where he had played with the brownrider to see what reactions he'd earn. At least this time the atmosphere was different, and F'lix certainly didn't seem interested in snapping T'san's neck. Still the contact with the brownrider was brief and little, with a foot and not as personal as it might be with a hand.

[Ember]

The tone was slight but it alerted T'san to his misstep. He glanced at the bluerider but found no immediate threat to himself so he let it pass. It was interesting to note that the man wasn't unnecessarily cruel. Just generally antagonistic. At the mention of being lazy the brownrider dipped his head in agreement. Yes, he was rediculously lazy. There was no motivation for him to be anything else. If he finished paperwork...he only had more to look forward to. If he practiced fighting then he'd be called upon to fight. Ah well. In the end it needed doing.

The physical contact surprised him and he eyed the foot that pushed against his shoulder with slight amusement before turning his gaze to F'lix's face. "Lucky me indeed. Although I think the bluerider should consider his threats better. In this heat getting wet would be welcome. Burrying me in sand would be a far more effective way to put me in my place," he mused aloud. Without really noticing it, F'lix had managed to drag out the jokester in him and at the push against his knee the brownrider scrambled to his feet.

As Nevroti resettled on his shoulder T'san watched the bluerider for any reaction. Whatever he saw - or didn't see, as the case may be - amused him and he grinned slightly. "On that note, humble bluerider, this wingsecond ought to be on his way. See you at wing drills," he said and was on his way after a brief pause to hear anything F'lix might have said. His blue firelizard rubbed against his cheek as he went and the brownrider had a semblance of happiness.

[rii]

It was threat enough to him. The bluerider didn't like being soaked to the bone. Held more true to the nickname his weyrmate had given him than would seem possible. Getting wet and having sand sticking persistently to his skin was equally unpleasant. Then there was the whole matter of being stuck at the hold until either his clothes dried so he could between back to the weyr, or taking a long straight flight back to let the air dry his clothes..

F'lix blinked as T'san hastily stood. Facial expression smoothing, F'lix simply regarded the brownrider through half-lidded eyes in silent assessment. He placed his foot back on the sand, burying toes under the pale grains. Leaving so soon, so abruptly, when F'lix had dared to guess that they had been getting along well enough. He couldn't stop the irrational flash of anger that burned inside his chest, but did well to keep it from showing externally.

Why bother.

The bluerider threaded his fingers behind his head, tilting it back and closing his eyes to pay no further mind to his departing wingsecond. Had made the effort to try and be friendly, to not be so closed off, and the guy gets up to trot away because he was.. boring? F'lix would be lying if he didn't admit it stung a little. Hated letting people in, even that little bit, and getting that rejection in return. Pair that with the feeling of Simper's spiraling depression and he felt ill.