Collision. Ow. [Kaegan]

[glamourie]

He was nervous.
He was also nauseous.
And he was pretty sure that the top of his head was about to blow off.

It was for that reason that R’wign found himself wandering to Kaegan’s weyr. What she could actually do, he didn’t know. Maybe he just wanted to talk to someone who didn’t already have a child and might have come concept of how he felt. K’lir had Kahrelir - and for all the world, he was in love with his son, totally and completely enraptured of the child with the belief that he could do no wrong. Ka’rys liked all children but he had Kalerary and he was about to have another one. Neither of them was ideal to go to with his nervousness about… about having a child. Dragonriders had more options than most; they could foster. He didn’t want to, and he had the impression Meira didn’t either. Which meant he had to come to terms with his anxiety. All in all, he didn’t have many people left to turn to. M’ta and him didn’t discuss things of that intensity. It wasn’t right. M’ta would just be uncomfortable, R’wign was sure, and he wouldn’t make his friend feel awkward. Kalierre - the person he trusted most on Pern - was still hurt. She wasn’t a viable resource in her condition, and he didn’t want to risk making her more uncomfortable. So… that left the only other friend he had.

Unfortunately, Kaegan was probably busy. Too busy for his childish worries. If he wasn’t on the verge of an emotional breakdown, the brown weyrlingrider probably wouldn’t have dared to bother her with anything so childish. Or, what he deemed childish. But… he was on the verge of hysterics, and he didn’t want to lose his cool in front of someone he didn’t trust. That left Kaegan of all the people in his life, as possibly the only person who had any hope of getting through to him. So he’d dressed in a pair of loose fitting black slacks, a green tunic, bare feet, and stalked through the rider weyrs, down to the senior queen’s weyr, with every intention of talking to the Senior Weyrwoman and possibly interrupting her.

At least, he would’ve run the risk of interrupting if not for the fact that when he went to open the door to the human entrance of the weyr, he found it locked. Worse than that, his face smacked into the hard surface and he fell backwards, landing flat on his butt right outside the door. Wincing, R’wign brought one hand up to his nose and found it bleeding. His face flushed red and he pinched his nostrils shut, held his head forward. He didn’t have any kind of gauze to apply proper pressure to stop the bleeding, though. Shards, shards, shards. The flush to his cheeks got worse, and R’wign reached his good hand forward to knock on the edge of the door awkwardly. If Kaegan wasn’t even there he was going to look like a serious fool.

Are you all right?!

I’ll be fine.

The brown was sprawled out on the sunning sands outside -- but his anxiety was clear to anyone who viewed him. Both of his tails were flicking back and forth in agitation and he dug his claws into the sand beneath him before swiveling his head up toward the Weyr. Nervously, he crooned, and then -- Excuse me, Millieth…? Are you free… by chance…? I do not mean to disturb… His nervousness was evident. Talking to queens was not one of his strong points. Even Hepaticath he did not dare address if it could be avoided, and he’d never spoken to the junior queen as a result. To actually speak to Millieth was frightening to him, but His was bleeding, His was hurt - he didn’t want to make it worse by being afraid.

[Tashe]

Tapping her heel on the ground, Kaegan slowly drew her quill across the request form, signing her name and granting whatever it was being asked for. Her hand had been declared healed, as healed as it was going to get at least. She'd have a long time before it gained back most of its mobility, as for now... she could make a fist and twist her wrist around with little pain, but anything finer than basic movements had been lost when the knife slid through her wrist. The Healers had said she might never regain the entire range of movement, but she was happy that C'leon hadn't gifted her with something far worse. Putting down her quill, the Weyrwoman sat back against her chair and crossed her legs with a sigh. Possibly the worst side effect of her injuries, was having to improve her right handed writing skills. She was able to write with both hands, but she always had favored her left, her practiced signature was now reduced to that of a child's.

Startled from her thoughts, Kaegan glanced toward her door. Had somebody... knocked? Pushing herself out of her seat, the Senior Weyrwoman rubbed the small of her back before sauntering over with another sight. Unlatching her lock, Kaegan pulled open her door to be greeted with empty air. "Wha-- Oh my Faranath!" She lept forward and bent over the downed Weyrling, grimacing as she bit the side of her thumb gently. Normally she never had her door locked during the day, but as of late she had been feeling sick and fatigued, and she really hadn't wanted anyone to come storming in to bother her. Which... apparently R'wign had intended to do. Oh she felt horrible about her actions now. "Oh dear, oh dear. Here let me help you." Offering a hand to her friend, Kaegan fidgeted. She hoped her door hadn't broken his nose. "Lets get that bleeding stopped. Oh dear, I'm so sorry."

Fluttering her wings slightly, Millieth shifted her head so she could better watch Her's. Kaegan moved out of her sight range to answer someone at the door, but her attention was disturbed by a Dragon, one that did little to hide his nervousness in his 'voice. Shifting her position so that she could swing her head over the ledge, the Queen looked around for the source of the voice. She vaguely recognized it, having stored it in her memory because of something to do with her Rider. Flicking her vision downward she caught sight of a Brown... a Brown with two tails. Ah yes, wasn't he bonded to that one male who insisted on being so... odd. Withdrawing her head she nestled back down with a yawn. /I have little to do. Is there something you need?/

[glamourie]

“I’m okay--” R’wign said, but the words sounded more like Mookie than what he was trying to say. His hand remained clasped firmly over his nose to try and slow the bleeding, as little droplets of scarlet dripped down onto his palm, and off his wrist to the floor. The mob of fire lizards that usually accompanied him all swept into Kaegan’s weyr through the crack in the door, and his little cream-colored feline circled around his legs, mewling curiously. R’wign ignored Empress, and looked up at Kaegan with a weak grin. His clean hand (the other now had blood on it) went up to take her offered one. The brown weyrlingrider carefully pulled himself to his feet, and then he leaned his head forward again before gesturing with his free hand. Still sounding highly nasal (despite his attempts to avoid it), he gestured into her weyr - inside, as indication of what he meant. “Do you have any gauze?” He needed to put some between his gum and upper lip to apply pressure upward - that way the bleeding would stop more quickly. Though his nose stung, he was sure it was fine - just a side effect from running into the wall too quickly. At least he hadn’t busted his lip in the process.

Peachy. Just peachy. He’d made a total fool out of himself in front of the one person at Selenitas he had actual interest in (though he wouldn’t ever act on it -- he wasn’t really worthy of her, was he?) and to top it off, he made himself look even more repulsive by busting up his nose. If he hadn’t been mortified by his appearance before, he certainly would have been then. Part of R’wign wanted very badly to curl up and die in a corner, out of sight. She probably thought he was ridiculous - or hated him. Probably the latter. Shards, could he have been more stupid? -- His worries were abruptly halted by a definite sense of insecurity that, fortunately, R’wign kept off of his face. Just barely. He didn’t want Kaegan to know how hideous he thought he looked. She’d probably have pitied him and the last thing he needed from her was pity.

His mindmate, still slightly nervous, twitched both of his tails and crooned quietly. Only if she was listening would Millieth pick up the sound. He was usually quite outgoing, but queens frightened him - half spawned by R’wign’s belief that he (R’wign) was not good enough to be with a gold rider. Oddly enough, he had no qualms about Check Chasing if he wanted -- after all, in R’wign’s opinion, Check was the best dragon ever. The same was true in reverse, though his bonded rarely believed him of late. Ever since the attack, he’d been so nervous, so upset…

I was wondering… do you… I mean; I’m sorry if R’wignmine is bothering Yours. So is he, he doesn’t mean to be a bother, he said immediately, but he didn’t mean it; he didn’t think R’wign was ever a bother, and he did not understand why R’wign thought he was, And I apologize for disturbing you, but I was wondering -- do you know why humans sometimes aren’t happy to be egg heavy? R’wignmine couldn’t explain it to me. He tried, but I didn’t understand. He said it’s not always expected when they Fly, but that doesn’t make sense to me at all, and he is really nervous and upset. If anyone could know why, I thought maybe it’s you… She was Senior Queen, after all, and R’wign continually reminded him that Millieth was also his mother -- so that meant she knew most everything, right? Humans thought their mothers were the best, R’wignHis certainly did, so his must have been, too. It only made sense!

[Tashe]

Wobbling slightly as Ellie, followed by Crash, Hazard, Collision, Stumpy, Grouch, and Roxie flew past her and into her Weyr, Kaegan sighed as she heard Azaran squawk unhappily at the intrusion into his domain. Their appearance wasn't entirely a surprise, but the feline's entrance was. "You just keep attracting pets... what is it... eight now?" Leaning back slightly as she did her best to pull him upright. Once he was on his feet, Kaegan tugged at his hand gently with a small laugh. "You're asking the most accident prone Weyrwoman who might have ever lived on Pern if she has gauze?" She tried to make light of the situation, even though it was clearly her fault for locking her door. He had to have had something he really wanted to talk about to smack his nose that hard in the attempts of trying to enter her weyr.

Pushing her door open, the Weyrwoman re-entered to see both Dash and Azaran puffed up unhappily on her bed. She knew normally, they'd be happy to see the others, but they got a little sore when other Flitters or Mandyrs intruded suddenly. "Uhh.. take a seat anywhere. Theres a fire in the firepit if you're a little chilly." Shaking her head, Kaegan walked past the bed and made a bee-line toward one of her dressers. It was true, she was one of the most accident prone Goldriders ever, and because of that she kept a good amount of padding and gauze close by. Sliding one of the drawers toward her, Kaegan shifted the contents of the wooden box around before pulling out a handkerchief and a small roll of the required material. "I really am sorry. I should put a note on my door when I lock it... though I have to say, only you and Sara have that barreling into rooms quirk so far." Sliding the drawer closed, she crossed back over to R'wign and handed him the supplies. "The bathing room is through that door if you want to clean up." She pointed to the door near the fireplace.

Stretching as she listened to Checkoth babble, she let her tail trail over the edge of the landing area. She waited quietly until he was done speaking, before addressing him again. /We are used to his antics by now. You do not need to apologize./ She paused slightly, unsure how to answer what he was asking of her. /If you want to, you can come up instead of skulking around down there./ If that didn't buy her some time than she didn't know what would. Shifting so that there was just enough room for the Brown if he was going to come up, Millieth crossed her ankles with a huff. How to explain... how to explain. /There is a big difference between Human hatchlings and Dragon hatchlings. Human mothers and fathers have to look after their hatchlings for years, while Queens like myself don't have to worry about our hatchlings after the eggs have hatched. We leave young ones like you to the care of your bondmates./ She tilted her head before laying it down on her front legs. /Eggheavy humans don't always want to have to watch their hatchlings. And apparently, human hatchlings hurt when they come out./

/And Yours was right. Unlike dragons, human females can choose to 'fly' whenever they want, but sometimes they feel like flying suddenly. And since all human females are able to have hatchlings, unlike Greens who can't have hatchlings since only Queens can, human matings can sometimes accidentally lead to having a hatchling./ She couldn't attest to the accuracy of her statements, she believed whatever she ended up saying, whether or not it was the exact reason the Brown was looking for.

[glamourie]

R’wign grinned weakly, fingers still clenching the nostrils of his nose to try and slow the bleeding some. He did not lean his head back as some might have, because that was a good way to cause the blood to back up on him - he didn’t want that. Instead he was leaning forward and once he could put some pressure on it, he’d be fine, he was sure. It wasn’t broken or anything like that. He could tell from the stinging sensation. Just a typical nosebleed caused by pressure, happened to every kid growing up (and him more than once). Her question about his pets made him raise his eyebrows, and he followed Kaegan soundlessly into her weyr. Both Azaran and Dash received an apologetic look from the brown weyrlingrider, and he turned back to Kaegan before shaking his head back and forth - a decidedly no fashion. At the same time, he curled his palm under to catch any blood droplets (it would’ve been rude to just bleed all over her floor) from his nose. “I have nine,” he explained weakly. “Seven flits- Crash and Grouch from the Gather, and you know the rest by now. Then Lennae and -” He rubbed his nose on the back of his hand, pausing briefly before continuing, “- Sel’n decided to give me felines as some practical joke. Monster stays in the infirmary and I don’t know what to do about this little menace just yet.”

As if on cue, the creamy feline gave an audible purr and took to circling R’wign’s ankles. She ignored the fire lizard and salamandyr as if they didn’t exist; likewise, so did R’wign’s flits, though Ellie was polite enough to offer a musical flute in greeting. The flying fair all settled themselves away from the bed, giving the salamandyr and flit their own personal space. Ellie flapped her wings, stretched, and turned to look at her bonded. Her eyes whirled rapidly, her nervousness obvious; he was upset, he was hurting, and she didn’t like that at all. The only thing that kept the gold from perching on R’wign and trying to take care of him, pamper him until he was not hurting, was that he was trying to hold a conversation. He didn’t like it when she fussed at him while he conversed. She was intelligent enough to understand that.

Taking the offered gauze, R’wign smiled his thanks and carefully pushed some of it up between his gum and front lip. He clenched his nostrils closed again and applied pressure upward with his other hand, while his free one remained curved under enough to catch any blood droplets. Kaegan’s apologies had him shaking his head, but he couldn’t speak in that position to inform her she owed him nothing of the sort; he should’ve thought to knock, it was rude to just come barreling in, even if he was close to a panic. He was taught better than that, and he knew better. Shards, he even kept his own room locked (though more out of fear of Lennae than anything else; after tying the greenrider up naked in the main hall, he had no idea what she would attempt as revenge). It was foolish of him, and he deserved what he got… even if he was very embarrassed.

R’wign waited until he was sure that the blood had stopped, then removed the gauze from his mouth. “You shouldn’t apologize for being cautious,” he said with a slight smile. “Besides, I should’ve knocked. Give me a moment to clean up…?” And then he belined for the bathing cavern, without waiting for a response. It wouldn’t take him long. He was, thankfully, careful not to bleed all over Kae’s nice floor.

The invitation startled him and Checkoth swiveled his head around to look at Millieth’s weyrledge nervously. His claws dug into the sand and he looked around, back and forth, in worry. What if he offended her? What if he didn’t go and she found that offensive? He didn’t know how to react. But -- His was up there, and he was hurt, so… There wasn’t an option. He wanted to be closer to his. Flapping his wings, he took off and glided carefully up to the ledge before landing as far from Millieth as he could, with a surprising amount of grace; he’d been practicing his landings, he had, and he was getting quite good at them. His wings snapped to his sides and he crooned his greeting, but did not dare interrupt her explanation. Both eyes whirling, the brown sprawled out in a sphinx pose, listening to every word Millieth said with a keen interest. His head cocked to the side inquisitively, and he considered her words very seriously.

But aren’t hatchlings always a very good thing? The Elliegold thinks they are. She is really happy that Mine is having a hatchling, and Ciceroth and His are happy that Hepaticath is having one as well. So why is the MeiraWherhandler not happy? She wouldn’t have to watch it all the time because R’wignmine would help her, he would, and I know that he is very good at helping with hatchlings. He took good care of me, you see, and so many of the little cousins like him - it can’t just be us. Maybe a human baby would want to look to him too. Then the MeiraWherhandler would not have to watch the human baby at all?

Oblivious to Checkoth’s conversation to Millieth, R’wign finally came out of the bathing caverns a moment later, his hands and face freshly rinsed and dried. He bowed his head politely before murmuring a quiet “Thanks” and shuffling over to Kaegan’s side.

“So… um… Are you busy…?”

[Tashe]

Plopping down onto the couch in front of her fireplace, Kaegan yawned, wiggling down into the fur blanket that she had thrown over the top of the couch earlier on. It felt good to be sitting near the fire, the weather had taken a colder turn as of late, announcing the presence of winter. She'd have to take down the shells and leaves on her Runner's stalls and replace them with snow flakes made of paper. Winter was her least favorite season of them all, having had to suffer through the cold winter months of the Northern Continent for most of her life. At least Selenitas's winter was mild, it made the season more tolerable. Crossing her legs, Kaegan eyed the kettle hanging over the flames. Had she put water in it? Leaning forward slightly, Kaegan watched the nozzle, cuddling back into the furs after she was sure there was steam.

She felt a pressure on her shoulder but before she could look it slid down into her lap. Dash had come over to sit with her, and a trill alerted her to Azaran who had curled up in the blanket behind her shoulder. She had been a small bit distant from the Brown ever since the beach incident, but the Brown hadn't noticed, and she knew she shouldn't blame him. It would have happened eventually. Running a finger down his back as he tucked his tail over his head, she smiled as he yawned. She continued to stroke the Salamandyr until she heard R'wign exit the bathingroom, the Weyrwoman turned slightly to offer him a smile. "You feeling better now?" Patting the couch beside her, she offered the Weyrling a seat. "You're my golden excuse to take a break from paper work. Request forms will be the death of me!" Stretching her arms Kaegan let them drop to her sides after a moment. "So, whats up?"

Tilting her head so that she could settle her gaze on he smaller male, Millieth twitched her nostrils before answering. /Because human females are fickle. Hatchlings are good things, but humans aren't always willing to accept tha-- wait. Yours sired a hatchling?/ She began to rumble in the dragon equivalent of laughter. The idea of R'wign being a father gave the gold a fit of the chuckles. She couldn't wait to hear how Her's would react to the news if the boy told her. /Oooh~ Anyways. I'm sure that Meira will get over it, I bet she was just surprised. She will get happier, don't worry./

[glamourie]

“Yeah, I am. My nose stopped bleeding,” R’wign said triumphantly, and indicated his nose with his index finger. It still smarted, but -- what had he expected, he’d run into a door. That generally happened with nose-to-wood collisions. At least Kaegan didn’t seem angry with him, though. He was worried that his… attempt to barge in would be taken badly. Truthfully, he should have thought that action through. Of course the Senior Weyrwoman’s door would not be open to him; he wasn’t even… worth noticing. Worth acknowledging. Part of him wanted to leave; coming was obviously a bad idea. Even though he wanted to talk to Kaegan, he shouldn’t have bothered her. He could have found someone else to vent to - someone who wasn’t as busy as she surely was. Her words just reinforced the fact that he was disturbing her (though doubtlessly, Kaegan meant to prevent him from assuming that by her statement). “I didn’t mean to disrupt your work…” He wanted to tack her title on the end of his statement, but remembered her fussing in the infirmary when he did so; only that knowledge and a sense of self-discipline kept him from acting on his anxiety.

The offered seat was eyed nervously, but R’wign walked over nonetheless and perched; he barely looked to be sitting at all from his position. It wasn’t that comfortable and a casual viewer might have taken him to be keeping open the option of fleeing at any time. He would have, too, if he thought that Kae wouldn’t take extreme offense at him running off on the spur of the moment with any excuse as a viable one to avoid inconveniencing her. He’d already caused enough trouble by showing up to start with. Sticking around and elaborating wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, he supposed… He’d flee the first chance he got and claim it was an infirmary shift coming up. Kaegan probably wouldn’t know the difference, since maintaining the infirmary wasn’t one of her responsibilities.

“I uh… I guess I wanted to talk to someone who was… not directly in a situation like mine. I wanted to vent a little, and you’re the only friend I have who probably won’t find it offensive,” R’wign said, squirming slightly in his discomfort. Then again, maybe she would find it offensive. It was entirely possible, and frightening, at that. What if she hated him…?

Squirming downward (decidedly intimidated by being looked at by a gold), Checkoth crooned. He did. I don’t think he meant to Catch MeiraWherhandler, it just sort of happened. He was really confused. Then she told him that she was egg heavy, and now they’re going to have a hatchling. R’wignmine says humans only clutch one at a time. One egg doesn’t seem like it would be that hard to care for, even I could remember to do that, he explained, his eyes whirling his confusion. I hope she gets over it. I hope R’wignmine does too. A hatchling would be a very good thing, I think. R’wignmine seems to like being silly so often. Maybe a hatchling will make him take things more seriously. It seemed logical enough to him. How someone Caught someone else without meaning to was something he didn’t understand entirely, but he knew how R’wignHis was feeling, so he’d justified it in his mind. It made no sense, but if R’wignHis said it was so, it must have been. He would never have lied to him.

Squirming, R’wign glanced at Checkoth on the ledge, then back toward Kaegan. His fingers laced together as he clucked his tongue, and then said softly, “Apparently, I’m going to be a father.”

[Tashe]

"Nooo. Don't apologize, I was going to take a break anyways, and now I really have a reason too." Now that she thought of it, she'd have probably taken a nap, something she normally wouldn't do during the day. Using the tip of her boot to remove the other by way of pressure on the heel, Kaegan kicked them off and pushed them under the small table with her big toe. She'd put them away later since she didn't feel like getting up from the warmness around her. Retracting her legs after picking Dash up, she crossed them beneath her, replacing the Mandyr on the crook of her knee. Turning her body to face him as he sat down, Kaegan gently scratched at an itch behind her ear. "I am all ears R'wign. Vent as much as you like." She nodded slightly, letting her hands drop into her lap and folding them. But she moved a second later, making sure the Brown didn't fall as she got up. "Would you like some Tea?" Moving over to one of the shelves near the firepit, Kaegan busily began adding the tea ingredients in the kettle.

She shuffled her wings slightly, opening them to try and catch some of the shifting rays. /Some humans can have two hatchlings. But Human females don't lay eggs, they give birth to live hatchlings. They come out crying and sticky, and small./ Narrowing her eyes slightly as Checkoth continued to shift nervously, Millieth sighed before redirecting her gaze elsewhere. /Or maybe having a hatchling will make him act even more 'silly'. But maybe you are right, maybe having a hatchling will be good for him. Make him more responsible./ She yawned and snapped her wings closed. /Humans are odd creatures, I do not believe that Dragonkind will ever fully understand them./

She turned around in surprise, making the cups on the tray rattle quietly. "You... a father?" She blinked. It was hard to picture the Weyrling as a father, especially with all the stunts he had pulled in the past, but as soon as it sunk in she offered him a smile. "Oh my, R'wign. This is big news!" She set the tray down on the table, before returning to the shelf for the cubed sugar she stored there. "When did you find out? Tell me all about it." She sat back down, the tea would need to steep for a few minutes before it was ready to drink.

[glamourie]

When people told him don’t apologize, it was usually an indication that he needed to. At least, that was his experience. R’wign kept his mouth shut intelligently and squirmed. Did he want tea? Not really; nothing personal, but he’d had enough of that back in his own weyr (being an herbalist, R’wign made spectacular tea). However, since Kaegan was offering, he was polite enough to bob his head ‘yes’ - he didn’t want to offend her by fussing, even if he didn’t really want anything to drink. Or really to put anything in his stomach. The pain from his nose and his own nerves made him highly likely to be sick if he ingested anything. He made a mental note to drink very little of the tea, and hope that Kaegan did not take offense. It wasn’t personal - it really wasn’t. Then again, tea might have been good for him; maybe it would make him relax. He doubted it, but if there was a chance, it was worth taking… maybe it would quell some of his nerves with talking to Kae herself, too. Some part of him really felt awkward trying to talk to her, probably because he was attracted to the gold rider and just knew nothing would ever come of it. Bad feeling, that.

Her response to his revelation made him blush slightly and he looked down at his fingers, examining his cuticles nervously. He wasn’t sure what to make of her sudden start; did she think he’d be a terrible father? He did, but that wasn’t something R’wign intended to reveal to anyone, especially not Meira, but Kaegan either.

“I uh… found out about a sevenday ago. It’s still sinking in…”

Literally. Actually, R’wign felt like someone had beat him with a hammer. He was… slowly starting to come around to the idea of fatherhood, but truthfully, he was nervous beyond words. He was also, strangely, afraid that Kaegan would hate him. Meira was so young - practically a child herself. What if people blamed him for her pregnancy? She certainly hadn’t gotten there on her own. She didn’t blame him (reassuringly), but that didn’t mean others wouldn’t judge him for it. R’wign fidgeted awkwardly again. What if they did? What if Kaegan did? It wasn’t entirely his fault - not really. But it was in part, and a lot of times, people didn’t see fairly. Was she such a person? He didn’t know. It worried him.

“Uhh. It’s kind of awkward. Meira-- she’s a wherhandler and an apprentice healer-- her wher Ran and… yeah.” It was very important to R’wign that Kaegan understand he wasn’t in a relationship with Meira. Not because there was anything wrong with her, but because that would’ve been an awkward misunderstanding. “She’s about to second trimester. She’s… really young.” Sixteen was way too young to be having babies at the Weyr, but in a hold it was almost normal. At least, as far as he recalled it was normal. Still, Meira felt much younger than him, even if she was really mature. “There’s not a lot to tell. I’m… not sure what to feel. I just - I needed to tell someone who wasn’t - I’m afraid.” There. It was out in the open. “I’m terrible with children until they can walk and talk on their own. I always feel like I’m going to break them…”

Live babies? Not eggs? Soooo odd. Checkoth’s eyes whirled, but he didn’t debate; if Millieth said it, it must have been true. R’wignmine is very nervous, he admitted. Not because of the time or anything. He said a baby would take a lot of time, but that doesn’t frighten him. He’s afraid Yours will think less of him now, but -- that’s not why he came, either. He’s really afraid he will be a bad father. He keeps saying he feels like he’ll break any human baby he touches. It sounded so silly to him since R’wign had taken care of him when he was a baby, but his mindmate insisted it was different, and though he couldn’t understand how, he didn’t debate. I don’t know how to help him feel better. I told him I think he’s the best, and he said I’m supposed to say that…

[Tashe]

It wasn't a surprising that he was having trouble accepting fatherhood, she believed she would have a hard time accepting it as well if she ever got pregnant. Getting up as the kettle whistled, Kaegan busied herself with preparing the tea. Flightlust, well Runlust in this case, a semi-unforeseen consequence of being bonded so closely with your partner. She herself knew of them personally, and not just through her dragon. "Ahh... Meira of... Blue Meisk? If I'm remember correctly" She had recently looked over a complete list of Wherhandlers, having had to make a few payments for the rebuilding of their apartments. Transferring the kettle onto the tray, the Weyrwoman placed the filter cloths into the tea cups before pouring the liquid itself into them.

/He should not worry about Mine thinking less of him. She knows its a way of life that you sometimes have to deal with./ Using on of her wrists, she scratched an itch on her eyeridge. /There were many times when Mine was afraid, or scared. The best way I could calm her was just to be there. She knew I'd always be there for her./

Licking the side of her thumb as a drop of hot tea got on it, Kaegan used her other hand to remove the filters after they had done their job. Cradling her cup in her hands, she sat back down, closer to R'wign this time. "Its okay to be nervous about having a baby. Faranath knows I'd be in the same boat if I found out I was pregnant." She paused. "I'd be more worried if you weren't a little jittery given the circumstances." Taking a sip of tea, the Goldrider sighed before giving the Brownweyrling a smile. "Anti-stress tea. I got it at the Gather... it does wonders." Clearing her throat she went back to the topic at hand. "Not everyone feels comfortable around babies. You more than anyone probably know how fragile they are... but, you have Meira as well if you intend to not foster the baby out. You won't be alone, you'll go through the process together." She hoped her assumptions were right, that the two of them would look after the baby if they intended to not foster. Placing a hand on his arm she smiled again. "And don't you have friends who have had or has children? I'm sure they'd be willing to help and give you tips. And of course, I'm here as well. I often helped look after my little cousin when she was a baby." She gave him a soft pat on his arm before withdrawing her hand and taking another sip of tea.

[glamourie]

“Yes, Blue Meisk. Wherhandler. Apprentice healer,” R’wign replied, and shifted his weight uncomfortably. Meira was barely sixteen. As far as he was concerned, she was still a child. He felt lousy for… for making her have one, even though theoretically it wasn’t his fault. Theoretically. He just kept reminding himself of that fact, so as to take away the guilt. Guilt was most assuredly not a good reason to enter into parenthood. Not when he wanted to be a decent father. He had a lot of odds stacked against him though, starting with a habit of being immature. When the chips were down, he was responsible -- see the infirmary for emphasis -- but he wasn’t used to being responsible all the time. And he’d have to be with a child. He owed it to that baby, unborn though it was, to learn to be an adult at all times. Most of his playfulness would have to be put away. The skirts, dresses and obnoxious behavior - it would have to be halted permanently. He had to set an example, be what his unborn child needed. He was terrified of failing…

Eyes following Kaegan’s hands, R’wign tilted his head to the side. She was making the tea - but watching it was more therapeutic than focusing on the rampant thoughts in his mind, all of which were on the verge of making him nauseous just from too much thought. Was there a way to turn off thinking? If there was, he wanted to know: it would’ve been very convenient in order to stifle the insecurities raging in his mind like the coming of a storm.

It was good to know his reaction was natural, though. Meira was scared, but -- Meira had to give birth to the child. What did he have to do? Very little until it was born. Watch over Meira, try to make sure she had everything she needed. He almost felt as though there was a weight on his shoulders, crushing downward, pushing him deeper toward the ground. How did parents handle the responsibility of a little life depending entirely on them, being helpless and needing of someone else’s care? How did they deal with the knowledge that their behavior set the example for what that child expected in life? How was he supposed to know if he was doing it right? Children didn’t come with instruction manuals or any way of knowing if he was going about it the wrong way. His own childhood hardly qualified as an example, seeing as he detested his parents. He had Ka’rys and K’lir, yes, who might be able to give him advice, but -- but he wasn’t them. K’lir was practically a woman so maternal instinct came natural. Ka’rys… Ka’rys was different. It seemed to be like breathing to him. How was he supposed to mimic that?

“She doesn’t want to foster. I gave her that option - I mean. She came to me, just to tell me… said I didn’t have to do anything if I didn’t want, but that’d be - it would be wrong for me not to, wouldn’t it?” He shook his head, then answered himself, “Yes, it would. Mmm. So we’re going to try - it’s awkward though, since she’s a wherhandler and is only awake at night. We haven’t figured out anything about what to do yet. I think it’s still sinking in. Ka’rys has a daughter, Kalerary -- she’s almost nine. You might’ve seen her in the infirmary. Her face was horribly scarred during the attack, all down the right side. K’lir’s got a mute son Kahrelir… he’s pretty close to perfectly behaved. Cezine would be ideal to ask but Cezine --” Cezine didn’t survive. R’wign frowned, then bowed his head before shyly looking up at Kaegan. “Would you really want to babysit our child…? Don’t you have a lot on your plate…? I shouldn’t even be dumping this on you --” Anti-stress tea… maybe he should drink some… “I’m sorry.”

Looking shyly over at Millieth, Checkoth crooned. R’wignmine very much likes you and Yours, he explained, his tails twitching independently of one another. The little brown squirmed, then looked off toward the other weyrledges. Her opinion matters more to him than most people’s. It has since as long as I can remember. He says it’s nothing but I think it’s something; he likes her the most of everyone here. He likes her like he liked the harper, but he’s a lot more shy with Yours. The harper he wasn’t shy with…

[Tashe]

"I agree, it will be tough working out a schedule." A moment passed and the shuffling of wings grew louder as Azaran hopped along the back of the couch, coming to a rest between them. Offering her Firelizard a glance, Kaegan took another sip of her tea before shaking her head slightly with a smile. "Of course I would. I'd be more than willing to babysit on occasion." Returning her gaze back onto R'wign the Weyrwoman shifted slightly as she moved to sit cross legged. "Oh please, really. This is what friends are for. If a person can't go to a friend and tell them about uncertain patches of their life, then goodness me." She bobbed her head and put a finger in the air. "Now I am your friend, right? So that means I'm here to lend and ear when you need someone to listen." Making a fist, she brought it down onto her knee in mock finality. "Now. Have you started thinking about names?"


/Oh really?/ She didn't know who the Harper the young Brown was talking about, but she acted as though she did. The Harper must have been one of the human's friends, or a previous mate. The gold swung her head over her shoulder to look at the entrance way to the ledge, her mind jumping in amusement. /I'm sure that she would be happy to hear that her opinion weighs so heavy on Yours. She is happy that she has friends like Yours./

[glamourie]

The shuffling of wings drew R’wign’s attention to Azaran and the brown rider looked up before reaching one hand up to stroke the fire lizard’s neck gently. He was being deliberately affectionate to the bronze primarily because it distracted him from the fact that he was literally a bundle of nerves, ready to explode at any minute. It would’ve been embarrassing to have a meltdown on Kaegan, or more of one than he was already having, but… Some part of him felt like he should leave. Like he should run off, find something constructive to do, or anything more productive than burdening the Senior Weyrwoman. She was being nice about it, but -- part of him was afraid. Deathly afraid. Why? He did not want Kaegan to dislike him. At all. He was afraid that she would hate him and want nothing to do with him. There was very little he could think of that made him more nervous. The more severe problem…? He liked her. He did. He’d finally accepted it to himself that he liked Kaegan… like-like, and not just friendship. Marra was only dead four months. Was it an insult to her memory to want to move on, to find someone else? She’d have been furious at him for even considering a gold rider, he knew; no doubt she would have been jealous. But she was gone. Was it wrong…? He had no way of knowing. All that R’wign knew was how he felt… and on top of the crush was an overwhelming feeling of guilt coupled with the bitter knowledge that no matter how hard he tried, he’d never be good enough for her. She was Senior Weyrwoman and she belonged with the Weyrleader, and that was a position he couldn’t ever hold. Check being a brown aside (he had utter faith in his dragon), he knew nothing about leadership, was bad at leading people period… and he flat out couldn’t fly between. He was, essentially, not even in the running. Depressing.

“You are my friend… but you’re also the Senior Weyrwoman. You have a lot of things you have to do. When Ka’rys was Weyrleader, I barely spoke to him at all except when he was sick, because he was very busy. I can only imagine how busy you must be,” R’wign said, and then, despite himself, reached over to grab his cup of tea. Then he brought it to his lips and took a sip before forcibly relaxing himself. “I’m sure Meira and I would both appreciate some help… she’s -- she’s just a kid, in a lot of ways. She’s barely sixteen.” He shook his head slowly and glanced at Kaegan. “We talked, a little, about names… I think Meiawin or Riaren were our favorites, maybe Meiwign… Checkoth liked ‘Meiwign’ a lot; he suggested it in fact. He’s very excited. More excited than either of us are, I think. He doesn’t understand why I’m nervous at all.”

Checkoth crooned agreeably and turned to nose at the edge of the ledge where he was sitting, almost in interest. His claws flexed and tapped, as both of his tails took to flicking around animatedly behind him in independent movements that might have looked bizarre to any who didn’t know him very well. Considering it was Checkoth, though, there was nothing unusual about that: his tails always seemed to have minds of their own. I don’t know if it’s a good thing that Yours makes R’wignmine so nervous. He’s afraid she’ll think less of him, always, or that she won’t like him, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be good enough to be more than just her friend… and he wants to be. I don’t understand him. I tried asking why he doesn’t just tell her and he told me it’s not that simple, and that humans are very different when they like someone. I don’t really understand him and sometimes, I think R’wignmine makes things more complicated than they have to be. Does Yours ever do that? Over-complicate a simple matter? I’ve thought about telling Yours myself, since R’wignmine is silly, but he’d be very upset with me. He’d be unhappier still if he knew now what I was telling you, in fact… but he’s distracted.

Yes. Yes he was. R’wign ran the tip of his finger around the edge of his cup and glanced at Kaegan nervously before asking, “So… kind of unrelated; are you and K’roi a… thing?” An item; official. “I spend so much time talking about myself; I really should make an effort to talk about other people, or ask how their lives are going…” And he didn’t have ulterior motives for that question or anything, far be it from R’wign to ever do that. No sir. He was just trying to be polite about it -- yep. That was exactly it…