One more puzzle peice (Cherilith/Saeo)

[dragon]

It was time to figure out what in the world was going on with Saeo. C'oar had had a nice long talk with Frosstyth and it had only left him even more confused. Apparently Frosstyth had told Cherilith that he liked Saeo ... which was true. And he had thought Saeo had known that. How could she not? C'oar also didn't understand why that revelation - if there had been one - would upset her so badly as to suddenly decide to stop talking to him.

But she'd been almost impossible to track down, much less catch up to, because he'd been hobbling around. But now it had more or less healed. He could walk mostly normally again. Only when he landed on that particular foot too hard with all the muscles tensed up did it twinge and leave him limping for a few strides. So now it was time to figure out what was going on this time and lay it to rest finally.

He had few enough friends that he rather wanted to hang onto the ones he had. It was bad enough that Raylin was borderline suicidal some days. But now Saeo was going on rages too? Over ... nothing?

He had asked Frosstyth to locate Cherilith, assuming that Saeo would be with her dragon ... but apparently that assumption had been way off. For now as he spied the blue, Saeo was no where in sight. Approaching the river and the blue dragon, C'oar tapped on the blue a bit.

"Cherilith? Mind if I ask you some questions? As in ... what is going on with Saeo. Why is she so mad all the time?" C'oar asked, bluntly. He wasn't completely dense ... he'd figured out that it had something to do with something he'd done. What, he had no idea. And not knowing, and not knowing how to figure out what it was, he had decided to ask. Since Saeo was not there to ask, he did the next best thing and asked Cherilith. If anyone could read her mind, it was that blue. What with being immersed in it...

[nightingale]

The sun was nice. It was this brilliant observation that had convinced Cherilith to take a well-deserved nap after his bath in the swollen autumn river. Sunny days were rare during the rainy season, and most southerners were well aware of this fact. That it was shining at all was a fortune certain to soon vanish, as dark clouds had been gathering on the horizon since midday. For now though, the warming rays were at their brightest and most soothing. He was not about to let them go to waste, especially when there were so many lovely things to dream about.

Oftentimes when he found himself with a spare moment, he liked to poke into his bonded’s dreams and see what fantasies she was capable of imagining. Lately however, they had been…very sad. Death and isolation, and much to do with the little wildling she had once known. He only wished that he could do more to comfort her than simply lay his head next to her and project soothing thoughts. Sometimes it just wasn’t enough for her to sleep soundly.

Oh, but here was someone who’s voice he recognized. Mmmm good morning…afternoon…hello C’oar. He murmured sleepily, half lidded eyes fluttering open to reveal a pale shade of curious aquatic blue. Angry? Mine is not angry all of the time…well, that is to say that she is not angry right now. The young blue yawned hugely, dark green tongue brushing against his ivory fangs in a gesture that could have been frightening had it not been so familiar and innocent. My Saeo is only a little bit sad at the moment…and I suppose you are right to be concerned for that as well...but please do not trouble yourself with Mine C’oar. My Saeo gets this way sometimes. It is not your fault…oh…I am sorry. It seems that it is your fault.

The blue in Cherilith’s eyes slowly paled, and his brow ridges came down to furrow slightly into a thoughtful expression. She tells me that she hates always having to guess at what you are thinking, and that she hates hearing things third hand through me. She says that you are emotionally coagulated and…and I would rather not say anything else if that is alright C’oar. She is using unpleasant words.

“I SAID that if you ever did manage to feel anything for anyone you would be to sharding proud or stubborn or STUPID to admit it!” The voice was muffled, but was obviously coming from the blue’s left shoulder where the wing membrane creased ever so slightly into an unnatural position. It would have been easy to overlook had it not spoken. Now she is angry. Cherilith sighed, lifting his head to nudge the small lump gently with his muzzle. “Tell him to go away.” Said the lump, a carefully measured dose of wry contempt concealing any proper emotion that may have slipped into her voice. “He was not invited to the soap-suds-and-daydreaming-about-talking-kittens party. I shall entertain him once all of the guests have had their fill of onion dip, found their jackets and filed neatly onto the Weyr proper.” What I think my Saeo would like to say is that she would rather be left alone for right now. Cherilith offered weakly, lowering his head to the sand once again. She is feeling rather…turbulent at the moment. She is not really angry with you. She is just angry at…at the situation you two seem to have created for yourselves.

[dragon]

C'oar just stood there for a moment. Well ... this was a nice pickle to be in. A whole lot of what Cherilith had said was so convoluted as to take a few hours of thinking to sort through. And then what Saeo'd said ... he tried not to think on what she'd said. Because though it was rather direct and to the point, it also cut rather deep to places that didn't like being stabbed.

She was mad at him ... because he didn't talk? So that's what she meant about Frosstyth gossiping, if she was 'hearing things third hand' through her dragon ... though what it was she was hearing that upset her so badly he also didn't know. He cleared his throat for a moment, considering what to say. Finally, he did the only thing he knew to do... what she wanted.

"I didn't mean to disturb you." He said, simply, tone carefully held level and flat. "Cherilith." He said, respectfully, before turning and walking back the way he had come... time to find Frosstyth and have a talk with the brown about what exactly it was he was saying ... It seemed high time to curb that behavior if it was going to cause rifts like that. Whether or not he kept his friends was irrelevant, but he did need to be able to work with these people after all. They all had a job to do, where teamwork was essential.

[nightingale]

Why are you leaving?

Cherilith’s tone was short of a whimper by only the thinnest of boundaries as he stared hard into the brownweyrling’s back, eyes flashing with deep yellows and pale grays. I…I do not know very much about the way humans interact…and I know that you cannot chase her across the sky but…but surely you could tell her that she is beautiful? You could…hold her or…or just find some way to let her know that she is a prize worth winning? She…she does not want you to leave.

It was obvious that the young blue was trying very hard to find the right words to express himself. He was avoiding something –a word or a phrase that would cause him to overstep some unspoken boundary his rider had laid out for him. He only wished that she would tell him these things herself. He knew that as he translated Saeo’s thoughts and emotions, vital influxes in vocabulary and tempo were being missed. Surely though, his intervention was better than the painful silence that would otherwise sweep over them?

She wants you to stay with her. He crooned softly, tucking his head against his chest dismally. Please? As a friend and my clutchbrother’s rider, if nothing more.

(( Sorry. I couldn’t sleep with it unfinished. XP ))

[dragon]

C'oar paused, and sighed, turning to look back at the blue. She wanted him to stay? What kind of sense did that make? She'd said go away. He just stood there for a long, interminable moment, looking at the blue. How was a body supposed to know what to do when supposed friends said one thing, but meant the opposite? Wasn't that a surefire way to not get what one wants? It didn't make any sense at all to him. None at all. Not even a drop.

But ... if there was ever anyone soul that could possibly read Saeo accurately, and know what she was thinking ... it would be Cherilith. And C'oar didn't like the way things were going. Not in the slightest. So, prepared for an onslaught that was sure to include a lot of verbal yelling and maybe some flailing as well, C'oar slowly walked back toward the dragon, and around to the shoulder where Saeo was hiding.

He crouched there, and peeked under the wing at her. What to say? It didn't really matter... nothing he said would be right, no matter what it was he said. Even if all he did was inquire after her health. He definitely didn't dare mention Cherilith's comments. That would only make it get worse exponentially. Likely force Cherilith into not talking to him anymore, too. Which would be ... bad ... since Saeo was not real good on the saying what she meant front.

But he had to say something....

"Onion dip?"

Gah, that was bright.

[nightingale]

Thank you C’oar. Cherilith’s voice was soft with relief, as though some great crisis had just been narrowly avoided. The young blue shifted his wing ever so slightly, revealing a pale haired bluerider with smeared makeup and crossed arms. She was laying on her back in the cool sand, and looked for all the world as if she was trying to glare a hole right through the wing membrane above her. “Yes, onion dip.” She huffed, making no move to visually acknowledge the intruding brownrider. “It’s soured cream with caramelized onions and spices mixed into it. Most people dip vegetables into it. I personally prefer smearing it on bread.”

She rolled onto her side so that her back was facing him and pressed her face against Cherilith’s thigh. Altogether she looked very much like a beaten and abandoned animal, and the illusion was only enhance by the way she seemed inclined to growl her words.“What do you want? If you’re going to talk to me then come inside. It’s rude to hover in a doorway like that.”

Her blue snorted quietly to draw attention to himself. Freckle and Baby are not here. He offered, tilting his head ever so slightly to one side. They will not hurt you…and I do not think Mine will either. He added the last part in haste upon remembering that his rider had been less than kind to him in the past. There wasn’t much room for movement under the blue’s wing –perhaps two feet between sand and membrane with significantly more room in a side-to-side measurement. It was most definitely not an environment that claustrophobic persons would find comfortable.

[dragon]

C'oar considered that for a moment. Well ... at least that had gone better than he'd expected it would. She wasn't yelling ... yet. Or again. Whichever it was. "Oh." he remarked, simply. Probably best to not really mention much more than that, pro or con. No need to provoke another storm. Especially considering that there really was no right thing to say, when it came to Saeo. Even more so if it came out of his mouth.

He didn't even dare to express any concern over how she was looking... she didn't often look so ... well ... terrible. But to say anything at all about the incident ... would make her fly off the handle again. Or, then again, not saying anything could also be construed as not notcing or caring. So what was a body supposed to do, anyway?! Speak and get fried, hold your tongue, and get fried anyway. With onion dip for good measure.

Girls were just strange.

"What do I want? I wanted to talk to you. What do you want?" C'oar countered. He could have made a comment about not seeing a door, muchless a doorway. But he rather guessed she wasn't in any mood for any kind of snarky comments. But even so, he was not going to go crawling in there unless she expressly said she wanted him to... regardless of what Cherilith said. It was just too ... dangerous. And it was not the small space that bothered him. Small spaces didn't bother him at all. It was the occupant of said small space maybe suddenly deciding to rake his eyes out.

"Small party." He commented, obliquely.

[nightingale]

Saeo bristled visibly, curling herself into a loose ball and snuggling still closer to her dragon. “You are hovering. That is rude.” She growled, taking care to enunciate every syllable as though she was talking to a very young child who might otherwise misunderstand her. “If you are going to talk to me, come inside.” Please. Cherilith added, staring pointedly at the wing membrane concealing his rider. Saeo held her breath and closed her eyes, listening for the sound of movement. When she finally did hear the sand shifting against fabric next to her, she sighed and fluttered her eyes open a tiny crack.

The girl sniffed once, the sound obviously intended to sound annoyed. However, it was a sound not at all typical of Saeo, which suggested either that she was trying not to cry or else was just finishing up. “It would have been bigger, but only the imaginary kittens showed up.” She murmured dimly. “Elle has never been the cuddly type...and Beau is living with Danar now.” It wasn’t clear whether she had forgotten to use the weyrling's new honorific, or if she was simply ignoring it's existance. She tended to use apostrophes sparingly among those she was acquainted with.

“Farryl is working, T’ke thinks games are silly and Raylin never wants to play anymore. That’s alright though. Cherilith and I are fine on our own.” Mine, do not be that way. Her blue admonished gently, as he did any time the girl took it upon herself to wallow in self pity. She gave his mind a half-hearted shove and focused her attention on tracing one of his stripes with her index finger. Well it’s true. We’re getting by just fine without them. You say it bitterly. Good. Sweetness has never looked good on me. Perhaps if you tried it on, your friends would not be so afraid to come near you?
She snorted quietly, and opted not to respond.

[dragon]

If he was going to talk to her, come inside. Well ... on that, and Cherilith's added plead, C'oar decided that if he was going to get to the bottom of things any time soon, he might as well. He took a moment to unhook his sword and lay it on the ground, before making his way under Cherilith's wing. A little bit of maneuvering, and he settled near where Saeo was. "Kinda warm in here." He noted, mildly.

"Oh... well ... small parties can be fun, too, I guess." C'oar remarked. He wasn't really sure what to say, to be perfectly honest. He was just glad that Frosstyth hadn't followed him over to make strange comments about rather oblique things... "Okay. So all those people didn't want to spend any time with you." C'oar observed. "Howcome you didn't ask me?" Okay, that was a rather strange thing for him to say, but it was an honest question. And frankly, the whole reason he was there, right then, was to get some honest answers to some honest questions. Ones that he wasn't getting any other way. Which meant he was going to have to ask them ... things he normally would never ask.

But ... then Saeo just had a really strange way of working with things, and it just left him more and more confused. It didn't help any that she was randomly deciding she hated him ... and for no reason at all that he could discern.

"That ... actually ... is kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. Only, not that specific." C'oar admitted. "I don't understand what you're thinking, Saeo. Not at all. At random intervals you just seem to get so ... well ... mad. And stalk off. And refuse to talk to me at all for hugely long stretches of time. Only turning back up just to yell at me again. For what, I can't even begin to guess. I'm rather concerned about you, Saeo ... what's going on?" He asked, pointedly. "If you have suddenly decided you don't want to be my friend anymore... I'd at least like to know why." He admitted, quietly.

C'oar vaguely wondered if it had anything to do with Raylin ... Raylin had started hanging around T'rid alot, and it was no secret that T'rid hated C'oar. The feeling was more or less mutual. But ... that sort of did make some sense. Girls tended to band together, and where one went, the other would too. Right? Putting both of them firmly in T'rid's corner and leaving C'oar scratching his head. That might explain a lot, actually. He hadn't seen much off either Saeo or Raylin.

Danar ... he was going to have to go look him up. It had been altogether too long since he'd seen his one other friend.

[nightingale]

“Because I’m ANGRY with you.”

The girl growled, her tone more frustrated than aggressive but no more welcoming because of it. Surely he had gathered that much from the way she had been avoiding him like a Bitran drug addict? True that he was stubborn, disgustingly pragmatic and infuriating most of the time, but she certainly wouldn’t describe him as stupid. You can do better than that. Cherilith pressed, tilting his head in a vain attempt to peer under his wing at the two weyrling riders. Well maybe I don't want to do any better than that. Why? What will it accomplish? The girl said nothing to him. You are only being hurtful my Saeo. Why is hurting the ones you care about preferable to being honest? It was like having a second, more eloquent conscience.

“Of course I want to be your friend, idiot.” Saeo told him, perhaps a little too loudly as she attempted to shake Cherilith’s mind from her thoughts. She rolled over, pale hair falling over her face and obscuring the sharp look she offered him. She tugged her knees up against her chest, and pressed her back against Cherilith in a noticeable defensive maneuver.

She stared hard at C’oar, thunder rippling across her stormy eyes.

“I just don’t seem to have any idea where I stand with you anymore!” She half-growled, half-whined. “I mean honestly, what am I to you? Are you even aware that half of Selenitas is whispering about us? How am I supposed to set them straight when I don’t even know what’s going on myself? Are we friends? Am I just some younger sister persona you feel obligated to protect because I can’t seem to take care of myself? Scorch it to crackdust, I just can’t wait on you any longer!” When the girl finally fell silent and dropped her eyes to the sand, she realized that she had started crying again. She hated it. Had the brownrider come twenty minutes ago when she still had a scrap of energy to her name, she would have kicked him in the forehead for making her behave in such a way –because of course, it was his fault.

[dragon]

C'oar heaved a slow sigh. This was not going well. She wasn't making any more sense than usual, and she was plainly getting defensive about it. Maybe he should just ... leave. Give her her space, calm down again. Not that that was liable to work, either. She hadn't calmed down yet since the last time he'd tried to talk to her. So, there was nothing for it ... either stick it out through her nonsensical rages, or just ... stay away.

"Saeo, you don't make any sense to me. And you're still not making any. You tell me you're angry with me ... which yes, I did get that. But how can you be so angry with me, to stay angry for so long - and not even tell me why ... and yet still want to be a friend? That doesn't make any sense to me. Friends don't do that." He pointed out. "I also have no idea what you're talking about. Talking about us? What's there to talk about? And yes, we're friends. Or ... at least, I thought we were. Friends should look after each other, lest wise, I think so. Waiting on me? For what, exactly?" He asked. "If you want me to do something, you have to tell me. I'm not a dragon. I can't read your mind." C'oar pointed out. "Why are you mad at me?"

Which, in all likelyhood, was going to get him whacked and run off again. But that was only normal, with her. She just didn't make any sense to him, and he couldn't figure out why she was so mad at him. In the end, it would only end one way ... whatever she wanted, he'd do.

But it was plain to see something was eating at her, even though he didn't know what. She was crying ... again ... and apparently refusing to look at him. Which wasn't helping one bit. C'oar knew one thing ... he had to find some sort of base ground somewhere, somehow, now, or there likely wasn't going to be another conversation with her. "Saeo ... just ..." he sighed, and took her chin in one hand, making her look up. "Talk to me." he requested, simply, before gathering her up and giving her a hug. She looked like she needed one, even if the act would likely get him whacked yet again.

What was making her think that he wasn't her friend? He'd never told her anything of the sort.

[nightingale]

The girl flinched as she suddenly felt a hand against her jaw. No. She didn’t want to look at him. Had she not made that fact obvious by looking away? Saeo kept her eyes fixed stubbornly on the ground even as her head tilted, her jaw set firmly in an attempt be as proud in her misery as possible.

And then she could smell him, and a flood of disarming comfort washed across her mind.

The bluerider didn’t understand why as soon as she was warm and safe, her body felt the need to start sobbing violently. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about it but hide her face and lean in to absorb as much warmth she could. The small girl clung to her friend with the grim tenacity of April frost, pressing her face into his shoulder and fighting in vain to stifle the whimpering noises vibrating deep in her chest.

For a long time, Saeo assumed the role of stuffed animal and simply allowed herself to be held. Shardit, why did he always have to be such a boy?! As much as she hated to imagine K’lir as anything more than a rude and egotistical brat, she could always count on him to say what was on his mind–often with no prompting whatsoever. She hated having to read so deeply into people. She could only get so far without a glow to guide her, and she had lost her way as far as C’oar was concerned long ago. Shards, why couldn’t he just...just…do something?! Well fine...she'd do it herself...but it was his own fault if things went sour because of it.

Finally, she mustered up the courage to sigh a choked response into his ear.

“I’m mad because I love you, you infuriatingly thickheaded bastard!” She growled, digging her fingers into his back as if fearing that he would toss her away. “I hate it! I hate staying up worrying about you when you get yourself hurt, and I hate everyone pestering me about why we’re not together, and I REALLY hate all this wondering and second guessing whether or not I should even care! I’m always guessing with you Cloar…I’m always…I’m always waiting and it never comes…” She gave up on speaking entirely, and instead focused all of her attention on clinging to him as hard as she could. If he was disgusted with her and aimed on making a quick getaway, she would make bloody sure that peeling her off would be an unpleasant experience. She aimed take as much skin with her as possible.

[dragon]

C'oar wilted slightly, shoulders slumping. Faranth. Of all the tid bits for her to sit on! "Saeo ..." C'oar started. But he didn't get any farther than that at all. He just sat there, stunned. But also somewhat releived ... maybe even a little happy. It was a heck of a bomb, though... she loved him? C'oar would not have ever guessed it. Borderline hatred would have been his guess. Especially considering recent events. "Saeo, Saeo ..."

Another pause, and then he decided he'd better tell her. "Saeo ... I wish you'd told me sooner. I really do." he started. Not the best way, but he wasn't used to this sort of thing... not at all. In fact, he was used to the stark opposite. "I ... I've always liked you alot, Saeo. Tried to keep you safe. But ... I tried to not let that feeling go anywhere. Not that it worked, but ... well ... that's neither here nor there. I knew ... well. I thought you were interested in someone else. So I just ... let you do your thing." Jarmayan, wasn't it? The wherhandler healer? And Farryl ... he thought she'd taken a shine to the girl, too. "I didn't want to get in your way, see." he tried to explain. "I ... I guess I just wanted you to be happy, above all else. Safe and happy."

C'oar held her tight, not really sure what else to do at all. She seemed to need the hug, and he really didn't want to let go, either. Then part of what she said registered ... people were bugging her on why they weren't together? Where had that come from? Had he really been so blind that he'd missed what everyone else had seen? Had he also failed so miserably in sequestering his own feelings to the deepest, darkest corners of his soul? How had the rest of the Weyr seen it so clear, but yet ... they not? Because it seemed pretty plain from what she'd said. He hadn't known at all she gave a wherry's tail about him ... and she apparently also hadn't known what he felt, either. How dismal was that??

Her fingers digging into his back wasn't the most pleasant of things, but it was also far less than he had initially been expecting to receive so far as physical abuse went. C'oar leaned forward, and gathered her up in his thick arms, pulling her out of that teeny hole she was wedged into and setting her in his lap, to hug her more fully. "Saeo ... if you wanted to know something, all you had to do was ask. I don't bite." C'oar assured her.

It was amazing, really. After nearly a full turn of hiding his feelings away, of sitting on them and making sure they didn't get out of hand and betray themselves to anyone at all ... now it was almost just as hard to try and dig them out to show her. And that just wasn't fair at all. Of course, it didn't help any at all that he was slightly afraid she was going to make another 180 flip on him, and trample all over it for him. This was not at all a position he had ever expected to find himself in, ever in his life. After Frosstyth ... he'd expected to go onward and be a dragonrider like all the rest. Pretty much alone, so far as the heart went.

But there was nothing for it ... might as well tell her. "Saeo ... I've loved you for a very long time, now. And I've always done my best to be there when you needed me. To be there to keep you safe."

There. It was out. Now what would happen would happen. C'oar just hoped she wouldn't trounce him for it.