Post by Tashe on Feb 5, 2009 21:18:28 GMT -5
She was depressed. And because she was depressed, her Flitter and Mandyr were too. In fact, the only one not depressed in the young woman's small family, was the large Queen who was snoozing on the beach. It wasn't like Millieth didn't grieve for the loss of the Senior Weyrwomen, it just hadn't hit her as deeply as it had done with Kaegan. Glancing up from her lap at her dragon, Kaegan watched sadly as the fog began to roll in.
Shmee had accepted her at face value when they had first arrived, taking her in like any other refugee and placing her under her wing. The Weyrwoman had been kind to her, and had treated her with the kind of normalcy that she had so craved. She had attached herself to Aslath's quickly, wanting someone who was willing to teach her what she needed to know, and treat her without pity. There was never any kind of pampering, and not a whole lot of displeasure, Shmee had been like a surrogate stand in sister for Kaegan. But now that they were gone... would she be able to stand alone without the older woman to lean on?
Faranath, she wasn't ready to be Senior Weyrwoman! The last time she had attempted to lead the Weyr ended in a savage Benden attack, one that almost killed her and Shmee in the process. If Benden attacked again, would the Riders of Selenitas turn on her? They'd surely blame her and throw her out. No... no Selenitas was not that cruel. Were they? Kaegan had spent so much time hiding from non-existent ghosts and ghouls that she really didn't know the Riders on a personal level. All they were, were names attached to faces and files. Why me? Why do I always bring death where ever I go? First I loose J'em and, and then by coming to Selenitas, I drag it into the war. So many lives have been lost by my hands and by the hands of Benden already! And now Shmee is... is gone. Pressing her face into her hands, Kaegan curled into a ball by bringing her knees to her chest and tucking her elbows into her stomach. I'm not Brave enough...
Feeling something (rather two things) nose their way into her collar, the Weyrwoman bit back a sob as her two little pets tried to comfort her. She didn't deserve their love. She had come to Selenitas and in her wake came sorrow... Kaegan couldn't bare the thought of either Azaran or Dash getting hurt because of her. Just mentioning it in her mind threatened to send her body into racking sobs.
Everyone was allowed to wallow in self doubt and pity... right?
Shmee had accepted her at face value when they had first arrived, taking her in like any other refugee and placing her under her wing. The Weyrwoman had been kind to her, and had treated her with the kind of normalcy that she had so craved. She had attached herself to Aslath's quickly, wanting someone who was willing to teach her what she needed to know, and treat her without pity. There was never any kind of pampering, and not a whole lot of displeasure, Shmee had been like a surrogate stand in sister for Kaegan. But now that they were gone... would she be able to stand alone without the older woman to lean on?
Faranath, she wasn't ready to be Senior Weyrwoman! The last time she had attempted to lead the Weyr ended in a savage Benden attack, one that almost killed her and Shmee in the process. If Benden attacked again, would the Riders of Selenitas turn on her? They'd surely blame her and throw her out. No... no Selenitas was not that cruel. Were they? Kaegan had spent so much time hiding from non-existent ghosts and ghouls that she really didn't know the Riders on a personal level. All they were, were names attached to faces and files. Why me? Why do I always bring death where ever I go? First I loose J'em and, and then by coming to Selenitas, I drag it into the war. So many lives have been lost by my hands and by the hands of Benden already! And now Shmee is... is gone. Pressing her face into her hands, Kaegan curled into a ball by bringing her knees to her chest and tucking her elbows into her stomach. I'm not Brave enough...
Feeling something (rather two things) nose their way into her collar, the Weyrwoman bit back a sob as her two little pets tried to comfort her. She didn't deserve their love. She had come to Selenitas and in her wake came sorrow... Kaegan couldn't bare the thought of either Azaran or Dash getting hurt because of her. Just mentioning it in her mind threatened to send her body into racking sobs.
Everyone was allowed to wallow in self doubt and pity... right?
