Dwell in the Shadows...(Lena)

[Requiem]

Late afternoon sunlight spilled over him, illuminating the parchment braced against his thigh. The other leg dangled down from the high sill. It was probably the same window he'd dropped through when Raebeli mistook him for an evil cloaked kidnapper and cracked him over the skull. He was probably the only guy alive who could be bested like that by Raebeli. It still amused him somewhat. Yes, probably this window, he mused silently. Or maybe the other one next to this.

The map he'd originally come to work on lay spread out on the table beneath the sill. Dmitri's mind wasn't on it, not enough to do more than etch a few not wholly accurate lines. He'd given it up. The pad before him held a lot of things no one ever saw. The harper had found that the limitations of his hand and arm necessitated certain things, but not necessarily giving up on some skills. An adjustment. Like the instrument that still stood silent.

The strokes were a vague composite of impressions and long sweeps, nothing delicate or terribly precise. Yet they came together just the same and the figures in the book, the places, were recognizable. The face before him, too. Dmitri bit his lip and closed the pad, sliding it into the bag beside him on the sill. He turned his head to look out the window. Oh, that's right. How could he have forgotten?

This wasn't the window. Those archives had burned with the rest of the Main Hall. They'd arranged it almost exactly the same, as archivists were creatures of habit above all else, but beyond the window there was no raging river, no line of jungle encroaching on the very edge of the river with great masses of roots descending into the waters. No. Just the canyon face across the way. You could hear the pounding of the falls - always, anywhere at Selenitas - but not see them from this vantage. There were no ledges immediately below him.

Dmitri's eyes narrowed, toying with the strap of the bag at his side. Nothing to stop a fall here but the ground below. Funny. He'd always thought himself afraid of heights, but there was no fear. Or maybe it was just his present mood.

[Rei]

She had been looking for him for about an hour or so now. Since Erilena had gotten off of infirmary duty. Well okay maybe not directly after, she did have to bathe first. The greenrider had smelled like numbweed and a whole other slew of disgusting things. No need to subject Dmitri to that.

Dimitri. He had been a little off for about a sevenday now. Ever since the night they had that kiss. The night she knew he had talked to Elysia. The night he came back to her weyr to crash on her couch, staring all night at the ceiling. Erilena hadn’t pried. Worried certainly but hadn’t pushed him. She simply had just spread a blanket over the handler, kissed his forehead, and returned to her bed. Erilena had spent the night worrying about him but hadn’t wanted to hurt him by offering anything further. So she had stuck to silence. Let him work out his issues unmolested. What could she have said anyway? That she was sorry? What would that have helped?

The next few days had been spent hanging around Dmitri like normal. Only the interactions had been slightly subdued. Quieter. As if they were both circling around something neither of them knew quite how to approach. Or perhaps were afraid to. It was awkward and it made Erilena want to break it. Somehow. But for the life of her she was at a loss. And now today the handler wasn’t even where he normally was at this time. The greenrider had proceed to search for him, even went to his apartment. Now she had ended up here. Why she thought archives she didn’t know, but maybe? It was quiet at least. Dmitri seemed to be preferring quiet these days.

Entering the near solitude of the place was a little disorienting. She had always felt uncomfortable with the silence the archivists seemed to demand. Pushing still slightly damp hair back from her face Erilena wandered silently through the place. Probably looking extremely lost. The harper wasn’t amongst the tables. Nor did he seem to be anywhere perusing the shelves. Well then. Not here. Stopping and hovering a bit, ironically very near the very window he was perched in above her, she gave a light sigh.

“Good at disappearing obviously.” The murmured words seemed horribly loud to her in the dead silence. Hmm maybe he was in the tree by the forge. Should probably have checked that one before the Main Hall…

[Requiem]

His eyes were still on the opposite side of the canyon when he heard someone come in. It was probably the fifth or sixth since he came to the archives and he spared them no attention. Dmitri's mind was far away at the moment. There was an urge to see for himself, even if it would cause trouble. But he couldn't go see for himself. Dmisk could track anything on the ground but the air and Between was another thing entirely. And even if the wher could - he wouldn't. The blue was right anyway. Knowing wouldn't change anything.

The voice that broke through his thoughts was familiar. He started, realizing of a sudden that he'd spent far too long here lost in thought. She was already out of work? A glance at the position of the suns and he tsked softly to himself. For over a candlemark already. How could he have gotten so distracted? "Not really. Just at finding high places and losing track of time."

She was within range, and Dmitri nudged Erilena lightly with his foot. Just in case the words weren't enough for her to find him. "Sorry, Lena." The harper slid down from the window, landing lightly on the table beneath it before casting a quick glance around to make sure none of the archivists had seen him hopping around on their furniture. The bluehandler stepped down and reached back up to the sill to snare the bag, then began rolling the map back up to add it to the rest of his things.

The younger of the two slipped out of the archives, trusting Erilena to be at his back as she always was. "I know I haven't been the best of company lately," he offered her, mouth twitching into that wry expression he had when admitting to one of his numerous faults. Fortunately, people seemed to be generally forgiving. Dmitri really couldn't fathom why. Once they'd put some distance between them and the archives he slowed his pace a bit and glanced over his shoulder at Lena.

A familiar pang of guilt ran through him. He really should...bring it up. Not really fair to kiss a girl, send her away then crash on her couch without giving her any explanation at all. Problem was he wouldn't even know how to begin to explain any of that. So he never quite did get around to saying anything on the events of a sevenday ago. Something had to give, though. The tension between them seemed to be growing thicker now.

"I'm not so late that you've already eaten, am I?" And again he retreated to the comfort of the familiar.

[Rei]

Eyes that had been previously staring into the distance with a thoughtful expression widened as the familiar voice sounded. Swinging around the greenrider’s shoulder met Dmitri’s foot. Blinking up at him she tilted her head. “S’okay. I just didn’t know where you were. Thought maybe you were avoiding me.” Yes it was a little silly perhaps, but the thought had crossed her mind. Especially with the current tension. It was a reasonable thing to think wasn’t it? Trying not to shift awkwardly as the harper stepped off the table and arranged his things Erilena gave a slight smile. “Don’t know how you do it. If I tried that I’d likely break my neck.” But Dmitri was already striding off. A brief frown flashed across her features.

He was also exiting the archives much to fast. Nibbling briefly at her bottom lip Erilena had to almost trot to keep up with him. Blast him and his longer legs. Why was he in such a hurry? Head snapping up towards the harper’s back as he spoke the greenrider gave a half smile, even knowing he couldn’t see it. “It’s okay. Everyone lives in their head sometimes.” The words were offered in a light and reassuring tone. She had been guilty of it too. Guilty enough that she often was subjected to Dmitri telling her ‘You think to much.’ Part of her almost offered those words to him now. But she didn’t. Mostly because she was busy concentrating on just keeping up with him.

Thankfully he was finally slowing down and when Dmitri gave a backwards glance Erilena tried to catch his gaze. With a light smile she shook her head in response to the question. “No. Haven’t eaten. Just bathed.” With that the greenrider bounced up beside him and fell into matching him step for step. A little bit easier now that the harper had slowed down. For a few moments as they walked it was silent. That silence seeming to stretch. It was awkward and Erilena hated it. A lot. Finally she couldn’t stand it anymore and she stopped. Just stopped dead in the hallway and bowed her head nibbling again on her lip. How long could this continue? Something had to break. Or she was going to go insane.

“Demi?” The words were almost hesitant, nervous. “Is something wrong? Do…would you prefer it if I stopped coming around?” There. It was something at least. Raising her head she looked up at Dmitri, the look questioning. Maybe he would prefer his space. She couldn’t blame him if that was true. Even if the thought of it did make her…upset.

[Requiem]

He'd been so lost in thought again that he hadn't really heard what she'd said. Oh, he'd heard her talking, but the words didn't register at all. It happened from time to time with Dmitri. Probably with everyone, actually. That same distraction could explain why he'd walked so quickly, too, until he realized that he was leaving Erilena well behind him. It was easy to forget that most people couldn't keep up with you if you walked at a regular pace.

"Ah. Good." Then he hadn't messed up completely. (Granted, if she'd just gone to eat before coming to look for him, he would have messed that up, too, so it really had nothing whatsoever to do with him.) Dmitri shortened his stride even further to better accomodate Erilena, not thinking about it. Adjusting his strides to whoever happened to be with him was a habit by this point.

Dmitri had gone a few paces past where Erilena stopped when he noticed she was no longer with him with a start. He paused mid-stride, glancing back over his shoulder. A slight frown touched his lips. What-? But then she asked the question and it was clear enough what had caused her to suddenly halt. The handler sighed softly. Should have known he was giving off vibes like that. Sure, he was locked in his head, but if he'd really wanted to be there...well he'd have found a way to be alone.

"No, Lena." Turning, he came back to where she stood. "I like having you here. I just...I'm distracted. And I don't know what to say to you." It was an affliction that the handler wasn't really used to having. "I've kind of made a mess of things, haven't I?" A small smile touched his lips, faintly amused. Trying to be lighter for the greenrider's sake. Dmitri touched the back of her elbow lightly. "Come on. Let's get dinner. If...if you want to talk we can just take it with us to your weyr or something."

[Rei]

Erilena watched Dmitri as he turned to start back towards her. She gave a light smile in response to his words. Liked having her there. Well that was good because she liked him being there. Tilting her head one hand came up and she tangled fingers through a strand of her blonde hair. Running them through it in an unconscious nervous gesture. Didn’t know what to say to her. Well she was having pretty much the same problem. The greenrider wasn’t sure what to say to help the awkwardness. To get rid of the tension and Erilena didn’t want to make it worse. So the woman defaulted to keeping to the precedent the harper had set and simply had stayed mostly quiet. Assuming that Dmitri desired the quietness for now. Until he worked out whatever it was that was running through that head of his at least.

With a light smile Erilena shook her head. “It’s not really a mess. Just. Weird. I’m not used to such a quiet Demi. Well not for so long anyway.” With that she reached up and poked at his nose, hoping the familiar gesture would break at least some of the tension surrounding them. There that was better, a small smile was better than none at all. The greenrider kept her gaze on the harper’s face when he touched her elbow lightly. His offer sounded good so she gave a light nod. “Okay. That sounds good to me.”

Especially the back to her weyr part. As awkward as this whole thing was feeling right now all Erilena wanted to do was fix it. It would be easier to fix somewhere where they both felt a little more at ease. The hallway wasn’t cutting it and a crowded dinning hall wouldn’t either.

Reaching out she grabbed Dmitri’s hand and tugged him forward, a playful smile briefly lighting up her face. “Okay then. Fetch food and back to my weyr. You are also allowed to walk fast now because I’m starving. Shouldn’t make a lady wait you know. Terrible you are. Really.” Trying to lighten the mood a little. He had started it and so she continued the trend. Hopefully it would hold.

[Requiem]

He snorted softly when she poked his nose, but didn't argue the point. Yeah he wasn't really that quiet a person, now was he? Not really a babbler either. Just couldn't seem to let opportunities to make a smart-ass comment or tease someone go. So he supposed it must be a bit weird that he wasn't jumping all over those opportunities here lately.

Quite suddenly he found himself being tugged along. Well, that was an abrupt attitude change, now wasn't it? The wherhandler actually had to move at a semi-hurried pace to keep up with her, which meant that the girl was practically jogging to the dining hall with him in tow. "You're claiming to be a lady now, are you?" he questioned, with just a note of teasing behind the words.

It was a simple enough matter, getting the food, even if the dining hall was definitely beginning to fill up by now. They usually got here just early enough to beat the crowds but...well, today wasn't really following the usual routines, now was it? At any rate, before long they were back at Erilena's weyr and Dmitri was beginning to wish he hadn't hurried quite as much. Nevertheless, he didn't let on, instead setting the food down on the table in front of the couch.

The harper nodded to the couch, then sat down himself and took a sip of water from the flask at his hip. "I'm just...worried, I guess. And wondering if I did the right thing. Elysia and I weren't really together but...well, you saw her. She wasn't terribly interested in technicalities like that." This was definitely part of his continued silence, worry over the woman who'd taken it pretty hard when he said they were done. For good.

The other part had more to do with Erilena. "I guess I was also kind of afraid that you'd think ill of me. I mean, I didn't exactly treat you like I should have." That was all he meant to say right now, apparently, because he began forking food into his mouth. (Truthfully, it was to shut himself up so he didn't start babbling at her. Dmitri didn't know how many details she knew. Or how many she wanted to.)

[Rei]

Had to throw the lady comment in there didn’t he? Erilena shot a mock glare back at Dmitri, her eyes narrowing just a little before she oh so maturely stuck her tongue out at him. There retribution without further speech. Tch. Nevertheless the greenrider stayed glued to his side in the dining hall, only releasing his hand when he obviously needed it to carry the food. She used the crowd as her excuse. Didn’t want to get separated from him. Not that that was likely to happen.

Before long they were back at her weyr. Erilena poked at her food for a moment, her eyes lifting from her plate and finding his face as Dmitri nodded towards the couch. For a moment the greenrider concentrated her gaze on her food. Her eyes returning to his face only when the harper began speaking. To prevent the desire to interrupt Erilena took a bite of the food in front of her, not really tasting it.

Worried. About Elysia. Well yes that made sense considering the turns he spent with her. That he had lived with the benden woman. Cared for her. Of course Dmitri would be worried. That was natural. The other part though. That he wasn’t sure he did the right thing, that made it hard for her to swallow. Was he having second thoughts about letting Elysia go then? Was that something she could even ask him? That she should ask him? Reaching for the glass of water she had poured herself Erilena took a careful sip and returned her attention to the harper. Debating. Before she finally offered. “No. She really wasn’t was she. Not that I can blame her. Letting go isn’t easy.”

Dmitri’s next words had an expression of surprise flitting across her face. Needing a moment to gather her thoughts she took another sip of her water and set the glass down. Giving him a light smile she shook her head. “I don’t see why I would think ill of you. I guess I’m confused? You haven’t treated me badly. Not at all.” Hazel eyes slipped back to her food.

“I’ve just been worried about you and not sure how to help. Or even if I can. It’s hard.” The greenrider pushed her food around her plate for a moment and wrinkled her nose. “Breakups aren’t easy and I’m sorry she had to see you kiss me.” Erilena wasn’t sorry for that kiss. She just felt guilty that Elysia had seen it. Not that that mattered now. Swallowing the young woman worried at her lip and then blurted before she could stop herself. “Do you regret it?”

[Requiem]

He smiled wryly at Erilena, the expression itself one that should have made it clear that he didn't agree with what she said. No, he hadn't treated her well these last several days. Just relied on her, crashed on her couch, and ignored the confusion she was describing right now. Let her wrestle with it on her own when she could find no answers because none were being offered her. He definitely wasn't treating her right.

Dmitri blinked openly at Erilena. "What? Kissing you? No. I had to know...just had to know. But it would have been better if Elysia hadn't seen it, you're right." Of course it would have. Not that he felt it really would have made much of a difference, when it came right down to it. "You don't need to feel guilty about it. She wasn't angry at me for any real length of time. Never is." He fiddled with his fork idly.

"It...wasn't really a breakup? We broke up a turn ago. She was just hoping we could get back together and I told her we couldn't. Elysia didn't take it well. At all. I was trying to find the way to hurt her the least but I'm not sure anymore that I chose right." Dmitri set the fork down and sat back on the couch. He glanced at Erilena. "I wanted to...feel for her like I used to. But I just couldn't and it wouldn't have gone well."

She seemed to want the details. At least in a general fashion. So he gave them to her. It didn't make it much easier to say. Dmitri didn't really know what he was doing, for one. He hadn't kissed this girl next to him for no reason, but Elysia had reminded him that he didn't have the right to before he'd taken care of all the loose ends. Some of which he hadn't realized were there until she came back. Erilena was a good friend of his, someone he liked a great deal, and it was something he'd been reminded of nearly daily even before Elysia's return.

There were a lot of confused feelings here. "You've been...removed. I figured Els had shaken you. I don't regret it, but I still probably shouldn't have kissed you at all before I talked to Elysia. It was impulsive."

[Rei]

The response Dmitri offered had Erilena feeling a little better. So he didn’t regret the kiss. Good. She hadn’t wanted him to. Not at all. That in and of itself was almost worrisome. Because the greenrider knew what those feelings likely meant. The guilty part though? The woman couldn’t really help that. Not completely. It was hard not to feel guilty after Elysia had gazed at her with such open hate. Putting herself into the benden woman’s shoes? Well Erilena would most definitely have been upset too. Not hateful. But definitely upset. It was…had been…well…a mess. A mess that was over now but a mess nonetheless. “I’m glad she wasn’t to angry with you.” She offered quietly watching him nervously play with his fork.

The greenrider’s gaze drifted to the harper’s face as he continued to speak. Explain for her what had gone on. It…couldn’t have been easy for Dmitri to speak those words. But it was easier to understand now. “I’m sorry Demi. That couldn’t have been easy. I know….that it really doesn’t help anything. But I am sorry. I just wish I could do more.” But Erilena knew she couldn’t. She couldn’t fix it for him. Couldn’t stop him from hurting or worrying. The only thing she could offer was her support and hope that it would help the harper at least some. When Dmitri leaned back against the couch she placed a hand over one of his. “I’m here for you if you need me. You know that right? If you want to crash out here for a day, or just need to talk.” The greenrider offered him a light smile. “You can even sleep on the bed if you promise not to drool on it.” Erilena tried to lighten the offer by adding a teasing lit to the end of it. But in all reality she wouldn’t mind if he accepted the offer. It was….hard enough not being able to help him as much as she wanted to as it was.

Harder than she thought. Harder because of all the conflicted feelings inside her. She…liked Dmitri. A good deal. Had for a long time but things with R’ven, her own issues, Elysia, all of it had gotten in the way at one time or another. Now when she was finally coming to grips with her own feelings on the issue it was hard. Hard because she didn’t really know if he felt the same way. Or even could currently. He liked being around her. Didn’t feel regret over kissing her. But still in the end that could mean nothing. She could be making to much of it. In truth it was a little frightening. And certainly confusing.

His voice brought the greenrider back from her thoughts and Erilena blushed slightly upon realizing that she had been blankly staring at him the entire time. Whoops. With a sad shake of her head she smiled. “She did shake me up a little. I felt bad. Not because of the kiss but because I felt as if I had a hand in hurting her as well.” With a soft snort she continued. “You’re right you probably shouldn’t have. But…it’s over now and you can’t go back. So try to not beat yourself up over it. It won’t do you any good.” Leaning forward she poked at her food. It was hard to imagine eating with her stomach now in knots.

[Requiem]

Dmitri blinked down at the hand covering his, then looked up at her with a half-questioning smile that also betrayed his amusement. He snorted outright at her comment about drooling on her bed, though something else flickered behind his eyes. Did she really mean that? Oh, Dmitri supposed he'd proven himself trustworthy enough over the turns, especially during Fey's flight, but still...it wasn't something women generally felt comfortable with. Just...sharing...a bed with a man.

It was then that he realized that Erilena was staring at him. This time he couldn't resist. He had to make a face to see if she was spacing out while staring at his face or not. It was either spacing or memorizing his scar patterns, but fortunately she didn't react to his clown face. Clearly spacing. The secrets of his facial scarring would be safe for another day.

Oh, right, that's what they'd been talking about. Dmitri sobered a bit. Watching her pick at her food, the bluehandler wrapped an arm around his knee and went back to his own food. He managed another bite or two before his eyes inevitably went back to Erilena. She'd said she hadn't regretted the kiss, but that didn't mean she'd necessarily welcomed it either.

Then he remembered something. "Erilena. You were going to...say something. Do something. After I kissed you and before Elysia interrupted. I'm curious...what was it?" His eyes were focused on her face, searching her eyes for something that would tell him even if she wouldn't. Though Erilena clearly hadn't liked everything that had happened that night, she'd been afraid he hadn't wanted her around and asked about the kiss...so maybe he hadn't made quite as huge a mess of things as he'd originally thought.

Maybe.

[Rei]

Here was that silly silence again. Picking at her food and not eating it was probably getting a little suspicious but really Erilena couldn’t make herself take another bite. The fluttering in her stomach rebelled against it. Dmitri though seemed to have no trouble eating. The greenrider was almost jealous of that fact. Almost.

There was a little bit of that tension creeping up again. From where she wasn’t sure but it was there and it was aggravating. Erilena was debating just forcing herself to take another bite for the sake of it when the harper spoke again. For the briefest second she froze. Completely froze. She remembered that night obviously. Clearly in fact. Knew what he was talking about. But at the same time….well that had been in the moment and this... The greenrider swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat.

Well Erilena couldn’t just avoid Dmitri’s question forever. Plus the longer she waited the worse the tension would get and oh shard it. Turning towards him her eyes met his. This was ridiculously hard. Ten times harder than she remembered it being. But then she had history with Dmitri. A lot of it. “It’s not something that’s easy for me to explain. Or even say.” Her words where soft the barest tremble present in the tone. “I just wanted to try something.” Yes and then the greenrider had been prevented. But now there was nothing preventing her. Nothing but that sudden spike of ridiculously silly anxiety. Well the harper wanted to know didn’t he? Was asking her?

Without another moments pause Erilena leaned forward and kissed Dmitri. Putting enough pressure behind the gesture to make certain he got the message. Or at least hopefully had some clue. Slowly she pulled away and then pressed her forehead to his, keeping her eyes for the moment closed. “I just…wanted…to try that.”

[Requiem]

He'd taken her by surprise. That he could see instantly. Not only that, but she definitely seemed like she didn't want to answer his question at all. Granted, it was out of context now, but still...he couldn't help but wonder if whatever she meant to say or do just didn't pertain anymore. At all. Dmitri figured he should just tell her to forget it. Not that important really, was it? No. He'd just been curious. It felt a little like he'd lost something, even if he didn't know what it was, but that was okay, too.

Then she was speaking. He cocked his head slightly to one side, a flicker of a frown touching his lips. The harper wasn't sure where she was going with this, not even when she leaned forward, but he didn't freeze as had. His arms circled around her waist and he returned the kiss, keeping it simple like she'd started it. The knot that had been tightening in his stomach dissipated, giving way to a different sensation.

A hand lifted to the back of her head when she broke the kiss, and he couldn't help himself. Not with her so close. The bluehandler kissed her again, deeper, almost hungrily. Then he let her go. Dmitri didn't want to scare her. His leg slid down to join the other on the floor. "I see." The words came a little breathless, and he smiled slightly at her. Even though he wasn't sure how she'd react to him. "I would have liked that," he admitted. Trying to reassure her to some extent.

The bluehandler stared at his food for another moment then pushed it aside with a hand. Not really hungry right now. "Aren't you scared?" he asked her, quietly. Dmitri didn't look at her when he spoke. "You kiss me behind closed doors, offer me your bed. Aren't you afraid I'll take advantage of you?" It was perhaps a strange thing for him to ask, but he knew how sensitive Erilena was on the whole thing.

[Rei]

Dmitri’s arms about her waist weren’t really completely registered till after she had broken her kiss. Erilena was far to happy that he had returned the gesture. Really she meant to speak further but current events rendered that impossible. The harper’s hand had found the back of her head and then his mouth was suddenly on hers again. But this was completely unlike the kiss the greenrider had offered him. This was different. Deeper. Had an edge to it that she wasn’t expecting, slightly frightened her in a way. Nevertheless she participated with an enthusiasm that surprised her. The sudden warmth that flooded her body was wonderful and in response a shiver ran through her frame. The tension that she had been feeling previously had completely fled. Leaving her instead feeling relieved…happy.

Erilena gave a small breathless gasp when Dmitri finally released her, eyes immediately searching for his. What she wanted to find or expected to she wasn’t sure. The breathless words he offered where met with a soft smile, her eyes still examining his face. “I’m glad.” The words where soft spoken in a tone barely above a whisper but they didn’t need to be loud. The harper was right there after all. Could hear her clearly. His words where accepted with no small amount of relief. He liked her answer. That exhilarated the greenrider. The feeling certainly doing little to calm her rapidly beating heart.

Erilena watched Dmitri push the plate away with a small bit of apprehension however. Was there something wrong? Her eyes again flicked to his face but he wasn’t looking at her. The soft quality to the harper’s tone was hard to read. His question didn’t clear it up either. Was she scared? The greenrider smiled, a hand reaching out to touch the side of his face. “I was scared. But not because I thought for a second that you’d take advantage of me.” She shook her head softly.

“I trust you Demi. I know you wouldn’t do that. I know you care about me to much to do something like that.” And it was the truth. Erilena trusted Dmitri. Completely. Knew he’d never take advantage of her like that. “I was scared because I didn’t want to be wrong. I didn’t want it to be one sided.” It had terrified her that maybe he wouldn’t feel the same way. That somehow she’d been mistaken. That he wouldn’t want her. But she was wrong about that. Wasn’t she?

“Demi?”

[Requiem]

It was becoming more and more clear that Dmitri had been overthinking things, at least as far as Erilena was concerned. Worrying about Elysia's effect on her, R'ven, where everything was going...It would be easy for someone on the outside to call this a rebound, but Elysia had been out of Dmitri's life for a long time. She came back into it unexpectedly, yes, and the night a sevenday ago was an emotional whirlpool that still was effecting him in some ways. It didn't change the fact that they'd been over for quite awhile. Or that the harper had had a crush on Erilena since the day he met her at that storytelling contest.

It couldn't change the turns of friendship between them or the way she came to him again and again with her problems and concerns. Some she probably shouldn't have. No, the sad truth was that Elysia had interrupted something else. Dmitri had wanted to pull back from Erilena, had thought that Elysia's return would mean he could take the woman back and love her again. Why throw away something like that? And it wouldn't hurt Erilena because they hadn't gone down that route yet. But it turned out that love wasn't just a switch you could throw. Without it, without the trust that would be necessary to develop it, there was no hope for him and Elysia.

He'd been afraid, though. Afraid that the encounter with Elysia would sabotage the thing that was growing between him and Erilena. The girl's words, her actions were unexpected. Things couldn't be going so right. They hadn't for so long that it seemed nothing short of surreal and...well, he couldn't help but feel at least a little guilty. Why should things be working out for him with this beautiful woman when he'd just torn the world out from under Elysia?

Dmitri pressed his cheek lightly into Erilena's palm. One thing was for certain, though. Even if that guilt made him question things, the simple truth was Erilena was invested, more than he'd ever thought. It wouldn't just be himself he'd be hurting if he let the guilt get to him. Even now, her question was betraying a need and a fear. The bluehandler brushed his lips over her palm.

"It's not," he murmured. And so close, there was no need to say it any louder than that. "You're not wrong. When I told you I had to know? I was afraid of the same thing...but I thought if I did it in a playful context it wouldn't hurt our friendship too much if I was wrong." A slight, sheepish smile touched his lips. "That and you were distracting that close."

Dmitri pulled her gently into his side. "I've wanted to kiss you for quite awhile." It was, ironically, Elysia that had stopped him. When she first came back. That and the fear that Erilena was just being Erilena. Overly friendly and unaware of what she was doing, so that any interest he showed in her that wasn't purely platonic would frighten her.