Never Prepared (Open)

[Requiem]

It was a strange hour for a dragonrider to be out, particularly on the heights. Stranger still for the Weyrleader to be alone in the witching hour, with the darkness gathered deep and thick. He should be in the room adjacent to the dragon he'd bonded to over a quarter of a century ago, curled against his very pregnant weyrmate. Next month. Next month he'd have another child, his fourth since coming to Selenitas. If Rukbat didn't laugh and hand him another set of twins. Not that he regretted the twins, but he had enough children. More than enough. He just didn't care to give Aliscia something to wield against him later...not allowing her to have a child. She wanted it. They could afford another. Did he personally want another one? He was...shockingly indifferent. Children had never been part of his plans. He simply shaped his life around them as they came. Loved them. Wanted to keep them close. But that was all reactive. Sometimes he wondered if he was broken.

Tonight he didn't wonder. Salenth, though asleep, was a solid, reassuring presence in his mind - and the only one. His fingers uncurled, carefully peeling back the corners of the handkerchief. He'd wondered, before, if the death of someone - or something - would be easier if you knew in advance, if it wasn't a shock. Tonight he didn't wonder that either. It wasn't...any easier. The gaping, shredded hole inside him that had been Worm for the last - nearly four turns - was just as painful. Some part of him knew that if Salenth wasn't here with him he wouldn't be able to bear it at all. He shivered slightly, though the air wasn't at all chilly. Feeling broken and numb. And cold.

Especially because he knew that, tomorrow, he'd head right back in to his office, drill with his wing, take care of his weyrmate in the last hard months of her pregnancy, spend time with Miguel...business and life as usual. No one but him would even notice that Worm was gone. Maybe Aliscia. Miguel would, because he noticed things like that. But no one else. To Selenitas, though she was the creature he loved most second only to Salenth - she was nothing. It didn't seem fair at all. And all because Ophelie died. Nothing he'd done, nothing he hadn't done, nothing to do with him at all. Nor the heat. Ophelie. A firelizard. A pet. He'd always hated firelizards...and now that was increased tenfold. (Worm would never be a pet to him. Her presence was only a little less than Salenth's.)

Cupping his hand, he released her, to fall unwitnessed amongst the pounding water of the waterfall, buried where she'd been Hatched. Maybe the river would take her to the sea that she loved to watch. But he couldn't bear to rid himself of the shell she'd clung to since he gave it to her when he'd met T'san at the ocean's edge. T'san, who had been surprised that he had a salamandyr at all. S'rei drew his legs into his chest, allowing himself the rare luxury of not worrying about what people saw when they looked at him. There was no one out here to witness his grief.

[Kisha-Ra]

It wasn’t like she imagined. She never really thought that flying would involved having a heavy wing pumping away on either side of her occasionally brushing her legs, and she never thought that it would be so hard, now that she had Yosk in the air (after how many months of persuasion and practice?) Yoalla found herself having to constantly make small shifts in posture to keep her weight balanced and make things easier on her wher. A grin without an ounce of sauciness in it found its way onto Yoalla’s face. Flying might be harder work than she thought but Yosk was certainly enjoying herself, for once the pale little wher didn’t feel in the slightest embarrassed, awkward, or confused. No, Yosk was proud of herself, and Yoalla was proud of Yosk.

Away! Away ugly! Of course every perfect moment must come to an end, and it was inevitable that The Devil and Denial should interrupt Yoalla’s. The nearly legless firelizard was slithering her way over Yoalla’s shoulder and onto the back of her neck in pursuit of the salamandyr perched on the other shoulder. The green salamandyr in her turn was frilling and hissing furiously at Denial, mixing near in articulate threats and commands into her attempt at intimidation. Yoalla carefully shifted to lift a hand and prod at Denial to stop her moving, at least if the firelizard fell she’d be able to fly. ‘If you two can’t behave you won’t fly again.’ She murmured the threat, not knowing, or really caring if either of the greens understood her. ‘I’ll leave you alone together in my room to scrap.’ Honestly, she thought as she felt Denial retreat and The Devil settle, why couldn’t the two of them be more like Lao, or even Zai? The older two firelizards happily soared alongside and around Yosk, the wher’s joy in her newly won ability even cutting through Zai’s habitual daze to make the little firelizard whirl and dance escort around her. Really both of them were quite sweet in spite of Lao’s odd gender confusion and Zai’s being, well, not quite bright, but Devil and Denial, urgh, if she’d Impressed one of them first that would have been it for pets. Either of them was enough to put any sane person off.

Yosk cut through her bonded’s current meandering thoughts to let Yoalla know she tiring and wanted to land now. A soft touch to her neck reassured the wher that she could do as she wished. As she drifted downwards Yosk huffed sadly, clearly regretting having to land at all. The actual landing was somewhat rough, being the first Yosk had made with a rider. Denial went tumbling toward the ground with a shriek, The Devil dug her into Yoalla’s skin hard enough to draw blood, and Yoalla only just saved herself from pitching onto the ground.

After a silent check on each of her mindmates it actually occurred to the greenhandler to have a look around and see what general area of the Weyr she was in, she’d lost track in flight, even with good night vision flying in the dark was disorientating. After blinking a few times it came to her. Near the top of the waterfall, not a bad distance for a wher to fly considering the roundabout way they’d come here. Was that someone else out here?

Noting the posture of the shadowed figure Yoalla wiped the silly grin off her face and replaced it with her best neutral expression, which wasn’t very good. Who would be out here at this time of night? The silvery light of the moons showed her only that it was a man, a very tall one, but no detail She felt sure he wasn’t a wherhandler, she’d have recalled if someone that tall had moved in, so who was he? A drudge maybe, or one of the healer or harper journeymen, surely a grown man wouldn’t still be an apprentice.

Yoalla paced forward, cautiously as Yosk settled on the ground and her pets scattered around the area. She’d be the first to admit she wasn’t a great one with words, unless it was innuendo or insults, so she sat cross legged on the ground an arms length or so away from the mystery man and wandered how she was going to open this one up. Lao felt no such qualms, who cared who the man was! He was sad. Saaaad. The bronze firelizard looped once and landed neatly on S’rei’s shoulder. Not to worry, sad one, his was here, and the rest of them, but they hardly counted.

[Requiem]

He didn't notice the flying creature in the darkness, though it landed far enough from him that this shouldn't have come as too much of a shock. Human senses weren't the best. S'rei didn't even have the benefit of being accustomed to it like the wherhandlers, and he certainly had no mindmates to warn him. That wasn't to say he was caught completely by surprise, though. Shrieking firelizards tended to be rather hard to ignore, after all, which in itself suggested a Selenitas resident. (That they were at Selenitas currently also suggested that, but since Fort had apparently been harvesting people from Selenitas, making the assumption wasn't entirely wise.)

It took no real adjustment, slipping the blade from a boot sheath so carefully maintained that it made no sound. Otherwise he didn't move, however, didn't look at his company to try to discern their shape...merely listened. Large creature, but not large at all compared to the ones he most frequently dealt with. A wher, then. The blade returned to its sheath just as silently as it had left. Getting a foreign wher here would not be easy, and either way, if the newcomer was hostile (which anyone could see why the Weyrleader might be cautious, out alone at night) a wher was more than a match for him. In all likelihood if he hadn't been attacked already he wouldn't be.

The weight on his shoulder received a sideways glance from the bronzerider. "Can't get away from your kind, can I?" he questioned the bronze firelizard tiredly, his words soft. "At least you're not a green...I suppose." While he held little but distaste for firelizards (especially now) S'rei wasn't the sort of person to do anything to deliberately upset someone else's pet unless he at least knew who they were. Laurie's green he'd had no qualms brushing off him, the menace. He glanced toward the woman to whom this pet belonged, the girl who apparently had decided to come...join him. For whatever purpose he had no idea. He searched his memory for a name.

There were only two female wherhandlers, if he remembered correctly, and unless that was a really small bronze moving around..."Hello Yoalla." He stretched out his legs in front of him, smoothly shifting to a less...childlike...position. The older man regarded her for a small time, mostly ignoring the bronze on his shoulder. "I didn't hear Yosk approach." There was just the slightest tone of questioning to the words, one that could be ignored if she chose. S'rei didn't really feel in the mood for company, although it would have been a lie to say she was wholly unwelcome... He was less likely to dwell with someone else watching.

[Kisha-Ra]

Lao blinked a few times in an incredulous manner before the answer came to him. Of course, it was dark and Lao was big for a green, so naturally this poor day walking dragonrider had mistaken him for another colour in the dark. Well then, Lao was prepared to be forgiving. The gender confused firelizard chattered softly in a comforting manner and looked imploring over at his person. Come on then, where were the hugs? She always had hugs when Lao was sad; she even had hugs for The Devil.

The side of Yoalla’s mouth furthest from the figure at her side pulled up into a smile for Lao, he had such a simple outlook on life, but then aside from his unshakeable conviction that he was a green and the ways he explained away every evidence otherwise, Lao was a simple creature. The comment on greens probably deserved a comment but as Zai had perched on a convenient branch to stare blankly into space, Denial had vanished in search of something to stuff herself with, and The Devil was arrogantly sprawled on the back of Yosk’s head Yoalla didn’t make one. Especially not since the voice, tired though it was, allowed her to identify the man as S’rei.

Okay, so identifying the weyrleader, probably no points even though she was a lowly wherhandler. A better question would be how he knew who she was, not to mention her wher’s name. Or maybe it wasn’t all that hard, there were only a few whers and handlers to learn the names of, barely enough to fill up the wher quarters. ‘Hello. Sorry, I know Lao can be a pain but he’s just trying to make you feel better.’ Yoalla held out an arm for her bronze but he chirped sharply enough that she lowered it again, shaking her head over the scolding from her pet.

A shift in posture and the air of sadness that surrounded S’rei moments before was dispelled somewhat. The slight questioning tone made Yoalla duck her head like a guilty child. ‘Yosk can fly.’ She admitted. ‘A short way at least.’ Yosk barked her agreement softly, pleased enough by her achievement to voice an opinion on it.

After a slight pause Yoalla looked sideways at the weyrleader. ‘Now, isn’t about time for a dragonrider to be curled up in bed, or is all the heat keeping you awake?’ Yoalla asked, fishing for the reason S’rei was outside in the dead of night without seeming to ask a prying question, she hoped.

[Requiem]

S'rei glanced at this bronze 'Lao' again, his hand coming up to stroke the firelizard gently. It wasn't so much a welcome as simple acceptance that the bronze wasn't likely to leave him alone unless he responded favorably. He wasn't angry at the flit, anyway...it was just hard. Even he hadn't expected Worm to hit him so hard; he had a 26 turn long bond with the much larger bronze sprawled out on one of the weyrledges below them that made something like four turns look infantile. And Ophelie had liked his shoulder...It wasn't uncommon for her to perch there, when seeking out Worm, and for Worm to join her. In all likelihood people had thought the firelizard his, if they bothered to note one more flit among the crowd. So many pets, at Selenitas. "He's all right," S'rei responded, for Yoalla's benefit. She needn't worry about her firelizard.

Her response generated some very real interest from the Weyrleader, his head swiveling toward Yosk's bark as if by staring into the darkness and barely making out her shape he could evaluate the truth of the girl's words. "Sustained flight? Even for short distances, that's impressive." Though his voice still wasn't loud by any means, he'd elevated the volume enough to be sure that Yosk could hear him too. She should be proud of something like that. Most whers couldn't manage more than a glide. Absently, he wondered if Ka'rys was still keeping an eye on the Night Watch...likely not. Uu'n was gone. Did it still even exist? He should probably know, as Weyrleader, but there was just so much going on, and for the longest time there had been just wherlings. Wherlings too young to get involved in the Night Watch. Piden and Eikane...he made a mental note to meet with them later. And Roivao, too, come to think.

Questions. He mentally sighed. It was probably too much to hope that they could keep the topic on Yosk and her surprising skill. There were so many ways he could respond to that, ways that would likely be taken at face value. Needed fresh air to think and was working late. The heat as she'd suggested. The easiest and most believable would likely be that his weyrmate was pregnant. He wouldn't have to explain further; the assumptions would line up with what he wanted her to believe quite easily. But he knew the question was meant to mask a more direct probing. Why? Because she'd said that Lao just wanted him to feel better. Which meant they knew he was feeling bad...probably because he hadn't bothered to put up his walls when he thought himself alone.

Moreover, S'rei wasn't a good liar. It was one of the few things he'd never been able to pick up, either as a child or in the northern weyrs.

"Ophelie died in the first heatwave." A leg came up, S'rei leaning back on his palms, his gaze returning to the darkness past the cliff, making out shapes and patches in the moonlight. It was odd, really...even when working late, he never took the time to simply watch the night pass. "Ka'rys's firelizard. My salamandyr's mate. Worm died tonight...just fell asleep...I woke up and she wasn't...there." His face was peaceful, if sad, but he couldn't quite speak the words without them breaking up on him. He looked at Yoalla, sliding his fingers over Lao again, this time just to touch something. "It's quiet...is the Night Watch still in place? I forgot to ask after Ka'rys hit his head. Just figured he was managing it since he started it."

[Kisha-Ra]

Yoalla shrugged one shoulder in a gesture that seemed to be agreement and dismissal rolled into one, not even she was all that sure what she felt about such a comment. Yosk was pleased, but, Yoalla thought, just a little suspicious, as if she simply couldn’t let go of her paranoid edge, even when praise was so richly deserved. ‘Yosk does have an advantage, her wings are, um, really big compared to the other whers.’ Yoalla didn’t like to point out her wher’s differences too much, because Yosk was horribly sensitive about her wings, and her eyes, and just about everything else, but in this case it was probably a necessary statement. However flying seemed to have made Yosk a bit more confident about her wings, for tonight at least, and the green stood and spread her wings to display their size, which was, indeed, huge.

For a moment Yoalla thought she wasn’t going to get an answer, the silence dragged out just long enough for her to consider getting up and leaving the weyrleader alone with his thoughts before S’rei began speaking again. A convulsive shudder ran over Yoalla’s body at the opening sentence, not one day went by recently without her feeling thankful that Lao was a great deal smarter than the colour he claimed to be and able to keep her little tribe of green pets safe, from the heat if not from each other.

To her shame, and vague horror, Yoalla felt her nose itching in a way that always meant her eyes were going to fill with tears. The idea that a salamandyr could just pine away was a horrible one, even though Yoalla was forced to admit she didn’t much like her salamandyr most of the time. Slowly Yoalla’s hand crossed the gap between her and S’rei to rest on his upper arm in a silent expression of sympathy while Lao offered a soft comforting croon.

Abruptly the subject changed but Yoalla was more than half expecting it, death, and all it’s associations was not a comfortable subject to linger on. ‘If it’s still going no one bothered to tell me, but at the moment I think all that’s going on is Piden trying to encourage us all to play happy families.’ Yoalla rolled her eyes toward the end of the sentence, just to make it clear how interested she was in that concept. Night watch sounded much more interesting to her. It sounded like proper work for wherhandlers, maybe she should bring up the topic with Piden sometime, it might get him off the family wagon.

[Requiem]

Though anything he might have said in response to the comment about Yosk's wings had been cut off by the turn in conversation, S'rei had not forgotten about it. The smile he'd offered Yosk as she'd shown them to him wasn't even forced. At all. So maybe it would be all too helpful when it came to maybe helping other whers fly as well, but just that Yosk could was an asset. Besides which, if she practiced, she might be able to figure out ways for the other whers to, or Yoalla might be able to...at least the ones with wings that would support them. It couldn't hurt to look into it, anyway. Not that they weren't extremely useful on the ground, especially considering Selenitas was in the middle of a jungle.

He was...a little surprised, though, to say the least. That this girl had chosen to reach out and touch him. Comfort? Sympathy? He wasn't sure, though it was an odd enough occurrence, considering most people saw him for his title - or the color dragon he rode - and little else. Then again, he didn't show his emotions to most people. Wouldn't have to Yoalla if she hadn't stumbled upon him by accident as she had. So then maybe it wasn't so odd, in that sense, though it still intrigued him on some level. (And yes, despite the fact that he barely knew the girl and Lao was indeed one of the firelizards he disliked, their presence was soothing. Especially since Yoalla didn't comment. That, in particular, he was grateful for.)

"Happy families?" he questioned, not really understanding what it was that was supposed to be. Brushing that aside, he brushed his fingers over her hand in silent thanks. "Oh, I was wondering how your knew quarters suited you...behind the falls. It keeps out the light during the day all right?" Yes, he'd tried to make it the easiest he could on them, and also make it so that the whers could move around in the day if they wanted to, in the part of the cliffs devoted to them and their handlers. "Well, I'd expect the Night Watch to be starting up soon, and you can mention that to your fellow handlers. If you don't mind...maybe describing them to me, apart from Roivao? I know most of you by name, but since our paths never cross..."

He wanted to know where they might fit within the Night Watch, so he could make suggestions to whoever ended up leading it. Just suggestions. They knew each other better than he could, but on the other hand, he'd been doing this for many turns. Would even be willing to help get them started, even if it cut in on his sleep a bit. That wasn't a problem.

[Kisha-Ra]

Yosk fanned her wings gently and offered a soft chirp in return for S’rei’s smile, though she was quite unable to comprehend why her wings would make anyone smile. Weren’t they stupidly big? Despite her doubts Yosk huffed disappointedly when he turned away and folded her wings flat again. Oh, he was upset about something else? The green dropped her head to one side; listening intently and maintaining a light touch on her handler’s mind to make sense of the bits she didn’t understand.

His devilthing had died? Yosk blinked slowly. It was sad when things went away like that, because they didn’t come back. The wher lifted her head and attempted to look at the back of her head where The Devil was still clinging, peacefully asleep now that Denial had vanished off somewhere. Maybe he’d like The Devil, Yoalla didn’t need all these annoying green pets surely…

Yosk walked slowly up to the two humans and flopped down behind Yoalla, placing her head conveniently between them so that The Devil could leave. However Yosk’s attempt to give Devil away was a complete failure as the salamandyr remained steadfastly clinging, and fast asleep, one slightly brighter spot on Yosk’s pale hide.

Yoalla’s face remained serious as her wher tried to offload The Devil, though her eyes danced with mirth at the green’s disappointment when the salamandyr entirely failed to leap off and plague S’rei. Her hand dropped from the weyrleader’s arm to Yosk’s muzzle to try and soothe the green’s disappointment.

Yoalla nodded solemnly, though S’rei’s tone suggested he didn’t get the reference. ‘Oh yes, between him, our lovely goldhandler, and Nautic they’ll soon have us acting like a big band of brothers.’ A second eyeroll accompanied this rather petulant statement to make her feelings on the matter crystal clear.

A second nod. ‘Oh yes, I don’t think I’ve seen a speck of sunlight since we moved in under there.’ This time Yoalla did push her feelings out of her voice, she was probably the only wherhandler on Pern who ever wanted a window, which it was going to be nigh on impossible to install in a rock face. Sometimes Yoalla wondered if she was really supposed to a night person. ‘It’s certainly less isolated then our old place.’ She added, feeling some kind of positive comment was required.

If Yoalla had been any kind of animal with movable ears they would have pricked up at the mention of the night watch (whatever it actually was) starting up soon. ‘I don’t know most of them all that well.’ Yoalla admitted with a sheepish kind of look. ‘I shared a room with Ariya and her bronze for half a turn and I never really got to know them. All I really learnt about her is that she’s very quiet.’ Yoalla kept quiet on the subject of Ariysk too, she had a feeling that thanks to Yosk’s shiny clutch siblings she was never going to be able to be unbiased about any bronze of gold. ‘So if you were going to use my impressions of my fellow handlers to sort us into some kind of order, it might be better to do something else instead.’ Yoalla looked down at Yosk’s head rather than make any kind of eye contact, it was so much easier to get to know people who were hiring a temporary bedmate than the people she was supposed to work with. Well she’d just have to work harder, or something.

[Requiem]

He didn't realize what it was Yosk was attempting, or notice the creature on the back of her head (though the latter might have been a matter of deliberate blindness, considering S'rei wasn't someone usually plagued by a lack of perception). This was probably for the best, too, given the last thing he wanted right now was to think of someone else's salamandyr, much less a green one. No, he was perfectly fine ignoring the existance of the breed entirely at present, even though Lao wasn't really allowing him the courtesy of ignoring firelizards in the same way. Tch. Without hesitation, he reached out to scratch along the line of Yosk's jaw, even though this wasn't exactly a recommended practice even amongst whers who had handlers. That she was so close seemed to suggest she wouldn't mind, however. (Actually, S'rei didn't have a conscious reason for the action; he was doing it before he'd thought about it.) "Hi there, beautiful," he murmured to the wher.

S'rei's eyes flicked to Yoalla with a small amount of amusement at the bitter edge to her tone. Piden, Eikane and Nautic were promoting this family talk, were they? The bronzerider always found it amusing when people felt the need to come out and say it. We should be a family yada yada. Course, family meant something different to weyrbred, and he was pretty sure (he couldn't remember in Piden's case) that all the ones she'd mentioned were holdbred. Was Nautic? Actually, it turned out he wasn't sure at all. Hm. It would make more sense, though, if that was the case. No, if you did happen to become close, like the concept of a family, that was one thing, but throwing the buzzword around was a bit...cheesy. Especially when involving mostly teenagers.

The Weyrleader shifted slightly. He didn't really know what was best for wherhandlers, to be honest. Selenitas didn't tradtionally maintain a wher population; it was a fairly new addition since he'd arrived. They'd brought in some older handlers from nearby holds to help, get some insight, had started the Nightwatch under Uu'n and Adith (a pair that proved too accident-prone to be reliable), but all in all they weren't much further than they'd started. "To be honest, I really don't know what you handlers and your whers need," he admitted quietly. "If you've any suggestions at all..."

Yoalla's response was genuinely...surprising to S'rei, who looked at her with no small amount of curiosity. She'd been with this small group of people for what? It must be coming up on a turn now. It wasn't like there were a great number of nocturnals walking around Selenitas. Hm. "Being a big happy family is probably a bit much, but it's not terribly healthy to keep yourself separate from everyone," he commented softly, still stroking Yosk's jaw. "They're going to be the people who support you. Maybe a few of the new wherhandlers in Eikask's later clutches but...I don't know, there's something about the people who Impressed in the same clutch. At least, that's how it was for me."

[Kisha-Ra]

Yosk sighed in disappointment, apparently S’rei was not going to take The Devil away, and judging by the way the salamandyr’s tail snaked up to loop around one of Yosk’s headknobs, The Devil was not leaving. Startled by the weyrleader’s compliment the wher looked back at her body as if to make sure it was the same one she usually had before pushing her head back against his hand. He thought she was beautiful now but just wait until he saw Eikask, or even Nautsk. Her sisters were really beautiful, Yosk would barely pass as cute next to them with her bug eyes and washed out colour. They weren’t even clumsy like Yosk.

Yoalla broke out into a smile, the way to her heart was not always to complement her mind mates, but anyone who called Yosk beautiful won serious points. Who knew, maybe if it didn’t come from Yoalla Yosk would even believe it. ‘Actually even though I have no hope of ever getting the window I wanted there, the new wher quarters are pretty good.’ She admitted after considering the matter for a few moments. ‘Especially for any more domestic bred whers that might come along. Yosk and her clutchmates can at least stand a bit of daylight as long as it doesn’t get too bright, but the domestic strain just doesn’t seem to be able to take the light at all.’ For a moment Yoalla lapsed into silence, wondering why that was, it couldn’t be an advantage for domestic whers to be all but blind in daylight could it?

Yoalla dropped her gaze to the ground, struggling to pull her thoughts on the subject of the other wherhandlers into some kind of order, and Lao promptly abandoned his perch on S’rei to land on Yoalla and offer her a quiet chirp. Pulling the firelizard into her lap like a child with a toy and stroking him much the same way Yoalla looked up again. ‘I don’t know. I just wish sometimes people would think before they chucked the phrase ‘lets be a family’ around like it was actually a desirable state.’ The wherhandler’s tone hadn’t lost any of its acidic edge. ‘It’s probably different for dragonriders, you’ve got longer to get to know everyone from your clutch for one thing, and, well we handlers sometimes seem to just be muddling through, like we don’t really know much about our mindmates at all.’ Yoalla raised her face to stare blankly out over the falls. ‘There are so few of us, bound by very little, rattling around Weyr’s nights. We may never know each other.’

[Requiem]

S'rei grunted acknowledgment of her words regarding whers, having very little knowledge of them himself. Which was part of the problem, no doubt, a problem Yoalla brought up as she continued. He continued stroking Yosk almost absently, grateful to find himself suitably flitterless.

"I don't know about a desirable state," the bronzerider admitted quietly. "My family had more than its share of problems, even though we stayed together instead of splitting up like most do at a Weyr." His eyes were trained on the course of the river, barely making it out in the dim light of the stars and moons. "I guess people latch on to the idea of family because, no matter how bad things can get between family members, most of the time they'll pull together when there's an outside threat. Close ranks." A slight pause. "Most of the time." But not, as ever, always. Selfishness tended to run rampant, after all, and family loyalty didn't always overcome that. Sometimes it didn't even come close.

He glanced sidelong at Yoalla. "That'll change. I wish we could be of more help to you...I've asked Hyphen about sparing a wherhandler or two, but they've already lost at least one they sent us and are reluctant. You may have to figure it out on your own...but there will definitely be more wherhandlers as time goes on, and it'll get harder and harder to rattle around without involving yourselves in someone else's meanderings," he finished, with just a touch of amusement. S'rei's eyes searched her profile over Yosk's head for a long moment. "You know, Yoalla...if you're discontent and feeling cut off, waiting for someone else to fix it for you...probably won't solve your problem."

[Kisha-Ra]

Yoalla’s thoughts drifted off as S’rei talked about family. It was a nice idea she supposed, it probably worked a lot better if your parents weren’t a doxy and some customer and you didn’t grow up in a bordello with a bunch of other unwanted children. ‘It sounds like a nice idea, but I wouldn’t know, I didn’t come from a big family.’ Yoalla sighed, she doubted it was always like that, and it was a proven fact that the worst of everything would always come out in Bitra hold. ‘In any case, I think if you’re going to get that close to people, it has to just happen. I don’t really think it works if you grab a bunch of people and say ‘let’s be a family!’. I can’t imagine what part of their family I’d be anyway, probably a nosy, embarrassing old aunt.’ Yoalla’s attempt to interject a little badly needed humour into the conversation didn’t really work. ‘Maybe we should let the whers take over,’ she mused ‘they’re already a family mostly and I’m sure Roisk and Pidesk would be willingly adopted. Certainly by Eikask.’

Yoalla snorted lightly at the reminder that Eikask would soon be doing important gold type things, the running and clutching that apparently gave her the right to be generally horrible. Of course there was no way Yoalla could say that kind of thing out loud, especially to a bronzerider, without looking like she was jealous or something. ‘I can see why they wouldn’t to send us another one to be honest. This area does seem sort of disaster prone.’ Of course any Weyr was probably disaster prone with a war still going on but no other Weyr wanted Hyphen to lean out handlers, so it was kind of a moot point. ‘Well that’s true. I wouldn’t mind seeing a few new faces around here either.’ Who knew, there might be a wher out there with even less self esteem than Yosk, they could be paranoid together.

‘I don’t know.’ Yoalla shrugged. ‘I’m not really into waiting for other people to solve my problems but there’s not a large selection of people to interact with in the middle of the night.’ After a slight pause she elaborated. ‘Most of the handlers we’ve got seem like kids compared to me, and we tend not to get along because of that. I think they’re silly, and who knows what they think of me…’

Yosk wriggled happily, she didn’t really understand the turn the conversation had taken, but more whers sounded like a good idea to her. More people to play with, the drudges that worked the late night and early morning had such a tendency to scream when Yosk tried to play with them that she’d all but given up, and hatchlings, hatchlings were cute and they liked to play too.

[Requiem]

S'rei couldn't help but smile slightly at Yoalla's half-rant. She had several valid points, that was for sure. Family was an interesting concept for the bronzerider anyway, even if he knew what the wherhandlers had meant by it. His brothers killing each other and his father killing his mother to protect the Selenitas Weyrwoman before quietly slipping off into seclusion and likely oblivion...kind of put a damper on the whole concept just a little. "Old might be a little much," he responded dryly to her humor, flicking a hand at her. Old indeed. Although...as he recalled the wherhandlers were something of a young bunch, weren't they?

He grunted noncommittally. "Ever since Benden goldriders started hiding here." Hard to tell if there was accusation in his words or not...they sounded mostly tired. Ten turns ago for him...six for everyone else. It was long past. Though he could still distinctly remember Shmee getting pissed at him for growling at Kaegan when she showed up on their doorstep, ensuring they'd get tangled up in the northern struggles. He'd thought her a stuck-up little twit of a girl. Strange how he'd forgotten that until the end.

Glancing at her, he frowned slightly. Then chuckled, the sound real enough. "Aren't you a bit young to be having my sort of problems, Yoalla? They can't be that much younger than you...although men always did mature slower than women. What you probably need is some more estrogen, I should think." Leaning back, he eyed her with a small amount of amusement. "My dragon is older than half the people at this Weyr. Twenty-seven. Not that he seems to notice his age like I do. Sometimes I wonder how long they'd live if their lives weren't bound to ours."

After a long moment, he added, quietly, "Thank you for the company, Yoalla." And meant it. Much as he hadn't wanted any, the loss of Worm hurt just that little bit less. A little.