For we too have lived in arcadia (M'kai)

[Avu]

He’d never actually realized what he’d missed about living in a Weyr was exactly nothing at all.

At least, nothing that appealed to him anymore; A’emi supposed that at some point he’d found the idea of getting hopelessly lost in tunnels an absolutely fascinating sport, but just—no. Not to mention that he was absolutely itching to do something outside, which would probably not go over well; just because he’d gotten into Burimyu didn’t mean he expected they trusted him—at least, he sincerely hoped they didn’t, because if they did they were goners once Selenitas hopped to—and Burimyu wasn’t exactly full of welcoming, excitable people. And, while he’d gotten word that M’kai was actually still alive and hanging around (and K’sel too—where he’d popped up was beyond A’emi, but he suspected it was just K’sel being endearingly stupidly K’sel), he hadn’t actually seen him.

The appropriate response to this was probably not trying to find his room in the middle of the night, but A’emi was nothing if not determined, and Kyrahth had long given up on trying to talk him out of things.

Her entirely unhelpful suggestion was, Don’t get lost, whereupon she’d turned around entirely and curled up on the weyrledge, peering with truly impressive paranoia into the night. A’emi had then proceeded to get hopelessly lost, and also stub his toe.

Fifty minutes later, he actually managed to get un-lost and was eyeing a door he thought was M’kai’s warily. He wet his lips and then scowled indignantly—it wasn’t like he was getting anything accomplished standing here. If it wasn’t M’kai’s room then at least maybe it’d be someone who could point him in the right direction (and hopefully someone too stupid to realize that trying to stalk down the Candidatemaster at around two in the morning was not actually a normal nighttime activity), and if it was, then good, he wouldn’t have to spend more time getting lost in the labyrinth that he’d tumbled into.

He knocked, three sharp raps.

About half a second later, he realized that he didn’t have anything to actually say except maybe ‘So hey, how’s your life been the past two years?’ and he hadn’t shaved or changed from his decidedly Northern-appropriate clothing, and took a hasty step back in case the immediate and involuntary response was punching or something more fatal.

I’m sure he won’t punch you, Kyrahth commented sleepily. She’d apparently exhausted her paranoia for the moment; A’emi could only sense a vague sense of exhaustion and disinterest. The green didn’t remember who M’kai was, or Futh, and she’d made it fairly clear that after Elysia and Onyth she didn’t want to know them, because clearly A’emi’s taste in company was absolutely awful. You’d duck. Probably.

“Your faith in me is astounding,” A’emi replied out loud, thoughtlessly, probably considerably too loud for the hour or the occasion.

[Ruby]

M'kai did tend to stay up late; Isori kept him up more often than not (although they never did much more than cuddle these days), and when she couldn't sneak past Sel'n, or had to be up early the next morning, he found himself generally unable to sleep without something warm to curl up around. Honestly, he couldn't believe they hadn't been caught or disciplined yet, especially after that performance at the tithe theft celebration/wake for R'fuin and Ylonth. Maybe everyone was too embarrassed about what they'd done to worry about what the Candidatemaster had been doing with that Weyrling; he sincerely hoped so. Didn't want to get Isori in trouble, didn't want to lose his job. Aikelyth couldn't mature fast enough.

So, when the knock came, he was stripped to his boxers - normal sleepwear for M'kai - and half-heartedly slumping around his weyr, tossing clothes into the laundry whenever he tripped over them. Futh was asleep, sprawled out on his couch, and Kami slumbered on her favorite perch by his desk, head under her wing. Neither one so much as twitched a wing when the rapping started, used to late-night visitors, but M'kai's head snapped up, bleary insomnia immediately replaced by a smile. It was later than normal, but who else could it be? Isori was the only one who'd visit him in the middle of the night, or maybe Cr'oph if Jazz had finally dumped him. Briefly considering a shirt, he made a face and headed for the door instead, pulling it open and -

There was a ghost outside his door.

No, not a ghost; A'emi. It had been more than a year since the Gather, and the Greenrider looked it, with an unkempt beard and clothes that practically brought the scent of snow with them. A'emi didn't have to worry about a punch, as he was more likely to be blinked to death. The bluerider stood absolutely still, the only hint that he was still alive in the flashes of expression as his brain went to war. What was A'emi doing here? What should M'kai do about it? How should he feel? Happiness was all tied up with anger, confusion with clarity, apathy and annoyance with a sort of desperate longing that M'kai had never expected to feel, certainly not for this man. Or any man.

Unable to decide on a course of action, the redhead's eyes narrowed - he'd opened the door just in time to hear A'emi speak aloud, and his moment of confusion took only slightly longer than it took A'emi to finish speaking - and he shifted feet, moving slightly to block his doorway. Didn't know if he wanted A'emi in his room right now. "What? My faith?" Shaking his head, he added, "What are you doing here?"

[Avu]

The door opened with surprising alacrity, left A’emi blinking intelligently at the stretch of bare skin he was presented with. Not that he was complaining. He was definitely not complaining at all. Except that it was generally considered fairly rude to talk to someone’s chest as opposed to their face, so he reluctantly raised his gaze and blinked at M’kai in a way he hoped did not look too desperately like he’d just been ogling him. Not that, he supposed, it mattered much; based on M’kai’s near-comical blinking it didn’t seem like the details were really registering quite as well as they ought.

He said, helpfully, “Hi.”

Then he frowned—he hadn’t realized M’kai had overheard him talking to Kyrahth. “Not yours,” he corrected absently, already focusing more on the why are you here thing. “I don’t usually start talking to people until I can actually see them, do you always wander around in your boxers, is this a recent development?” Okay, maybe he was still a little caught up on the almost-nudity going on. Not his fault, it wasn’t like you could go around hitting on men in the North. He was deprived, dammit.

He was also planning on contentedly and extensively lying about why he was there—or at least, not telling the complete truth, on account of the fact that he didn’t really know himself how to explain it. It was complicated, it was obnoxiously early in the morning, therefore there would be no long-winded explanations, the end. A’emi shrugged, aimed for a blindingly brilliant smile that was probably effectively countered by the late hours, and answered, “I’m seeing if you want to come on a walk with me, I’m just gonna get lost if I go on my own. Wanna?”

He accompanied the question with an upwards quirk of his eyebrow and a slight jerk of his shoulder towards the dark hallways, his hands finding his pockets, and, impulsively, added, “If you need motivation, I’ve got a present for you.”

Which was sort of a lie since there had been no point at which he’d thought along the lines of oh, I bet M’kai would appreciate this, I should purchase it in a legal and civilized manner and get it gift-wrapped, nor had he decided to put precious time into making something personal and touching, but he still had something and that counted. A’emi took a step back, aiming for coaxing without actually resorting to words.

[Ruby]

"Hi," M'kai replied, on a bemused sort of auto-pilot. Had A'emi spent a little longer looking at his chest than absolutely necessary, or had M'kai imagined that? More importantly, why did he care? Ugh, M'kai thought; his life had settled into such a nice, comfortable pattern, where the biggest question was whether or not Isori would manage to escape the Weyrling barracks tonight. Of course that was the moment A'emi would choose to appear, bringing with him a million questions. Of course.

And the questions kept coming. He'd ignored the bit about talking to Kyrahth, as that made much more sense than A'emi professing sarcastic faith in M'kai when he hadn't seen him in over a year. The next question made M'kai look back over his shoulder, though, searching for a shirt. "Actually, I was on my way to bed, this is normally what I sleep in. Can't sleep, though, I've, um." I've gotten used to sleeping with a cute little Weyrling in your absence? M'kai felt oddly as if he'd cheated, despite the fact that he and A'emi had never been 'in a relationship', not to mention that M'kai never would be. Gross. Leaving off that train of thought, he instead went with "A walk would be nice."

Of course, that was before A'emi mentioned that he had a present. The way the Greenrider said it didn't sound like it should be ominous, but M'kai wasn't exactly trusting when it came to A'emi. Too bad he'd already said yes, and couldn't exactly take it back now without sounding like a jerk. With a sigh, the redhead said "Give me a second" and disappeared back into the room. Shirt pants, jacket... he reached at first for the handmade, beautifully embroidered jacket Isori had made him, but didn't exactly feel like explaining where it had come from, tonight. Instead, he reached for his much-too-heavy flight jacket, shrugging it on despite the fact that the spring night was mostly mild. Slightly too chilled for a normal shirt, but the inhabitants of Burimyu didn't exactly have the largest wardrobes. Flight jacket it was.

After closing his door behind him, M'kai shoved his hands into his pockets, ready to walk. "Are we going anywhere in particular?"

[Avu]

A’emi was (vaguely, distantly) aware that he should probably feel bad at bothering M’kai when he was about to sleep, if he was, indeed, about to sleep, but if that was the kind of view it got him, he couldn’t quite find it within himself to be genuinely apologetic. The greenrider tilted his head, blinking attentively at M’kai, stepping forward to stop the door falling entirely shut with his foot, because yes, he was paranoid. Shut up. He quirked an eyebrow at the bluerider upon his reappearance, slanted an amused smile at his slight overdressing. Not that A’emi could really talk, but whatever—his jacket still wasn’t made for between.

“We travel not to go anywhere, but to go,” he answered absently, already turning towards a direction completely at random. He hadn’t been kidding when he said he’d just get lost, so there wasn’t really any point in pretending that he knew where he was going, was there? “Insomnia sucks. Anyway, like I was saying, I’ve got a present for you, but don’t get your hopes up, it’s only a present if you considerably lower your standards for a minute. So back about a year ago, Kyr and I stopped at Bitra Hold for about two weeks.”

It had been less Kyrahth’s choice than his, but whatever—the details of it weren’t actually that important. Anyway, he was pretty sure the very reputation of Bitra made that clear enough. “Don’t worry, you’re the prettiest of all the prostitutes,” he added lightly, winking with mock gravitas at M’kai. “Anyway, I was playing poker when this guy figured that I was cheating, which, before you ask, I was, but he was also cheating, so I fail to see the problem there, and threw a fit, whatever. Didn’t realize this,” he drew out the crumpled, dazed-looking card from his pocket, folded in half, “had fallen into my boot till after. It’s been my bad-luck card since.”

He recognized the pessimism in that statement—it wasn’t like A’emi really believed in good luck very much (although he did attribute his running into Els primarily as luck—he just hadn’t decided whether it was good or not yet. Far be it from him to pass up the immediate reward of seeing Els, but the consequences were still up in the air), so bad luck card it was. The card in question was a ten of spades, with distinct fold marks and a stain of dubious origin on the front, ragged around the edges; only 1/52 of a present, technically, and only a good 1/52 if M’kai was blind.

A’emi absolutely knew it wasn’t a typical present, but he didn’t believe in typical presents anyway.

He tucked the card into the breast pocket of M’kai’s flight jacket, splaying his fingers out a minute too long over the bluerider’s chest before he drew away, hands sliding back into his pockets again casually. “My bad luck’s your good luck, right? Consider it an advantage once I can get ahold of a chess board.”

[Ruby]

M'kai made a face when A'emi spouted some nonsense. Typical A'emi. As much as that sort of shit annoyed M'kai, though, he couldn't quite help that the face he made was somewhat more amused than it was annoyed. "Poetry again? I thought you'd be over that by now." The question was rhetorical of course, A'emi and obscure lines went hand in hand. It was good to see A'emi again though, poetry and all, although that could be just because he was someone that wasn't one of the handful of exiles that escaped Selenitas. Being cooped up with the same 20 or so people got really old really quick.

Hands still in his pockets, M'kai slouched off after A'emi, although once he'd cleared his doorway he took a couple long strides so he was walking next to the Greenrider. Half listening, half paying attention to A'emi, M'kai nodded and made general noises where appropriate. 'Bitra' got a look - so that's where they'd been, at least in part - but otherwise, M'kai wasn't that engaged (although 'prettiest of the prostitutes' got a flash of irritation)...

So the brush against his chest stopped M'kai short, making him stutter step. Reaching in to his pocket, he pulled the card back out, unfolding it to glance down at the well-worn face. "Pretty sure that was always the other way around, your good luck, my bad luck. I guess it all works out in the end?" he asked, then tucked the card back into his pocket. Looking back up at A'emi, M'kai raised an eyebrow, about to say something else clever. Usually he was so slick, always ready with some quip, but as usual something about A'emi made M'kai totally unable to function normally.

The silence stretched on for a moment while M'kai fumbled for words, looking for some way to say thank you or show his appreciation or... something. Anything. Instead, he finally spit out a slightly whiny "Where have you been?"

[Avu]

“Inverse relationship,” A’emi nodded, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “Goes both ways.” He was fairly sure there was something symbolic about handing M’kai his bad luck card, but for the life of him he couldn’t actually bring himself to analyze it. Or really care—the card wasn’t something he frequently thought about anymore anyway; a year of carrying it around in his pocket had turned it into more of an automatic presence. He was sensing a definite lack of gratitude here, though, likely because there was actually no good way to thank somebody genuinely for handing them a folded-up ten of spades and seem enthusiastic without lying, but still. Details.

Still, M’kai seemed like he was about to say something, so A’emi waited. What he actually got was not exactly what he was expecting, A’emi blinking at M’kai in consternation for a moment before he huffed in dry amusement, companionably bumping his shoulder against M’kai’s. “Watch out, if you ask another question like that I’m gonna start thinking you missed me,” he said lightly, trying to organize assorted hobo adventures into something mildly interesting and sensible. Unfortunately he ran out of filler words before he finished thinking, and restarted after a significantly dramatic pause, “Around?

“I mean,” he added, because ‘around’ was possibly the least helpful thing that he could say, probably, “I followed a Northern caravan for a while, so there was that. And after Bitra, I went home. Nabol, I mean.” A’emi still wasn’t exactly sure why he’d gone there—the same way he wasn’t sure why he’d come back South, but he suspected it had something to do with wanting to see if his parents were still around and kicking. Not that he’d found out either way; inquiring after them would’ve been too blatantly suspicious and he didn’t expect they’d still recognize him. “Stayed with this Miner and his family for a year off and on, they’ll probably think that I died trying to get laid at the Hold Proper, come to think of it.”

He tilted his head sideways to glance at M’kai, mouth flicking up at the corners. “So that’s my life. How’s being a hobo Candidatemaster? Thrilling, exciting, enlightening?” He paused, smile turning cheeky. “Scandalous and risqué as all hobo occupations should be?”

[Ruby]

The card was still in his hand, and M'kai considered it a moment longer before deciding to leave it there. Ten of spades. Rubbing a thumb along one tattered edge, the Bluerider found a spot that seemed to fit his thumb just about right. Maybe A'emi had had the same nervous twitch, or the owner before him. Somehow, the idea of A'emi nervous made M'kai more comfortable. Inverse relationship indeed.

That comfort made it possible for him to snort at A'emi's assertion that M'kai might have missed him, rather than splutter out some nonsense. He left it at the snort, though, allowing A'emi his drama. "I didn't know you were from Nabol," he commented vaguely once the greenrider started his story - he didn't, after all. A'emi was permanently Fort in M'kai's mind, so he'd assumed that A'emi was born and raised at the Weyr, just like him and Cr'oph. He just seemed so weyrbred. The comment about getting laid at the Hold proved M'kai's point pretty perfectly. "Bet everyone involved enjoyed that. From what I've heard the Holders all have sticks up their asses, and not in a good way." Not that he'd spent much time at holds, but whatever.

As they strolled past the one of the many waterfalls bubbling throughout the weyr - this one was from whatever vein of hot water ran through the mountain, it seemed, as it was damp and steamy nearby - A'emi turned the conversation back on M'kai. "Hobo... I guess we are kind of hobos." Generally, his first thought would have been of Isori, but with A'emi around again M'kai was reminded strongly, and painfully, of Reina and Bomb. "Alright, I suppose. I lost Reina and Bomb in the escape, so that was hard." He gave his old pets a moment of silence, then tried to figure out what else A'emi might want to know.

"Enlightening not so much, and I'm hardly a Candidatemaster anymore, we've only got two left Not that it matters. There's some sort of new semi-intelligent bird around, we're calling 'em Razorclaws cause shards are they sharp. I ended up with a female, predictably, so I get to play mama bird once a turn or so. Also some monster that ate Meira." Futh and Jingth had been classmates, so M'kai had been aware of Meira, but she always had too much attention for Brownriders and Bronzeriders, in M'kai's opinion. Needless to say he hadn't known her well. "So we're all kind of fucked. I hear Elysia hatched some scheme to bring Selenitas' new gold over, but she got turned down." M'kai was fine with that too, Elysia needed to be turned down a bit more often. "Risque, somewhat, scandalous... yeah probably. I've been sleeping with a Candidate in your absence. Well, she's not a Candidate anymore, and I guess we don't sleep together anymore, but there was that. It was dramatic." Momentarily lost for conversation, M'kai went back to rubbing the card's edge, then left off to push his long hair off his neck. That sharding hot spring waterfall thing was making it unnecessarily humid in here.

[Avu]

“It’s not something I advertise,” A’emi answered, equally vague, if deliberately so. Not that Nabol had ever been a bad place for him, but it was still weird thinking about it as home. Although he supposed after the past year, it was as much a home as Selenitas had been; he’d been both places for the same stretch of time. He left it at that, opting to blink in faux innocence at M’kai, “Ohh, is there a good way now?” True enough, though. Nabol had never been a really nice place and hitting on people was, no pun intended, essentially hit or miss, especially if it was just a one night’s stand. Most Holders did not approve of their daughters, most of whom were married stupidly young, getting seduced for all of a few hours.

He hadn’t even tried getting any guys.

He was pretty sure black eyes were not any more fun in Nabol than anywhere else.

A’emi made a subdued sympathetic noise at the mention of Bomb and Reina—he actually hadn’t thought of them at all, but he was belatedly grateful for Darkling’s absence. M’kai was probably more than adequately functioning by now, but it was still a metaphorical slap in the face that they didn’t need right now. He stayed quiet as M’kai continued, kicking a rock a few steps ahead of him in an absent-minded half-shuffling pace, interjecting, “I’ve met your bird thing before, at the Gather? I forgot her name though, I remember I liked it?” The name, not the Razorclaw; he couldn’t remember how he felt about the Razorclaw except bemused.

“Monster that ate your goldrider,” he echoed, blankly for a moment before he said, “Faranth, no wonder you’re screwed, is that what that chick was talking about?” She’d been awfully unhelpful about that, not to mention she’d been incredibly unconcerned about the fact that there was a literal monster hanging out in dark corners. A’emi had figured she was joking. What was wrong with people?

He almost commented on Els—knowing Elysia, she’d eventually get exactly what she wanted—but the words were stifled by a startled but genuine laugh. “I’m glad you specified in my absence,” A’emi responded, eventually, glancing sideways at M’kai in amusement. “Your complete disregard for the power dynamics and absolute metaphorical as well as literal fuckery in that relationship is impressive. What, she Impressed?” He stepped on the rock to stop it from bouncing sideways, using the side of his foot to lob it sideways towards the waterfall, and speaking of, “What’s with these things?”

[Ruby]

"I hear some people like it," M'kai drawled with a significant look at A'emi. Generally things in people's asses wasn't something M'kai would be comfortable joking about, but apparently he was reverting automatically to exactly how comfortable he was around A'emi just before Wasteland invaded; that being quite a bit more comfortable than he was with any other man that might want to sleep with him. That made it easier to crush the flash of pain that came with Reina and Bomb's names, which was nice. Comfortable as he was, he didn't really want to have a breakdown in front of A'emi, mainly because it might encourage A'emi to touch him. None of that please.

"The bird is Kami, which I believed you said sounded like our love child, which I totally deny. She kind of... sounds like she's saying Kami, sometimes." He shrugged, then went on, "And yes, monster that ate our goldrider. It's been a while now, and it hasn't come back, and we've sealed off the library where they came from. So I guess there's not much to worry about for now, although, yeah. Screwed, cause we have no gold and no way to go back to Selenitas, so I guess we're gonna have fun here until we all die off, or Selenitas finally figures out where we are and do whatever they're going to do to us." Well, it sounded grim when you put it like that, but there it was.

The next thing A'emi said, though... M'kai could have grumped and grumbled and been offended. Two turns ago he would have. Two turns ago, just A'emi pointing out M'kai's verbal slip would be enough to send the Bluerider into a dark mood. Tonight, though... tonight it just made M'kai laugh, and then the sudden change of subject to the waterfalls made him totally lose it. Maybe it was lack of sleep, or hysteria, or stress, maybe it was relief at seeing just one single Selenitan alive again, maybe M'kai had just grown up a little. Whatever it was, the Bluerider started out chuckling, but couldn't keep himself in check; pretty soon he was laughing hysterically, to the point where he actually sat down on a rock at the base of the miniature falls to wipe something like moisture away from his eyes. It had been so long since he laughed like that.

Whether A'emi laughed along or not was none of M'kai's concern. Eventually he shook his head, got himself under control, and looked over towards the greenrider. "She impressed. Green, go figure. And who knows, with the waterfalls. It's an old place."

[Avu]

Well look who’d gotten all comfortable. A’emi refrained from asking Is that an offer?, if only because he wasn’t quite sure if he wanted it to be or not. He did not, however, feel it was necessary to refrain from meeting M’kai’s pointed look with a lascivious grin, licking his lips in mock seduction at him. The effect was more or less ruined by the amused snort that followed it. “Right, Kami,” he repeated, reacquainting himself with the name. “I stand by my earlier opinion.” He could totally see it. Kami—how nice. They were parents. (Grandparents? How fast did these bird-things mature?) He made no response to the morbidly depressing summation of Burimyu’s status, unable to add to the overdose of pathetic in any way or disagree with it, which was, in itself, fairly sad.

M’kai’s laughter startled him, surprised a blink and then a genuinely pleased smile out of the greenrider, and eventually a half-bewildered chuckle as he followed M’kai over to his rock. His abrupt sitting made A’emi pause for a second before he squatted in front of M’kai, one knee braced against the ground, and folded his arms absently over his thighs, tilting his head to look up at M’kai. (It was weird looking down at M’kai—even in the vague half-memories he had, he was more used to looking up, or at least eye level or something.)

“Go figure?” he echoed, raising an eyebrow. “Should I be taking offense here? I didn’t know you were capable of laughing like that,” he added, mouth quirking into a slanted, amused grin. The waterfalls were disregarded—he didn’t actually really expect an answer about those anyway, figured they were best accepted like most weird nature things were. Besides, unless you planned on drowning yourself in one of them because of the general chances of survival around Burimyu being pretty much nonexistent in the long run, their presence wasn’t terribly important, all things considered.

A’emi pressed one hand against the ground to steady himself, and then, with an unrepentantly flirtatious smile, “Are we taking a break? Are you getting old? Your stamina seems to be suffering without me, M’kai.”