and i'm on my way to believing [t'san]

[Avu]

Mm.

Waking up slowly made a nice change, given how abruptly she was used to waking up. It was nice waking up warm, too, even if the warmth was fairly close to overheating. Meira hummed sleepily, still mostly out of it, and then something clicked as being not quite…right. As soon as that little flicker of half-doubt made itself known, everything else fell into place, and her heartbeat responded accordingly to the fuzzy uncoordinated panic. The all-too-familiar nervousness relaxed slightly as the more important facts made themselves known – it wasn’t a stranger; Jingth had Chosen Dsoleth which made the very warm, entirely too comfortable body draped on top of her T’san.

She chanced opening her eyes, blinking in the dim light filtering through from the weyrledge. The flash of gold and brown hide she caught sight of had to be Jingth and Dsoleth, and she could feel the queen’s smug pleasure at the outcome of her Flight pulse through their bond, warm and familiar. At any other time, Meira might’ve spared a moment to congratulate Jingth or at least acknowledge the gold. Right now, she was a little more concerned with the fact that she had an armful (literally – she had her arms wrapped around T’san’s back loosely) of sleeping human.

Tipping her chin slightly downwards meant pressing her jaw against his hair and arching her neck uncomfortably, and she couldn’t see whether or not T’san was awake from her position. It might’ve also had something to do with the fact that his face was more or less tucked against her shoulder and neck, which made trying to check decidedly awkward. Meira exhaled, dropping her head back into the pillow. Honestly, she couldn’t complain about Jingth’s choice – she was fairly certain she’d liked T’san (at least a little) before Jingth had thought of Dsoleth as more than passing entertainment.

Tentatively, she raised one hand, settled it at the nape of the brownrider’s neck, lightly – the fact that she was entirely too warm didn’t particularly matter at the moment. If he had to sleep, she didn’t want to wake him up early…and it wasn’t (and even the thought made her flush; fortunately there was nobody awake to see) as if she was uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, if anything.

Good afternoon, Jingth offered, entirely too cheerful and awake from her current position – the gold was literally sprawled on top of Dsoleth, careful not to pin down his wings, her head draped across the brown’s back. The glow that announced pre-Flight was gone, of course, but didn’t they make such a lovely couple anyways? You woke quicker than I thought you would. the gold went on, and there was a flicker of disappointment. You should go back to sleep. That’s what /I/ want to do.

[Ember]

It was small wonder Meira was feeling a little too hot. T'san naturally clung to warm things in his sleep (heck sometimes he did it when he was awake). He had one arm draped over Meira's waist, the other buried under her upper body. His light breathing was a fairly good sign that he was still asleep. That fact changed quickly enough though. He wasn't the world's deepest sleeper and he'd been on his way to waking up anyways. A light touch on his neck was the first thing he noticed. The second being...oh hello warm body. Somewhat unexpected but not something to freak out over. He could just go back to sleep....

Dsoleth's sleepy amusement wormed its way through their bond and the brownrider blinked his eyes a couple of time. Nn. Well that view wasn't exactly helpful. He closed his eyes again and gave himself a moment to remember. A flight having occured was a no brainer. Whose flight would make Dsoleth feel so amused and...smug? Mm yup. The brown was definitely smug. So that meant that he knew the female as a friend at the very least and...shards but it was Jingth! Bingo, the dragon practically sing-songed. The brown only had to wait a moment more for the rest to click.

T'san's eyes opened again as he realized the warm body he was using as a hug pillow was in fact Meira. Well that explained the unreasonable foginess of his mind. Gold flights were a bit worse than green flights, after all. They pulled more strongly than green's did. One way or another, he wasn't about to complain about the results that time. A non-mopey brown and a Meira in his arms was actually quite pleasant. An overly smug dragon, however.... Way to go, Dsoleth. Do make sure your head remains small enough you can actually fly with it, T'san said by way of congratulations. The brown was going to be a daddy. Yay.

Once he was awake enough to actually process things the brownrider found himself facing the fact that he couldn't pretend to be asleep forever. Rather than let go he exhaled a little harder than he had been and snuggled closer, arms tightening slightly. T'san muttered into her neck, "You're warm." Given how shy she was the brownrider took mercy on her and removed his one arm from her waist. He'd have preferred to keep holding her but he much preferred not to upset her too much. He already anticipated a bit of pain caused by any awkwardness. Ah well, couldn't be any worse than the Elysia Incident.

Meanwhile, Dsoleth was making quite a wonderful couch for his golden lady. He was quite content to cuddle and share body heat and just be near Jingth however she wanted to do it. His eyes were half lidded and he was in a content - and smug - state. There was a big difference between hoping for an outcome and actually achieving it. Very few browns got to sire a clutch and certainly none of them got to do so with a gold as great as Jingth. He brushed her mind pleasantly. He'd have liked to lick or nuzzle her but he couldn't reach her properly.

[Avu]

She might’ve just taken Jingth’s advice and gone back to sleep – or tried to, anyway; now that she was aware of exactly who was sharing her furs, Meira was a little less certain about her ability to just fall asleep again. As it was, she absently combed her fingers through T’san’s hair, closing her eyes less because she wanted to sleep and more because staring at the ceiling wasn’t getting her anywhere near relaxed. Not that she had long regardless, judging by the little changes in her personal space heater that probably meant he was waking up. Meira made a low sound in the back of her throat, somewhere between dismay and apprehension; sleeping was safe. Waking was…not.

It didn’t appear as if T’san planned on getting up, though, if his pulling her even closer was anything to go by. Startled, Meira blinked her eyes open, her hand ceasing the idle stroking through T’san’s hair, and curling around the back of his neck instead. And – his words tickled, the goldrider’s shoulder pulling upwards in involuntary response to the sensation of breath across her neck. “Mm,” she hummed, not quite ready to be articulate yet, turned her head in another futile attempt to look down at T’san’s face – not being able to was a little upsetting, especially given that he’d pulled his arm off of her; was he going to leave…?

“You’re awake,” she mumbled after a moment. “Why’re you awake?” Things were much more comfortable when he’d been asleep. At least, when T’san had been asleep, she wasn’t afraid he was about to get up and leave. And probably never come back again. Not that sleeping with someone because of Flightlust was unusual in a Weyr, but it was still…awkward. Maybe a stranger would’ve been better. At least it wouldn’t mess anything up. This was…different, and Meira had absolutely no idea what to say – or do, for that matter. Jingth apparently didn’t think Rising made any change whatsoever. Just went to show how much help she was going to get from a dragon.

Since we’re all pointing out the obvious, Jingth was commenting cheerfully to Dsoleth, apparently opting to ignore her Rider’s nervousness for the moment, You’re very comfortable, but I’m hungry. Let’s go down to the Feeding Pens? Blooding is lovely for short-term but actual sustenance would be much nicer, don’t you think? Her tongue flicked out lightly to touch Dsoleth’s shoulder before the gold climbed off of the brown, shaking out her wings. They hurt a little, but it wasn’t bad at all – she was more than capable of coping. Unless you think Ours need watching?

[Ember]

The hand in his hair was nice. Better than nice really. T'san loved it when people played with his hair, even in the loosest sense of the word. He didn't bother wondering why Meira was running her fingers through his hair. Did the reason matter? Nope. Just as long as she kept doing it. Oh, but she stopped and the man literally pouted. Well he still got to hold her for a moment longer so it balanced out he supposed. He got a surprise when she didn't move when he took his arm off her. He might have taken it as invitation to hold her again if not for her words.

"Mmhmmmm," he agreed slowly. What she said was just so odd that T'san was forced to pull back from her neck to look at her face. He found himself unable to make proper eye contact though so his eyes flitted away from hers to settle over her shoulder, occasionally flicking back to her face. "I'm awake because I'm aliiiiive?" Probably not the answer Meira wanted to hear but T'san wasn't even sure what she did want to hear. "Is awake bad? I could go back to sleep y'know." Given Meira still hadn't escaped the brownrider's mouth quirked into a grin and he put his arm over her again.

She was asking for it by not moving, as far as the brownrider was concerned. He felt he ought to say more but the lack of fleeing had him oddly contented. He was comfy, warm, and still kind of sleepy. Given the chance he may well have fallen asleep again if he wasn't worried that she'd be gone the next time he woke up. It was best to make sure things were okay before either of them left than to leave with any awkwardness...er well, too much awkwardness. Some was to be expected.

Dsoleth huffed in amused agreement at Jingth's observation. Obvious indeed. Yes, I agree. Blood is just not filling. As the gold got off him he stood and tentatively stretched his wings to loosen the ache. He could fly but he certainly wouldn't be too graceful (not that he ever really was). I think they'll be fine, he said with wry amusement, without us for a little bit. Well then, after you? The brown appreciated Jingth's ledge all over again. It really was quite large. Much better than the squishing that would have to be done on his own ledge.

[Avu]

The transition from warm, sleepy contentedness to fully awake awkwardness took only as long as it did for T’san to look up at her. Blood rose to her cheeks, and the fact that he wouldn’t look directly at her made it even worse. Of course, it wasn’t as if she could quite bring herself to look T’san in the eyes either, but Meira was fairly certain that was for an entirely different reason – instead, she ended up just watching his face, never focusing on any part for much longer than half a second. Her hand had slid from the back of his neck onto the pillow when he raised his head, fingers curled loosely. Meira managed a faint half-smile at his response, though, amused he’d answered at all. It wasn’t like her question had made very much sense.

“No,” was more or less the only thing she could think of to say in response to his question, given the definite fade in anxiety that resulted from the brownrider’s arm settling across her waist again. It was stupid and more than a little self-destructive, wanting to keep this as long as possible, and probably the worst part of it was that Meira knew it was. Eventually, T’san would get up (or she would have to, in order to make it to her shift at the Infirmary or pick up Riaren and Monster and Mimic or something) and things would go back to the way they’d been before – if not worse because of the Flight.

And that would just suck in general. Not that she could begrudge Jingth her choice in Flight, but still. She could still be upset at the invasion of awkward. That was definitely well within her rights.

“I don’t…really know what I’m supposed to be doing,” Meira admitted slowly after a moment, gaze flicking up to T’san momentarily, hopefully. Surely Dsoleth had Chased before…“I mean,” she wet her lips, trying to figure out how to phrase it so that it’d at least come close to some semblance of sense, “Is that just…it?” One night (or day – Jingth had said ‘afternoon’), over, done? She wasn’t even sure what answer would make her feel better – if any would at all.

Jingth crooned, the gold clearly in a good mood, and slid off her ‘ledge again, coiling in a tight corkscrew to give Dsoleth time to take off before she dipped one wing, turning in the direction of the Feeding Pens. She bowled over the first herdbeast neatly, the force of her landing snapping its spine, and coiled around it, purring contentment as she looked up at Dsoleth, commenting idly, You would think they would run faster from dragons by now. Not that I’m complaining, of course. Her words ended with one claw neatly gutting the herdbeast, the gold rolling the herdbeast to get at the underbelly.

[Ember]

T'san found it interesting that Meira couldn't seem to meet his eyes either. Whenever they came too close he flicked his eyes away but invariably they wandered back, whether out of curiosity or a simple desire to look at her was unclear even to him. The brownrider wasn't surprised by the blush. Ultimately they were still lying in a bed naked. That was something blush worthy. The half smile had him smiling in response though. Well there, that was the first one he'd seen. That was a good sign in his mind. It made seeming like he wasn't nervous considerably easier.

The brownrider was still largely at a loss of words when Meira spoke again. Didn't know what to do.... Come to think of it, it was Jingth's first flight. There was a brief flash of worry until he remembered about Riaren. So it wasn't Meira's first time but a first flight could still be confusing, regardless of who you woke up with. The atmosphere was vaguely similar to...to his first post-flight wake up with his ex-weyrmate...yeah okay it was safer not to think like that. He didn't need the false hope that Meira was comfortable as they were for the same reason he was.

T'san hummed thoughtfully and wondered how to answer her question. "Well, normally it is? Most weyrfolk just see it as a part of life. 'Oh, good morning. Have a nice day' kinda thing," he said with wry amusement. The brownrider knew well enough what happened after flights. His earlier thoughts still nagged at the back of his mind and he tried to ignore them to no avail. T'san burried his head in her neck again. Didn't want to leave. Almost rebeliously he muttered, "Right about now most people get dressed." Because she wanted to know. Because he knew he couldn't keep her there.

Dsoleth shook himself out after Jingth launched before leaping into the air himself. It wasn't quite as bad as he expected. The brown followed the gold to the herdbeasts and practically landed on one, breaking it's back and a couple legs. Perhaps they know it would make no difference, the brown said. They could hardly outrun an airborne beast so why bother trying in earnest? The brown ripped meat off his kill's flank in relish. Meat was yummy to the brown and he was very hungry.

[Avu]

“Oh,” and the word was softer than an exhale, almost entirely silent. So…this wasn’t normal, whatever they were doing, whatever this was, and T’san knew that, and was…was he okay with it? Or just being indulgent or something? Waiting for her to get up first? Because Meira didn’t want to. She didn’t, despite how nervous she was. It was nice. And it was her weyr, so even if T’san had wanted to leave, it wouldn’t seem so odd that she might prefer to stay in the bed for a while longer, would it? She swallowed, aware she was mentally grasping at straws, looking for some kind of justification where it probably didn’t exist.

And –

Her thoughts stuttered in time with her heartbeat when he buried his face against her neck again, and then sped up in response to the proximity. Given T’san’s position, it was probably nothing he couldn’t feel. Meira resisted the urge to squirm, her hand rising to touch the back of T’san’s neck lightly again, fingertips brushing the shorter hairs at the nape of his neck. It would be so easy just to tilt her head slightly, press her lips against his forehead, and she wanted to. So it was only logical that Meira distract herself by speaking, voice feeling a little strange due to the pressure on her neck.

“Are we…not going to?” She was still leaving it up to him, even though she knew she ought to get up, leave, because drawing this out…it was nice while it lasted, of course, but it was going to make it harder later. Meira did squirm a little at that thought, but it was more of a brief shift than anything else before she more or less gave up, her fingers threading loosely through T’san’s hair again. Her other arm slid beneath the pillow, under her head. It was safe there.

Mm. The agreement was mental as well as a verbal hum low in the gold’s chest as she nosed through spilled organs, lapping at the blood and tugging off strips of meat. Usually she was much neater when it came to eating, but she was hungry – hadn’t eaten for days preceding her Flight, and the quick energy blood provided was entirely gone. A rib splintered between her teeth, tongue rasping at the marrow before she moved back to the herdbeast’s stomach. When the hatchlings come, she commented, apropos of nothing, muzzle streaked with fresh and drying blood, They’ll be the best. Better than Millieth’s, better than Hepaticath’s. Ours.

[Ember]

Amazing how much calmer he felt when he was not only not looking at her face but also buried in her neck. Judging by the more rapid than usual heartbeat it mad Meira a little...self-concsious? Nervous? Something. She didn't protest though. Instead her hand returned to his neck and he shifted ever so slightly so that her hand put a bit more pressure on his neck. It was much like how feline might arch its back into a rub. He wished she'd play with his hair again but he couldn't be too picky given the circumstances.

Or could he? It was a good question. Their wake up was slowly becoming more and more unusual. T'san's mind was slowly shifting into puzzle mode. He liked to figure things out and understanding why neither of them seemed inclined to leave the bed was slowly becoming pretty high on his list of things to figure out. Or rather, why Meira seemed perfectly fine staying in bed. Granted it was her bed and if anyone should leave it ought to be him. He was almost too distracted to hear her question. Almost. He hummed in response at first. His choice?

He was thoroughly distracted by the hand in his hair though. He savoured the feeling before speaking. "Meira?" The question could have meant just about anything. T'san knew that, knew that if he didn't ask what was actually on his mind he wouldn't get an answer. Didn't really change the fact that he didn't necessarily want an answer. He was tempted to look at her face when he asked but if he did that he risked not being able to ask at all. "Do you want to stay here? Like this?" The question was quiet but not as quiet as what he said next. "I do."

Dsoleth, rather than spill the herdbeast's innards, worked from one side of it and down into it. He easily snapped ribs to get to the bloody guts. It was too troublesome to eat innards once they were all over the place. Despite his hunger he forced himself to have some restraint. The knowledge that he would be full soon enough helped. Jingth speaking to him also helped, especially given the topic. It was still a bit hard to grasp the fact that he would have children. He let out a low, muffled croon at the 'ours.' Of course, he agreed readily enough. Better than Fort's or Benden's too.

[Avu]

She really, really needed to figure out a surefire way of keeping her heartbeat under control. It wasn’t exactly out of control, but it was still at a fairly unacceptable rate given that someone else could feel just how fast it was going. At least T’san couldn’t also see the blush that also seriously needed to be a conscious decision instead of a subconscious one. Her name being spoken as a question would’ve made her freeze if she hadn’t already been mostly still. As it was, Meira’s hand stopped the absentminded motion, fingers still curled loosely through T’san’s hair and a knot of something fairly close to panic curled in the pit of her stomach again.

His tone hadn’t given anything away, and she automatically assumed that meant it would be bad, whatever ‘it’ was. Like…getting up. Or laughing or something and – his question took her entirely by surprise. For a minute, Meira thought she’d heard wrong, but given that she’d been expecting the worst, that didn’t seem likely. She barely caught the next words, soft enough to tickle against her neck. The goldrider stared at the ceiling, stunned, not sure she could make her voice behave. But the hand that had been under her head slid downwards to T’san’s, touching his palm tentatively.

“Yeah.” Meira whispered the word into his hair, barely managed to keep her voice from cracking. Yes. The repetition came a little easier (because this was actually happening), a little more confident, even if it was just in her mind. And then, invariably, came the uncertainty, the fear that maybe she’d somehow managed to misinterpret T’san’s words to what she wanted them to be. She didn’t have the first idea how she might’ve misinterpreted it, but she was sure there was some way. Closing her eyes, Meira swallowed, aware T’san would be able to feel the nervous gesture, unable to stop it. “Did you mean just…just now, or…after, too?”

Definitely. The gold’s reply came with a crooning purr, eyes awash with shades of blue and green. She stripped off another length of flesh from the carcass pinned beneath her claws, threw back her head to chew, humming in pleasure. Far from full, but the one herdbeast was a start. And after such a Flight, surely she’d earned the right to gorge? Her usual light eating habits need not apply today…No such thing as a Weyrthird, of course, but…I don’t suppose you’ll be promoted to Wingleader or second after this?

[Ember]

T’san was fairly concerned by the sudden lack of movement from Meira. Perhaps he shouldn’t have said what was on his mind after all. Friendship was better than nothing and he was afraid he’d end up with the latter. He listened to her heartbeat in hopes it would keep him calm-ish until she answered. He wasn’t used to the borderline panic feeling. Thankfully it didn’t last very long when she touched his hand. He was a little afraid to trust his judgement alone but the quiet agreement from Meira had him shift his hand slightly so that he could close his hand around hers.

The brownrider was perfectly content for the first time since he’d left Fort. He hadn’t exactly been feeling unhappy but the lack of anyone close to him had been causing him to feel a bit lonely on occasion. That he could share even just the little bit that he had with Meira and have her reciprocate…that was the source of his current high spirits. The fact that she’d gotten so upset by Elysia made a lot more sense. He was slightly amused to think she might have been jealous of the greenrider…or perhaps just upset that he might have been taken? Well whichever one still made him feel happy.

The morning, however, was full of ups and downs in his mood apparently. Meira’s swallow earned a surprised blink from T’san though he didn’t take it as warning for the words that came next. Her question made him feel dismayed. When she agreed had she meant just for that day? That was liable to kill him if she’d mistaken his question and didn’t want to act like they were after that day. His tone was hopeful when he said, “After too. If she didn’t want to he’d be out of her weyr fairly quickly. He wouldn’t taunt himself with something he couldn’t have.

Dsoleth’s tail tip flicked back and forth in pleasure derived from the food as well as the mutual boasting of their future clutch. The brown tore more of the tasty meat from his herdbeast and chewed on it thoughtfully for a moment. I do not think so, he responded lightly, at least not right away. That is based on the skill of both myself and Mine. While neither of us are unskilled it is only fair to give the opportunity to others sometimes as well. The brown acknowledged that there were others with strengths he didn’t have that might make them more suitable and in truth he didn’t really mind. He was not an ambitious dragon.

[Avu]

If she didn’t actually know the symptoms of it, Meira was fairly certain she would’ve thought she was in shock. At the moment, her heartbeat was fairly rapid, but she mostly felt…disconnected because this could not possibly be actually happening. There was absolutely no way and…and…it was. The hand in T’san’s hair slid down, splaying across his back lightly, and Meira closed her eyes again, tilting her head to press her lips against the brownrider’s hair, too light to be a real kiss. It was embarrassing that he could almost definitely feel how quickly her heart was beating, but she didn’t care at the moment – she was far too…she didn’t even know. ‘Excited’ didn’t really seem to fit. Just…happy. Relieved.

“Okay,” and the word was barely an exhale, mouthed against his hair lightly. “Okay.” This time the repetition came out loud, accompanied by a light squeeze to his hand. For a moment, it was perfect, the silence, the feeling of everything finally, finally fitting together, Jingth’s first Flight over and T’san here, with her, more than just friends, even if they hadn’t exactly defined what this was, what they were, the knowledge that Riaren was okay and that Mimic was happy. Of course, once it was over, whenever they got up (because they still had to, though the promise that it wouldn’t be the end took some of the dread away), things wouldn’t be perfect.

Things never were.

Mimic and Riaren both complicated things – for different reasons, of course, but still…no. Meira stopped the line of thought before it got far. This, right now, was what mattered for the moment. Neither Mimic nor Riaren was here, but T’san was. She nuzzled slightly into his hair, sighed in quiet contentment, and then muttered, “If we don’t move, ‘m gonna fall asleep again…” Which might not be a bad thing at all, not when she was still warm and very much comfortable. No doubt Riaren would be happy to spend a little longer with his hero-worshipped father, Monster with Empress, and Mimic with Lilitu – or Doppelganger, or both. But – “Mm. Infirmary. Time’s it…?”

Jingth rolled Dsoleth’s words over in her mind briefly, still eating, though the rate at which she chewed and swallowed slowed considerably now that the edge was taken off of her hunger. Modest, her brown. She liked that (it was better than arrogance – only she was allowed to be vain, clearly). But still. There was a such thing as being too humble. Do you, she asked, direct and quiet, /want/ to be a Wingsecond? Or does Yours? I’m sure it can be arranged if that’s necessary. She did take care of her pets, Jingth did. Manipulate them, too, sometimes – if Dsoleth wanted it, she’d go to Kierjaarth and ask him if there was anything His could do. And thank him, of course.