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Post by absinthe on Nov 1, 2009 23:04:59 GMT -5
The smell of leather and hay mingled in the still, quiet air of the stable where Junaes was brushing a bay mare in long, languid strokes. The air was decidedly relaxed, the animal standing comfortably hipshot with her eyes closed obviously enjoying the grooming. When he wasn’t exploring and nosing about this was often where the candidate chose to spend his free time. It was usually quiet, peaceful, and he could feign being busy while giving himself time to think on things. Plus, it was familiar. He’d been at the Weyr now for a couple of sevendays and while he’d done some intense exploring during that time (in between lessons and chores of course) it still didn’t feel like home to him. He hadn’t anticipated the feeling of extreme homesickness that had overcome him upon arrival at the Weyr. Although to be fair, much of the homesickness was lingering grief over the death of his father earlier in the Turn. Even Hyphen Hold wasn’t really home anymore without his parents and that had been the deciding factor in coming to Selenitas in the first place. It just hadn’t quite been what he’d expected. Most of the chores he was given were light duty compared to the work he was used to and while he looked forward to the candidate lessons in which his brain became a sponge, absorbing every word about dragons, Impression, and everything else, he often finished any assignments given relatively quickly. This left him with a little more spare time than most of his fellow candidates.
When he didn’t ask for extra chores or assignments to keep him busy, Junaes took it upon himself to come to the stable and groom the runners there. It was the place most like home in all the Weyr, and he could close his eyes and take himself back a few Turns. He was a boy still, his mother inside working on her weaving and his father mending nets. That is, until a dragon’s bugle tore the daydream asunder. Smiling, Junaes almost shook his head at himself. Daydreaming didn’t solve anything but it was nice to get away for a few minutes. He would adjust, he just needed time. The Weyr was a very interesting place, and so he was often kept well occupied. A dull thump and an impatient whinny disrupted his thoughts once again, and Junaes turned to look over his shoulder at the gray stallion across the way and one stall down. “Yes, yes. Don’t be so impatient.” Giving the bay a few more strokes of the brush, the candidate then offered the animal a scratch on the forehead before exiting the stall and bringing the brush with him.
The gray saw him coming and tossed his head before lowering his nose to give Junaes a shove and a snort in an attempt to hurry him up. Chuckling at the impatient beast, the candidate entered the stall and began the grooming process all over again. Needless to say he’d become quite familiar with all the animals who called this stable home, and they with him. Despite their varied personalities they were usually well-behaved for the most part, which was a good thing. Junaes wasn’t any kind of expert on runners; he knew the basics, how to groom, feed, water, and muck their stalls. He knew that, being prey animals, loud noises and quick movements startled and distressed them which was fine since he was naturally a quiet person anyway. Content for now, he went about the task of grooming the demanding beast in silence, not expecting anyone else to come into the stable.
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Post by dragon on Nov 2, 2009 0:08:41 GMT -5
It had been an interesting walk, all over the Weyr. Partly because what he was looking for seemed so terribly elusive, and partly because - simply put - it had been a long time since he'd bothered to get out and actually wander around the Weyr. Emoyan had been to the kitchens ... a usual haunt for most young lads ... as well as all the other places that he'd been told to try to find Junaes in. From one place, another question, to another, he'd gradually caught up to the lad in his current hiding place, though it'd taken him several more candlemarks than he'd anticipated. And he'd only just now caught up!
Emoyan wandered into the stables, hands in pockets with a casual stroll. Runners had never really been a thing for him, but he was comfortable enough with them to feel halfway confident in the saddle. Not that he'd ridden much since impressing ... or losing ... his dragon. More than likely he was too rusty to even try to ride one. He looked around a bit, as he strolled through the stables, pausing at one point to stand a knocked-over pail up with his boot. A few more stalls down, and he found his prey.
Emoyan never bothered to take his hands out of his pockets when he leaned a shoulder on the frame of the gateway, watching for a moment as Junaes groomed the stud. "Hello." He said, simply, unwilling to launch straight away into why he'd bothered to hunt Junaes down ... or that he even had done just that. "You're doing a good job. He looks happy."
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Post by absinthe on Nov 2, 2009 0:51:38 GMT -5
Obviously, Junaes had no idea that the Candidate Master was hunting him down, or maybe he wouldn’t have chosen someplace so… reclusive. But as it were, he was quite content grooming His Lordship (as he’d taken to calling the stallion who obviously thought quite highly of himself). He had brushed the animal from neck to rump, combed out the runner’s mane and tail to ensure that not a tangle or snag remained in either. Depending on the time when he finished, the candidate may or may not muck the stalls. Since, you know, he was out there anyway. He might as well, right? It didn’t take very long and it wasn’t that hard. Then again after working several Turns on a fishing vessel, then being put to work in the mine, it was quite likely that there were very few other things that he would consider ‘hard’ tasks. Besides it was therapeutic working in the stable so a job that others probably detested, Junaes really didn’t mind all that much.
The candidate was bent over with one of the stallion’s legs held between his knees, raking the packed dirt and dung from the animal’s hoof when Emoyan found him. Blinking and lifting his head to glance up at the man, Junaes gave the hoof a couple more careful scrapes before letting the animal have it back, releasing it gently. He straightened then and rubbed his forehead with the back of his wrist where it itched. Obviously his hands were dirty so he wasn’t going to be putting them all over his face. A quiet smile was earned by the Candidate Master for his praise before Junaes dropped the hoof pick into the bucket of other tools he carried around for grooming. “Thank you. He enjoys the attention.” The lad was quiet for a moment as the stallion in question turned his head as if to ask why the candidate had stopped his grooming efforts. It brought another smile to his face and he offered the stud a pat on the neck before turning his attention back to Emoyan once again.
“You must have been looking all over for me… unless you came here to enjoy the company.” He tilted his head somewhat, pale blue eyes questioning. He didn’t really go out of his way to hide from people, although there were times when Junaes preferred his solitude. But somehow he didn’t think Emoyan would go so out of his way to find him if there wasn’t something that couldn’t wait until the next lesson. Or maybe he just happened to wander into the stable and find him there. But still, in the two sevendays that the candidate had been at the Weyr, he’d never encountered his mentor in the stable before. Even though he was speculating quite a bit on why Emoyan was there and what he wanted, Junaes was quiet again, waiting for the man to say whatever it was he was going to say.
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Post by dragon on Nov 2, 2009 2:29:19 GMT -5
"I kinda did, yeah." Emoyan agreed. "It was quite a trail of elusive clues, to figure out where you'd got to. Of course ... I coulda tapped the spy network, but that is usually more trouble than it's worth." The grin Emoyan had on his face then betrayed the jest for what it was, as he got off the frame and pulled his hands out of his pockets. "I am not sure if it was my superb tracking skills that found you, or simply a matter of elimination of the places you could be hiding." He shrugged a bit, before continuing on a more serious note.
"I thought I'd come talk to you a bit. Maybe learn something, maybe help you out. We'll see." Emoyan said. "You seem off balance." It wasn't an accusation, just an observation. One that bothered Emoyan, at that. Partly on what that imbalance could mean in the lad himself, and partly in that he couldn't allow the lad to stand with a clear conscience so long as he was unbalanced like that. He didn't seem to have both feet on the ground, metaphorically speaking, and that wouldn't make for a good impression at all. In fact, it might make the problem worse if impression happened at all. "What's bothering you?" Emoyan asked, simply. Straight forward, no beating around the bush. He needed to know what was going on with his Candidates, so that he could help them work through it, and be ready for the moment of their lives come hatching day.
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Post by absinthe on Nov 2, 2009 5:36:38 GMT -5
To say that Junaes was paying more attention to the stallion in whose stall he was standing than to Emoyan wouldn’t have been accurate. Even if it did seem as if he was distracted, tugging playfully on the animal’s lip until the gray snorted and shook his head. That reaction was given a smile from the lad but it became obvious that the candidate had in fact been listening to his ‘Master when he blinked and looked at the older man with those startling eyes. “What do you mean unbalanced?” There was no heat or threat of upset in his voice; it was a simple, honest question. He didn’t know what Emoyan meant until he asked his question and then Junaes looked down, kicking at a clump of hay at his feet. The lad was debating over whether or not to tell the Candidate Master anything. He was actually a fairly private person and getting him to divulge much of anything personal was like pulling teeth. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t think it wasn’t anybody’s business or anything like that; he just didn’t feel like anyone wanted to hear him complain… including himself.
After a few minutes he shrugged one shoulder and leaned against the runner standing next to him, draping a long brown arm across the animal’s back. “I didn’t realize anyone could tell. It’s just a little homesickness is all.” He shrugged again. “I’ve only been here for two sevendays or so; I’m sure I’ll adjust. I left Hyphen because there’s nothing for me there. There’s so much to do here that I’m sure I’ll be useful somehow… even without a dragon.” The young man deliberately left out the fact that his father had died only that spring and he was sure that had something to do with it. He was basically homesick for a home that didn’t exist anymore, but would Emoyan understand that? Perhaps he’d understand better than Junaes thought he would, or perhaps he wouldn’t understand at all. But even though the Candidate Master had become an almost constant fixture in his life over the last two sevendays, he wasn’t comfortable enough with the man to tell him something that personal. He just wasn’t.
At the same time though, Junaes couldn’t fault the man for doing his job, which was why he wasn’t upset in any way and why he didn’t feel like Emoyan was trying to nose into his business. He knew that they were very picky about the candidates that were presented to a clutch and with very good reason. If anything, Junaes approved of Emoyan’s attention to detail. He honestly hadn’t thought anyone would notice his bouts of homesickness. He certainly didn’t broadcast it like others tended to do. He simply slipped away for some quiet time on his own and perhaps with an animal companion or two. There were a few of the small domesticated felines roaming about the Weyr with whom the candidate had become acquainted. Sometimes they kept him company while he daydreamed or read something he’d gotten his hands on at some point.
Glancing up at his mentor again, Junaes offered a smile that was meant to be reassuring in some way. “It’s nothing important. Really. I guess I just need a little more time.” While he certainly wanted his chance to try and Impress as much as the next lad, the candidate meant what he said; he would stay on at the Weyr even if he didn’t Impress. They would make use of him, and he felt that he had a better chance at a fuller life here than at the Hold. Now he would prepare himself for the possibility that Emoyan might find him unfit to Stand. He doubted that would happen though, considering it was just a bout of homesickness; there was nothing wrong with his mind or his body. Thankfully. “Is there anything else you’re worried about?” Now his curiosity was coming into play; he didn’t know if Emoyan would actually tell him if there was something else, but all he could do was ask.
Leaning down toward the bucket, Junaes grabbed the hoof pick again. He still had two more hooves to finish. “I’m listening.” After reassuring the Candidate Master that he still had the lad’s full attention, the candidate went around to the back of the beast and began to pick the hind hooves. There was no reason he couldn’t talk to the other man and tend to the runner at the same time. And anyway he was getting hungry; if he didn’t hurry up his stomach was going to start growling at him.
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Post by dragon on Nov 3, 2009 13:09:12 GMT -5
Homesickness. That might well explain quite a lot of it, but ... yet it didn't. Emoyan merely nodded in silence for a bit. He'd seen a lot of homesickness in his days as a Candidate Master ... even when he'd been a Candidate himself way back in the day. And yet - that wasn't the whole story. He was perceptive enough to know that. Plain old homesickness would not have caught his attention quite the way this lad had. Some homesickness was actually rather normal, unless there was something the kid was running away from. But this ... no, this was something more.
However, Emoyan was also perceptive enough to know better than to push. Whatever it was, it ran deep, and digging at it wasn't going to bring it out, air it out, or make it go away. It would only drive it deeper and make matters worse. If he had to put a single word to what he saw, once homesickness was stripped away, it had to be loss. Which, again, having been a Rider in a war, he'd seen plenty of. Which only reinforced his inclination not to dig. Homesickness and loss, even together, weren't enough to disqualify a Candidate from standing... not unless it grew and festered and became a monster all its own that warped the mind. Emoyan decided he'd just keep an eye on the lad, just in case. Otherwise ... Junaes would say what he wanted, when he wanted, and to whom he wanted.
"Alright." Emoyan said, finally, watching as the lad went back to work with the stallion. "That's all I wanted to know. Time you've got, don't worry about it. But if you decide you want someone to talk to, you know where to find me." He added, just in case. "Whatever you tell me, stops with me." That was always a fear with the young people ... their problems getting repeated to others. Especially with the young lads, some of whom thought it was weak to admit that they had problems at all.
For things like that, Emoyan was glad he was a Harper. It helped back up his current job... quite a few times he'd had to council some of the youths through rough patches, until they moved on out of his care and into the hands of the Weyrling Masters.
But! It was time to change the topic. See what else there was to learn about the lad. "There's going to be a new clutch not to far off." He speculated. "Have you thought about what kind of dragon you'd like to have?" While he always advised the Candidates against making such decisions, the kids usually speculated anyway. All had dreams. Some wanted blue, others aspired to Gold or Bronze. The danger lay in setting one's heart on a specific color.
Though, to be perfectly honest, what with the war going on, Emoyan was considerably shocked that young kids, especially from outside the Weyr, were still coming in to be Candidates. Because impressing a dragon threw one right onto the front lines of the war. These kids were brave hearted, just to be here and try.
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Post by absinthe on Nov 3, 2009 13:37:22 GMT -5
At first the sound of the pick scraping the runner’s hoof clean was the only sound that greeted the Candidate Master’s words followed by the soft, almost inaudible sound of the animal’s hoof making contact with the ground once again. Only then did Junaes straighten, reappearing to shake any loose dirt from the pick before looking up at Emoyan and offering one of his reserved smiles. “Thank you.” He meant it; it was good to know there was someone he could take concerns and topics of a more personal nature to, if he chose to do so. But it would have to be dire for the lad to make such a move. “I’ll be fine though.” The last hoof was picked up and underwent the same treatment as the other three but again the candidate was all ears as the older man spoke.
Straightening once again, Junaes wandered toward the front of the stall and dropped the pick in the bucket once more before looking up at his teacher and blinking. “I thought you told us not to get our hopes up for anything specific?” In spite of the question a smile tugged slightly at the corners of the young man’s mouth before he shrugged and worked at rubbing the dirt off his hands. “Well, either way it doesn’t matter. I’ll be as happy with a green as with a bronze.” It was true… not all lads pined after a big, strong bronze. Junaes would happily take whichever color chose him on the Sands, if any. To ride a dragon at all would be an honor in itself. Whether he was chosen by a big sturdy bronze or an agile little green (or anything in between) made no difference to him.
Besides, the whole thing about not getting one’s hopes up for a certain color was good advice. Junaes had a feeling that he just wasn’t really bronze material. If he was disappointed on the day of the Hatching, he wanted it to be because he was left standing, not because he didn’t get the bronze he felt he deserved. Never mind that he didn’t think that way to begin with. He offered a slight shrug to Emoyan. “Besides, I don’t really think I’ll Impress a bronze anyway.” It sounded like low self esteem talking, but the truth was that this was Junaes coming as close as he dared to admitting that he was bisexual. As far as he knew bronzes preferred heterosexual riders. He could admit to himself on at least this aspect that other males were attractive to him and that alone ruled out the possibility of Impressing a bronze.
Good thing he hadn’t come to the Weyr determined to Impress bronze.
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Post by dragon on Nov 3, 2009 13:54:05 GMT -5
Emoyan laughed. "That I did. But does it stop Candidates from doing just that? No, it doesn't. It's actually getting the idea of getting one thing in particular and fixing it so hard in your mind that you can't consider anything else. That ... well ... simply put, it deters them from ever wanting to impress you. Just like anyone else, a dragonet isn't going to want to be unwanted." He grinned a bit. "But it's good to know that some of you kids actually listen to what I say, rather than tuning me out." he joked. He did his best to not have boring lessons, but still ... some of the vacant stares he got were indication enough that he was just a droning tone to some of them. Took all kinds, apparently.
Emoyan merely shrugged, to Junae's comment about not being Bronze material. "Fully half of the dragons ever hatched are green. Very few Bronzes hatch out ... that trims down the chances of a lad impressing bronze right there. But on top of that ... it takes a certain kind of person to be able to ride Bronze and carry the responsibilities that go with it. Not everyone is potential leadership material." A Weyr needed more Indians than chiefs, after all. What was the point in leading if there was no one to lead?
Even if he had known that that statement was an admittion to being something other than het, Emoyan wouldn't have cared. Quite a few Candidates were that way ... and some that entered the Weyr het didn't always stay that way. Riding dragons did funny things to people, sometimes.
"I guess you could say I asked, just to see what you would say. Answers to questions like that can reveal a lot about a person, and what they think of themselves." Emoyan explained, leaning a shoulder on the frame of the gateway again in a relaxed fashion. "I find it interesting to see how different people answer basic questions like that." He nodded at the horse. "You like animals, I see. What did you do before you came here? Beastcraft?" It was a logical guess, but Emoyan wouldn't be surprised if it was wrong ... lots of people who weren't beastcraft loved to mess with animals to some degree. It took a very strange person to live on an agriculturally based world like Pern, and not like some animals to some degree. Said person would be a very unhappy person, surrounded by them as it were.
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Post by absinthe on Nov 3, 2009 21:00:25 GMT -5
“I guess not” came the quiet agreement with Emoyan about the other candidates and their expectations, accompanied with a smile. He was quiet after that, nodding to what the older man was saying about dragons and Impression. It made sense, to be sure, and he stored the information away for later. “I find your lessons interesting. Of course that may be because I’m Holdbred; I haven’t heard any of this before.” He imagined that most of the weyrbred candidates had heard most of it before, or just knew from observing the riders day in and day out, or perhaps having friends with dragons. Or maybe they all just thought they knew because of these things. Either way it was all stuff that Junaes wasn’t familiar with so he was happy to pay attention in classes.
He nodded yet again at Emoyan’s breakdown of the colors and smiled as the man explained at least part of why it was apparently difficult for anyone to Impress a bronze. Come to think of it, it was a lot of responsibility wasn’t it? And Impressing a bronze automatically put you in the running to be Weyrleader some day. The thought was downright intimidating to the lad; he had no idea how the inner workings of the Weyr were run. “Yeah… I don’t think I’d want all that responsibility.” He glanced at Emoyan before running his hand across his hair, searching for any stray pieces of hay or other bits that didn’t belong there. “I could do it if I had to, I’m sure. I would just… rather not have to.” The candidate looked back up at his teacher and offered another grin. “Is it unusual for you to hear candidates say they can take or leave a bronze?” The question had just occurred to him, and he knew that idea of lads pining after bronzes carried some truth, if not for him.
Honestly Junaes had been wondering what the reasoning behind the questions from the Candidate Master was and when Emoyan broke down and told him, he was vaguely relieved although he was careful not to show it on his face. He had been afraid for a moment that the older man had seen something in him that made him unfit to Stand. Of course he had no idea what that might be… his mind was in order, and he was the epitome of physical health as well. Being so… unbiased regarding dragon color may have made him seem like he just didn’t care but that was far from the truth. He wanted to Impress every bit as much as the other candidates did. He was just smart enough to realize that being unbiased toward a certain color increased his chances of walking off the Sands with a dragon. And wasn’t that the gist of what Emoyan had just strongly implied as well?
The Candidate Master’s next comments earned a curious tilt of the head from his pupil. “And what did I reveal about myself when I answered?” There was no egotism in his voice, or lack of confidence; it was just a question, the curiosity to see what Emoyan had decided upon hearing his answers. As for the question of Beastcraft, Junaes simply smiled and shook his head. “No, I don’t practice a Craft; when the mine reopened in the Hold, most of my father’s crew took to mining firestone. So when I was a kid I worked on his fishing boat up until a few Turns ago. When my mother died, I started doing some work in the mine when we weren’t out on the boat.” He shrugged one shoulder as if to say ‘no big deal’, even though the smile had faded from his face and he was no longer looking directly at Emoyan. The runner on which the lad leaned once more turned his massive head to snuffle at and lip the young man’s hair. It smelled like hay.
The animal’s antics earned a small smile from Junaes as he ran his work-roughened hand down the runner’s nose. “My father died in the spring so after that I just stayed on at the mine. I guess it’s why I’m here; there’s nothing really left at Hyphen for me.” The statement was made quite matter-of-factly but as perceptive as Emoyan seemed to be, this was likely the clue he’d been looking for. Junaes was basically homesick for a home that no longer existed; his parents were gone, and he had no siblings or other family that he knew of. It had to be hard on someone so young, but there were likely hundreds if not thousands of others in the same situation thanks to the war… even though this particular lad had never really been touched by the war itself.
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Post by dragon on Nov 3, 2009 22:31:50 GMT -5
"Weyrbrats don't tend to attend my lessons, unless they feel pressured to do it." Emoyan said, ruefully. "They just randomly turn up at hatching day, as if they are entitled to being able to Stand just because their daddy was a Rider, or something like that. Most of the Candidates that attend lessons are just like you ... from one Hold or another. Really, you Holders are smarter, for it. You know that you don't know, and take steps to remedy that. More smarts, less ego, usually. Which is good. Makes for better Riders, in my opinion." Emoyan shrugged.
"Unusual? Yes, I guess so. It's rare to find someone who is interested in Riding, and really has no preset notions of what they want in a dragon. Most have some idea, and that's what they want. Of course, there are always those that you hear about, who go around talking themselves up, about how they are destined for Gold or Bronze. Most of them either age out, or get really disappointed when when all they Impress is a Green. But truly, the wings wouldn't be half as effective for thread without the agile greens and blues." Emoyan pointed out. "There's nothing wrong with the rest. And there's far less pressure on those positions, too. All depends on what a personality is cut out for."
Emoyan nodded when Junaes asked what he'd revealed. The more the lad spoke, the more Emoyan liked the way his head was screwed on. This lad made sense with his thoughts, more often than not. That was something to be said for him, considering that most lads didn't. They were hung up on one thing or another. If not their own image, then on girls. Or ... other lads, sometimes. Some of them were just hopeless. "First off: you're smart enough to pay attention, listen, and remember in class. That's a huge plus in your favor. You also didn't come here with high notions of grandeur. Which is another plus in your favor. You seem to have a good sense of balance in how to handle things ... but on the flip side, you also don't have any clear idea what you want, or where you're going in life. Now do you? More of a sit in the boat and see where the river takes you. If you crash to shore, then there you are. How close am I?" Emoyan asked, with a slight grin.
All amusement he might have been showing faded away though, as he listened intently to the tale that Junaes then spun, starting with how he wasn't beastcraft after all. It made sense ... it explained a lot, actually. When Junaes finished, Emoyan nodded ever so slightly, to signify he'd been paying attention. "I see. I think that explains a lot of what I was seeing in you. That's a lot to endure." For a moment, he was silent, before speaking again, albeit quietly. "I can see why you left."
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Post by absinthe on Nov 4, 2009 1:06:12 GMT -5
Now why had he gone and said that? Junaes resisted the urge to frown and rub his forehead in frustration. The Candidate Master was sympathetic but if anything that made it a little worse. The lad didn’t want to seem like he was fishing for sympathy or trying to pull a pity party. Shaking his head at himself slightly, Junaes just didn’t say anything. Instead he changed the subject and hoped that Emoyan wouldn’t pick up on his slight irritation at himself. “I thought that all candidates were required to attend lessons. Do weyrfolk just randomly attend Hatchings as candidates, or do they just not go to lessons?” This was something he was actually curious about; even if he’d been born and raised in the Weyr he would have been attending the candidate lessons. What if they taught something important that he hadn’t learned yet? From what he knew from the classes already attended the lessons seemed to be essential in prepping the candidates for the Hatching, not just by teaching them the protocol and other necessities but by preparing their minds as well which was equally important in its own right. It was daunting sometimes to hear Emoyan talk about the things expected of candidates before, during, and after Impression.
He couldn’t help but grin at the older man’s comments regarding the more arrogant candidates before shaking his head again. “I don’t see how people do it. I don’t understand how some people can boast about things they don’t even have.” It was actually rather funny to him, really. The prospect of hearing someone brag about a gold or a bronze they didn’t even have was amusing. But it also brought up something else. “And how are people disappointed at all when they Impress? Even if a girl who has her heart set on Impressing a gold bonds with a green instead… isn’t Impression supposed to be… well, a happy occasion? How does the hatchling feel if her rider is disappointed that she’s a green instead of a gold?” Would a green even choose someone like that? The lad’s interest in the subject showed plainly and he had already forgotten about the slip up earlier of mentioning his father’s death.
Of course he was another matter. Junaes had listened to what Emoyan had to say about him with another kind of interest. While he didn’t necessarily pin a lot on other people’s opinions of him, obviously he was going to wonder how his Candidate Master saw him. After all it was Emoyan who had the ultimate say in whether or not the boy would Stand before the upcoming clutch. The final comment though had earned a crooked smile. “Yeah. Something like that. I know what I want right now but after that… I guess we’ll see.” It was true; right now, Junaes wanted a dragon. Not with the desperation of some people, but a dragon would be very nice, and give him some direction in life. However if he didn’t Impress… then odds were he’d have to decide on another course of action unless there was another clutch before he aged out, which seemed likely but still. If that happened, maybe he’d just become a drudge or something, who knew? But for now, he was a candidate and he was content as such.
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Post by dragon on Nov 5, 2009 1:10:38 GMT -5
Emoyan shrugged slightly, allowing the obviously painful matter of Junaes' past to slip by without another comment. He wasn't there to upset the lad. In fact, he'd come all this way to see if he couldn't help. And and dunce knew that upsetting someone was no way to help them. So on to the new topic ... especially since it was one of the youth's choosing. Guaranteed harmless topic, while at the same time giving more insight into the lad ... and maybe a bit of one on one teaching. Which was by general rule time consuming ... but by far more effective than classes. That, and Emoyan rather liked getting to know the Candidates, if at all possible. Too many of them saw him as an unapproachable sheriff and that was it. "Weyrbrats, once they reach a certain age, are simply expected to stand. Most, if not all, of them have dragonriding blood in them. And believe it or not, it does seem like dragonriding is slightly genetic. Weyrbrats impress more quickly than holders do, at younger ages, on average. But that might also be that they are here just as soon as they are old enough. Some holders don't get found until they're almost too old. The math is fuzzy, at best. But anyway ... weyrbrats grow up with the lifestyle, immersed in it. They not only think they already know it, having grown up watching it all, but most others also think the same thing. Me ... I was not a weyrbrat, rather a trained Harper, before I started Riding. So I tend to have a slightly more objective view of things. Trouble is, weyrbrats get bored in lessons, because they do, actually, have a leg up over holders. Which starts trouble and mischief and... well ... nobody learns anything, to be blunt. It's easier, even if not wise, to just let them fly on their own. They should attend lessons..." Emoyan shrugged again. "But no one is going to make them. Some do turn up on their own. But it's most of the time more of a publicity statement than anything else."
"Now, don't get me wrong. Weyr raised Riders are no idiots. They did grow up in the ... well, for lack of a better word, Craft. They are immersed in this lifestyle from day one. They know the ins and outs of a Weyr better than anyone else. And being exposed to dragons all their lives ... they do know quite a bit about them by the time they reach Candidacy age. Even about hatchings, as a Weyr can have quite a few hatchings every Turn. One for every Queen. Selenitas, for instance, tends to keep about three Queens around, though only two have been breeding, one on coming. Two hatchings a turn. People talk... even the slowest weyrbrat learns a lot long before he reaches age."
"That's egos for you. Makes people act the fools, but they're so hung up on themselves, they actually believe it, and sometimes strut their stuff so convincingly that others believe them, too." Emoyan scratched a brow, and then shook a finger thoughtfully. "That is exactly the point I try to convey through lessons. If you get so set in your ways, that green or whatever won't Impress to ya. She'll instead go to someone who is going to love her just as much as she does her rider. Dragons don't want to be unwanted. Which is why some people age out. I have to say, weyr raised candidates are worse about that than others. They think that because their parent was a high ranker, so too will they be. Sometimes it's true ... sometimes it's not. Some of them get wise eventually, and Impress late in Candidacy ranges. But you are right. Impression itself is a severely euphoric experience. In that moment, the whole rest of Pern simply ceases to exist. All there is, is you and your dragon. And that bond of love. It takes a while for Pern to snap back into focus, but it is never the same again. It's an amazing sensation, suddenly knowing that you'll never be alone again. Some find the moment of Impression orgasmic." He paused a moment, before continuing thoughtfully, trying to make sure to answer all the questions that Junaes had asked. "If a girl set on gold does impress, but to a green, she still gets the high of Impression. Most snap out of it, completely in love with their green. Very few can go through Impression and establish that bond and still be resentful of falling short of their lofty goals. If and when that does happen ... it makes for a rather unhappy bonding. It becomes something of a love/hate relationship. They could never separate, never betray ... but they won't get along very well either. Occasionally you find a pair like that. Always bitching and griping at one another when they're not otherwise occupied in something that requires them to work together as one."
Emoyan nodded firmly at Junae's response to his own appraisal. "Keeping your options open is generally a good idea. But don't be so far open that you completely lose sight of actually taking affirmative action. You're doing good - you want a dragon, so you attend lessons and hatchings. that's affirmative enough for that goal. But there will be other times in life where keeping all your options open will shoot you in the foot like you've never thought possible. Occasionally you have to knuckle down, decide, and commit. Just remember that. Having rigid plans are bad, but having no plan is just as bad. Decide what you would like, in the most ideal setting. And then make contingency plans, in case facets of the original don't work. For instance: you want a dragon. But what are you going to do if you don't get one? The last thing you need at the moment of utter let down of losing all chance of a dragon is to not have a plan. No idea where to go next. Or ... if Faranth forbid ... you get your dragon and then lose it." Indeed, that was a sore spot for Emoyan, the loss of his own dragon. In that moment that he'd never dreamed of happening, he'd almost lost his own life. He'd had no plans, no direction, no purpose anymore. It had taken all of his pets and a prod from the Weyrleader to get him moving again. Which landed him where he was now: Candidate Master. Now, he had a direction and purpose again. But others had provided the plan, shored him up where he had totally lacked. "Always have an idea of the future, just ... don't tie yourself irreversibly to it." He advised. "That river will drown you just as fast as deliver you someplace. You might pass up something good, only to crash farther downstream at something substandard. And I'm not talking just dragons. It applies to life in general. So - paddle, for all you're worth. But don't try to paddle upstream."
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Post by absinthe on Nov 5, 2009 7:18:02 GMT -5
Despite the lengthiness of the speech Junaes was sure to listen to what the Candidate Master was saying. If he was saying it then it must be important. He nodded every now and again to show he was listening but it was obvious his attention was placed squarely on the other man. The information was useful and interesting to him. And, perhaps without meaning to, Emoyan had given Junaes some insight into himself as well. There was one more question that the young man wanted to ask but wasn’t sure how. In any case he wanted to wait until he was finished speaking. And he really was giving his pupil some food for thought. Junaes had briefly considered what to do if he ended up not Impressing but nothing had really seemed to suit him on first approach. He made a mental note to learn more about various jobs around the Weyr; maybe there was something he could do, even if it was just a stablehand job or something similar. He’d already decided that he’d prefer staying at the Weyr if possible.
His train of thought derailed though when Emoyan finished talking, at least for that moment. “So… you were a dragonrider.” The words were quiet and almost apologetic. Junaes wasn’t deliberately trying to bring up bad feelings and memories, but he was very interested in this subject. “I’d really like to know some other things, if it’s all right.” He resisted the urge to plow on, instead waiting for a reply from his teacher. Before Emoyan could give one however, the lad’s stomach issued a deep gurgle, clearly demanding to be fed. Blinking, Junaes glanced down at himself before looking back up with a faintly sheepish smile. “Heh. I guess it’s time to eat.” Still, he made no move to leave the stable. He really would stand there hungry while Emoyan talked… especially about things that held the young man’s interest as keenly as Impression and dragonriding. But now that his stomach had his attention it was hard for Junaes to focus on other things.
Somewhat disappointed at having to interrupt the conversation, the candidate scrubbed his dirty hands through his hair. It needed to be washed anyway. “Do you mind if we um… go to the dining hall? I’m starving.” Hopefully the Candidate Master wasn’t busy or had other things on his agenda for the evening although Junaes figured if that was the case they could always pick up some other time. Perhaps after a lesson. Either way his stomach was demanding that he get a move on.
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Post by dragon on Nov 5, 2009 20:28:46 GMT -5
The rumble from the lad's guts was not exactly subtle in the least. Likely every runner in the stable heard it. Emoyan cracked a crooked grin, and stepped out of the gateway. Jerking his chin down the hall, he indicated for Junaes to come out of the stall. "Let's go tame that monster of yours before it goes wild and eats you inside out." He joked, quite willing to go with the lad to the messhall. It was almost mealtime anyway. It was quite a walk to get there, but it shouldn't matter much. After all, the mess surely had enough food to quell the appetite the walk would work up.
"I was a Rider, once, yes. After nearly fifteen turns of that life, it all ended for me about a turn ago, during one of the attacks that Benden made on Selenitas. My dragon - he was a blue - decided to go looking for my flitter, who was missing. I am not sure how, but he ended up at the Weyrling Barracks, and more than likely saved the lives of quite a few of the young dragons and their riders before he was ultimately torn apart himself by the attacking dragons. They didn't take too kindly to his stomping their riders into the ground and chewing on them. Nor to his keeping their flames off the weyrlings at the cost of his own wing sails. Kindrith was a fool sometimes, but his heart was in the right place. He died well." Emoyan answered, hearing well the questions that went along with the statement. "He left me in a very bad state, and it took some doing from people around me to get me moving again. But, in the end, it's not all for loss. Having been there myself, having Impressed, Ridden, fought Thread and wars both, and then lost ... I know exactly what I am teaching you young people about, what it's like, and everything. Often times, a Candidate master was either never a Rider, or is currently one and doesn't really have the time to devote to doing the job as thoroughly as it ought to be done." He looked at Junaes, and nodded with a small smile. "I can answer any questions you have, feel free to ask." And it was true: Emoyan did know what it felt like, through every stage of the process of being bonded to a dragon. Now, teaching the Candidates was all he had. Too old to reimpress, as some people did. Even too old for a wher. Not that he was terribly interested in a wher. His heart lay with the dragons of the sky, not the dragons of the night. In this way, he knew the material like his own soul, and yet still had the time, attention, and training to give the youths the very best shot at finding their own mindmate. It worked. Quite well, actually.
"What was it you wanted to ask?"
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Post by absinthe on Nov 6, 2009 9:00:19 GMT -5
Junaes didn’t have to be told twice. Giving His Lordship a farewell pat, the candidate retrieved the bucket of grooming tools and went to put them away, speaking a farewell to all the runners in the stable as he rejoined his teacher. The tale of Emoyan’s dragon sent many emotions coursing through the young man although none of them showed on his face. He actually sympathized with the Candidate Master even though he himself had obviously never lost a dragon. He did know what loss felt like though, and while he wasn’t sure if his loss could compare to the older man’s, at least he wasn’t completely clueless.
As they walked out of the stable, Junaes glanced up at the darkening sky. The jungle cast a gloom around them even though the sun hadn’t quite set just yet; it hovered on the horizon and a few of its rays broke through the trees here and there but for the most part it was rather dark. Despite this however it was a rather nice evening out, warm without being oppressive, with a cool breeze that filtered through the trees every now and then. As they walked along, Junaes was actually quiet, more like his typical self. The lad had actually opened up to Emoyan quite a bit during this little visit, something that didn’t really happen often.
He thought to himself for a moment, seeming to take his time to choose his questions as well as how they would be worded. “Did you Impress here at Selenitas?” The questions to come depending on the answer to this one, although there were several possibilities floating around in the young man’s head right now; he wanted to know everything about the life of a dragonrider that he possibly could. Who’d have thought all he had to do was ask his Candidate Master?
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