Mending more than clothes (Hinsero)

[Rowana]

Sewing was more than an occupation for Porita. It was one of the few times she felt completely in control. From small patches to entire dresses, each and every stitch did what she wanted. Even when she made mistakes, which happened from time to time, she could always be confident that the end result would still be a success. To her, nothing else was as peaceful or rewarding. Nothing, that is, except those few precious minutes with Jipth.

Even now, nearly two months later, the pain still burned in her heart. The nightmares, though not as frequent, still plagued her mind. She was surrounded by other candidates, even others who must feel as much pain as she did, and yet she had never felt so very alone. Perhaps the only reason she hadn't simply given up and let the river take her away, was because she had promised Jipth she wouldn't cry. To her, that was also a promise not to give up.

So, Porita sat in a corner of the common room. Her basket of threads and needles was at her side and a handful of cloth in her lap. The weyr staff and other candidates had no shortage of mending to keep her occupied. At least in this small way, she could be a part of something far more important than she was.

[Ruby]

"Porita, right?" Hinsero asked, taking a seat next to one of the other candidates without asking. She was one of the quiet ones, and, he assumed, one of the poor weyrlings who had lost her Dragon to that hideous, unnecessary cruelty at the last Hatching. He hadn't avoided them on purpose, but several of them had stayed in the Infirmary for the first few weeks, and he'd been busy with chores. He'd also visited the newly-impressed M'ze more than once, and had been trying his best to keep an eye on young Armind without the kid realizing it (easier said than done).

It had been Heart who noticed the girl in the corner. Left to his own devices, he would have just headed back to his bunk and maybe picked up something to read for his pseudo-apprenticeship, but the Green was subtly insistent (not that Hinsero had noticed). See? She sews, the Green had murmured in her usual deferential purr, directing his attention appropriately. You must practice, is that not correct?

It is, smart girl, he'd replied, then gone right over to his fellow Candidate, the ghostly Heart curled around his bare wrist. He peered over at what Porita was working on, and his face quickly took on a look of surprise. "Wow, that's so... perfect," he praised, cocking his head to one side to get a different angle on her stitches. "How long have you been sewing?"

[Rowana]

The squeak that escaped Porita's mouth more closely resembled a mouse than a girl. She'd been so intent on her task, that she hadn't realized the other candidate had approached her. Wide, frightened eyes met Hinsero's briefly before she hurriedly looked down again. "Yes," she answered softly. She might not have spoken at all, except she'd been trained always to answer questions truthfully, especially from men.

Porita felt her cheeks growing pink with embarrassment. She fiddle with the end of a orange scarf that hid her neck and shook her head vigorously. It wasn't perfect in her mind and besides it was only fixing the hem on one of the weyrbrat's shirts. Yet she had never received such a compliment from a man before and she wasn't entirely sure how to take it. "Since I was small," she admitted obediently. She wanted to ask his name and why he was even bothering to talk to her at all, but that would have been horribly rude. Maybe some of the other girls would have, but Porita still found it close to impossible to break out of the mold her mother had formed for her.

[Ruby]

Hinsero noted the hint of fear in Porita's eyes, but decided not to mention it. Odd, that, but only Faranth knew where people came from, and what had been done to them in the past. Perhaps he could prove whoever had made her fear wrong. Perhaps that is why she'd been sewing in the corner just at that moment?

Well, whatever the reason, Hinsero started extending a hand to her, then thought better of it given that her own hands were full. "Hinsero. I'm a Candidate, too, although I don't think we met before the last Hatching." Ah, darn, he probably shouldn't have brought THAT up. Well, too late now. Soldiering on to cover whatever awkwardness might come from that pronouncement, he turned his attention back to the sewing again. "Really, that's pretty impressive. You learned at home I guess?" He gave her a moment to respond, but as she seemed fairly quiet, he figured he'd have to do most of the work here. The Candidate was ok with that.

"Man, I'd kill - well, not really at all, but you know the expression - I'd give just about anything to be able to sew that straight. I work in the Infirmary, not really an Apprentice yet but I'm working on it, and I can't really move forward until I get better at stitching up wounds. I can do every thing else, but..." he lifted his hands to show them to her - big, rough, manly hands, not even a little bit suited to the delicate work that sewing required. Heart, aware of the scrutiny, retreated up his arm, finally taking a place on his shoulder and regarding Porita with gently whirling eyes. Hinsero sighed, dropping his hands back to his lap.

Compliment her, Heart cooed, from his shoulder. You wish to learn her secrets, do you not? Perhaps her scarf. Smoothly, Hinsero added, "I like the scarf. Did you make it?"

[Rowana]

A flash of deep sadness crossed Porita's eyes at the mention of the Hatching. Even if she dared to remember it, she couldn't recall any of the other candidates who had stood with her. She set her sewing aside on one knee, glancing up apologetically. In some way she felt it was her fault she didn't remember him when he knew her name already. She nodded dumbly to his question, but didn't elaborate. What else needed to be said? Hinsero seemed nice, but like most men, he probably only wanted something from her. At least in the North men were outright with their demands.

The fear struck Porita a second time at the word "kill" and for a horrible moment she recalled her husband's cold face as he drew the knife. Quickly she shook her head, causing some of her dark hair to hide her eyes. Still, Hinsero's talk about the infirmary had surprised her. Never had she ever thought that a man would ask her for advice. And about sewing of all things! His reasoning did make sense, but the idea of asking her to learn how to sew was just so strange. Well, he hadn't actually voiced the request yet, so maybe that wasn't actually it. Reflexively, Porita glanced at his hands and noted that they were indeed unsuited to the delicate task of stitching. She wondered why he wanted to learn so badly. Surly the Weyr had plenty of other tasks he could learn. She might have asked, but shyness kept her tongue still.

The movement from his wrist made Porita gasped in surprise. She watched with wide eyes as the pale, green creature made it's way to his shoulder. She'd never seen a salamandyr up close before. If it hadn't moved, she would have thought it was a bracelet. Catching herself before she could stare, Porita realized that Hinsero was asking another question. A hand went to her scarf automatically. "Yes," she managed weakly, turning pink again. Then, because she thought it might be seen as rude, she added, "Thank you."

[Ruby]

And yes, there was the sadness he had so boorishly brought up. She had lost a mindmate, then; someone like him who hadn't impressed at all wouldn't look quite so intensely bereft. Poor girl, no wonder she was so quiet. With a look of quiet sympathy, he reached out to gently squeeze her shoulder, leaving his hand there for a second before he withdrew it. Sometimes silent sympathy was best, he had learned - mothers who had lost their babies in childbirth, or husbands who lost their wives to complicates, often needed just that simple gesture while the wounds were still fresh. Anything more was often too hard to take.

As sensitive as the healer was to sadness, fear often passed him by, and he wrote the startled look in her eyes now off as simple shyness, or something. Kill probably hadn't been the best choice of word. Luckily she seemed to have gotten over it (at least enough not to run away), and he figured he should focus on the positive from now on. "It really is beautiful. You could sell those at Gathers, make a few extra marks. I'd buy one," he added, smiling more than was probably necessary.

Pausing as Heart purred something gentle and encouraging into his mind, Hinsero blinked, coming back to reality. "Sorry, that was rude. This is my salamandyr, Heart. She says I should just come out and ask you if you'll give me some pointers on my sewing, so I guess I will. Would you mind? I don't have a lot of marks, but maybe I could pick up a few days of your chores or something in return? You have no idea how much it would help me out. I'm trying to get a real apprenticeship in the infirmary, and they won't approve it until I can sew things straight..."

[Rowana]

Porita's expression change to one of genuine shock. The very idea of her making her own money! True, her father and husband had been fierce business men, but their woman were never supposed to think about that. All she did was cook, clean and sew. No one had ever complimented her so much on something that seemed so simple. Porita shook her head, turning even pinker. She forced herself to change the subject. No sense in letting Hinsero put pretty ideas in her head. She wasn't good enough to make her own way.

Gratefully, she grasped the change of conversation. "She's beautiful," Porita whispered, nodding at Heart. Really she was a stunning creature, so pale and delicate. Blinking, she realized that Hinsero had asked a question of her. She toyed with her fingers nervously, but she could hardly say no. Yet, to pay her, even with chores. That was just too much. "Yes, of course," she mumbled, turning pink again. She set aside her current project and pick up a pair of pants that had popped a seam. "You don't have to do anything for me, really," she went on nervously.

Carefully, she lined up the two sides of the seam in her lap. "They go together like this," she began softly, glancing up to see if he was watching. Seams were the easiest to repair and a good place to start.

[Ruby]

What a strange girl. Not in a bad way - Hinsero actually thought she was quite nice, if very, very shy. But why couldn't he make her smile? Clearly she needed it. Apparently she was going to make make him work harder, though. Well, luckily for her Hinsero had never minded a challenge. Reaching up to his shoulder, he coaxed Heart onto the back of his hand, holding her out towards Porita. "You can pet her if you want, she won't bite." Flaring her wings, Heart leaped off Hinsero's wrist, gliding in a tight spiral from his hand to Porita's knee. She didn't act like she had done anything odd; she was simply curious about this new human Hers was so interested in.

When Porita picked up the pants, Hinsero got up from where he was sitting, sliding his chair around next to Porita's so he could look over her shoulder. He leaned in close, trying to get the same angle she was at. Nudging her slightly when she denied any sort of help in return, he said, "We'll see about that. Maybe I'll have to sneak in like a spy while your back is turned and chop vegetables for you or something. You may want to think twice about going on break if you don't want me helping you out at all..." His tone was light and teasing, obviously a joke she was in on.

Hinsero reached over to Porita's lap, carefully lifting the pants out of her hands. Carefully lining up the edges, he looked at her for approval, then looked blankly at her selection of needles. Reaching tentatively for a medium-sized one, he hesitated before he picked it up, waiting for permission. When it was given, he picked a spool of thread to match the pants, then frowned at the needle. Holding it up in front of his face, he squinted at the hole, carefully guiding the thread towards it. Right when he thought he had it, he reached around to pull the thread through - "Ouch!"

A tiny pinpoint of blood blossomed on one of his fingers, but instead of looking upset, Hinsero laughed. "See? This is why I need you," he chuckled, fumbling a handkerchief out of a pocket to blot the blood on. "If you can help me be better than that, you're worth all the marks in the world."

[Rowana]

Porita started a little when the salamandyr landed on her knee. She reached out slowly and carefully rubbed Heart's head with one finger. The skin was so much softer than she expected. Porita was so distracted by Heart that she wasn't watching what Hinsero was trying to do. She looked up sharply in alarm, her eyes widening at his injury. "Oh no!" she cried in distress. He hadn't been lying about being bad at sewing. Even threading the needle was a challenge for him.

"Here." Somehow her nerves were lessening slowly. Hinsero reminded her of helping some of the younger girls at Ista. They had been clumsy with needles too. Porita carefully picked up the needle between two fingers. She held up in the thread in the other. "Try bringing the needle to the thread, not the other way," she suggested softly. She demonstrated pinching the thread between her fingers and carefully rolling the needle into it. With his larger hands, maybe this way would be easier. Undoing her work, she held it back to him, trying to to meet his eyes. What if he got angry at being corrected?

[Ruby]

"Needle to the thread..." he repeated, committing her instructions to memory while he watched her effortlessly feed the thread through the tiny hole. Shaking his head a little, he accepted needle and thread once she'd unstrung them, looking at it wistfully. "You make it look so easy. Let me try again..." Meeting her eyes with a smile, he held the needle and thread up between them, trying to imitate her movements. He got close, but didn't quite make it. "At least I didn't poke myself this time?"

Shifting a little so the light hit the needle's hole better, Hinsero tried again, not quite managing to get the thread all the way through before he screwed it up again. With a lighthearted sigh, he said, "This may take a moment or two... Tell me about yourself, keep me from focusing too hard on this. I bet it'll help." He flashed a smile her way, then went back to attempting to thread the needle - needle to the thread, not the other way around. Needle to thread.

[Rowana]

Porita had never thought threading a needle was hard before, but watching Hinsero try convinced her it must be so. He was getting better, though, and even if he didn't, she would have blamed herself for being a poor teacher. "You're getting better," she ventured nervously. At least he was taking it well. Her father would have shouted at her by now, or worse. That was if he bothered to notice her at all, of course. She watched in silence for a few moments longer, until his next words made her freeze.

"About me?!" she squeaked, her eyes going wide. Even Wrolnoh had barely question her on her past anymore than he had to. She felt herself turn pink when he smiled. Goodness but he was handsome when he did that. Porita shook her head quickly. "I'm no one special," she insisted hurriedly. Surly he would rather talk about something else, or just focus on his task. Would talking really help him concentrate?

[Ruby]

Porita's confirmation that he was improving got a smile from Hinsero, and then, all of a sudden, he had the needle threaded! "Yeah I am!" he celebrated, but of course in his excitement his hand slipped, pulling the thread free again. Laughing and shaking his head, the candidate said, "Oh well, at least I got it once. I'll be better from now on, I'm sure." He returned to his work with renewed vigor, then gestured at her with the thread. "See? As soon as you distracted me I got better."

Her surprised - scared? - response wasn't what he'd expected, although he probably should have by now. "Yes you," he said gently, as if she were making a joke. "Come on, there's got to be something interesting about you. Great Faranth has a path set out for everyone; no one's life is too insignificant for her touch. Me, for instance - I'm here because my father was a Benden rider, and he wronged my mother. I believe it is my duty to make up for his transgressions, but we'll see, of course. Great Faranth works in mysterious ways." As if punctuating his sentence, Hinsero managed to thread the needle again, pulling the thread all the way through so he could knot the ends together. "See?" he asked, shooting her a smile again.

Adjusting the pants on his lap so he could get at the seam more easily, he tentatively inserted the needle, looking at her for guidance. He was doing it right, though, so none should be forthcoming. "What about you? What lead you to the Weyr?"

[Rowana]

Apparently talking really did help concentration, because Hinsero had finally managed to thread the needle. Porita's smile was a bit larger then, and her eyes filled with relief. Maybe she was not such a bad teacher after all. "Very good," she agreed, encouragingly. He seemed to be getting it and he was already doing the next step correctly. His words made her blush yet again, but she listened politely to his story. She was surprised to hear he was from the North as well. He was nothing like the Northern men she knew.

Well, now it would really be rude to say nothing after he'd told her about himself. Porita was silent for a long moment, biting her lip. What could she tell him? "My family is from Southern Boll," she began softly. "My father married me to an Ista trader. Then..." She stopped, her hands knotting in her lap. She couldn't speak ill of her husband to anther man, could she? Wrolnoh had made it clear he cared not what happened to her. "He didn't want me." Porita's face paled and she shook her head. It was all she dared say. "A rider brought me here."

[Ruby]

Hinsero's brow furrowed, but he didn't say anything until he had completed the stitch he was working on and could look up, doing his best to meet Porita's gaze even if she wanted to look elsewhere. "Didn't want you?" he asked, tone full of confusion and hurt. "I don't... but..." Clearly this was too much for his brain to handle. How could that be possible? Or a better question: "Why did he marry you if he didn't want you? Marriage is a sacred contract, not to be entered in to unless you are serious about your commitment to the other. I could... would never..."

Abruptly, he realized it sounded like he could be refering to her. Picking up his sewing again, he stuttered about as he tried to complete another stitch, this one even more haphazard and out of alignment than the last. "I didn't mean YOU, you aren't at fault, he's just... I don't... I mean, I know it happens, but I simply can not understand it. it is so easy for people to go down the wrong path when they turn away from Great Faranth." Working on another stitch, Hinsero dropped his head over the fabric again, adding, "If it isn't horribly rude of me to ask, I'd be curious how it happened. Just so I understand. Don't tell me if you don't want to, I don't mind."

[Rowana]

Porita found her eyes captured by Hinsero's. She should have kept her mouth shut, she berated herself. Now he was really going to hate her for speaking ill of her husband. His questions were odd though, she had a hard time comprehending. What reason did Wrolnoh need? Her father had offered and he had accepted, it was all that was ever said. She pulled her gaze away, biting her lip. Hinsero sounded sincere in his words and he was right. She was wrong to have left.

She glanced back at his work, as he continued to talk. Was he trying to apologize? She couldn't fathom why, not to her at any rate. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. The idea of talking about brought back the horror of those moments. She shook her head quickly, driving the memories away. "It was me," she admitted softly. A hand went to her belly, the one that would never bear the joy of children. "It was my fault." My fault I could not give him the only thing he really wanted from me, she thought. "I couldn't...I can't..." she bit back tears. I promised I wouldn't cry, she thought firmly.

Unable to finish the words, Porita looked back at the stitches instead. "That's good," she told her, her voice growing more steady. It was so much easier to talk about this than her past. "If you pinch the fabric together and put the needle through both sides at once, you can make the stitches smaller." She demonstrated slowly with a spare needle.