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Post by rii on Jun 15, 2010 1:28:31 GMT -5
It struck F'lix as bizarre to think that S'rei had given them permission to be absent for a full sevenday – let alone go north. Expected maybe a day off from wing drills. After all, he wasn't the first person to lose a mindmate. In the end it had to revolved around how useful a person could still be despite the loss. At least once all the social politeness was cast aside and the truth revealed. That was the only explanation that stood sound as far as the Weyrleader went. F'lix understood the idea of functionality better than he did compassion. The younger bluerider was by no means a cold-hearted person, but he just couldn't form any sort of logical rationalization for the kinder acts of the heart that he himself did from time to time.
Easier to focus on these thoughts than the feelings F'ur was unknowingly stirring, F'lix continued to trace his finger feather light across the petal. Black to white. Most preferred the flowers that were vibrant in color (but his weyrmate wasn't like most people, now was he). F'lix would have continued on like that, in silence and in a world his own pondering the insignificant details around him, if not for the hand lifting his face up. A kiss. One he mutely returned with a faint press of his own lips. It could mean anything but.. no. The following words informed him that F'ur was broaching the topic that typically went without direct acknowledgment.
"No," A quiet protest to the question. F'lix didn't turn his head away, but his golden eyes slipped off to the sides as his lashes lowered to aid in shielding any glistening quality that lingered. There was no right or wrong to the situation. F'ur was only trying to help. How could there be fault in caring enough for another person to want to try and ease their pain, or make them smile.
His knees struck the snow on either side of the flower, surrendering to the small touch that pulled him closer. The fingers of his un-gloved hand noticeably twitched. Part of him wanted to be angry, to shove F'ur away. Hated this. Hated appearing so weak in front of the older man. With eyes tightly closed, F'lix turned his face close to F'ur's neck as the words brushed over his ear. It would be so easy in that moment to say that everything was alright, that he was fine.
"And what would I do back there." The words were whispered, but still managed to come out harsh in a self-directed anger. "Numb myself to get through wing drills, then just lie on the bed and stare at the walls while listening to my thoughts fall down these holes Simper left." His bare fingers snuck into F'ur's hair, curling against the man's scalp. "You have nothing to be sorry about."
Just a sorry excuse of a weyrmate that couldn't keep it together for more than five minutes.
His finger coiled more tightly. "I'm lucky to have you." He touched his nose to the warm skin along F'ur's neck in a light nuzzle. A sigh escaped him. "I can't think, F'ur. Everything keeps slipping away and out of my control. All I know is I feel exhausted.. mentally.. emotionally.. I don't think I can manage a long hike – today. If there is somewhere we could just relax for now..?"
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Requiem
Weyrleader S'rei WM M?ta Rider A'nd Harper/Handler Dmitri Weyrbrat Miguel
Posts: 2,861
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Post by Requiem on Jun 16, 2010 6:00:49 GMT -5
He frowned slightly, not really knowing how to respond to the anger he heard behind F'lix's words. A mindmate wasn't an easy thing to lose. Some people died from shock or went insane with dragons, after all, and none ever seemed to be quite right afterwards. If the salamandyrs were even close to having the same sort of bond? But F'lix had to know that, didn't he? Yes. Commenting on it would almost be like lecturing, and F'ur always treated his weyrmate as an equal, a man who was fully capable of making his own decisions and reasoning things out for himself. Stating something like that was entirely too condescending. Besides, rationale and feeling didn't like to line up. He was certain that as things stabilized more F'lix would be fine.
"You are lucky," he agreed, without the smallest trace of modesty. "I know a place, but we'll have to wait until the fog clears more. I won't be able to find it right now." He didn't fight F'lix's hold on him, even if he suspected part of it had to do with the fact that no eye contact was possible in this position; the kit had been hiding his eyes since they'd both knelt here by the flower. F'ur didn't mind so much, though. F'lix seemed able to speak freely this way, at any rate, and what was said answered his question and then some.
His hand moved up to cup the back of the other man's neck, ungloved fingers kneading lightly where it met the shoulders. "I think I'm the luckier of the two of us." F'ur didn't stir as the wind picked up around them from behind him, Ino landing neatly within view of the kitten. The dark blue watched them both placidly for a moment before lowering his neck. "If you're fine with riding Ino?" He should be, but...F'ur really wouldn't blame him if he wasn't. Inocenth wasn't the sweetest of dragons - or the most confidence-inspiring. Even if he'd been nothing short of nice to both Saboth and F'lix since Fort attacked, without any prompting or scolding from His. Well, nice for Inocenth, anyway.
His muscles contracted in a brief squeeze, F'ur pulling back but keeping his hands lightly on F'lix's biceps. "The cave Saboth and Inocenth were using should serve us well enough for now, I should think. Until the sunlight burns away more of the fog. If you want to stay for awhile, we can start setting things up while the fog clears. Sound okay?" The older of the two blueriders rose, hands sliding down to grip F'lix just below the elbows and draw him up as well. He half-turned Inocenth, who still waited patiently. Somewhat. The slow sweep of his tail back and forth betrayed a certain amount of restlessness.
"It's not always this bad in the mornings," F'ur added, a touch of apology to his slight smile as his hands finally fell away from F'lix. His eyes met his weyrmate's unwaveringly. "You have nothing to apologize for either, kit. Don't forget that." The firm words were softened by the arm that drew F'lix gently into his side again. "Fit almost too well there," he added, laughter rippling behind the words. "I've got a kitten shaped groove worn into my side. What do you know?"
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Post by rii on Jun 18, 2010 21:43:12 GMT -5
F'lix emitted a half-snort – a weak version of a laugh at the quick agreement to the statement. His head dipped to briefly rest his forehead against the top of F'ur's shoulder; body and expression relaxing to the fingers working at the tension in his neck. A soft, noncommittal 'mm' was the only response to both the massaging hand and luckier comment. No, he didn't see it's F'ur's way, and the small swell of chest hinted protest. Yet the small details were dismissed as unimportant. He'd justify the statement with noting F'ur was a lucky git if only because he cheated death as often and narrowly as he'd done in the past.
A shadow flickered across his face, and as the cold air stirred with the disturbed snow, F'lix opened his eyes to peer over F'ur's shoulder at the dark dragon. He had no problem with Inocenth. Habits such as skirting around the dragon were long past. "Only if it's alright with him." F'lix quietly voiced while sitting back on his heels. Head still bowed and making a show of shaking off his glove and slipping it back over his pale hand. "Saboth can just—"
Accommodating, The blue cut in while stretching out along the distant ledge. I didn't want to move from the sunlight anyway.
"—stay up there like a lazy oaf and not give me an option." F'lix gave a sharp shake of his head before his chin lifted in response to the touch at his elbows; spurring the younger rider into quickly standing on his own steam. "Yeah, sounds fine." He agreed reflexively, hastily lifting a hand to pass over the corner of his eye and smoothing along scarred features to not look so terribly obvious – an action interrupted by the pulling arm. F'lix quietly grunted, shooting an all too familiar mock glare at his weyrmate. The faint twitch of a smile on his lips removed any inkling of ire to the look.
"Might want to get that seen to," F'lix eyed F'ur's side in contemplation, tilting his hip just enough to nudge the older man – an action doubling as an urging for F'ur to take the lead toward Inocenth. "Can't be good for your well being." Arms folded loosely across his stomach, F'lix followed at F'ur's side – if lagging behind a half-step. The fingers of his left hand still lifting as he spoke... the words themselves tired, edging on monotone. At least his natural body language refused to be silenced. "I didn't want to apologize for getting you in the face with snow anyway."
He knew what had been meant, but found no need to continue on the serious line of topic. Mostly to avoid to feeling teary again and risk babbling on about how lucky he really, really was to have F'ur, and unfair it was that said weyrmate was going out of the way for him. He was safe from this unwanted emotional spiral by.. being spun off in another direction. Stepping to a halt just aside Inocenth, F'lix fingers tightened on his jacket as he peered over at F'ur – waiting for him to guide him. Behaving much like he had never mounted a dragon in his life. A nervous glance at the dark hide before flicking sidelong at the rider. "Sure you brought enough food along for a sevenday?"
Shifting attention away from himself. Could hardly be blamed for it..
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Requiem
Weyrleader S'rei WM M?ta Rider A'nd Harper/Handler Dmitri Weyrbrat Miguel
Posts: 2,861
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Post by Requiem on Jun 20, 2010 5:41:53 GMT -5
"I wouldn't have offered otherwise," the older man responded quietly, with just a hint of wryness. Inocenth wasn't likely to kill or even injure someone he didn't want near him, but scare the piss out of? Yeah. Definitely. Nor were Inocenth's threats anything to take lightly. He would and had followed through when others weren't terribly believing. Really, the warning was only out of respect for his rider's wishes. The male was much like a runner stallion, high-strung and vicious and only responsive to a strong hand. Or, in this case, mind.
He ignored the gesture of the hand, as it was a concealing one. F'ur had never cried in front of F'lix (though, to be fair, he hadn't in turns...and usually it was accompanied by a rage that didn't see much of anything) but he knew that he wouldn't have wanted F'lix to see if he did have a moment of weakness. And if the kit had seen despite his efforts? Not to acknowledge it. So he did him that same courtesy. Just as he let the younger man do as he willed when he seemed to not want to be touched or helped. F'ur was rather more physical than most - even F'lix - knew, but he was always careful about not being too smothering. Perhaps he even took that to an extreme, but F'lix was a very independent person.
"Seems not to have negatively effected my well-being...yet. There's still time, I suppose." A soft snort punctuated F'lix's half-joke. "Shithead." Without any ire. "You'll be paying for that when you least expect it." He reached out to run his hand along the streamlined jaw of Inocenth's head, over the slow throb of pulse behind the hinge of jaw and down the length of the neck as he walked. The blue moved just enough to press himself more firmly against the hand. F'ur mused for a moment on how he surrounded himself - even unwittingly - with beautiful, deadly things. He didn't tame them, at all. But for him they gentled. Which was far more satisfying, really, than breaking something down until it hadn't the will to fight you.
How about we stop with the sappy and get you and the little leech you're so attached to up to the cliff so I can go back to my sunning? F'ur rolled his eyes. Way to ruin the moment. You're very welcome. What's wrong with it, anyway? he questioned, his head coiling around to nudge at F'lix's back. You'd think it would have mastered the whole climb up onto a dragon neck and hold on bit by now. Really, Mine, get him moving before I get offended. I've half a mind to give him reason to be nervous if he's going to be a bundle of nerves. You won't, the man responded, unperturbed. He helped keep me alive long enough for the healers to help. You'll never touch him. The male huffed softly. Put a whole lot of weight on your life, don't you? I've very little use for you, little slip of a man. You're not even worth eating - all bones and lean muscle. Tch.
Shaking his head - partly because Inocenth's eyes were swirling a calm blue with just enough speed to indicate sober contentedness - F'ur mounted Inocenth fluidly and reached down to grasp F'lix's forearm and help him up in front of him. "The whiner here wants to get back to his sunning. Okay, my Lord," he added sarcastically to the dragon. "We await your whim." That's right you do. Inocenth accomodated his passenger by not throwing himself into the air in his usual high energy twists, instead rising steadily to rejoin Saboth, lowering his neck for both riders. F'ur slid down without a pause.
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Post by rii on Jun 20, 2010 12:53:20 GMT -5
Yes, F'lix mused with a lop-sided grin that didn't fade from his expression as quickly as the other smiles did. He knew right and well that F'ur didn't leave any deed unacknowledged or.. unpunished. Not as cut and dry as the words suggested, but F'lix anticipated F'ur to find a means of paying him back for the face-full of snow. F'lix wouldn't have done the act without knowing the possible repercussions. Likely F'ur didn't do anything now because of the tension – the unstable state in which F'lix fluctuated. His weyrmate was being careful with him. As much as F'lix protested being treated as a frailty, perhaps it was for the better at the moment. F'lix would freely admit, in private, that he didn't know what was best for himself at times. Most of the time.
Wanted to grin and bear it. Lie and say everything was fine – if only to ease F'ur's mind; to make the man happy. Familiar, wasn't it. The little circumstances were different, but F'lix had gotten upset with F'ur for hiding things.. even if it turned out F'ur was only doing it to not cause worry. Couldn't as well expect F'ur to be open, only to turn around and bury things himself and put on a smile to dissuade any questioning. Regardless that F'lix didn't quite put on as good of show as the Fortian..
Unable to stop himself, F'lix bristled and tensed as Inocenth's head came around to nudge him. The young rider little more than a rigid board tilting to the light push. It wasn't fear, really, not with Inocenth anyway. F'lix certainly wasn't afraid the blue was going to rip him apart. Rather F'lix concern laid in the dragon's feelings about the whole matter. The Bendenite wouldn't expect another person to do anything for him, and he viewed the dragons in the same way. They were people, individuals, that F'lix wasn't going to treat like pack animals that should bear his weight without complaint. It didn't matter that Inocenth was his weyrmate's dragon, F'lix didn't feel had had any right or even the comfort level to be chummy with the dark dragon.
Returning the grip of forearm, F'lix sat himself on Inocenth's neck and silently debated what to do with his hands. He wasn't given much of a choice, since when Inocenth moved F'lix hands gripped accordingly despite his unease. The younger rider shifted his attention to the vale to try and get a better glimpse of the area. As they landed, F'lix muttered a near inaudible thanks before climbing down and heading over to Saboth with mind to help unpack what was on his own blue.
Saboth lazily turned his neck in around his rider, twisting his head around to view him with his single eye. You tire me out, the teasing hint to the words made F'lix lifted a hand to push at the dragon's jaw. Do I, as I let you stay up here to sun. How terrible of me. Listening to you chase your thoughts down through the rabbit holes tires all of us. Talk too much in head, Lixmine. F'lix scoffed, wryly drawling as he removed a pack from Saboth's side. "Geez, thanks guys."
Most welcome, Lilitu supplied sugary sweet, her dark head peeking out over his collar. Maybe now have peace and quiet. Saboth rumbled at their little demoness, snatching the pack from F'lix's hands and giving it a good toss inside the cave entrance. F'lix smack his flank. "What if something breakable was in there?" Oops? Growling, F'lix went for the second pack only to be shoved away by Saboth's wing. Blasted dragon. "And where did you put my helm anyway?"
A mischievous whirl to Saboth eyes gave away his innocence. The pale blue mantled his wings, lifting the arches just enough to give off the impression of a draconic shrug. Throwing his gloved hands up into the air, F'lix turned on heel and stalked over to the ledge – where he plopped down in a familiar cross-legged position with arms tight across his chest. Fine. He'd just.. watch the sun clear away the fog. "Are you going to tell me more about this place, or are you still being secretive?" Whine whine. Sulk does mine, Lilitu addressed them all, particularly F'ur with a playful dance of words. Need good kick. Right off ledge.
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Requiem
Weyrleader S'rei WM M?ta Rider A'nd Harper/Handler Dmitri Weyrbrat Miguel
Posts: 2,861
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Post by Requiem on Jun 21, 2010 5:03:47 GMT -5
Half-turning toward F'lix and Lilitu, F'ur was busy unburdening his own blue. His dark eyes narrowed for a moment upon his weyrmate, before he went back to loosening the straps in such a way so as not to take all the weight at once. "You say that now. But if I were to kick him off the ledge, he'd go crunch and you with him," F'ur stated lightly, grunting as the bundles shifted, the man catching them and easing them to the ground beside Inocenth. "Was I being secretive as all that? Such a terrible tour guide I've turned out to be." He bent, shouldering the items and despositing them back in the cave mouth.
Turning toward Saboth, F'ur regarded the dragon soberly. "How bout it then, sport? Gonna let me spoil Yours?" The bluerider advanced on the other dragon confidently, though he was more than watchful enough to react to any negative responses. There really wasn't much that threw the ex-Fortian off, or frightened him. (His two more humorously dehabilitating fears were runners and interrogators, though not quite so humorous as all that when you thought about it. Especially interrogators.) Still, Saboth's track record as far as being tolerant of F'ur wasn't the best. He seemed peaceful enough now. To a point. That didn't mean the older man wasn't wary of him, though.
"It's a ring of mountains that seem impassable by foot. There are miles and miles of caverns and tunnels, they say, webbing through the mountains and foothills, but there's no guarantee that you'd ever come out after entering. Or that there's any connection from outside the mountains to within the valley." F'ur had come close enough to touch Saboth, his hand splaying across the male's neck and lingering there. "The air is too thin above the mountains. Dragons cannot cross flying straight. As far as climbing your way up them...the altitude becomes an issue with that. Many say it's impossible to scale any of the peaks here. Nevertheless, someone must have, for the information to be passed on. Or they found a way through the caves. Who knows? At any rate, it's not easy."
His voice had lowered into soft, soothing tones. "Completely secluded. When the fog clears, you'll see that the slopes of the cliffs are forested, and that the trees extend downward a good ways before giving way to tall grasses. Wild runners roam through here. Wild whers, too. It's its own world, closed off from the rest of Pern. A large lake and a smaller stream are in the bowl of the vale. The flowers grow there. You'll want to wear your goggles once the fog clears, though, if you plan on staying outside; the snow glare can blind." Hand stroked lightly down Saboth's neck. "And you, my friend, will need to go in the cave with Inocenth. The snow glare is no better for your eyes than ours."
He turned his head enough to regard F'lix's seated form. "Does that help clear things up any?"
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Post by rii on Jun 21, 2010 10:25:55 GMT -5
Wincing, F'lix lifted a hand and planted it over his collar but it did little to silence his salamandyr. For funnyman, you not get funny. He pressed down harder until she was nearly pinned against his shoulder – where she had squirmed down his shirt. All the while he streamed the impression for her to be quiet; to no avail. Why be quiet? She nipped at his palm through the open jacket collar. No need to brood 'cause of dummie. Tell him wrong, Lilitu does.
F'lix didn't stir from his position, nor send much of a returning comment to his mandyr other than the simple rational that his question had been sharp to begin with – if only spoken to fill an awkward silence and prompt F'ur into speaking. A mistake, it seemed, even though F'ur still humored him with revealing more information about the vale. The younger couldn't help but want to know the little details that were insignificant to others. He wanted to be able to look at the sights and have those thoughts about what was there, this and that, stir in his mind. It would have been more pleasant to listen to if he didn't have a continuous mental hiss of annoyance filling his thoughts. Wanted to ask questions, but.. for the moment at least, F'lix let the topic slide.
Saboth regarded F'ur placidly through drooped, blue eyes. He wouldn't do anything to the man because he knew in the end it would just hurt His (even though he still stood next to the opinion that it would be better if F'ur was never there from the start. Alas, the damage had been done and now the man had become indispensable). As it were, Saboth did nothing to detour F'ur from nearing the remaining pack.
Though as F'ur turned head to glance back, it was well noted that F'lix has risen and was nearly upon the older man and Saboth by the time the question was presented. F'lix reached past F'ur, sliding his glove hand over the quick release knot keeping the burden against beast. "If you want me to help, just say so. I don't know how you want things set up." He eased past F'ur's side, loosening the knot with one hand to take the pack and move toward the cave. "They were just trying to make me lighten up." Which you spoil. Why so serious? Lilitu spat at the older man. "Just wanted to—" Likes stories. Likes listening to you. Know why not, but does. "And I can't get her to shut up." May have been told not to apologize, but his tone didn't care to listen.
Shrugging his free shoulder, F'lix crouched near his thrown pack to ensure it was still bound before letting his eyes sweep over the dark interior. Lilitu, all venom before, peeked out from his collar again to rubbing affectionately against his pulse. Is cold. Build Lilitu fire? "Later." He half-pivoted over one heel to regard F'ur with the unscarred portion of his face. "I didn't think to bring glows. You did, I hope.. ?"
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Requiem
Weyrleader S'rei WM M?ta Rider A'nd Harper/Handler Dmitri Weyrbrat Miguel
Posts: 2,861
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Post by Requiem on Jun 25, 2010 7:38:10 GMT -5
The salamandyr's words were confusing. Funny man? One thing he did pick up on, however, and that was that he had somehow caused another round of brooding. Somehow. F'ur wasn't quite sure how, and it would be false to say that he wasn't getting just a little irritated at the rising sense of inadequacy. The irritation was unlikely to manifest, however, because no doubt F'lix would mistake it as directed at him. Not his fault, at all, but that was simply the way of things by the looks of it. Even trying to step carefully wasn't guaranteeing that he wouldn't cause his weyrmate more trouble.
F'ur blinked as F'lix reached past him to get the package off Saboth, moving towards the cave. "Serious?" He was clearly failing at this salamandyr language, though it would have been stupid to disregard what Lilitu was saying; sometimes it was the only glimpse he got into what was going through the younger bluerider's head. If he could somehow manage to decipher it. The older man was beginning to think that his teasing has been mistaken as something he actually meant. It was really just some of his usual dry humor. F'ur didn't mind talking about the vale at all. In fact, he liked it that F'lix was interested. Adjusting to the higher sensitivity of his weyrmate, however, was proving to be quite a challenge. He wouldn't have guessed that F'lix couldn't tell when he was joking. They'd been together so long...
Moving over to his own packs, he pulled out some of the more basic supplies he'd brought, including the glows. "Really, kit, I was just teasing," he offered quietly. A glance around at the walls, he found a natural shelf that would help cast the glow farther, then placed another basket a little further back into the cave. "The fog will clear in the next half candlemark, and I thought it would be nice to have everything set up before heading out. You won't want to be setting up after spending time in the hot springs," he added lightly. "That said, I can do this myself in half that time. I'm not irritated. Sorry if it came off that way."
Indeed, setting up a utilitarian camp was one of the skills F'ur had developed quite some time ago, and he quite efficiently set about it. A net went up to hold foodstuffs, a hammock on further back near the second of the glowbaskets, with furs piled inside. The pack filled with extra clothes remained packed to prevent any bugs from getting inside. Most weren't a bother, but caves could produce scorpions. (One of the reasons the bedding was off the ground. That and F'ur liked how close you were forced to be, sharing one.) He even set up a makeshift firepit in a depression near the entrance to the cave mouth.
It took just over five minutes, the older of the blueriders describing the way to the hot springs and the landmarks they should see while he set it out. Back in the hills a ways, it was on the other side of the valley, and required traversing a set of glades and caves. But, if his memory served, a half-candlemark's trek should bring them to a glade leading down to a stone basin, where warm water bubbled up from beneath and heated the natural lake that collected there due to rainfall. He glanced over at Lilitu. "Which will warm you up much better than a fire, little spitter, if you care to relax on the edge of it."
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Post by rii on Jun 26, 2010 23:32:30 GMT -5
F'lix blinked up from where he remained crouched over his pack. Golden eyes followed as F'ur walked past, mouth attempting to form into words but emitting no sound. He soon pressed his lips together in a thin line, sending a series of sharp comments toward Lilitu that in turn made the green frill, that shockingly green color catching in the light while she twisted around to hiss unpleasantly. F'lix had the distinct feeling of his ear lobe being threatened – the other lobe still wore a gash from Lilitu's brand of care earlier that morning.
Rising up, F'lix carried his two packs inside and set them down next to F'ur's. At the mention of hot springs, F'lix's brows shot up, along with a chin he didn't realize he had been tucking in toward his chest. The interest came out clear enough on his features, even if F'lix didn't voice it. It would of sounded a little off anyway. Him speaking up about liking the idea of water - a hot spring. He imagined F'ur never took too much notice to his preference to the warmer baths. Water was water, to the Fortian, and seemed to make F'lix twitch irrationally. Hn. Not everyone liked having their head dunked underwater..
Idling near the mouth of the cave, F'lix fidgeted with the front of his riding jacket as F'ur set up camp. He didn't oppose the one-sided construction, hadn't really offered from the start because he and F'ur had very different ideas about where things belonged. Their little weyr case in point of their on going battle of item placement. F'lix did note, however, the familiarity F'ur had with the cave interior. A routine-like series of movements of where he set the items, as if he had already decided on their placement a time past. How many times had F'ur stayed the night here?
F'lix didn't ask, instead shouldering against the wall and listening to F'ur explain the hot springs. Once it appeared that F'ur had finished and was near enough, F'lix reached out to sneak two fingers into the hem of F'ur's pants. He tugged the older rider out to the ledge, angling between the two blue dragons to get a better view of the vale. True to what F'ur had said, the sun was eating away the masking fog. F'lix's hand snaked it's way up underneath the back of F'ur's riding jacket, settling mid-back to simply feel his warmth through the shirt.
For a long, quiet moment F'lix committed the view to memory. Tracing the lines of the mountains, memorizing the colors. "Can we see the springs from here?" He waited a moment for an answer before speaking on in a quiet tone; seemingly a tangent. "I know I'm misunderstanding things. Told you I can't.. think.. " He wrinkled his nose, sticking out his tongue as he had no idea how to describe the feeling. "Kind of like standing on a slippery slope – get a foot hold for a second then I'm slipping back down.. down.. back to what Simper was thinking before he left."
F'lix lifted his free hand, rubbing against his temple as he plowed on just to get it out in the open. "He had it stuck in his head that he was only being a problem, an annoyance by existing. Aliene – the green that he mated with – was angry at him before she left. So.. he believed that she died because he had done something wrong. By the end of that run it finally mounted to the point where he was absolutely convinced all he was doing by staying was causing everyone pain – that it would be better if he was gone.
"I remember looking at that knife. He had a grip enough on my mind that I just started thinking about all that people I've caused trouble for, that it would be better to not exist." Not exactly the conversation he wanted to having while over looking the vale. "That's the path my thoughts keep slipping down toward. This ghost of him, in his last few moments, lingers in my mind." Lightly he shook his head. "It is really soon after his death, but it doesn't matter if I'm here, or back there. I'd rather be here with just you. Don't worry too much about me? I'm just.."
Cue fingers rising to flick at the air. "It'll get better." He slouched against the older rider, wrapping arms about F'ur's waist to illustrate being a burden to the other. "As long as you can tolerate me being a rambling mope." F'lix straightened, only to wrap his arm around F'ur's shoulders. He stood on his tiptoes to better set his chin on one shoulder and peer at F'ur's profile. "And a lazy oaf – of which, do I get to swindle a piggy-back ride out of you?"
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Requiem
Weyrleader S'rei WM M?ta Rider A'nd Harper/Handler Dmitri Weyrbrat Miguel
Posts: 2,861
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Post by Requiem on Jun 28, 2010 5:40:49 GMT -5
Snagged. F'ur slowed his steps, allowing himself to be guided wordlessly out to look over the valley. Maintaining that silence, his eyes moved over the familiar sights - even if that familiarity had faded over the last several turns - taking shape from the coiling mists. A small shifting of weight brought his hip into light contact with F'lix's, his far hand dipping into his pocket as the other played idly with the loose fabric near F'lix's knee. "From here? Not directly...though you might be able to see the shimmer of rising steam along the ridgeline to the northeast side of the vale once the fog clears more. Sometimes you can, sometimes not."
As the kitten began to speak, describing Simper's last moments, F'ur's gaze slid over his face for a lingering moment, though he didn't turn his head. Did nothing to interrupt or distract, apart from his hand sliding up the back of the younger man's thigh in order to curl around it. A presence and nothing more.
He found himself tracing the curves of the stream as it ran down to collect in the lake that in turn extended small feelers out into the cliffs beyond. They'd become rivers when they reemerged on the other side, fed by snowmelt and other small trickles of water. Groundwater. Streams from other vales. His mind wasn't on the water, though. These thoughts were the ones F'lix kept returning to? A wonder he was handling it as well as he was, then, but F'ur didn't elect to comment on that, either. Or the nibbling worry that was getting a touch stronger with each sentence. Still and all, it really only solidified his belief that this was the right course of action. Taking F'lix away from the Weyr. Here, they could just be together, with none of the other stressors, and F'lix could have some time to heal. F'ur could deal with mood swings and insecurities for awhile; F'lix had dealt with more from him in the aftermath of Fort's attack on Selenitas, after all.
The arm that had curled around the younger man's thigh slid up and around his waist as F'lix came to lean fully against him, F'ur's eyes still tracing the contours slowly emerging from the fog. His eyes were uncommonly solemn, the thoughtfulness that usually lay well beneath the surface laid bare. But not, in the end, an unfamiliar expression to his weyrmate, much as F'ur rarely was in a less-than-playful mood; even unbidden, he would sometimes grow quiet, still, and simply desire to keep F'lix close. It was then that he sometimes told his stories, of a past life. Another world, for all intents and purposes. But right now it was not that world that brought on the quietness. Nor the ghosts of that life.
Amusement flickered behind his eyes, his face still turned toward the vale. This time, though, it was because he could feel the kitten's eyes on him. His eyes slid sideways, wrinkling his nose at F'lix before he turned his head to look at the other man directly. His fingers threaded through his hair. "Before I offer to carry you further than you intended..." he commented, with no small amount of amusement, "what are the terms of this piggyback ride?" The laughing lines at the corners of his eyes crinkled as his lips split into a teasing smile. "Cause I'm telling you right now, if you want a ride all the way to the hot springs, I'm no mountain goat. You'll have to get off and walk a few times at the narrower places."
His arm tightened slightly around the other bluerider's waist, and his eyes flicked back out toward the swiftly vanishing fog. "I was hoping you'd like the idea. It's one of my favorite places."
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