Taking a Walk in the Dark (Roivao)

[Aftershock]

Samael took another small step, his hand trailing along the smooth stone walls of the hallway he was carefully traversing. He didn't know what madness had claimed him to put him in the situation he was now in, though he suspected it had something to do with his friend Ruliana putting so much effort into pushing him to try new things and put himself out there... it was Ruliana's talks that pushed him to try painting with Freyr's help, and then take his paintings and pottery and sell them at the last Gather.

Now, the drive to try new things and attempt to be more independent had Samael trying something he had never thought he would do in his life... walk the halls of the Weyr completely on his own. Leaving a confused (and concerned) Freyr and Heimdall behind in his room, Samael had waited until the evening (to make sure the hallways would be as empty as possible), and then ventured carefully out on his own for the first time in his life, lead by nothing but one hand along the wall and one in front of his face to avoid running into anything. He walked very slowly along the pitch-black hallway, each step placed carefully to make sure he wasn't walking into a pit or off a ledge, the toe of his shoe prodding carefully before placing his full weight on the foot.

He had started in well-lit hallways, but eventually he had moved to what his detail-blind (but not light-blind) eyes informed him were little-used side hallways that were bereft of any lighting at all. Suddenly, a sound alerted his sensitive hearing... footsteps. Along with the scrape of... claws? With overheard stories of the vicious Kymans flying through his mind, Samael froze with fear, wondering if this trip all alone would be his last...

[Rowana]

Roisk found the human before him very interesting indeed. It was his instinct to be protective of those who needed it, but Samael seemed to be doing very well on his own. It was curious to see him here though, since few without whers enjoyed wandering the darker tunnels alone and without light. The large bronze wher sidled closer to Samael and nuzzled his leg gentle with his nose. It never hurt to introduce himself, after all.

Roivao came up behind his wher, frowning slightly. He had a vague concept of who Samael was, though he couldn't recall his name. Generally if they weren't a wherhandler, or someone he saw often, Roi had trouble remembering people. It probably came from his habit a few turns ago of not getting close to people, but in the time after the war he had calmed considerably. Spending a lot of time with Piden had helped a great deal in breaking him out of his shell.

Shrugging, Roi followed Roisk to where Samael stood frozen. "Lost? Most people who come this way bring a light," he commented, with a touch of amusement. Of course he didn't have a light, but his night vision had improved a lot over his time as a wherhandler. That and Roisk never left him completely in the dark. "I recommend you scratch Riosk behind his ridges," he added thoughtfully. "He'll like you even more."

[Aftershock]

Samael nearly fell back screaming as Roisk's nose nuzzled against his leg, and the man nearly bit his tongue controlling his reaction, instead twisting around so his back slapped against the wall he was feeling along. Suddenly, a fact about the Kyman's came to his racing mind, and he remembered that the creatures apparently could be chased away if you were more frightening than they were. Realizing it was his only chance of escaping with his life, Samael inhaled deeply, prepared to yell at the creature at the top of his lungs, when suddenly Roivao's voice cut through the darkness, startling Samael to the point where he swallowed his inhalation and began to cough heavily, falling to his knees.

Samael had been concentrating so much on the sound of Roisk's padding feet and scraping claws that he had completely missed the sound of Roivao's footfalls. Finally mostly recovering from his coughing fit, his voice a bit raspy from his abused throat, Samael croaked, "Light would not help someone such as myself see any better, so it's not exactly necessary. But I can still see that it's pitch dark, so you... you must be a wherhandler, right?" His facing turning a bit red from embarrassment due to the case of mistaken identity, he added, "I'm not lost, I've just never been out on my own before... I would scratch your wher, but I cannot see where his head is, though I can hear his breathing. I don't want to poke his eyes or anything, though. I'll put my hand out, perhaps you can ask him to put his head under my fingers in the right location?"

Slowly making his way back to his feet, Samael extended a hand carefully to hover around stomach-level on himself, then suddenly had a thought and said, "Er, unless he can understand what I'm saying himself? I apologize, I haven't had much experience with whers... or wherhandlers."

[Rowana]

Roivao and Roisk winced in unison as Samael cried out. The wher woofed softly and apologetically. He knew he could be scary since he was so big, but he really was nice at heart. Roi was taken aback at first, but relaxed a little when the younger man seemed to get over his fear. Roi mentally slapped himself. He knew very welly that the kyman's had a lot of people on edge and probably should have thought of that before sneaking up on the poor man in the dark.

Roi nodded out of habit, though no one of course could see. "That's right. Roivao at your service." He paused. He thought he recalled a young man who was blind living at the weyr, so this was probably him. Roisk responded to Samael's suggestion by happily putting his head under the man's hand. Roi chuckled. He still felt lucky to have such a sweet creature as he wher partner. "Don't worry, Roisk will be sure you don't harm him. He can understand most things, especially emotions." Roi moved closer to lean against the wall near Samael. "Sorry I don't recall your name," he said apologetically.

[Aftershock]

Samael felt the smooth hide of the wher beneath his fingers as Roisk moved his head under Samael's hovering hand, and began feeling along the head carefully, finding the creature's eye ridges and scratching softly behind them as he had been instructed. As he did, he said to the wher, "Hello... Roisk, was it? It is very nice to meet you, and I apologize if I startled you. I worried you were a Kyman." His face flushing slightly as this most recent embarrassment came to light, he then asked, "Do you mind if I feel you, Roisk? I cannot see, and so I must use my hands if I'm to know what you look like."

To Roivao, Samael replied, "Oh, no need to apologize... I'm a simple weyrfolk, and I would not expect someone as important as a wherhandler to know of me. I am Samael, and it is a pleasure to meet you."

[Rowana]

Roisk woofed happily. He was also pleased to meet Samael. It was always lovely to meet humans who weren't intimidated by his size and claws. Most were nice enough when they got to know him, but some hesitated at first. Relaying acceptance to his bonded, Roisk sat back, and waited patiently. "He says you can feel him," Roivao explained. He paused, then chuckled. "But he warns you that there is a lot of him to feel."

Roi shoot his head adamantly. "I'm no more important than anyone," he objected nervously. He had gotten more used to being a leader, but he still wasn't much for formality. "It's nice to meet you too, Samael." He paused, scratching his head sheepishly. This was the part of conversations he always seemed to falter at. What should they talk about next? "So, um, what brings you down here?" he asked lamely.

[Aftershock]

Samael smiled at the response, and said, "Give me a moment, I get the best image in my mind when I concentrate on what I'm feeling." Reaching out carefully, he found Roisk once more with both hands, and began to lightly run his fingertips across the wher's head, muzzle, neck, chest, upper back, and forelegs. As his fingers traveled slowly across the bronze's body, he whispered, "I've never met an actual wher before... your skin feels like Freyr, my firelizard, and you have headknobs like he does, though your wings are much smaller than a dragon's, and your body shape is very unique. You feel like a very handsome creature."

Completing his circuit of the front half of Roisk, Samael stood back up and stepped back, saying, "Thank you, Roisk, that was very enlightening. You are so like a dragon, yet so different at the same time. It must be great, being bonded to so amazing a creature," he said to Roivao, before adding, "But you are more important. You fight the Kymans, keep us all safe. You're much more important than me... I'm just a normal weyrfolk, and a blind one at that, so I can't even do all the jobs a normal weyrfolk can. You're special, since you bonded to something that can protect normal folks like me."

Moving back slowly to the wall he had left when he first met the wherhandler pair, Samael extended his hand to find the wall once more, then replied, "Why am I out here? Well, it's quite silly, actually... I have a canine named Heimdall, and, as I mentioned, a firelizard named Freyr. They help me get around normally, and keep me out of trouble." His face twisting in a bit of embarrassment, he continued, "I... well, I decided to try to be more independent, and I left them behind in my room to try to walk around by myself for the first time in my life. I... I thought it would be better to do it late, when less people were around that I might bump into, since I don't need the light anyway. I didn't even think about possibly meeting a wherhandler... or a Kyman, which was especially stupid of me," he concluded, his face coloring slightly as he admitted his foolishness.

[Rowana]

Roisk rumbled appreciatively at the compliments and nuzzle Samael when he was done. He was not a vain creature, but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy people telling him nice things. This human could see quite well in his opinion if he could tell all that by touching. Roivao smile softly too. Roisk was really a softy, despite his great size. It was good to see people making friends with him instead of being nervous.

"It is," Roivao agreed with Samael. His thoughts wandered back to the Hatching and his life as a dragonrider before. Was it better than that? He was surprised to find that he wasn't sure. He loved and missed his dragon, but he couldn't imagine being without Roisk either. They had grown much closer over the turns. Coming back to the conversation, Roisk shrugged at Samael's words. "We each do what we can," he admitted.

"Ah, I see," Roi answered when Samael explained his presence. "You want to stand on your own. A noble endeavor. Someday if Heimdall and Freyr need you, you'll be glad of the practice. Faranth willing it will never happen, but we live in uncertain times." Roi pondered for a moment. Maybe a few dragonriders and wherhandlers could take lessons on standing on their own two feet as well. "Oh and you need not worry about Kyman's tonight. You're still close to the Weyr proper and Roisk hasn't sensed any trouble so far. We could keep you company, though, just in case."

[Aftershock]

Samael smiled a bit sadly at Roivao's words, responding, "Yes, we all do what we can... I only wish I was capable of doing more. I often feel so helpless and useless, surrounded by heroic dragonriders and wherhandlers, with no chance of ever becoming one myself. I came here with my sister when she was Searched, and though she Impressed..." Samael's voice faltered at this point for a moment... it was Turns, and a completely different Weyr, since his sister had been slaughtered on the Sands by Wastelanders during the hatching she had Impressed her mutated dragon at, but the memory still hurt when it came to the forefront, and it took a moment for Samael to regain his voice and continue, "Though she Impressed, I never even had the chance due to my eyes. Now, despite this being my home for so long, I sometimes wonder if I belong better in a Hold."

Listening to Roivao continue to speak, Samael nodded and smiled, saying, "Thank you... I do hate being a burden on others because of my disability. I know there is only so much I can do to make myself more independent, but I'm over 20 turns old... I feel I must start doing SOMEthing more. I know I'll never be a dragonrider or a wherhandler, but I just want to try to find something I can perform well despite my eyes... some way I can be useful to others as more than just a drudge... and I can't even do everything a normal drudge can." Sighing deeply, Samael shook his head to clear his mind, and added, "I apologize, I know you have much more important things to concern yourself with than the plight of some blind weyrfolk. I thank you for your offer to walk with me, though... I would feel safer without worrying about Kymans, despite Roisk's assurances. It's easy to forget assurances of safety when you're alone in the darkness, after all..."

[Rowana]

Roivao listened patiently as Samael spoke. He could understand a little of what he was going through, if not all. He'd been quite lost himself when he'd arrived so many turns ago. At the time, he hadn't thought he would ever be of use to anyone, but that quickly changed. Sameal had different problems, but Roi still hoped he could overcome them as well. He suspected there was more about the sister as well, but decided not to ask.

"It's no trouble," Roi assured Samael when he finished speaking. "Roisk would never let me abandoned someone in need. It's not in his nature." Roisk woofed in affirmation, nudging Samael affectionately. He was sure the young man would find his place, as all humans did. He just might need a little help getting there. "If you belonged at a Hold, I think you would have left already," Roi mused absently. "Perhaps you are meant to be here in the end." He paused, frowning to himself, then scratched his chin sheepishly. "I'm sorry, that isn't much help. I wish I could do more."

[Aftershock]

Samael smiled at Roivao's words, hearing the quiet jingle of Roisk's harness as the bronze moved to nudge him with his head, warning him so as to not be caught by surprise by the sudden move. "I thank you for your confidence in me," he replied, then added, "Do not worry about being unable to help... I would not expect a bronzehandler to concern himself overmuch with the plight of a simple blind weyrfolk."

Accepting Roivao's offer of an escort, Samael resumed his movement down the hallway slowly, still trailing his hand along the wall as he progressed carefully step by step. Suddenly, he had a thought, and turned his head slightly to face in the general direction of Roivao's footsteps as he asked, "I just realized... you are not mounted on your wher, yet I can see that it is completely lightless in this section of the tunnels. How can you see?"

[Rowana]

Roivao shrugged and managed a small smile. "I concern myself with the safety of everyone in this weyr every night," he confessed. "In a way, it's a comfort to try and help just one person anyway I can." Roi paused, then winced a little. Maybe he was starting to get soft or Roisk was rubbing off on him too much. He was glad to keep walking for a while and not dwell on his thoughts. He was almost surprised to hear Samael speak again.

"What?" Roi hadn't really been listening, so the question startled him a little. "Oh. I don't, exactly." He frowned while he tried to figure out how to explain it. "It's Roisk. He can see just fine and we've been together so long that sharing sight is almost second nature." That was as close as he could figure it. He'd been working and living with Roisk closely now for many turns and the two had become very close. They even shared some of the same thoughts sometimes.

[Aftershock]

Samael smiled at Roivao's admission, responding, "Well, I am truly honored that you would care about even the smallest, least important member of the Weyr... you're a great person, sir, and I hope others follow your example." Still moving slowly along the wall, adopting a sliding gait to help avoid catching his feet on any possible debris that might be along the floor and causing him to tumble, he added, "I'm sorry if my slowness is frustrating... without Heimdall to direct me away from obstacles on the floor, I find myself nervous about tripping and taking a spill." His words were delivered with a twinge of embarrassment... though he understood it wasn't his fault, he was still a bit overwhelmed to be escorted by someone as important as a bronzehandler.

As Roivao explained sharing his sight with Roisk, however, Samael's mouth dropped open in amazement, and he said, "Wow, really? You can see though your wher's eyes? Freyr can send me still images, but that's the extent of it... I can't even imagine what that would be like, seeing fully through another creature's eyes as if they were my own... it must be amazing!" Though he tried to hide it under the excitement over the news, disappointment also twinged at his voice as evidence of yet another amazing thing he was missing out on from his blindness preventing him from Standing came to light.

[Rowana]

Roivao shifted a little uncomfortable at the praise. He still wasn't used to being an important person and part of him still associated most of his position with Roisk. It was Roisk who was the strong one after all, not to mention big and bronze. Still, it wasn't too bad to be complimented now and then. "Thank you," he managed. "I try my best. Take your time, I don't mind going slow tonight."

Roi smiled at Samael's enthusiasm. "It is fairly amazing," he admitted. He never really thought of it like that. Growing up in a Weyr and being either a rider or a handler most of his life, the concept was second nature to him. A thought occurred to him then. It was a pity the rules didn't allow disabled candidates to Stand. A weyr would make an excellent guide dog if it would have the young man. He caught the disappointed in Samael's response that said he'd seen it too. "You really want to Stand, don't you?" he asked kindly.

[Aftershock]

Samael smiled as Roivao dismissed his concerns about slowing the group down, and continued his careful pace as he listened to the man speak. When he asked about Standing, Samael paused, and a deep sigh escaped him before he replied in a somewhat dreamy tone, "Standing has always been my dream, sir. When my sister..." Another quick catch in his voice at the mention of his deceased sibling, but he moved past it faster this time and continued, "When she was Searched, and fought for me to come with her to the Weyr, I was so excited. I had heard of Stands Impressions, and every clutch I dreamed of me and my sister both Impressing together, of having a dragon to call my own. I always spoke to her about her Candidate training, trying to live vicariously through her as I lived my own simple drudge life."

His tone changing slightly darker, he continued, "Then my sister Impressed... and then she was taken from me." His pause was much longer this time, the memories coming back to him as if they were yesterday, rather than eight long Turns ago... the screams of both humans and dragon hatchlings, the roars of anger and loss, and worst of all his sister's cry for help, cut off in a gurgle as her throat was slit by the Wastelander Z'ves.

Samael stopped walking, supporting himself on the wall as the memories flooded his mind, and a quiet sob wracked his body before he took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to calm himself before he continued with a voice still rough with sadness, "I've attended every dragon Hatching since then, partly in memory of my sister, partly in the faint hope I might still find a dragon who would find me worthy, even in the Stands. It's been eight Turns, though, and I'm beginning to realize it just isn't going to happen." Turning his face in the general direction of Roivao's voice, Samael added with a slight hint of hope in his voice, "I've never thought about whers, though... their hatchings are never well known, at least among the weyrfolk, so the thought never crossed my mind to attend them... that, and I never knew a wherhandler before, so I didn't know where I would go or if I would be allowed to attend..."