Avu
Weyrleader Ce'thian Rider A'emi Handler Sena Harper Matteo Weyrbrat Riaren
Posts: 2,439
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Post by Avu on May 14, 2012 15:18:57 GMT -5
It was one of those days.
Matteo lay flat on his back in the empty bed, eyes closed as he breathed evenly, the sunlight throwing weird blood-red shapes across his eyelids until he reluctantly blinked up at the ceiling and then scowled moodily at it. Don’t bother me when I’m working, he imagined Vikenti saying (wasn’t like it wasn’t a common enough mantra). Do your own work, you infant. Well screw him, Matteo owed Harper Hall a report that he didn’t want to write and he was damn well going to procrastinate until he actually couldn’t anymore.
He wrote better under pressure anyway.
And it wasn’t like Vikenti was the only halfway decent Healer at Benden Hold. He could spare time. Or something. Matteo rolled out of bed, stretching in a cat-like arc until his spine cracked, and yawned as he shuffled over to the trunk to pull loose pants over his hips. As for a shirt…well, he had an undershirt on, that was good enough. Matteo tucked his sketchbook and a flat pencil under his elbow as he left the room, scrubbing his fingers through his hair absently to make sure he wasn’t in danger of being mistaken for a bird’s nest.
Getting to the Infirmary took all of five minutes and exactly no actual thought on Matteo’s part whatsoever; he’d memorized the fastest way there within his first week at Benden, and not for excessive injuries. He waved at one of the other Healers as he stepped into the ever-pristine Infirmary, gaze flicking around the room until he spotted his favorite grumpy asshole frowning at a clipboard like it had mortally offended his soul by the simple crime of existing in the universe.
He obviously hadn’t spotted Matteo yet.
(There’d invariably be more snapping and crazier eyebrows if he had—Matteo liked to think he was slightly more infuriating than a clipboard.)
He crept up beside Vikenti, stepped snug behind him, and hooked his chin over the Healer’s shoulder, looping his free arm over Vikenti’s shoulders to restrain him from any instinctive punching because ow, he wasn’t a masochist, okay, and peered in mock avidity at the clipboard, reading out loud, “‘Shipment of redwort solution confirmed—one seal broken, unusable’—wow, man, this is intense stuff, how come I never get to read thrilling shit like that?”
His grin was entirely past the point of deliberately antagonizing, because clearly, aggravating the guy who fixed him when he broke his face was always a good idea and a perfectly productive way to spend his time. Matteo scanned the rest of the clipboard for a second, and then finally turned to Vikenti, tapping his pencil against the Healer’s bicep absently. “You busy or something? ’Cause I gotta say, clipboard doesn’t look like it needs stitches and there’re other people who’re almost as awesome as you in the room right now. Have you had lunch yet? It is lunchtime, right?”
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Zephyr
Shiny Hoarder
Rider K?ian Handler Kaius Rider Au?st Rider L?am Rider Saphor Rider Olivia Handler Tekivix Rider Vellani[/color
Posts: 515
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Post by Zephyr on May 14, 2012 15:20:24 GMT -5
What the fuck?
Sometimes he seriously thought that he was really the only competent person in this infirmary. The man’s knuckles went white as he curled his fingers around the clipboard, eyes darting up to meet the gaze of one of the apprentices. The boy looked terrified, and for good reason. Vikenti was approaching him like an enraged bull, eyes wide and eyebrows high. “Well, if it’s here, where the hell is it?” The boy didn’t speak right away, just threw a terrified glance around the room, maybe hoping someone would help him. Everyone else continued about their work dutifully…which, probably had less to do with duty and more to do with the fact that they didn’t want to draw the irritated healer’s attention.
“I…I dunno sir.” The apprentice started, once it was clear that he wasn’t going to get any help. “Rhati was the one who received it, but…he couldn’t tell us what happened to it…” His voice went low at the end, but Vikenti didn’t have any problems hearing. He looked like he wanted to hit the apprentice over the head with the clipboard in his hand. “How can someone fucking lose an entire shipment of redwort?” The apprentice didn’t have an answer for him. He just stuttered guiltily and winced whenever the man so much as twitched in his direction.
There was a lot of twitching, okay?
At length, Vikenti pulled away from the boy. He knew whatever had happened hadn’t been his fault, but he couldn’t be held responsible for his actions if he had to spend any more time around him. “Just find it, okay?” There was an impressive amount of vitriol in his voice, but at least it wasn’t edging on flat out murder anymore. The apprentice nodded quickly and scrambled off, but not before the healer's head turned to look over his clipboard again, as if reading the goddamn words for the fiftieth time would make the missing supplies suddenly appear. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, dangerously close to uttering a groan of frustration when there was suddenly someone behind him.
Oh fuck.
He actually did groan then, realizing that the other man had him pretty much restrained. Though, flailing seemed like an appropriate reaction to his current situation. He wondered how long Matteo could hold on if Vikenti just flat out flailed…not matter how crazy that might make him look. Then again, he was rarely concerned about his lack of actually looking sane, all things considered. “What the hell do you want?” He asked in a low tone, trying to keep from flying around to face the other man. He might have actually ended up with a fist in his face or something.
“Yes I’m fucking busy!” He growled, pulling away from the man and whipping around, waving the clipboard at him in what was probably supposed to be a threatening gesture, but who knew with him? “Someone managed to lose an entire shipment of redwort and I need to find it so that we can stock up the supply closet and what? Lunch?" and he eyed the man like he couldn’t quite believe what he was saying, eyes bulging dangerously. “I can’t think about something stupid like lunch right now. I’m working!” He hissed, noting the paper and pencil he was holding for the first time. “And what is that?” There was a lacing of wary mania in his stance now and he stepped away. “Hell no.” He said emphatically. In his experience, whenever Matteo had drawing supplies and tried to pull him away from work it meant he wanted Vikenti to sit still long enough to model for him.
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Avu
Weyrleader Ce'thian Rider A'emi Handler Sena Harper Matteo Weyrbrat Riaren
Posts: 2,439
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Post by Avu on May 14, 2012 15:22:43 GMT -5
Matteo was pretty sure that his eyebrow actually couldn’t get much higher than it was, even if the corner of his mouth was still twitching in a spastic attempt to control his amusement as Vikenti whirled on him, flailing his clipboard around. Unperturbed by the rapidly increasing levels of bitchery, Matteo cheerfully ignored exactly all of what Vikenti was saying in favor of catching him by the wrists—and getting his knuckles smacked by the clipboard in the process, ow, since he didn’t exactly have a lot of room for maneuvering unless he wanted to just drop his sketchbook—and crooning, “Relax, c’mon, breathe. I hear oxygen intake is kind of essential sometimes, am I wrong?”
He threw a glance around at the other Healers—most of whom were studiously focused on not watching them; Matteo suspected this was a defense mechanism to avoid catching Vikenti’s attention in any form, which was a little bit offensive—like he wasn’t awesome at distracting Vikenti.
“What’s what?” he parroted innocently, still not letting go of Vikenti’s wrist and taking a coaxing step backwards to pull the Healer with him towards the door. “You need to eat, c’mon. We’re just going to eat, okay? Food. You put it in your mouth, chew, and swallow. I hear it’s kinda like breathing in that you’ve gotta do it to live. Fifteen minutes, man, you can spare fifteen minutes of terrorizing people. They can find the redwort on their own, and if they can’t you can rip ’em a new one when you get back, but it’s gonna be easier if you’ve got energy in you, yeah?”
He smiled winningly, ignoring the glare he was getting from one of the nearer Healers that could actually hear the low, mindless rambling he was spewing as he kept pulling at Vikenti towards the door. Matteo did throw a quick glance behind just in case—more to gauge how much distance he was working with, here, than anything else; didn’t want to run into the doorframe and crack his spine or something; Vikenti would probably turn Healer on his ass and if he was in the Infirmary it would make escape that much harder.
No thanks, he’d just be observant.
“Don’t make me eat alone,” Matteo added, brow furrowing and lips pursing in an expression that wasn’t, you know, explicitly a pleading expression because he didn’t do that shit. “There’s this crazy chick who thinks I’m gonna marry her or something just ’cause I hit on her once, I can’t deal with that, man. She didn’t even put out. And she’s so boring, man, just. Please. Eat lunch with me. The Infirmary doesn’t need you right now.” The I do wasn’t voiced, but it was heavily implied; never let it be said that Matteo was anything less than completely content to be a manipulative prick if need be. [/blockquote]
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Zephyr
Shiny Hoarder
Rider K?ian Handler Kaius Rider Au?st Rider L?am Rider Saphor Rider Olivia Handler Tekivix Rider Vellani[/color
Posts: 515
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Post by Zephyr on May 14, 2012 15:25:47 GMT -5
Vikenti had a moment of intense satisfaction when his clipboard connected with the other man’s knuckles. He had absolutely no qualms resorting to violence to get his way, especially with Matteo, and even if the injury had been accidental, it still amounted to the same think in the long run.
Which, unfortunately at the moment, did not result in the other man letting him go. Vikenti had to keep himself from wrenching backwards out of the other man’s grasp, which would very likely result in the both of them going tumbling backwards. And sure, there was a big part of him that was childishly geleeful at the thought of Matteo getting hurt once again at his hands, even if he was going to go down with him…but the pair of them were already attracting enough attention as it was.
Vikenti had worked around these people long enough to know when they were actually trying not to look at him for some reason…and around him, there were a lot of reasons to look. Vikenti flailed more on a daily basis than really should have been allowed. Now though, there was no flailing. There was just Matteo, dragging him out of the infirmary in a way that suggested he’d had a lot of practice at this, and really, he had. If Vikenti could have made the place his permanent home, he probably would try.
“I know how to fucking eat!” he hissed in a voice that said he wasn’t at all pleased with the man’s condescending tone. “I just really don’t have time for this.” His voice was reduced to a low, annoyed whine that pulled from his chest. He stubbornly hung onto the clipboard like it was the most important thing in the world at the moment as he considered the kid’s words. He did like ripping the infirmary staff open for their idiocy.
He’d been glaring at a particularly nosy apprentice, promising the kid an imminent and painful death if he didn’t avert his gaze right this second when Matteo continued on. Vikenti was convinced that most of the time he just rambled just to hear himself talk. Which would be fine with that, ordinarily…after all, he was used to most of the shit the other man spewed…at great length. Still, he never got used to him talking about his fucking conquests and Vikenti’s head shot around, hoping that Matteo wouldn’t notice the slight hitch in his breath and the widening of his eyes over the way he was trying to lure him out of the room. He got over it quickly, though, again…he’d had a lot of practice hearing Matteo talk about all the women he screwed…when the entire time he’d wished that…not that it mattered what he’d wished.
He rarely ever got what he wanted. And this wouldn’t be any different.
He wiped the expression off of his face into a carefully schooled mask of righteous indignation, finally deigning to drop his clipboard on a nearby cart and finally pulling himself out of the other man’s grasp. “Fine.” He growled gruffly, turning to give a meaningful glare to all the infirmary staff before turning and brushing past Matteo. “You aren’t fucking drawing me though, asshole.”
Because anger was always a good front for anything else.
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Avu
Weyrleader Ce'thian Rider A'emi Handler Sena Harper Matteo Weyrbrat Riaren
Posts: 2,439
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Post by Avu on May 14, 2012 15:27:17 GMT -5
Vikenti, Matteo decided, whined worse than most nine-year-old kids he’d worked with, and that was saying something, since the nine-year-old kids he’d worked with were invariably apprentices who’d just finished their first year at Harper Hall and were self-entitled brats for it.
But still, grudging agreement was still agreement, and Matteo let go of Vikenti obligingly to beam at him, promptly slinging one arm over the Healer’s shoulders in a companionable squeeze and discreetly tucking his sketchbook away from him under his elbow. Fine, he could deal with not drawing him (for now; all promises were off the minute Vikenti’s shift at the Infirmary officially ended) as long as he ate like a normal person instead of rotting away steadily in the Infirmary all day in increasing levels of starvation.
“You’re awesome,” he declared cheerfully, slanting a quirked grin at the Healer, “You know when you eat it terrifies the other Healers even more, right? It’s like you’re reminding them that you’re not some grumpy immortal asshole that lurks in the closet and you’re actually a person, which means you’re infinitely more capable of mattering. Not to mention when you leave, they don’t know when you’re gonna come back and kick their asses halfway to Fort.”
Which, hey, made sense, right?
People were much more paranoid left on their own than they were with constant supervision.
Matteo dropped his arm from around Vikenti’s shoulders as they stepped into the dining hall, automatically scanning in wary suspicion for any pretty girls hell-bent on marriage before sex. There were none (at least, none that had made it clear to him that marriage was a must), which was a definite good sign; Matteo relaxed visibly as he picked his way towards the kitchens, beckoning Vikenti after him with a total sureness that the Healer would follow him; it was below even Vikenti to turn tail and run when he was all the way in the Dining Hall.
“So c’mon,” he threw over his shoulder, ducking neatly around a Drudge to help himself to a peek of what was cooking on the stove, “Healers have all the best gossip, right? I hear it’s all hookups and breakups in there, what’s the news with that apprentice—brown hair, gray eyes, ‘bout five-six? You yell at her slightly less than the other ones,” Matteo added, raising an eyebrow at Vikenti—he’d never seen his friend actually noticing people based on appearance (whether or not they were bleeding didn’t count), so hey, maybe level of bitching would boot his memory some. Or, you know, it could mean something.
Or maybe not, since it was Vikenti, but hey, there was a first time for everything.
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Zephyr
Shiny Hoarder
Rider K?ian Handler Kaius Rider Au?st Rider L?am Rider Saphor Rider Olivia Handler Tekivix Rider Vellani[/color
Posts: 515
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Post by Zephyr on May 14, 2012 15:28:20 GMT -5
Matteo's arm over his shoulder only brought a grunt from the healer's chest. Vikenti looked appropriately grumpy and approachable all the way to the dining hall, his brows brought together, eyes narrowed, eyebrows twitching. It was almost like he was daring anyone to say a word to him at the moment. Even with Matteo right there, Vikenti wasn't opposed to decking someone right in the face. At this point, even a compliment was likely to earn a punch, or...at the very least, a sharp glare or word.
But, Matteo was still talking, and the healer was only half paying attention to the shit his friend was spewing. It took him a second to realize that nothing of what he said was actually making sense, and he turned his head to watch the man talk , eyes bulging slightly. "What? I don't even know what you're talking about anymore. I think you should stick around after lunch, get that checked out. You've got to have some disease that makes you unable to shut the fuck up even after you've stopped making sense."
What he didn't seem to realize was constant paranoia didn't make for the best workers, but oh well.
Vikenti stopped dead when they made it to the dining hall. He gazed around the room too, but for a different reason. Every time he entered a room, he looked to make sure that there was no one obviously annoying around. He might not care about beating people up who annoy him too badly, but it isn't like he actually looks for situations where beatings are imminent and walk straight into them.
He always tried to avoid conflict as much as possible.
He was just really, really fucking bad at it.
The healer was tempted to go back to the infirmary. This had been a really bad idea. He had so much work to do that he couldn't just be pulled away from it for just any stupid reason. Eating had never been a priority to him. He'd just kinda conditioned himself not to notice when he was hungry. He could probably go for days without realizing that he was hungry...so he got a little irritated when he was told to stop working to eat...because he just didn't see it as all that important.
After all, he was actually better at bitching on an empty stomach, thanks.
Still, he'd always had a hard time saying no to Matteo. So, with an appropriately irritated look, the healer followed the harper into the kitchen. He was back to ignoring what Matteo said in favor of peering speculatively at the food as they passed. He was trying to figure out what some grey stuff was...seriously, food shouldn't be grey...when he realized that Matteo was still talking. Blinking, he realized that he should at least pretend like he'd been listening the other man and made a grunt that clearly meant, Go on, I heard what you said completely and continued to gaze at the food.
Until of course, he realized that Matteo was actually waiting for a response from him. Vikenti shifted his gaze from the food long enough to lift one eyebrow. "What? Are you talking about Neyaria?" Not like Matteo would know her by name. Even if he had slept with her...which, let's be honest, was entirely possible, he wouldn't know her name. The expression wiped from his face when he realized what the harper seemed to be implying and he blushed a little, the color staining the tips of his ears.. "Fuck! No!" He said quickly, narrowing his wide eyes into thin slits. "I yell at her less because she's one of the few apprentices we have that isn't completely incompetent. She's going to make a good healer one day." He said with a shrug, going back to look at the food.
Vikenti didn't give compliments lightly, and Neyaria would probably never hear those words come from him. But that just meant that it actually meant something and wasn't all hot air.
"Even if I did like someone." Vikenti said absently, poking at a questionable bit of bread. "I wouldn't know what to do with it. I hardly have your experience."
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Avu
Weyrleader Ce'thian Rider A'emi Handler Sena Harper Matteo Weyrbrat Riaren
Posts: 2,439
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Post by Avu on May 14, 2012 15:30:28 GMT -5
Matteo was pretty good, if he was allowed to pride himself on it, with selective listening. Which meant that he basically didn’t even register Vikenti’s bitching, let alone respond to it; instead he just smiled urbanely at him as he snatched a plate and started helping himself to the food, twirling a fork between his fingers absentmindedly and then shooting Vikenti a wide, suggestive smile. “Neyaria,” he said, drawing out the name into its constituent syllables, a sly quirk to his grin, “Really? She’s pretty and competent? You should totally—”
He cut himself off for propriety’s sake, although the waggle of his eyebrows and the leer pretty much covered it all. Nudging up against Vikenti on the way out of the kitchen, Matteo raised one eyebrow at the Healer curiously at his phrasing. If he liked somebody? Vikenti didn’t usually go for the whole hypothetical situation thing, unless Matteo had managed to tune out at all the wrong moments, and that?
That was as good as admission.
“I know this might sound weird,” Matteo said, dryly, “But once upon a time in a faraway land, I too had no experience.” He waved one hand before them to indicate the distance of time and space that lay between them and his inexperienced past. “But I mean, c’mon, first time for everything, right? It’s not hard, most people aren’t nearly as complex as you are, you’ve already pretty much ruined me for other people—they’re all boring and not abusive.” His grin was genuine even if the statement was nothing short of a cheeky quip, Matteo setting his plate down on a table and hooking a chair with his foot to plop down into.
“Just buy her flowers or something,” he added, shrugging, and twirled a dark cut of meat on his fork thoughtfully. “I mean, can’t go wrong with roses. Who’s it, anyway?”
The question was a little abrupt, but it was where Matteo had been angling the entire time—not going to lie, the idea that Vikenti maybe liked somebody and didn’t feel the need to tell him before other than that random little not-quite-hint was just—not hurtful, really, since it was Vikenti and Vikenti would keep it to himself forever because liking someone would make him all vulnerable or whatever—but sort of annoying. Wasn’t he supposed to be all observant and notice when his best friend actually started liking somebody?
He slouched a little, frowning at the meat on his fork, and then flicked his gaze back at Vikenti. “Are you sure it’s not Ney—whatever her name was?” [/blockquote]
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Zephyr
Shiny Hoarder
Rider K?ian Handler Kaius Rider Au?st Rider L?am Rider Saphor Rider Olivia Handler Tekivix Rider Vellani[/color
Posts: 515
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Post by Zephyr on May 14, 2012 15:31:19 GMT -5
After prodding some other item of food that didn't look quite appetizing, the healer settled on something that looked the most like meat and some other things that actually looked like they belonged on a dinner plate and followed Matteo out of the kitchen, ready to shoot the man a glare if he should continue much longer on that train of thought. The eyebrow waggle and leer only got an eye roll. Of course that would be Matteo's way of dealing with a pretty girl. That was the only way to deal with a pretty girl when it came to that man.
Of course Vikenti was unaware of the massive can of worms he'd just opened. Though, to be honest, he probably should have. You don't just admit to actual feelings around someone like that...even if he didn't actually admit to anything.
Just to make that clear.
"You sound like my grandpa." Vikenti drawled irritatedly, plopping down in a chair hunched over his meal like he was far less likely to draw attention this way, and he probably was. Unfortunately, he still had Matteo's attention. "Wow." He said, spearing a vegetable and looking at his friend with a distinctly unimpressed look. "That's real sweet of you. I didn't think I'd made that much of an impression on you."
He returned to glaring at his food, poking and prodding it around on his plate while he listened to Matteo talk. At this point, he was staring very intently at his plate. He could feel the heat in his face as he blushed and decided it would be a very good idea not to look at Matteo at the moment. "I don't think that they would appreciate roses all that much..." He tried to make his voice even, but didn't know if he was succeeding.
His eyes widened when Matteo asked him who it was and his fork slipped, sliding across his plate with an unpleasant screech. He pulled the fork away in a hurry, eyes still stubbornly on his plate. "I'm not..." He started in a grumpy voice that he hoped had no whine in it whatsoever...until Matteo spoke again. Narrowing his eyes, he finally looked at the other man. "Would you forget about her? It isn't her. It's unprofessional to fraternize with anyone you work with, let alone an apprentice!" His bitching was coming out in an endless stream, but he was still blushing a little.
Hey, bitching helped.
All he could hope for now was that Matteo would forget about wanting to know who it was Vikenti liked...selectively not see all the subtle and not-so-subtle cues that the conversation was making him feel awkward an uncomfortable and weird, and the fact that his bitching had taken on a new intensity due to his nervousness.
He never got what he wanted though.
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Avu
Weyrleader Ce'thian Rider A'emi Handler Sena Harper Matteo Weyrbrat Riaren
Posts: 2,439
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Post by Avu on May 14, 2012 15:33:32 GMT -5
It was probably best, Matteo decided, if he just let the grandpa comment go for the sake of his own sanity.
It wasn’t a hard choice—he was a Harper for a reason, and even with the specialty in dance and arts instead of music and eavesdropping or whatever the fancy word for it was (diplomacy probably, but as far as Matteo cared that was just a fancy way of saying ‘sucking up’), he was good at picking up on nuances. He was especially good when it came to Vikenti—ten plus years of friendship would do that. “So there is someone,” he teased, unable to help himself; teasing Vikenti was way more appealing than the food on his plate, in any case. “Not Neyaria, fine, but there’s someone.”
He paused, before he asked, a little more gingerly, “Not a ‘she’?”
The use of the gender-neutral ‘they’ was…well, it was weird.
Matteo wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it, honestly. On the assumption that the ‘they’ was intentional—or a Freudian slip, who knew; he could work with either—then it was a guy, since, to his knowledge, they didn’t exactly have a wide array of hermaphrodites running around Benden Hold being attractive and seducing grumpy Healers. And he was fine with that and all, but it was just.
He hadn’t even known Vikenti swung that way.
Again, ten plus years, but he hadn’t known; he hadn’t even thought of it.
What did that make all the times he’d casually leaned into his space and thrown an arm around his shoulders?
All the times he’d crawled into bed with Vikenti and spooned up behind him, stripped to bare skin and boxers? He’d never thought anything of it—a habit that carried over from childhood, falling asleep to the scent of antiseptic and shampoo.
Matteo took a bite of his food for something to do, ignoring the skitter of something very much like ice curling in the pit of his stomach. He chewed deliberately, swallowed, and then tilted his head at Vikenti, quirking his mouth to one side in a critical, mocking consideration. “I hope you know that if you want me to give you the safe sex talk, you’re gonna have to tell me who to give the other half to,” he said lightly, and set his fork down, rearranged his limbs into the chair, and then leaned towards Vikenti, coaxing, “C’mon, man, you’ve gotta tell me. It’s my business if I’ve gotta move out of your room so people don’t think we’re together, right?”
And that got pretty much right down to the root of it; it had always been the two of them against the world, sometimes with Elorein and sometimes not, but Vikenti’d always let Matteo into his bed and he wasn’t actually sure he knew how to get to sleep without using the guy as an oversized personal teddy bear that sometimes snored and got up way too damn early in the mornings.
But hey—if he was serious about someone, Matteo was totally not down with a threesome bedding arrangement.
Especially with another guy. [/blockquote]
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Zephyr
Shiny Hoarder
Rider K?ian Handler Kaius Rider Au?st Rider L?am Rider Saphor Rider Olivia Handler Tekivix Rider Vellani[/color
Posts: 515
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Post by Zephyr on May 14, 2012 15:35:09 GMT -5
The healer was exceedingly uncomfortable with the way this conversation was headed. After the epic bitching that came along with announcing that the person he had a massive crush on was not the pretty (and Vikenti would not deny that she was beautiful) apprentice, he had turned his head away, hoping that he wasn't fiercely blushing and that if he was, Matteo couldn't see. He tended not to talk about stupid things like feelings and emotions all that much.
It left him feeling exposed and vulnerable; two things Vikenti couldn't stand feeling.
The use of the word they had been intentional. He didn't exactly feel like lying to Matteo, because the identity of his crush would come out sooner or later, and he didn't want the man to feel like the healer had been trying to deceive him. He kinda thought that the harper wouldn't think about the use of pronouns too much.
Unfortunately, that's exactly what he stuck on.
Vikenti would have choked if his stomach was twisting into knots and he'd actually put some food in his mouth. As it was, his eyes widened, and he actually sputtered on his own air. He gathered his composure before Matteo was finished with his mini freakout or whatever he was having and griped up irritably without so much as looking at the man. "It doesn't matter." He said gruffly, a hint of dismissal in his voice. Not that Matteo would actually get the hint. He rarely did.
"I'm not telling you." He said stubbornly, still not looking at him. He really, really, really didn't want to be having this conversation. Maybe the conversation would be better if it weren't for the fact that he had no idea how Matteo would receive the news. You don't just go up to your best friend of ten years and tell them...I think I'm kinda in love with you...that was just...all kinds of unmanly. Not that spooning and cuddling and being unnaturally handsy was particularly manly in the first place, but still. Matteo was straight. Vikenti had never even got an inkling that the man wanted anything to do with guys.
So having a guy come onto like that wasn't cool. And it made the healer's situation worse.
Finally, his gaze shot to the harper, eyes narrowed in angry indignation. "You do not have to fucking move out." He realized that this was probably a bit harsh and softened his words somewhat, letting the nagging feelings of insecurity back in. "If people haven't thought we're together by now, then they aren't going to. Anyway, what does it matter what people think? Still..." He said, looking back to his plate and pushing around his food. "I'm not going to tell you who it is. It doesn't matter. Nothing's going to happen anyway."
Was he pouting? No, but he was dangerously close to it. Probably as close as Vikenti was going to get.
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Avu
Weyrleader Ce'thian Rider A'emi Handler Sena Harper Matteo Weyrbrat Riaren
Posts: 2,439
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Post by Avu on May 14, 2012 15:43:43 GMT -5
“Well, fine, I won’t,” Matteo huffed, only a little pouty but mostly just grateful because the idea of trying to gather all his belongings, which had gotten pretty much well and truly integrated with Vikenti’s within a week of their moving in, to drag them to a room he’d never actually set foot in, did not strike him as particularly appealing. He slanted a curious grin at the Healer. “C’mon, stop being such a fucking martyr, man, you don’t know nothing’s going to happen. I bet you haven’t even tried anything yet, are you pouting at me?”
He squinted in disbelief at Vikenti, mouth twitching spastically as he manfully restrained himself from giggling at the Healer. Because, okay, Vikenti did the whole sad-face puppy-eyes thing way more than he did, but it never failed to amuse him because it was just so not dignified. Way to destroy the grumpy untouchable stereotype, seriously; Matteo had his doubts about the observational skills of most Healers if they could be faced with that and they were still scared of Vikenti.
Like, really.
How was that even possible?
“Oh, snap—they’re not, like, married or something, are they?” The possibility was sort of late, he knew—people got married early at Holds, and Matteo still hadn’t quite come to terms with it yet. Nobody really got married at Harper Hall. No time to think about it. “Because that would be totally shitty. Sorry. But you would be the one to have a crush on a married…guy…wouldn’t you?” He couldn’t quite help the barest hesitation before the guess; there was still something awkwardly unpleasant he was trying to ignore curling in his stomach, but—well, hey, Vikenti was his best friend.
He was supposed to be all supportive.
He could do that.
Even if, you know, that meant using Elorein as an impromptu therapist the minute she got back from wherever she’d gone this time—there were Mindhealers or whatever, but Vikenti was so blatantly his primary when it came to Healing that Matteo didn’t figure he could get away with just popping into some random Mindhealer’s office and blurting out, Hey, can I discuss my issues with you in complete anonymity despite the fact that my best friend is also a qualified Healer and would be the one I’d be talking to if it weren’t about him?
Yep. Subtlety right there.
“I still like the roses idea,” he muttered, distracted, jabbing his fork at the food on his plate. “It was genius.” [/blockquote]
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Zephyr
Shiny Hoarder
Rider K?ian Handler Kaius Rider Au?st Rider L?am Rider Saphor Rider Olivia Handler Tekivix Rider Vellani[/color
Posts: 515
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Post by Zephyr on May 14, 2012 15:44:52 GMT -5
" I'm not fucking pouting!" He growled, rounding on Matteo. He might have been close to pouting, but close wasn't actual pouting, and his eyes were bulging as he defended himself to the other man...not like it would actually help any. Matteo had a good way of actually not seeing or not hearing things he didn't want to. Which made having a serious conversation with him difficult if it wasn't something he wanted to hear. "And I'm sure not being a martyr." He started, softer, eyes spearing the other man. " If I tell this person..." Still not using pronouns "...what I think about them, I'm going to lose something important to me."
He visibly twitched as Matteo kept on talking. Having him keep guessing, no matter how wrong he might have been, just felt like he was getting progressively closer to the truth; the truth that he wasn't quite ready to reveal. As he kept talking and talking, however...he felt like he was getting pushed into a corner.
What the fuck was he supposed to do with this?
"They aren't married!" He snapped at Matteo, realizing that his goddamn hand was shaking and he dropped his fork with a clatter. He also realized that he'd revealed far more than he wanted to anyway, and the fact that Matteo had pinpointed on the that it was a guy was not making this any better. "Why do you even want to talk about this?" He asked, his throat suddenly suspiciously dry. Nothing good can come out of this. He wanted to get up and retreat back to the infirmary, but he knew that unless this conversation ran its course, there was no way Matteo was just going to drop it.
"Roses." He said with a small smile, looking back at his plate. It was like something in him had broken, and he was just staring at his plate numbly, that little smile on his face. "Somehow, I don't think roses are quite their thing."
The smile disappeared, but he didn't look up. his voice edged back to grumpy. "I can't tell them...and I can't tell you. Even...if I want to." Well, he hadn't exactly meant to say that out loud, but it isn't like he could take it back.
He should get up. He should leave well enough alone before Matteo realized how truly insane he was and decided that he didn't want to have anything to do with him after this, but he couldn't quite do any of the things he wanted to do, and that included getting up and leaving. Would it really be so bad to confess his feelings to Matteo...just get it all out there? Even if he was straight...they could work through this.
Or Matteo would just be so freaked out that he left Vikenti's life forever. That was not something he'd ever want. He didn't know how to do any of this without the other man...he couldn't imagine his life without him.
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Avu
Weyrleader Ce'thian Rider A'emi Handler Sena Harper Matteo Weyrbrat Riaren
Posts: 2,439
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Post by Avu on May 14, 2012 15:47:46 GMT -5
“You don’t know that,” Matteo repeated stubbornly, eyebrows knitting together in determination as he met Vikenti’s scowl steadfastly. “You’re just guessing and that’s not how this shit works. C’mon, you’re totally a catch. Anybody’d be damn lucky to get you.” His gaze dropped to the fork that clattered to Vikenti’s plate, something uncertain flashing in the scrunch of his eyebrows, before he reached over to stop the fork spinning on the edge of the plate, watching Vikenti carefully. He shrugged wearily at the question, spearing another cube of meat on his own fork. He just—wasn’t seeing why this was so complicated. Vikenti was actually getting flustered over it.
Not even just embarrassed, but genuinely upset.
“You’re my best friend,” he said unsteadily, and shrugged one shoulder again. “I’ve never seen you interested in anybody before. I want you to be. If it makes you happy, I mean. Figure if you like ’em, they’ve gotta be something special.”
His mouth flattened into a line as Vikenti continued, though, Matteo setting down his own fork with careful deliberation. “If you wanted to tell me,” he repeated, hurt edging into his tone, “Then you could. I’m not going to gossip about you. I could help or something. I don’t—it’s not like I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut, and I’m not judging, okay? Yeah, I didn’t know you liked guys, but it’s not—it’s not a problem.” He scowled defiantly, and then added, because obviously letting go just wasn’t an option, “And if he doesn’t like roses, get him stargazers. Everybody likes stargazers.”
Which wasn’t actually totally true, Matteo was sure somewhere in the world there was an asshole who didn’t like flowers, period, but that said, he probably had allergies, and Vikenti was too good a Healer to hand a flower to someone allergic to pollen or something, so. It was a moot point and Matteo’s idea was totally legitimate. Seriously, what was the worst that could happen? Nobody could actually be enough of a bastard to get flowers handed to them and respond to it by running away screaming or something.
“I mean, fine, don’t tell me,” he sighed, scowling at the table a little bit, “But at least tell him, shouldn’t you be letting him decide whether or not he wants you? Do I dare disturb the universe, Vikenti, if you don’t it’s gonna be worse.” [/blockquote]
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Zephyr
Shiny Hoarder
Rider K?ian Handler Kaius Rider Au?st Rider L?am Rider Saphor Rider Olivia Handler Tekivix Rider Vellani[/color
Posts: 515
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Post by Zephyr on May 14, 2012 15:49:24 GMT -5
" Isn't it better to keep things the way they are, even if it hurts...if it's got the potential of ruining something that's even more important to you?" He honestly didn't how important it was to him to be more than friends with Matteo. Sure, he wanted it. He knew it had the potential to be something amazing...maybe even better than their friendship.
But...it wasn't like things were bad now. They were still together almost constantly. Matteo still crawled into bed with him. Vikenti wasn't sure if he could even sleep alone at this point...he was so used to that warmth behind him.
He wasn't sure if he wanted to try even.
That's what made this suck so much. If he gauged this wrong; if Matteo was just in no way interested in a romantic relationship with him, it could ruin what took ten years to build...that easy friendship...and it was easy, like breathing. And that implicit trust...the trust that he was slowly but surely breaking down by withholding this from Matteo. What would it do to the trust if he actually told him?
He managed to look at him again, brows furrowed into something vaguely irritated. Vikenti was nothing but damn good at hiding how he was really feeling...sometimes. Now he was trying to read something in the man's gaze, in his tone. "They are special." He said, his voice a low growl. It was almost like he was talking to himself, watching the man carefully.
It was odd. His stomach felt like it was doing flips. He knew in that moment what was going to happen before he'd even decided what to do.
He was going to tell him.
Vikenti suddenly couldn't breathe. " I do...I'm going to tell you." He said slowly, gaze shifting, the food on his plate suddenly looking terribly unappetizing. It almost made him sick to look at it. The healer was breathing shallowly, almost feeling numb. "I don't...I don't like guys." He said, barely listening to what Matteo was saying through a thin veil of haze. He was almost unable to really process it all and were his fingers supposed to feel cold?
The fall out was going to suck. And yet, he couldn't keep himself from speaking.
" Fine." His voice was low, more determined than he really felt. "You want to know?" He was still numb when he met the harper's gaze, eyes narrowed. "You want me to tell him? I will."
There might have been a slight pause as he swallowed something weak in the back of his voice. He hoped it wasn't perceivable though. "It's you, you oblivious asshole." He growled, voice lifting above the lunchtime chatter of the dining hall. "I like you. I want to be more than friends. I know you probably don't want to though...go there with me, ever. But...I just can't..." Another growl, he was frustrated that words didn't seem to be coming out right. "I can't help how I feel..." How you make me feel.
Then he moved without even realizing he was moving. His stomach was turning over, heart beating so hard in his chest that he was sure Matteo could hear it as Vikenti got closer, cupping the man's jaw in his hands before whispering harshly. "I just...want you." Then he sighed softly, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss that was nothing more than a press of lips, sweet and soft, hungry but not demanding at all. The healer's eyes fluttered closed and he exhaled softly into the kiss before pulling away in a hurry, dropping his hands to his side and his gaze to the table. He was silent for a second. "So yeah...that happened." His voice was low, almost inaudible and breathless. "Sorry." He said, even lower, still pointedly not looking at Matteo.
"That was really, really stupid...wasn't it?" He asked, mostly to himself.
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Avu
Weyrleader Ce'thian Rider A'emi Handler Sena Harper Matteo Weyrbrat Riaren
Posts: 2,439
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Post by Avu on May 14, 2012 15:53:30 GMT -5
“And you say you aren’t being a martyr,” Matteo said dryly, raising an eyebrow at Vikenti. “That sounds an awful lot like being a martyr to me, you’re just—wait, you are?” He blinked, owlishly surprised, and then laced his fingers together to prop up his chin expectantly. “Okay, let’s hear it then…?”
Although, to be honest, Vikenti still wasn’t making much sense; his questions were obviously pretty pointed but Matteo could literally hear the point sailing right over his head. What—hadn’t he established that he wanted to know? And—uh. He squinted at Vikenti warily, about to ask if those were supposed to be trick questions or something, which was right about when the second shoe dropped and Matteo, because he was nothing if not absolutely awful at dealing with feelings, froze and stared, wide-eyed with bewilderment and something he refused to call panic.
“You—” he blurted, stupidly, right before the kiss caught his mouth and he just couldn’t help stiffening, even though it was probably the last thing he needed to do; his mind was busy reminding him that this, this was something new and dangerous and charged and he needed to tread carefully, here, but he hadn’t—this wasn’t something he’d wanted, this wasn’t—he flinched back almost imperceptibly just as Vikenti pulled away, too, shaky as he blinked and then shook his head at the apology. “No, it’s—God, it’s not stupid, okay, can we—”
Matteo stood up a little too fast, trying not to meet the stares they were attracting as he caught Vikenti by the sleeve and pulled, “Can we get somewhere less public? This—I can’t do this here, okay—”
Or at all.
Which Matteo was pretty sure he ought to go ahead and make clear, since it wasn’t his intention to give false hope or anything, but he had been the one telling Vikenti to man up and do it or whatever else he’d said so—so was that even an option? Because it wouldn’t be the first time he’d had long odds and that kind of sacrifice wasn’t off the tables, so to speak, because it was Vikenti, but.
But it was Vikenti, so the inevitable awkwardness would be pretty obvious regardless of how good he was at covering it up.
Yeah.
Good advice-giving, way to back yourself into a corner, Matteo.
Great plan.
He quirked a small, weak smile at Vikenti, fingers still caught in the fabric of his sleeve. “Unless you were really invested in finishing that, I mean, but we could—I mean, dinner. Should make up for it. Um. Can we, is the room okay?” [/blockquote]
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