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Post by glamourie on Nov 20, 2007 9:30:38 GMT -5
Rawign tensed visibly as Marra leaned against him, his eyes following the fruit. He couldn't pick it up with her leaning against him that way unless he wanted to drop her unceremoniously on the bed, but that thought was promptly washed away by Beggar, who appeared from between and snatched the fruit as if he thought it was his own. The firelizard then soundlessly disappeared between once more, clearly leaving before his pet could scold him for stealing the fruit. His appearance and then disappearance left Rawign staring at him, his confusion only disappearing as Marra actually crumbled down into his lap. The way she was sprawled over him brought a bright blush to his cheeks, and were it not for the obvious exhaustion she was exhibiting, he would have accused her of doing it on purpose just to embarrass him. But she was clearly tired, and from the way she looked, so relaxed, he was betting she was sound asleep already, lost in her own little dreamland. What did Harpers dream about? Hopefully nothing in relation to being sprawled across a Healer's lap. That would be ... awkward.
To move her or not to move her? He decided on the latter, if only because he strongly suspected that Marra was the kind of person who blew up spectacularly when she was woken up against her will. He could just imagine her springing up and yelling at him, and while the idea of Marra acting normal again (for her) was appealing, the fact was that he was too tired to bicker with her, and his head hurt still, a dull throb somewhere behind his eyes.
So it was that he leaned back slightly, relaxing himself. If she was going to sleep on him, then he was going to half-nap as well. His eyes fluttered closed in the darkness, welcoming the sensation and the dulled senses that came with it; his aching head drew relief from the lack of light beating into his eyes. It only took him a matter of minutes before his mind succumbed to the temptation of sleep, with his fingers falling down to curl loosely in Marra's hair. Were he awake, he would have jerked his hand away and berated himself mentally for such an almost affectionate action, but Rawign wasn't awake, not anymore. He'd intended only to doze, but the moment he closed his eyes, the headache and his own exhaustion (brought on and heightened by worry) overcame him. What a sight the two must have made, both sound asleep in Marra's bed; fortunately, there could be no denying that it was perfectly innocent. Their posture left no doubts.
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Post by Administrator on Nov 20, 2007 10:20:54 GMT -5
What did harpers dream about? Well, Marra wouldn't be the one to tell him. She was unable to remember her dreams when she awoke some time later, unsure for how long she had been sleeping, but still tired. This, however, she blamed on sleeping for so long. Not opening her eyes, she snuggled further onto her warm 'pillow,' burying her head deeper into his leg. However, she paused. This wasn't the same texture as the rest of the pillow... And... there was a long crevice down the center of this pillow, and her head was resting on something at the top of the crevice. Opening her eyes, she turned bright scarlet as she saw the crevice was his legs, and her head was resting on...
Fast as lightening, she moved her head further down his legs, burning in embarrassment. She hoped she hadn't slept there the whole night... He would probably make fun of her for it, and she would be forced to slap him. Actually, this overall position was awkward. When did she fall asleep on him? Was Rawign awake to see that happen? However, she couldn't move- his hand was relaxed in her hair. One braid had come undone in her sleep, and Rawign's fingers lay entangled in it. It wasn't a terrible feeling, but a strange one. She was not used to being in this sort of contact with anyone, let alone a boy she thought she disliked. She sighed, letting herself just curl up as she lay on him, far away from the sensitive spot she had been sleeping on earlier. Scolding herself for not shoving him away in disgust, she let her eyes close again, not falling asleep this time. Perhaps she was actually getting attached to someone. In a platonic way, of course. Not that she would ever admit this.
Marra pondered all of the things he had said to her before, and she felt the familiar blush at her cheeks heat up. This brought her to thinking of her new dilemma. He actually cared enough to stay with her for an entire day, even though he didn't need to. He could have just plopped her on the bed and skip off, or send someone else to watch her, or just send to her to infirmary. Never would she ever have guessed that he stay! No matter from what angle she looked at it, she couldn't find a plausible selfish reason he had done so, accidentally proving what he could not prove just by showing her random people all over the Weyr. No, he had done that himself.
Keeping her eyes closed, she seemed to anyone that she was still asleep, asleep on Rawign's lap with her arm angled around her head, her braided hair beginning to curl out in a messy halo. Though her body looked peaceful, her mind was not, hoping that Rawign had not noticed on what part of him she had been sleeping on all night, the comforting feeling of his fingers in her hair, and her feelings of disbelief that for once, she, Marra, was wrong.
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Post by glamourie on Nov 20, 2007 10:43:51 GMT -5
Rawign always dreamed. But his dreams were very strange that day, as he half-lay back in perfect relaxation with his hair in a messy array around his face, black curls framing finely tanned features. His eyes were closed but fluttering, clear indication that he was sleeping lightly for once, and in the back of his mind he was flashing on Nerat and the Hold he'd come from. His mind's eye was filled with the last time he'd seen his younger sister Religna and her dark eyes, angry with him for packing in the dead of night, angry with him for leaving her alone with their parents. That was four turns previous, but in his dream it felt like it was happening again, as though he was explaining his motivations to her once more in his desperation, but her face remained contorted with fury at him - fury for him leaving her alone with their father, alone with their own private Hell. Rawn wasn't a bad man, but he never understood Religna, and Ligna herself was not a very good listener. It was only them.
"You'll leave me here alone, with mother and father, to be married off to the highest bidder, as little more worth?" "I want to make a difference, Li. I want to do something with my life that isn't just fishing!" "Then take me with you and let me make a difference, too! Don't leave me here alone, Rawign!" "And what would you do? I can't protect you and I'm going on foot. You need to stay here. You're safe here. Mother and father love you." "They love you as well! They don't understand me at all! Only you do!" "I'll come back. I promise I'll come back, once I can, and we'll leave, together, okay? We'll leave and go somewhere away from this fighting." "You're a liar. You'll leave and you'll never come back. Fine then! Leave! Leave me alone! I hate you!"
So many Turns ago the fight was, but it still bothered him, enough that when Marra moved, Rawign actually jumped and recoiled away from her, his hand falling free of her hair as he sat up. Religna's voice, so young then, flashed through his mind as memorable as the day it happened. His breathing was laboured and he brought one hand to his face before raising his eyebrows apologetically. It never occurred to him that he might have woken her up, as he'd been startled out of sleep himself. He also hadn't noticed the position she was in at all.
"Sorry," he said softly, one hand moving to his face to rub his eyes. What time was it? How long had they slept? How long was he asleep? Had she been laying curled up next to him? How.. weird. His mind latched onto that idea for only a brief moment before he continued, voice nearly inaudible despite the silence of the apartment. From the stillness outside he would have wagered it was either late in the evening or early in the morning, definitely dark and before or after people were moving around too much. It was simply too quiet otherwise, too peaceful. Unnerving in its own way was total peace, though he would never have admitted that much aloud. "I didn't mean to wake you."
His mind lingered on the last words he'd heard from Religna before he left: that he would never come back. He hadn't. He'd broken his promise, and that bothered him more than anything else. He had no word of how Religna was doing or anything at Nerat, which worried him more than he was willing to admit as well. His sister was one of the few people he could say he cared about totally - and he had no contact with the north to know what she was doing or where. She was fourteen; he remembered that age. So much time had passed, four Turns without seeing her, and it didn't look as if he would be going back to Nerat any time soon. If he was on friendlier terms with any of the riders, he might have asked if one of them could at least tell her he was all right, that he missed her, on some trip to Nerat... but most Selenitas riders wouldn't be going there, would they?
"Are you feeling better?"
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Post by Administrator on Nov 20, 2007 11:10:32 GMT -5
Marra shot up as Rawign almost seemed to jump away from her. Looking over at him carefully, she watched his chest rise and fall heavily. What was wrong? Did he notice where she had been sleeping? In vain, she tried to quell the rising blush, already preparing an excuse. Shard it, it hadn't... aroused him, had it? One quick flicker downwards and she exhaled in relief. Nope, he was still cold. Running a hand through her hair, she undid the other braid as she regarded him carefully. She couldn't think of any other reason he woud be like this. "Are you all right?" she asked him with a frown. At least he seemed to be calming. This was good- she didn't know how to react when men got shaky. It was unnerving to her. Smiling awkwardly, she smoothed out her shirt.
"It's all right. I was already awake," she replied waving her hand in dismissal. Getting up, she strode over to the window, looking outside to see any hint of the time. None of the other apartment trees had lights on, save for one where she could see a woman and a man arguing over something. Irritated, she shut the curtains. It was pitch black outside anyway, and she wasn't thrilled at the idea of anyone noticing that there was a man in her apartment so late at night, especially when they hadn't done anything.
At his next question she blinked in surprise, turning back from the curtain to face him curiously. "Yeah," she replied distantly. "A lot better." She was silent for a long moment before continuing. "Thanks," she murmured. She felt guilty still that he had stayed with her for so long when he didn't have to. It truly hadn't crossed her mind that she might have hurt herself. She had just gotten so wrapped up in her music...
Remembering the harp, she picked it up, looking down at it in her hands. Going through her newly composed music, she found one of the instrumental ones. Smiling a little, she plucked out the bright rhythm, simple and upbeat, but not overly merry. It consisted of single notes only, no chords, just notes with a few little ornaments added onto them. She looked down at her music as she did so, completely lost in her music once again as she tested out this harp. It was a piece of a good length, not long, but not short, either. The intricate fingerings left her hand sore upon completion, but she was proud of the result. She smiled, and turned back to him to make some sort of comment on how she couldn't accept it, but her expression remained neutral as she looked him over.
"You don't look all that great," she noted. "What's going on?"
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Post by glamourie on Nov 20, 2007 11:32:50 GMT -5
"Fine," Rawign replied, but he wasn't fine, he was angry with himself more than he was willing to admit. But that was his problem and he would not burden Marra with something she had no relation to or concept of understanding. It wasn't his way to burden other people with his problems. Actually, Rawign had a tendency of bottling everything up until he exploded, which was likely why he ended up so angry much of the time. But his little 'explosion' earlier helped; he wasn't upset anymore, at least not with Marra. His sister's voice lingering in the back of his mind was enough to keep him on the verge of collapsing into near-hysteria and only Marra's presence seemed to help remedy that.
Come to think of it, Marra was good at keeping him level-headed in some ways, more than he had realized. He was upset over thinking of Religna again; he hadn't even thought of home in months. He didn't fall apart solely because he refused to let Marra see that. At the river, he'd been frightened out of his mind and he hadn't run away or anything because of being too proud to show such weakness in front of her. It would probably have been terribly useful if he could get her to come with him around dragons; he'd be too stubborn to run and maybe, eventually, he'd be comfortable enough without her. But Marra wasn't a deadglow, at least not most of the time, and she would likely pick up on his motivations for hauling her around if he suggested it. And she couldn't come with him to the Sands when the eggs hatched. Maybe he would find an excuse not to be there. It wasn't as though he was exactly dragonrider material anyway.
Before he could comment further, though, she'd picked up the harp. Rawign raised his eyebrows and pulled his knees up slightly, hugging them as he inclined his head to listen to her play the notes. They sounded a little rusty to him, as if it needed further fine-tuning, but for an insomnia-written ballad, it was very good. She played extremely well but what had he expected, for her to be a novice? She was a journeywoman, not some new apprentice touching a harp for the first time. It looked good in her hands.
As the song drew to a close and she turned to speak to him, Rawign uncurled slightly. He wanted to lie, to snap that he was fine, but he somehow knew it wouldn't go over all that well and for once they were getting along. No lying. "I had a bad dream. Or rather, a bad memory coming to me in the form of a dream. It's nothing you or anyone else can fix, though." That was the most he was willing to explain and for Rawign it may as well have been a huge declaration; he usually didn't tell anyone even the slightest thing, deeming it none of their business. "Is it a good harp, then? I know very little about them. I picked the one you were looking at at the stall, and hoped it was good quality. I'm really awful when it comes to Harper tools; I tend to stick to my own craft more often than not."
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Post by Administrator on Nov 20, 2007 12:04:35 GMT -5
Perhaps this is how she could help repay him for his kindness, Marra thought curiously, though she was genuinely concerned for how he was feeling. His denial was only further proof something was definitely not okay. It was typical for someone to push away people who could help. Actually, she probably would have been less concerned if he admitted his problem right away. Setting the harp back down on the desk, she walked over silently to him, sitting beside him. Her blue-gray eyes watched him not with a hard stare, but something different. Curiosity? Concern? She wouldn't overstep her boundaries by touching him, but she wanted to do something. If she let him keep dwelling in this nightmare after he had helped her so much, she would feel badly. She wouldn't admit she cared, though. She could now see why he wasn't admitting to her earlier that he cared about her. She smiled slightly. Oh, pride.
"Look, I might not be able to fix it, but I know telling someone about... problems can make you feel better," she told him with a kind of smile. Marra knew from experience how this worked. She had resisted revealing information like this to Jenicey, but doing so helped break through her harsh, hateful facade. Maybe she could do this for Rawign. Normally, Marra would have been disgusted trying to help someone... But not Rawign. He was her friend, she realized in amazement. They cared for each other, no matter how much they would try to hide it and deny it. They were friends, a fact now unable to be hidden.
She blinked as he asked about the harp. "Yeah, it's a nice harp," she told him, chuckling awkwardly. She paused, giving him a searching look. "It's too nice. I can't just accept it from you," she told him. "What do you want me to do?" she asked, knowing that there had to be a price to such an extravagant gift.
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Post by glamourie on Nov 20, 2007 12:17:17 GMT -5
Rawign tilted his head just slightly, giving Marra a quizzical look, before his eyes fell back to his feet. The fact that she seemed to actually care about what the problem was unnerved him and his natural flight instinct kicked in, making him ache to run off and leave her sitting in her apartment alone. He didn't cave to that temptation, much as he longed to, solely because he didn't want to come across as rude when they were managing not to fight for once. They always seemed to bicker and argue, disagree and fight, and he didn't want to anymore, or at least, not with genuine hostility. Leaving might make it seem as if he didn't appreciate her concern and he did. He just... didn't know how to respond to people caring what he thought, and part of him felt guilty at the very idea of burdening someone else with his problems. He was a secretive creature by nature and always had been. He didn't know how to change.
He remained silent for a moment, allowing her to answer his question about the harp before looking at her in confusion. What did he - what ? He didn't want her to do anything. Slowly shaking his head, Rawign laughed, but the sound was awkward and quiet. "I wanted to see you smile for real, not just because you're angry or annoyed, or think you've come out on top in something. You already smiled once. You don't owe me anything else. Besides, it suits you in its own way, I think," he explained, and he believed that. It was a nice harp, nothing awe-inspiring as some, but functional. Pretty, definitely worth a second glance, but more efficient than the shiny and amazingly decorative ones. Not unlike Marra herself, and he was betting the harp could sound absolutely horrible if someone wanted it to, not unlike her either. He was not about to point out his full motivations, though.
His eyes moved to the table. Some of the foods were still left out. The klah was surely cold, and it would have to be tossed out, but the rest could be spared, he suspected. Ah, but her question about his nightmares, or rather her expression of interest, lingered. "If you honestly want to know, it was a nightmare about my sister. She's still in Nerat. I promised I would go back and take her away from there once I could. I promised I would go back." He shook his head slowly before looking at Marra. It didn't really help him that much to talk about it, but he felt rude not telling her after having walked in on her fainting. It seemed almost cruel to keep his little problem to himself. "That was four turns ago. I haven't gone back at all, and I don't know how she's doing. I hadn't thought about her much - I'm not sure what prompted the dream. There's really nothing you can do to fix it, though I appreciate you listening. I'll figure something out."
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Post by Administrator on Nov 20, 2007 19:21:19 GMT -5
A smile? That's all he wanted? Frowning, Marra replied, "A smile is a smile. There's no difference in any of them. They all have the same basic structure, and there's no point in trying to read different meanings behind it because that it up to interpretation." Shrugging, she didn't realize that it could sound harsh, but the again, she never was able to know what was harsh or not. She sighed. Perhaps she was never meant to understand fluffy stuff like this. She would pay him back for real sometime. Even if he wouldn't accept marks, she felt obliged to do something for him. She was in his debt doubly so now, and she would find a way to give it all back to him.
As Rawign finally spilled what was troubling her, she gave him a small smile. In a rare gesture of sympathy, uncharacteristic of Marra, she grasped his hand, absently aware of how big his were in comparison to hers. Squeezing it gently, she twined her fingers with his. "It'll be all right," she murmured, already wracking her brains to figure out how she could remedy this. There was the obvious option, of course... "How about we ask a rider to take you to Nerat?" she asked, trying to add a brightness to her voice. "If you don't know any riders, I, at least, have connections," she added with a proud look on her face. Looking back up at him timidly, she watched his face.
"I'm sure she won't be mad at you," Marra added comfortingly. "She'll understand." And if she didn't understand, Marra thought darkly, she would break that girl till she did. Not taking her hand from Rawign's, she made a mental note to ask Robika to take Rawign to Nerat.
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Post by glamourie on Nov 20, 2007 21:02:14 GMT -5
A slight smile played over Rawign's features at Marra's response and he shook his head slowly. She didn't get it, did she? It wasn't about the physical description of what made a smile, it was the meaning behind them. Some smiles darkened eyes and looked haunted, looked wicked. Other smiles, like a genuine one, could light up an entire face and make someone who was normally only average in appearance be breath-takingly beautiful. Ironically, Marra was one such person. Under normal circumstances she was average in appearance, but when she smiled? When she smiled, he'd probably have described her as beautiful. Privately. To himself. So that she never, ever so much as suspected that he might think that. If she ever found out, she'd probably tease him mercilessly afterwards. Marra would likely take perverse delight in tormenting him over something so innocent. It wasn't that he liked her. He just thought she looked better when she smiled. And he doubted she could see the difference between that and being attracted to her.
His smile melted away in the next moment, though, and he dropped his head down slightly as she grasped his hand. His first instinct was to pull away and take to pacing; he'd never really responded well to any kind of comfort. He didn't know how to react to people trying to be good to him. He worked better when he thought they were angry - spiteful was he, and if someone told him that they wanted him to be miserable, he was likely to find a way to be happy just to prove he could be, and to have it be a kick in their face. That was how he operated and it had served him well in the past. He didn't pull away solely because he didn't want to risk coming off wrong.
The idea of a rider taking him to Nerat both thrilled and terrified him. The concept of going to see Religna again, to make sure she was okay, to make sure she was happy, was exciting. But riding on a dragon was not. He was probably one of the few young adults who did not like the idea of being physically near to a dragon. He was getting better in that he didn't run screaming from the smaller colours, as long as they weren't making a lot of noise, but the larger ones frightened him still. And that was not something he could ever bring himself to admit to Marra aloud, let alone anyone else. How ridiculous he must have looked. He was supposed to actually go on the Sands with one of the biggest dragons at some point and... the idea made him nauseous just thinking about it, really. He'd be lucky if he managed to get there. His mind was already deciphering a way for him to be conveniently sick the day of the Hatching and just be unable to get out of bed. Right.
"Is Nerat really that safe for riders here to be going?" he asked quietly, deciding not to respond to the rest of her statements, simply because they upset him. He was worried about Religna enough to believe that she was still furious with him. "Nerat is relatively close to Benden..." Or at least, it was close enough that seeing dragons wasn't unusual in the days he'd lived there. "I don't want to put anyone from this Weyr at risk just because I'm lingering in the past. I don't want to risk endangering anyone else. Religna's my sister, and I do worry about her a lot... and I do want to keep my promise to her, if I can. But not at the cost of someone else's safety. I'm selfish but not that bad. I'm not sure how good an idea it would be for anyone from Selenitas to go there." He shook his head slowly. He was probably being paranoid, but he had the worst images in his mind of something awful happening, and it being entirely his fault. He'd never forgive himself. "I appreciate the offer..."
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Post by Administrator on Nov 20, 2007 22:56:29 GMT -5
Marra let him go, watching his nervous pacing with an unreadable expression on her bitter-looking features. She knew he probably had too much pride to accept comfort, so she didn't mind. She did want him to know, however, that she would help him somehow. For countless reasons! He had helped her, she felt sorry for him, he gave her a harp... And he was her friend now, too. Officially. Not just following each other around to irritate one another. Her mind was made up. Even if he wasn't going to accept physical comfort, she'd help figure out what was going on with his sister. Nothing would make her change her mind now. She could be stubborn that way.
She frowned. It might not be incredibly safe, but it wasn't like flying into Benden. And Robika was smart- if worse came to worse, Robika could wink between and Rawign could use Beggar to contact Selenitas... or her. She wasn't sure if she wanted Shmee to know about this. Their Weyrwoman would probably get up in their butts about it, and Marra would avoid that.
Giving Rawign a look of frustration, she told him, "Look. I want to help, and I'm sure Robika'd be willing. Whether you like it or not, I'm going to ask her," she told him firmly, no-nonsense clear in her voice. If he thought she was joking, he would be very much mistaken. That would repay some of her debt, she thought smugly. And beyond that, she thought oddly. For some reason, a part of her sincerely wanted to help Rawign. How strange, to be friends with someone...
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Post by glamourie on Nov 20, 2007 23:32:02 GMT -5
Rawign whirled around and bit his tongue to avoid instantly responding with something sarcastic. He was smart enough to identify that Marra was trying to help him and he did appreciate it, but he didn't know that it was such a good idea. True, the riders could leave easily enough but what if Robika was seen or something? Rawign did not want her to get hurt, if he could help it, and he also didn't want to risk her getting into trouble for something done for him. He'd have sent Beggar to Nerat, if the silly firelizard listened well enough to deliver messages, but the only thing he could train him to do was carry small healing objects to and fro - and even then it had taken Rawign an entire turn to teach him. Fortunately, Beggar seemed to be able to identify what was needed by key movements from Rawign, but really that was about it. He hadn't even trained the firelizard not to steal food! And he'd been trying.
One hand came up to his face and Rawign plopped right back down in his spot from only moments before, his free arm winding around his lower stomach. Did he want to go back to Nerat? Well, he wanted to go and find Religna, but... Riding on a dragon didn't appeal to Rawign. At all. Neither did the concept of being trapped around someone he didn't know. And going home meant he would have to face his father and he didn't want to do that, either. He didn't know how his father would take to him being a Journeyman. He didn't want to know. How long had he been avoiding that idea? And there it was; he'd have to face it eventually, but...
"As long as you promise that all you do is ask. I don't want Robika to get into trouble," he replied, his voice equally no-nonsense. "If it's too much of a risk for her to go there, or there's a chance she might get into trouble here for it, I don't want her to do it, and you have a way of making people feel like they have to do things when you're trying." His eyebrows raised. "Promise me all you'll do is ask. No pressure or anything. I can't make you not ask her, but I don't want her to feel like she has to do anything for me, especially not at her own risk." His hands moved to his sides as he turned to look at her. "And you don't have to ask her at all. I appreciate it, Marra, I really do, but I don't ... I don't want you to do anything you're not completely comfortable with, okay? It's enough that you listened..." He paused, then looked at the harp again. "Sometime I'll ask you to play some of those songs for me, you know..."
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Post by Administrator on Nov 21, 2007 10:43:58 GMT -5
Marra didn't touch him again as Rawign sat back down. She'd let him have his pride. However, she didn't move. If she had known his worries, she may have offered to go along with him. She simply thought him too prideful if she offered to go along with him for no reason. Speaking of the North, she thought uneasily, she probably needed to report to Harper Hall soon, to get updates and see how she was coming along, as well as to put in her request to stay at Selenitas. Six month shifts at a place called for frequent placements. Her second term here was coming to a close, and she got the hint that her Master was getting antsy with how she was the lone, working harper at a Weyr. Even though she was smart, her Master was a sexist man, and would probably insist she didn't learn as much as she should by working at a Weyr. She, for one, knew of a few girls who had slept with him to maintain their placements at Selenitas Hold and Blossom Hold, but Marra wasn't going to sink that low. Well, at least she had an idea about where her marks were going, she thought grimly.
"I'll ask," she promised reassuringly, banishing these uneasy thoughts from her mind. "I need to go to the North anyway. I need to check in at Harper Hall," she explained with a shrug, justifying her reason to asking such a favor of Robika. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind taking a little detour to Nerat." She gave him a firm look, a don't-worry-I'm-going-to-ask-but-I'll-win-in-the-end kind of face. Then it softened a little. She wanted to help. She knew what it was like not to see her family for turns. But she had never gone four turns without visiting, so it must be torturing him not to see his sister. It was admirable, his love for her. Did his sister know how much Rawign missed her, she wondered. That he had a nightmare about her?
Marra blinked. He wanted to hear her play her music? She chuckled a little. "I'd be happy to," she replied with amusement. "You like music?" For some reason, it had never crossed her mind to ask him that. He bought her a harp, yet she had not a clue if he just went with his instincts, or bought a random one, or if he actually knew what he was looking for in a harp.
Looking out the window, she frowned. It showed no signs of lighting. She sighed. "It's late, and if we stay up through all this, we'll never have a normal sleeping schedule again," she told him with a frown. "I think we should try getting to sleep again. You can sleep here again, so you don't try navigating the boats at night... You can take the bed," she offered, carefully making sure she would sleep on... it again.
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Post by glamourie on Nov 21, 2007 11:29:31 GMT -5
Harper Hall. Good save. Actually, thinking on it, he'd need to check in at Healer Hall soon enough himself. He hadn't been at Selenitas long enough to worry about it, but not long after the Hatching, he would definitely have to, if only to find out where he would be switched to. Rawign wasn't expecting to Impress; he was still sure that he would be sent away to another Hold or Weyr. Not that he would have minded all that much. He could send messages to the people at Selenitas who were his friends, once he managed to convince Beggar that sending messages was a good idea because it might earn him food. That would be a project and a half, but...
"So if we go, you're coming with?" he asked quietly. Strangely, he felt a little better at the idea if Marra was coming, though he would not dare tell her that. He had too much of an ego to admit that he wanted someone he knew around. Robika, from what he knew of her, seemed nice enough, but she wasn't his friend, he'd never even spoken to the greenrider before. He'd never heard bad things about her, but that didn't make her someone he wanted to talk to regularly. Rawign wasn't shy but he was borderline antisocial. He didn't get along well with people and it took him a very long time to grow comfortable around others. Robika was a stranger; Marra was not. He could function more around Marra than around a greenrider he didn't know, and Marra also had the peculiar talent for making him refuse to admit his fears around her, as if admitting any weakness was a mistake. He was betting if she was there, he could be around the dragon more without worrying. Or worrying less, anyway.
Part of him was actually tempted to ask Marra if she'd be willing to help him get over that fear. But the bigger, more dominant part of Rawign's mind wouldn't allow him to confess aloud a second time that he was frightened. He'd feel like a fool.
Dark green eyes narrowed slightly as he regarded Marra with interest, but the look wasn't a glare, it was merely thoughtful. "I like listening to music. I can't sing or play. I've never possessed an ounce of talent for it. Li could sing," explained the Healer with a shrug. "I've always liked listening. Music is soothing in its own way. Beggar sings, you know. He used to sing with the Harpers who came over to Healer Hall. Some of them seemed to find it entertaining. He's off-tune, too, though. He and I both lack in any ability to hold a tune, though after enough wine I'd probably disagree with that statement..." He trailed off and shrugged, not remotely abashed. He wasn't capable of singing. There were worse things.
Besides, he was betting even if he was decent at singing or playing an instrument, Marra would have made him look like a novice anyway. Her suggestion that they sleep made him nod, and he raised his eyebrows slightly when she said he could stay. That... surprised him; he'd expected to be kicked out. But he appreciated it, though he stepped away from the bed and shook his head. "It's your bed. You sleep in it. Once I fall asleep I tend to pass out anyway, I'll be fine on the floor. Thank you for letting me stay. And... for listening." And for being willing to help, though he was not going to admit that to her, though it hung in the air unspoken after he trailed off.
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Post by Administrator on Nov 21, 2007 13:34:33 GMT -5
Marra raised an eyebrow, not coldly like she was so used to, but curiously. "Only if you want me to. I just figured it would be easier on Robika to take care of everything in one trip," she told him with a shrug. "I don't need to be with you to Nerat, but I'll tag along to take a visit to Harper Hall unless you have major objections." Marra wasn't looking forward to meeting with the Masterharper, so maybe, if she was lucky, Rawign wouldn't want her to go right now. She could delay this for as long as she could, but she had a feeling her Master would be unhappy with all the delaying in talking to him. He might make her go away from Selenitas with even more conviction if she kept putting it off. She sighed. She didn't like to think about this, so she didn't bring it up.
Well, it was reassuring to know that Rawign liked music, she thought smiling slightly. He had hope yet, she supposed. "Glad to hear it," she replied with a quiet chuckle. "Just let me know if you ever want me trying something. You don't really have to ask me twice to get started." Rolling her eyes at herself, she took some of the furs and a pillow from her bed. She wasn't going to let Rawign sleep on the floor. Spreading a little place out for herself, she sat down on it, looking up. She could've suggested not sleeping at all, so that it wouldn't convenience either of them, but for some reason, she thought, he might not appreciate that sort of offer. "Well," she went on, "People are pretty sure they can do a lot of things after a lot of wine." She grinned, thinking of a drunken Rawign singing a merry tune, strumming a gitar that protested with loud ringing sounds that were a far cry from how a gitar was supposed to sound. That thought made her giggle, and honest-to-goodness giggle. Covering her mouth as she realized what she had just done, she busied herself with getting into the furs as her face turned pink. Shard it. She was becoming a girl.
Rolling her eyes again, she said, "Please. Just sleep in the bed don't try to act the hero." She paused, and she attributed what she said next to a temporary loss of sanity. "You've done that enough already."
At the rest of his statement, she merely smiled. "No problem," she replied gruffly, pausing. Spritely, she leapt up and tottered over to the glowbasket, covering it. Slipping back into the furs, she lay in it firmly, making it clear that she wasn't going to get up. Lying on her side, she looked up at the cot, looking up at him before resting her head on the pillow.
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Post by glamourie on Nov 21, 2007 15:08:22 GMT -5
Rawign frowned, then banished the expression from his face as quickly as he could. They could discuss the specifics of when - if - they were both going to the north later. His mind would need time to adjust to the idea anyway. He kept flashing on the north and last, ugly argument he had with his father, and the idea of going back to the north to face that was terrifying. Religna was worth it but there was a cold dread that he could not completely suppress, which lingered even after he was awake, even in his smallest movements. That fight with his father was part of why he was afraid to trust and care about people. Once upon a time, he was closer to his father, extremely so. He'd loved him and Religna more than words. That fight scared him and rather than face it, Rawign ran away. He often ran away from things that frightened him. In part, that was why he had come to the Weyr in the first place rather than just necessity. That was why he hadn't backed down (yet) from being a candidate. He always ran away from the things that scared him, ducked under the nearest rock in hopes of it passing, and he needed to break away from that habit.
Dark green eyes followed Marra as she moved to the floor and he rolled his eyes visibly at her. Contrary thing! He crinkled his nose, then rolled over onto his side. He'd kicked his boots off at some point, likely when he was in the midst of sleeping earlier, fortunately enough. Her bed was comfortable, but he'd have felt a little better sleeping on the floor. Somehow the irony of the situation was not lost on him -- Marra was, quite literally, the first woman to get him into her bed. He'd have laughed if he wasn't busy trying to think of a proper argument as she made her little spot on the floor comfortable. He stored the idea of her being willing to perform away in his mind; he was half-tempted to ask if she'd be willing to sing the songs she'd just written for him, but didn't want to risk her temper. Especially not when he was half-asleep already.
"I'm not playing the hero," he whispered as she closed the glowbasket. His eyes fell closed and he mumbled on to himself, the words not meant to be heard, though audible enough that if she was listening, they would be. "Heroes are wherrybrains who do things for glory or for the recognition of others. I tend to prefer neither of those things ever happen to me..."
He hated being the center of attention, no matter how much he pretended otherwise. Rawign wasn't afraid of groups or of people, he just didn't like feeling like everyone was looking to or at him. He was worried about failing - and some part of him felt like that's all he was, one giant failure. That part was the part that was worried the most about Religna, because if there was anyone he did not want to fail, it was her. Although, the harper curled up in the floor fell into the very short list of people he didn't want to think of him as a failure, either. Not that he'd have ever told Marra that; he'd just as soon cut out his own tongue before even slightly alluding to the fact that she was important to him... in any way.
"You are so impossible," Rawign mumbled under his breath before snuggling his face into the cot. The darkness of the apartment was enough to engulf him nearly completely, and he fell asleep in a matter of minutes, trailing off with quiet mumblings, "... completely.. impossible."
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