As wishes may inspire dreams [Kals]

[rii]

A gentle touch to the back of his head, while caring, made him wince. He turned his head away as far as he could, a faint crease forming in his brow. While in the surreal haze he'd love nothing more than to feel the fingers weave in with his hair, the tangible aspect of him drew him out of the dream – toward something real; something dark; something he didn't want to face. His eyes began to flutter as he drew in a long breathe. In that fleeting moment, passing from sleep to wakefulness, in that span of existence where he couldn't tell the difference between reality and fantasy, for just a moment he could believe with his entire soul that the dream was reality.

The hand shot up, snatching a wrist, before dark gold eyes even opened. The reality quickly settle in, not of the past, but the past. The pain blossoming in red on the back of his head, the look, the keening – F'lix began to twist the arm away. Reflexes said he was near an enemy. Only, something was pushing him back down, and he didn't have the strength to fight it. Only then did the eyes slit, focusing on the face of the woman - a familiar woman.

"Kali." He rested against the bed, trusted her well enough, and let his gaze roam around the room as the small details fell into place. "You didn't make it out." It had been his last thought to Saboth. Saboth. F'lix mentally touched the bond with caution, a wash of hunger and concern rushing back at him. Go eat. Can't fly. The pain, physical and emotional, from Saboth made his eyes sting and F'lix withdrew his mind before it could overwhelm him. "What happened?"

Maybe, since he was still alive, Selenitas had won against.. who? He had heard keening, or maybe that had been his imagination after Ba'sun had struck him. F'lix thought he knew the older man better than all that, but then again, time spent as a prisoner to your own home might have made him develop those nasty triggering demons. At this moment, F'lix could only imagine his weyrmate's worry – or maybe F'ur didn't know yet. How long had it been, a couple hours?

Still, he felt hungry.. thirsty.. weak.. F'lix fingers trekked up to check the damage on the back of his head. Confusion knitted between his brows at the feel of smooth skin of the nearly healed gash. F'lix drew his arm back, staring at his hand and the skeletal way the tendons showed in the long fingers. A warm presence touched at his mind that had began to swell with panic. Sleep long time, Lixmine. Lilitu supplied wearily, Must you scare? Said no to trust man. Should listen. Lilitu know. Flyer try die like Simper. Fools all 'round. I tell flyer you no gone. I no permit.

"Tell me F'ur took off his head for me. Fucking bastard."

[Requiem]

He'd come to the washbasin, silent as ever, tugging lightly on the back of her pants to get her attention. Kahrelir's eyes were alight with muted excitement. The healer tossed the towel into the bin reserved for used linens and followed her adoptive son, who never actually did leg go of her pants. The longer she was exposed to K'lir's son, the more clear it became that the boy was unusually bright. She'd never told him what to look for in a patient to know they were about to wake up, any more than she'd told him to watch F'lix. But after the first two days of sticking to her side - no doubt missing his father - and seeing how often she checked in on the bluerider, he'd taken to spending most of his time at the infirmary in the rider's sickroom. Sure enough, the man's breathing was louder and slightly irregular. Kalierre felt relief wash over her; she hadn't been certain he'd ever wake. The woman knelt and hugged the boy briefly, pressing her cheek to his. "Thank you, Rel. This is very good." He smiled in response and clambered up onto the stool Kalierre had brought in for him days ago.

Not wanting to jostle him, she gently ran her fingers over the mostly healed wound on the back of his head, checking that none of the stitching had been pulled free. His face twitched, clearly coming around. The healer swiftly pushed at his opposite shoulder when he suddenly grabbed for her wrist, though, and then his eyes were open and he was relaxing. She withdrew her hands, nodding at the sound of her name. Kalierre turned, but Kahrelir had already filled a glass of water and extended it to her. Water had spilled in a puddle on the table beside him, but she smiled anyway. He smiled back, pleased. Her back still turned, she responded, "They had good information. There was a rider in my quarters moments after Saboth's broadcast. Most of the healers were gotten to early on." All but the ones on shift, ironically.

Glancing at the bluerider who had been her squad leader, she didn't answer his question right away. Instead, she watched him examine his hands. "You've been unconscious for nearly a sevenday," Kalierre told him softly. A wry smile twisted her lips. Ba'sun, no doubt. The expression faded and she helped him sit up against the headboard, waiting for the bluerider to drink a little before she said anything. She did him the courtesy of letting him handle the cup himself. "F'ur's not here, F'lix. Phre confirmed A'emi and K'sel got out and weren't killed. I didn't think to have her keep tabs on Inocenth. He's probably with them, though. I'm fairly certain he would have caused enough of a commotion here that we'd know if he stayed." Kalierre didn't deal in false hope, but anyone who saw them together...F'ur would have gone wherever Saboth sent him. He must have.

"Saboth's wing was broken. F'lix...Selenitas was taken over by Wasteland. It couldn't have lasted longer than two minutes. Millieth was captured, Hepaticath slain. Jingth fled with most of Legatus. S'rei is presumed dead...The wings have been rearranged. Everything is different now." She gestured to the knots, the colors foreign, looped over her shoulder. "But you don't need to worry about that right now. Phre and I will deal with Ja'kin and Ur'h - he's your new wingleader - until you're ready," she assured him. It might have been kinder to keep more from him for awhile, but news didn't get better with age. She didn't want him to find out some harsher way. Kalierre's hand brushed his arm. "Do you think you can handle some broth?"

Phremath, who had spent most of the night curled up near Saboth, nudged lightly at his flank. See, Saboth? I told you KaliMine would make Yours better. Will you let me bring you some food now, please? You cannot heal as you should if you don't eat, she urged quietly.

[rii]

They..

F'lix fought to concentrate on the words as he struggled to sit up, a silent growl in the back of his throat when Kalierre helped him; too tired to pushed at her in stubbornness. He accepted the cup in silence, eyes turning to brieftly examine Kahrelir with interest. An almost surreal image, the smiling child, and for a moment F'lix couldn't do anything but stare blankly at the boy. F'lix tilted his head back against the wall, rolling it to the side to shift his line of sight to Kalierre. A sevenday.

Many days, Lilitu voiced, clear enough that it has been too many days for her liking. She climbed her way up the folds of his shirt, perching on his clavicle to nuzzle at the side of his neck. He wanted to touch her in reassurance, but the cup weighed his hands down, or maybe it was the next bit of information. Not here didn't mean the same as gone; merely implied he was somewhere else and hopefully that place wasn't a shallow grave. Kalierre didn't sound certain though – and a doubtful voice in the back of his mind brought up reasons why F'ur wouldn't have gone, that the somewhere else he'd went was forever between..

"Oh," F'lix responded simply, gaze falling to the water.

Forcing the thoughts aside, F'lix latched onto the rest of the information. A cold laughter started softly at the enlightenment Wasteland. He could remember standing in on that arrangement to let Ba'sun, C'zan and K'ryn into their home. Had set themselves up for that one, didn't they? At Ja'kin's name, the laughter only rose in volume and hollowed. The rest of Kalierre's words lost. Surely this was all the nightmare, and the dream he had previously enjoyed was reality. It suddenly was very appealing to just to go back to sleep and never wake again.

Lilitu's claws raked over the palpable bone, but the pain did little to lessen the near maniacal laughter. "Isn't that delightful. I wonder what grand scheme he has in mind to go so out of his way to come here," The works spoken venomously. He knew that specifically Ja'kin had no interest in him, or cared whether he was there or not, but didn't it just figured that because of that man F'ur was gone. Oh, this just made F'lix want to get up and kindly greet their new weyrleader. Yes..

The laughter gone, and leaving him just as empty as it sounded, F'lix shifted under Kali's touched. He turned to slide his legs out from under the covers, placing bare feet against the cool floor. His eyes wandered the room for any sight of his clothes. Yet when he tried unsuccessfully to rise the first time, he gave a surrendering snort. "Fine. Broth." Then suddenly, because F'lix didn't want to sit and let his mind stew, he continued speaking. "They've probably already upturned the abandoned weyrs and picked through everything. I need to go see what's left - are there new room assignments?"

Saboth, did little more than uncurl slightly from the tight, pale colored ball he had made himself into in the far back. His head rested against the floor, the single good eye turning toward Phremath as the only sign of acceptance that he was willing to give at the time..

[Requiem]

Kahrelir's eyes had gone wide, focusing on the man he'd been watching so long with decided uncertainty. He half-turned away from the bluerider, drawing his legs up to his chest and wiping at the spilled water with his sleeve. It was a mindless sort of motion, the child's eyes focused very determinedly on a spot on the table that meant he wouldn't have to look at the laughing man. But then the laughter was growing louder, and Rel covered his ears. He did not like that sound. It wasn't like laughing was supposed to sound, and it was just plain wrong. A nudge against his hands caused him to look to the small creature perched on his knees. Lust crooned softly to the child and rubbed against his arm reassuringly.

The dragonhealer's eyes had narrowed on F'lix. He knew Ja'kin. Now, Kalierre knew of Ja'kin, as much as anyone knew the leaders of a Weyr. The bronzerider had always been a leader, even if it was usually from the background. She tried to remember if he was one of the pretty metallics she'd used once, and couldn't. One had seemed much like any other. But F'lix didn't know of him, he knew him. The tone of his voice and the shift in the laughter made that more than clear. She made a mental note to watch the ex-Weyrsecond of Benden more carefully. Kalierre wasn't really quick to trust him anyway, but the takeover had been about as painless as was possible and he seemed a reasonable sort...the dragonhealer was too colored by Benden to have anything resembling a prejudice against them as a whole. Clearly more to Ja'kin than the image he presented though. A good thing to keep in mind.

The woman had turned from her former squad leader, wrapping her arms around her boy and setting him down on the floor. Lust had already wound upward and now perched on his shoulder, still nuzzling against his neck comfortingly. Kalierre led him to the hallway and an apprentice, asking for the broth and ruffling the boy's hair as the apprentice led him back to her office. She glanced sidelong at F'lix's attempt to stand the whole while. Satisfied that she wouldn't have to make him stay in bed as she should, she returned to the bed and took the cup from him.

"As far as I can tell, they aren't moving us around, just filling the empty weyrs." She frowned slightly at him. "I suppose they've probably taken yours, too, with no one there. I can check for you when I get off shift. Is there...anything you wanted, if it still hasn't been touched?" Kalierre might still be able to get it for him, even if his weyr had been taken. She turned back to the door to accept the broth, handing it to him and moving over to Kahrelir's vacated stool to rest her leg. The woman shifted slightly. "It'll be R'wign's shift, soon. He'll do what he can to help, too." In typical R'wign style, no doubt, but that was beside the point.

Phremath watched Saboth move a little, the small female just a little sad, watching him. The poor blue must have been very scared, and no doubt his wing hurt, plus he was stuck here, which was never fun. She nuzzled his neck lightly. Well, I'm going to get some food now, and you'll eat it, she stated, with surprising firmness. The green moved through the dragon portion of the infirmary, out to the ledge, and dropped, playing on the thermals and air currents to take her over the herd pens. She dropped on one of the beasts with little more than efficiency, tearing him up into the sky with her. (Landing always ran the risk of not being able to get airborne again if she couldn't find the right conditions.)

[rii]

A simple offer, and on some level F'lix recognized the gesture for what it was worth, but at the same time he wanted to narrow his eyes on her; shift his features into that all too familiar glare. He didn't want her to go to his weyr. Didn't want anyone to go in there. It was a personal part of his life, if only an empty room now, and he didn't want to go around inviting people inside to tread over what little he might have left. Just thinking about it brought a sting to his eyes. F'lix closed them, pushing his head back into the stone to control the reaction.

He accepted the broth much like he had the cup of water, letting the dish sink down to sit in his lap. Gold peeked out from between dark lashes, silently regarding the woman for a long moment. He was hungry, but also tired. The temptation to lay back down and escape back into a world of dreams tugged at his mind. He knew, thought, that simply ignoring everything wouldn't bring about a solution or closure. Sooner or later he would have to face it. No reason to stall and build up a tower of hope and doubts. It'd all crash in the end.

"I want to stay in my weyr, if it isn't occupied." It should have been phrased as a question, but F'lix had always failed in the area of social graces. Now, actually getting to his room would prove to be a problem. He doubted a healer would be keen to the idea of letting a patient - recently woken from a brief coma - stumble out of the infirmary. "I'm just down the hall. R'wign is my neighbor."

Or was, depending on if anyone moved into the empty weyr. "I'm sure if I do anything stupid, or something bad happens, Lilitu will let everyone know." Even if she didn't permit it, F'lix was bound and determined to retreat to something familiar. He didn't want to stay inside the small infirmary room.

Saboth shifted as Phremath went to fetch a herd beast. Kind of her, even if he had little desire to move let alone eat. He was glad that his rider had woken, really, but he knew the questions would be coming. Where he had sent the others. After a week of worry, hovering near the brink of death and between, Saboth had forgotten. Squinting against the early morning light, Saboth eased his pale hide out into the light.

[Requiem]

Hunching slightly, her leg drawn up beneath her, the dragonhealer glanced out toward the main part of the infirmary. This was not...something she was good at dealing with. Obviously. The woman hadn't stopped long enough to bother about the absence in her own weyr, and that was purposeful. In fact, it was uncomfortable to be in the presence of the unvoiced emotion, not really liking how it was making her mind wander. Pointless platitudes and empty reassurances just weren't her thing. They tasted so...bitter...on the tongue, and she didn't care to imagine how they might sound. She wasn't a clown, either, to bury things behind jokes. Or scold a grown man for something that no one really had a right to scold him for. Business, work, that was how she dealed. It just...didn't seem to fit here.

"Fury." The little green, her forepaws wrapped around the leg of the stool as much as she could manage glanced up at Hers, then hissed tempramentally. You Fury be, she demanded of F'lix, which was about as gracious an acceptance of a command as the green could be. She did not like leaving Hers. Nevertheless, the upright mandyr stalked out of the infirmary, breaking into a run that soon had her down the hall. The creature squirmed into the opening beneath the door, then began prowling the weyr. Live-ins, live-ins. Some things were out as if they'd been gone through, but the bed seemed to be untouched from the floor. (Did not like heights, would not climb up there to be sure, didn't care if anyone - even Hers - didn't approve.) No dragon out in the adjoining cave or on the ledge. Seemed...empty enough.

While Kalierre waited for her salamandyr to finish scouting out the weyr that had been F'lix's, she scratched lightly at the underside of one wrist. "Saboth will have to stay a little longer. Are you sure-" Are you sure you want to go back to an empty weyr and the ghosts there? Would that really be better than staying in this room a little longer? But Kalierre didn't ask questions like that of people she hadn't known for much longer than she'd known F'lix, so it was left hanging.

Brushing the words aside with a gesture, the woman eyed F'lix. "Eat. I've no intentions of picking you up off the floor somewhere when you realize that you can't function on nothing," the woman stated brusquely. Familiar topic, that. "Even if it doesn't stay down the first few times, some of it will be getting into your bloodstream first. Better than nothing." She glanced at Fury when the green dashed back inside and practically threw herself at the stool, tail lashing with agitation. Her head swept the room, looking for any dangers. Only after she'd satisfied herself that Hers wasn't in any immediate need of protection did she offer up her conclusion. Empty.

She nodded. "Eat first. Then, if you still want to...I'll see if I can work something out." It was as good as he was likely to get from Kalierre, for now. She may have been sympathetic, but she was a healer foremost, and right now leaving him alone in that weyr did not sit comfortably with her. Maybe Lust would be willing to spend a day or two. Yes. Maybe.

[rii]

"I am," F'lix firmly said the words at her slight pause. An internal debate, on her half, on how to phrase the words that if she continued to try and form he would have cut off to avoid any in-depth conversation. His eyes settled on hers with the simple words. He knew what he was doing, but he wasn't about to explain anything to her. It was already bad enough he was in the state to someone that had previously been in his squad. Certainly wasn't the first time he had shown up at the infirmary unconscious - plague, Simper's death - but now he felt the small addition that he needed to hold up in a farce of being perfectly well, in control, stable.

Even if the weyr was filled with nothing but ghosts, those ones were better and welcomed over the ones that lurked in the presence on Ja'kin and those he had once known inside of Benden's walls. F'lix gaze drifted down to the broth and the spoon he began to absently stir through the thin mixture. Eat, be a good boy, and she'd see about letting him hiding in his old room. He should of felt insulted, and part of him reasoned it was all a stalling tactic, but obediently he took a spoonful into his mouth. It wasn't as if she had some higher rank to consult about making the decision, thus only confirming his doubts that he would be allowed to leave.

Woe to the one that honestly tried to stop him from walking out. If R'wign wanted to get annoyed (and F'lix knew the man well enough from being a neighbor and his few trips, and Fur's trips, through the infirmary) then he could just come next door and check in on him. Or get decked. It was highly possible. Kalierre only received tolerance and moderately polite demeanor because he felt a touch closer and more trusting to those that had been part of his squad.

"Thank you," A quiet gratitude he spoke, but didn't look to meet her gaze, and quickly put another spoonful into his mouth to avoid speaking again. He might only be thanking her for the thought, or the humoring, but even if she didn't pull through for him.. he'd leave. He attempted a topic change, as it seemed she wasn't soon in leaving immediately and he hated the feeling of the previous topic hanging heavily in the air. "Will Saboth be able to fly again?"

[Requiem]

The creature was, well, not quite dead, and the feeble movements threw off Phremath's rather creative flight-pattern a bit. After drifting rather too far west, she found a current of air to right herself, and the green with her stunted wings twisted lower and dove for the ledge that Saboth was partially on. She landed there and jerked her claws through the beast again, the animal twitching then falling still. Please eat, the green stated again, backing up and sliding her tongue over her claws and forelegs to clean them. The dragon had been very worried for Saboth, so pale and despondent. Phremath was tired of all the dragons leaving her. It would have been more than sad if Saboth did, too, even though he'd never been particularly playful or talkative. She liked him.

There was nothing at all awkward about this conversation. Not at all. Kalierre's eyes were somewhat withdrawn, the woman clearly not really in the room with F'lix at that moment, and his thank you went unnoticed. Lust was not very interested in staying in a strange weyr with a man he didn't really know and a salamandyr that already didn't like him because she didn't like his mate. He'd much rather just be near His. Why couldn't they do as they always did? Didn't she want him? He thought that she did, but maybe he was wrong if she was so willing to make him stay away. Kalierre ground her teeth, blinking in confusion at F'lix's question. It took her a moment to process it.

The woman managed a small smile for him. "It was a clean break. He'll fly just fine. There's no reason he shouldn't heal quickly and completely." Now that F'lix wasn't in a coma, anyway. Phremath had been worried Saboth would give up and Between. Simple though the green might have been, Kalierre trusted the dragon's instincts, and the dragonhealer was more than relieved that the bluerider had awoken before Saboth did anything rash. Maybe now he'd eat and rest...Once he started taking better care of himself, the wing should repair itself swiftly.

At long last Lust returned to the room, but he didn't spare His so much as a glance, the male climbing the bed and sullenly climbing the rider and curling into a ball on his shoulder. Kalierre pinched the bridge of her nose lightly. She supposed it was good that Lust still could be mad at her. The woman decided that there were other empty weyrs near F'lix's. She and Kahrelir could go 'camping.' The bluerider didn't need to know, and it really had nothing to do with him, anyway; Kalierre didn't like Lust being far from her any more than he did. Across the gorge was just...much too far. "Finish eating. I'll have someone help you. Just...don't bother Lust. He won't bug you." Kalierre couldn't fully keep the worry from her voice, but she pushed herself up off the stool before any questions could be asked and escaped into the halls to find an apprentice who wasn't busy.

[rii]

Saboth sunned, the first time his pale hide had been touched by the warmth since his arrival at the infirmary. He didn't really recall the actual trip there, only falling after making a failed attempt at Demotaeth's life – lying on the bank of the river with the scent of ichor around him and the resounding death keens of others passing between. He couldn't even fly to join them, instead his life was slowly seeping away. Saboth had laid his head down on the warm grass, closed his eye and patiently concentrated on the dull, weak heartbeat that resounded inside of F'lix's chest - so certain that soon the pain would end.

Carefully Saboth tucked the broken wing back against his side as a shadow fell over the ledge - a touch paranoid in the reflex as he turned his eye around to view Phremath. It took a good amount of will power to move up to the fallen herdbeast and the small green. The hunger growled in his stomach, but it wasn't the beast he touched. His tongue passed over the blood splatted on Phremath's shoulder before he rested his head against her back, body half coiling around the one that had kept him company while he awaited death. Even now he wasn't so sure of things, as his rider's mind pulled further and further away; what would happen now?

When would the pain end?

F'lix concentrated on the broth, nodding mutely to the information, not letting it go anywhere beyond the surface of his mind. He watched with a detached curiosity he watched the bronze salamandyr climb up to his shoulder - Lilitu giving forth no protest - or approval. She was content to have Lixhers awake and eating. She'd work on making him better later. One thing at a time, and if they must have another pair of eyes watching sillyhers, then so be it. "I won't," F'lix assured with a faint look of question direction at the quaver in Kalierre's voice, but she was gone, and his attention fell back to the broth.

Everyone had their own troubles from the take-over, surely, he just wasn't in any state to be considerate of them. He wasn't asking for sympathy, for a shoulder - just wanted to be alone. No questions, no poking, no attempts to draw him out of his inner sorrow. Just time.. alone..