Remind me I'm Alive (Rei)

[Zephyr]

He had returned from the hatching, whether or not Sydney decided to accompany him. If she wanted to be alone, that was fine. It wasn't like her brother and only friend had just impressed and would be moving to another set of barracks. The boy sighed, flopping down on a seat in the common room. It had been an exhausting day, to say the least. Who knew that standing around all day watching dragons hatching would be this tiring.

And his exhaustion wasn't just physical. He had lost all of his friends due to this hatching, and if had to be honest with himself, he had expected to impress before Cas. Not that he didn't think Cas deserved it, he was sure he did...but a bronze? That kid was so far from a bronzerider it wasn't funny. Well, at least he knew now that Cas wasn't gay. Any doubt of that was washed from his mind at impression. He thought that should make him feel better about being in Cas' presence, but it didn't. Now he had the jealousy of his friend having a dragon to deal with...not that avoiding he and Lilu would do any good.

Sighing, he fell on his back on the couch. He supposed the new weyrlings would be back to the barracks soon for their belongings...or they would send someone to fetch them for them. Surely their dragons would be sleeping after that feast they had. He had never had a dragon before, but King had slept for a good long while after Kai stuffed him full. Speaking of, Kai wondered where the monster was. He thought he had seen his greenish bronze hide near Osnat's new queen. Ah well, if he wanted to flirt, Kai wouldn't cramp his style.

[Rei]

She had changed out of the robe immediately upon returning to the barracks then sat there for a few minutes with the bright white garment in her hands. August had impressed and Sydney had been left behind. Her brother had a new life to begin. A new dragon to obsess over. New classmates to bond with and she….she wouldn’t get to join him there. It felt like she was losing him all over again. It felt the same as when that search rider had taken him and she had been left behind. Still the dark haired girl’s eyes were dry. Only a few tears had fallen on the sands and she had immediately stopped them. Crying had always seemed pointless to Sydney. They never helped anything. Sitting here crying wasn’t going to make the pain go away. It wasn’t going to make her less lonely. It wouldn’t change the fact that her brother had impressed without her. And it sure as hell wasn’t going to get her a dragon.

Tossing the robe back in her trunk Sydney slammed the lid shut, taking comfort in the violent action. They’d see. They’d all see. She’d impress next time. She would and no one was going to tell her otherwise. Glancing around the girl’s dorms she run a hand through her dark hair and spun on her heel to leave the place. She didn’t want to be there when the other girls came back for their things. When August came back. Sydney needed time to process everything and if she saw August too soon she knew she wouldn’t be able to put up a brave front for him. No she needed to be away for awhile. Stepping into the hallway the young woman started for the exit to the barracks. As she passed the common room her eyes darted into the open area out of habit and she stopped still. That boy was there. The one who had crossed the sands to speak to her when she’d stood there numb, frozen, and left behind in the wake of the hatching.

Stepping into the common room her green eyes darted around and finding Kaius to be the only one there she cleared her throat. “Um hey. Kaius was it?” Moving closer to the couch the young woman tried to smile but the expression fell short. “You alright?” Sydney had never found it hard to talk to guys. In fact more often then not she found she had more in common with them then the prissy girls in the hold. She’d always been a bit of a tomboy and that hadn’t changed as she’d gotten older. “They’ll be back to get things soon as their dragons get to sleep so I’m getting out of dodge. You want to come to?” She figured that was better then the guy laying here all by himself….and to be honest she could use a distraction from her thoughts. They were both sort of losers today right? Misery liked company and all that.

[Zephyr]

He heard the girl's voice from his prone spot on the couch. Tilting his head up and back, he gazed at her curiously upside down. The boy grinned at her, then the smile disappeared when he saw her expression. This hatching hadn't sat well with her, at all. He wondered if she'd ever been to other hatchings, ever faced that sort of disappointment. Not only did none of the hatchings choose her, but her brother had been ripped away and he assumed that she and he had been close...how close Kai could only guess. He had only ever been close to Mara, and when she had been pulled away into that arranged marriage...the thought made his stomach drop. He knew what it was like. That had happened to him before.

" Yeah." He said. He really was alright. He'd been though a hatching or two in his life, and this wasn't his first rejection. Slowly, he rose up in case she wanted to sit down and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. " You okay?" He asked, not being oblivious to her expression. She didn't answer him, though, kept right on talking. His eyes shifted to the door and he watched them curiously. Yeah. He wasn't sure he wanted to be here when Lilu walked in. He still wasn't sure what he thought about her being a weyrling. One thing was for sure: their relationship would never be the same. He just didn't know what that entailed and to what degree.

The idea of going with Sydney seemed terribly appealing at the moment and he tore his gaze away from the door, determinedly looking at the dark haired girl. " I'd love to." The boy rose from his seat, motioning for her to lead the way. " Where'd you have in mind?"

[Rei]

Sydney watched Kaius for a few silent moments as he regarded her. Something in his eyes spoke of sympathy and for a moment the woman wanted to reject that. She didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for her. But somehow this time it felt okay. Why shouldn’t she be upset after all? Not only had no dragon even looked at her but one had stolen her brother and even left her a nice huge bruise as a reminder. Sweet of the brown. When the other candidate’s eyes shifted to the door she hazarded a small knowing smile. Likely he was thinking of the happy returning weyrlings too. Truth be told Sydney knew how it went. No matter how hard you tried to stay friends they had dragons now. They would be ungodly busy with little time for outsiders. Plus she really couldn’t stand their happiness right now. Five marks said Kaius felt the same way.

It seemed she was right because finally the other candidate tore his eyes from the door and his mind from his thoughts and answered. Green eyes met his and Sydney decided she liked the look he had in his. Not sad, not really depressed, but speaking of some inner strength. “Good.” The woman replied simply at first and then turned to lead the way slowing down to allow the other candidate to walk beside her. “I don’t know really. Anywhere not here? I’d say the weyrbowl lake but everyone seems to be hanging around that area before the feast. How about we go out for a short walk instead?” It was only late afternoon and if they stuck around close to the weyr itself they would be safe. The whers had been working hard to clear the predators close by at least.

Sydney stayed mostly silent until they had exited the weyr. Stretching her arms out in front of her she glanced sidelong at her companion for that afternoon. Really she had seen Kaius around but hadn’t really interacted with many of the other candidates. Not because she disliked them. Mostly because the woman had immersed herself into the infirmary to deal and she had always had August to bank on for company. He was much better then the prissy girls she roomed and always her best friend, even if he was her brother. Couldn’t hurt to get to know other people now and boys had always proved to be much better company then girls. “So Kaius. How long have you been a candidate?” Sydney began. Easy opener into a conversation right?

[Zephyr]

Kaius was never opposed to not knowing where he was going. Especially now, when all he wanted to do was be away from this place. He didn't hate or even dislike any of the new weyrling. He was just understandably a little bitter. Bitter because they had impressed and not him. He'd been there longer than most of them, and yet...none of the dragons picked him. He knew it wasn't because of any deficiency on his part, and he knew it wasn't their fault, and while not many of them were the type to rub the face that they had impressed in his face, he wasn't particularly eager to see any of them. Their mere presence would be enough to rub salt into the wound. So, he caught up with Sydney, flashing her a grin. " A walk sounds wonderful. Best idea I've heard all day."

He was interested by the girl's silence. He kinda wondered what she was thinking. Obviously she was upset. No one would blame her for being upset anyway. Her brother was gone, and he seemed pretty damn important to her. And she hadn't impressed. The thought sobered him up and he walked with her in silence. Well, there was one thing they had in common, the stinging disappointment of being passed up by someone who didn't seem superior to you in any way, and yet obviously was.

He shrugged at her words. " For a few turns. I was recruited for Millieth's last hatching." He walked in silence. And I hadn't been good enough then, either. After a bit, he turned to Syd again, his grin bright. " What about you? I haven't seen you around the weyr much...unless I'm just really unobservant."

[Rei]

The quiet wasn’t so bad. In fact Sydney preferred it. When Kaius caught up to her she offered him a small smile. It wasn’t as bright as it could have been but it was a smile nonetheless and that was really all that mattered. Almost without thinking she adjusted her stride to match his longer one. “I thought it sounded pretty amazing myself. Better then sitting here surely.” The response was almost automatic as the dark haired girl lead the way alongside one of the paths that had been cut near the weyr. The safe zone for people meandering about outside. Now Sydney was a bit bold at times but she figured staying on the path was all well and good for now. They needed to get back eventually after all and getting lost wouldn’t be a good thing. Not really anyway. Though the thought was a nice idea to entertain. Getting lost for a little bit would probably be rather nice.

As the silence stretched onwards the candidate found herself getting used to it. It was nice. There really didn’t need to be words anyway. Silence could be it’s own comfort and she found Kaius easy to be around. At least she wasn’t nervous in the least. As the minutes passed the woman found herself looking at the jungle plants around them and trying to note their medical uses if they had anyway. Benefit of living in the jungle and being a healer. You had things all around that you could work with. Dry that, extract juice from the root of that one, boil that one. Yes they lived in a practical treasure trove. And who knew? Some of the plants around could even have special properties she wasn’t aware of or had learned yet. Thoughts of plants at least kept her mind off of her brother and the disappointment still settled somewhere deep in her breast. Eventually her thoughts went back to the man striding easily beside her. She wondered if he was as disappointed as she was?

Green eyes flicked back to his face as he finally answered her question and Sydney gave him another small sad smile. “A few turns huh? Me too. My brother was searched a few turns before I got here actually. Then my mother and father got sick with the plague and died. I was alone so I ended up coming here to be with August.” She shrugged. “He stood that hatching too. The one you did with the…culling. I became a candidate after that hatching to help support my brother because he was so upset. Now he impressed and yeah…” She snorted softly. “At least I still have the infirmary? In fact that’s probably why you haven’t seen me around all that much. I spend a lot of time there. Plus this place is really big.” Pausing she looked up into the canopy. “So then Kaius. What do you do for fun?” Because as cool as the silence was the candidate found she rather would like to see if she could make a friend here.

[Zephyr]

He smiled when she spoke, walking silently next to her. This girl was pretty cool, he decided. She didn’t seem all wrapped up in herself like most girls were, and she could make fun of herself without sounding like a total bitch. That was nice. It’s a good thing that Kai couldn’t read minds, because he probably would have tried to change her mind. Getting lost wasn’t a bad idea, anything to not have to worry about what was going on right now.

He had spent too long thinking about this. Sometimes, he just wanted to forget about everything he ever knew. It made the bad times…more bearable. Maybe that’s what he liked best about Sydney? She wasn’t a reminder of everything that had happened to him recently. She was something new, someone he didn’t have to worry about impressing or pretending to be fine in front of. If Lilu were to talk to him right now, he would lie his ass off to her, trying to make it seem like he was perfectly fine. He would even lie to Cas if the other boy asked him if anything was wrong. Sydney was different. She knew what he was going through, and he didn’t have to be fake around her.

So when she finally turned to talk to him, he flashed her the most genuine smile he had had on his face for a long time. Her story was interesting. He grinned at her. “ It isn’t good for you, you know. Holing yourself up in the infirmary all the time. You also miss the chance at hanging out with the awesome that is me.” He said cheekily, completely bracing himself in case she tried to hit him for that quip. The boy shrugged when she asked him what he did. Honestly, he had no idea. “ Whatever.” He said somewhat more quietly than he had been speaking earlier. It was sad when one didn’t know what they did for fun, but he hadn’t actually had fun in a long time. “ Hang out with King, I guess. I can’t really think of much I’ve done that was fun for a while. But this…” He said, looking at her. “…this is fun.”

And he'd let her take from that whatever she wanted.