Lovely Lady on Each Arm? (M'ta, Cr'oph)

[Ember]

T'san was pretty damn excited. He also looked pretty damn rediculous, but that's...well, kinda the whole point. For him anyways. He was pretty sure M'ta really wanted to fool Cr'oph some but T'san was a bit more practical - he only wanted to mess with the bronzerider. Granted, if they could prove one way or another if the bronzerider would stay loyal to Jazheera then bonus. The brownrider liked M'ta's little sister quite a lot. He didn't know much about Cr'oph other than what others said, though. Again, he was mostly there for the fun of it anyways, not the end results.

Speaking of which, he was getting a few interesting (and interested, what?) looks as he walked through the dining hall. He was dressed and painted as a pretty big woman. Elysia had done all she could to prettify him but the fact remained that he wasn't as slim as he was back in his early teens. The days of extreme poker dares was long since passed. (And people wondered why he was so good at poker. Running through Fort Weyr in a dress was a little different than doing so in Selenitas Weyr. If the Selenitas didn't understand entirely at least they were a bit less judgemental.)

He strutted through the dining hall, ignoring his more masculine build. What he was wearing was kind of poofy and hid some of his shape but...most female biceps and shoulders simply were not the large. He caught sight of red hair and grinned almost ferally. Time to lead the charge. He glanced over at his companion and leaned over to mutter, "Red head spotted. I'll go flush him out for you, madame." M'ta was, if anything, a little more convincing than he was. Perhaps Cr'oph would be se scared of T'san that he'd gladly turn to M'ta.

The brownrider moved to the table the bronzerider was sitting at and slide in on his left side. Cue overly feminine flirtation mode. "Well hello there, handsome," T'san said, batting his lashes a bit too much. At least his voice was passably female with the way he was speaking. It used to be easier but his voice had never gone as low as, say, M'ta's when he'd hit puberty. T'san attempted a smile that didn't possess as much masculine charm as his usual smiles did. It was a pity J'ash was a terribly fighter. He of all people made a decent female. Oh well. This would be way more fun.

[Requiem]

I do not think you make a very pretty female humanthing, Mine. Even though M'ta was pretty sure Behruth wasn't exactly the authority on beauty in humans, he appreciated the assessment. If he'd made a lovely woman well...that would be a bit uncomfortable, wouldn't it? Yes, I know. Fortunately, T'san's even worse. I should look halfway decent by comparison. You really think Mavenath's will think you're pretty? I don't think he has terribly high standards. He just lucked out with my sister. We'll find out?

Actually, as it turned out...M'ta did make a believable woman. With a lot of help, of course. He'd even gone as far as a corset (which was distinctly uncomfortable) to help with shape because, short of wearing a shapeless sack, it would be pretty obvious he was a guy. The brownrider, despite his diminuitive height, had been gifted with a very clear inverted triangular form since about 16 or 17, and it was a bit difficult to convince people he had hips with a shape like that. Fortunately, a corset, some strategically placed fruit and layered clothing took care of most of that problem. A skirt helped, too. His calves weren't too obviously male and he himself was small enough that he could get away with clothes that highlighted a naturally slim figure, the sweater helping to conceal the breadth of his shoulders. All in all, while a lot of work was needed, he definitely had more (or less, depending on your point of view) going for him than T'san. Add a curly wig that was much like his own hair had been before he cut it and Elysia's touch when it came to the make-up, and he came out looking rather plain (if somewhat exotic) but female.

Now the only problem was the walk. And the voice. And the behavior. (Which was to say everything else.) He'd proven so abysmal at acting like a woman that they'd settled on having him play the shy role. Not too hard given he was somewhat standoffish naturally. If they could have melded T'san with M'ta they might have gotten a complete woman, but as it was they were just hoping T'san would turn the bronzer off enough that he wouldn't notice the weird things about M'ta. Like the breathy voice created by the corset that was the only chance in hell the shorter of the brownriders had of sounding anything remotely like a woman. Yay for deep voices? Someone had said women with low voices was sexy, but somehow M'ta seriously doubted they'd meant quite that low.

Well, Cr'oph clearly found Jazheera hot, and M'ta was related to her by blood, so there was a chance (however remote) that this might work. Then he could deck the bronzer without compunction and maybe convince Jazzy that she could do a whole lot better. He didn't say anything in response to T'san, moving to get some food first to try not to be associated with the woman T'san was pretending to be. Keeping his steps small and mincing (that was as close to a sexy walk as you were going to get out of M'ta) he dipped his head as he passed around the two and made a show of looking around before settling on Cr'oph's other side which was, fortunately enough, one of the only open seats currently. So far so good.

Casting a glance sidelong at T'san, he brushed curls behind his ear and returned his attention to his food, picking at it.

[Rei]

Bah really should have just grabbed Pixie or M’kai for lunch. It would have been much less boring if he had. But Jazheera was out doing something or other and his brother was currently pretty much ridiculously annoying to be around. Bitch and gripe about this and that and how aggravating his life was right then. Well that’s what his twin got for knocking someone up. A weyrling at that. Yeah nice job M’kai. You pretty much win the douche bag of the turn award. Sighing the bronzer picked at his food and stabbed it into his greens. Bored. So very freaking bored. On top of that no one seemed to be taking him seriously around here. For example they made C’oar Wingsecond instead of him. Really? C’oar? Of all the retarded management decisions. The council needed new brains.

A spark of brief amusement flared in his mind. Don’t you…. What dare make a comment? I just find it amusing that you think you can do better. I can! Well then Crymine. You need to prove it. If you had just listened to me from the beginning you would not be in this position. You should be well grown by now. You are what? Twenty five or some such by now? Yes it is time you took a role in things and stopped acting like a hatchling. Salenth’s would value you more if you started acting like a man instead of a mere child. Your irritation with the situation has all been brought on through your own actions. No one else is to blame. Now stop making excuses and actually act like you deserve to be bonded to me. The last words were a mental snap and Cr’oph blinked. Mavenath had the patience of a saint. It was rare for him to get truly angry or irritated at all and yet he could clearly feel the creature’s irritation. Okay. Sheesh you’re right. Quit bitching okay? I’m trying. The red head finally allowed before turning back to his meal. Damn dragons thought they knew everything.

Sudden movement to his left had the young man starting and he turned to blink owlishly at the…woman? Who had just taken that seat. I mean he assumed it was a woman. Even if she was one damn ugly broad. How had he missed her lumbering around the weyr? Maybe she was new? A quick glance revealed no knots and the bronzer very nearly blanched as she proceeded to call him handsome. Yeaaaaah. No thanks. She sounded like she had inhaled a bit too much smoke or something. Maybe she was one of those what did you call them? Herma somethings?

Trying his best to remain at least polite Cr’oph attempted an awkward smile. “Hi there. Do I know you?” As he spoke the red head shifted his weight away from the odd woman. He didn’t notice female!M’ta’s arrival until the smaller “woman” sat at his other side and he almost bumped his hip into ‘her’ as he tried to scoot a bit away from the amazon to his left. Turning his head to glance at the small thing he had almost bumped into the bronzerider offered an apology. “Oh sorry. I didn’t see you there. Kinda crowded in here I guess.” At least this one wasn’t butt ugly even if she could do to maybe put a touch more feminine flare into her appearance. At the very least.

[Ember]

You are the most rediculous thing to ever walk this earth, IdiotMine, Dsoleth's tone was as harsh as his words, though the emotion pulsing across the bond was one of fondness. Oho! And the peanut gallery finally decided to check in. Bit late, don't ya think? I was too busy trying to wrap my head around the fact that you chose to dress up as a woman. An ugly one at that. I thought you kicked the... The brown trailed off as he realized that calling it a 'habit' would be false as well as make it seem like he had deliberately chosen a crossdresser for a rider. Not so.

T'san was thankful that he could hide his amusement at his dragon's belated reaction to their scheme behind the smile he'd been giving Cr'oph. It would be very disappointing to end their game so early. Especially since the bronzerider clearly didn't recognize him (and that fact sent the whole thing over the edge of funny into downright hilarious). T'san was bound and determined to have as much fun with it as possible before turning the reigns over to M'ta. "Oh, I don't think so," he responded to Cr'oph. "But I'd like to know you...?" He left a pause for Cr'oph to fill in his name. The other guy was clearly trying to act polite which was probably more than he'd be able to do in the same situation. T'san would be too busy laughing to be polite.

He was so enthusiastically focused on weirding out the bronzerider that he almost missed the look his friend shot him. Well then...He scooted towards the bronzerider just a little and watched in amusement as the other man moved backwards and into his partner. T'san leaned so he could see around Cr'oph to M'ta, curious how he'd respond to the bronzerider. We should bet whether it will be me or M'ta that will give us away eventually. What do you think? I think you're still being rediculous and Behruth's makes a more convincing girl than you ever will. So my bet is on Behruth's.

[Requiem]

You have no idea what you're doing, do you? the brown questioned his rider with distinct amusment. Indeed, M'ta was absolutely at a loss as to how women normally responded to being nearly smushed. Especially with T'san's gushing over there (which he was certain he couldn't do at all). So rather than saying anything at all, he found himself turning a rather flustered look on Cr'oph that was not the least bit fake, then quickly looking back to his meal and inching a touch away from the bronzer. Not enough to land him in the lap of the next person over or even touch them, but yes, that little movement was no doubt noticeable. Benden bronzer germs. Mavenath might be Selenitas, but Cr'oph sounded completely Benden to M'ta's ears. Just yuck.

"I guess," he agreed quietly, not entirely sure that Cr'oph would even hear him over the noise in the room but certain that he had to say something considering the bronzerider had yet to look away from him. This was really a bad idea, wasn't it? On paper it was good enough, but somehow he'd overlooked the obvious; he had to actually talk to Cr'oph for this to work, and to talk to him like a woman who didn't find him completely repulsive in the process. Faranth. How was that going to work?

M'ta was just about ready to flee when Behruth's laughter in his mind caught his attention. This was not funny. Would you like me to help you, ShortyMine? Another glance was spared Cr'oph and M'ta managed a small smile for him. You think you can help? M'ta questioned incredulously. Behruth's response was annoyingly cheerful. It can't be any worse than how you're doing right now. A pause. Okay, I'll give you that.

If you wanted to get my attention, though, I like shinies. What? Say it. If you wanted to get my attention, though, I like shinies. People don't say that. But Ruth didn't respond, just waiting expectantly. Fine, fine. "If you wanted to get my attention, though, there are better ways," he commented, glancing down and looking at the man out of the corner of his eye. That was kind of coy, right? Maybe? What did girls...? "I like flowers." Flowers. Really? Faranth he was going to die. His cheeks felt on fire.

[Rei]

If there was an award for most awkward moment ever Cr’oph totally thought he deserved it at that moment. Horseface was still speaking and here he was totally ignoring that the ugly large one existed for what? Miss nerve bucket of course. Yeah he had had better dining hall interactions. The anxious one was sure not going to help him in his avoid the horseface attempt if she wouldn’t talk though. In fact she seemed like she was about ready to run away. Well shit. That wasn't fair. That would leave him with just horseface and he didn’t want to be rude by just leaving. Crap. This is not funny Mave. He growled mentally at the bronze as the dragon’s laughter filtered across the bond. Glancing briefly at T’san he attempted a small smile. “Uh Cr’oph. The name’s Cr’oph.” Surely she should know that? Sure he wasn’t the most prominent bronzer in the weyr but bronzer’s themselves were rather small in number. Especially older ones. Not that he was really all that old in comparison to some but he wasn't a weyrling anymore. Hadn't been for awhile. As for the wanted to get to know him part? Yeah…he was ignoring that for as long as was polite.

Turning the majority of his attention back to M’ta he blinked when she suddenly looked like she was zoning out a bit. With a rather strained smile on her face to boot. Oh great. Please tell me that this one isn’t mental where the other one is ugly. Oh that would be just your luck wouldn’t it? Came the amused response. Cr’oph mentally flicked his bronze before returning his attention to the mental one who was suddenly speaking again. He blinked in surprise at her.

Wanted to get her attention, what? Flowers? Chuckling lightly he tried to decide just how to respond. This was just getting more awkward by the minute. “Flowers. Right. I’ll keep that in mind. Um I don’t think I got your name?” Really and honestly he was just trying to apologize for bumping into her. That was it. Though now maybe her anxiousness made more sense. She thought he was trying to hit on her? Either she was really hopeful, was a bronzer chaser, or he had stumbled upon the land of bizarre women on accident. With horseface leaning in from his left Cr'oph was pretty much sure it was the latter.

Well this was just sharding great. He was rather trapped between these two now and had no idea how to get away without completely offending them. Normally Cr’oph probably wouldn't care, but after just having a conversation about maturity it seemed rather hypocritical to run away and possibly offend both women. Besides he hadn’t even really finished his breakfast yet. Oh yeah. Breakfast. That might buy him some time actually. Reaching for his klah he concentrated on sipping it. Maybe awkward silence would work?